Posts Tagged ‘relationship astrology’

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Yesterday, as I drove home from a Dharma teaching in the Tidewater region (about 2.5 hours away from home), I had the good fortune to be questioned by a friend and Tibetan scholar about how does relationship astrology work? He grew up as a monk but gave up his robes and vows around the age of 23.

This is going to be a post in progress. So if you come back, you can read more over the next few days. 🙂

First off, what is relationship astrology? What in particular do you look at in the astrology chart?

Relationship astrology in general refers to looking at two people’s charts and comparing them, using the synastry between them and sometimes even creating a new chart of the relationship called the Composite Chart. With that said, first we will look at how we can see someone’s relationship needs from their own Natal Chart – their birth horoscope.

All of the planets, signs and houses in the astrology chart can play a role in relationship astrology, however Venus and Mars would be the best place to look first. Venus represents what we want (what do we desire?) in the simplest explanation, and Mars represents how we go about getting what we want.

This sounds very straight forward right? Well, astrology is a very complex topic. So it isn’t that simple. For instance, Venus’ sign can tell you a bit about how the person will like to love and be loved. It will tell you about their sensuality level, their passion or lack thereof, what kind of aesthetics they prefer, are they more romantic, do they like to take their time, how do they like to be wined and dined, etc. But here is the catch – so will the house position of Venus, so will the aspects to Venus, so will planets in the 2nd and 7th houses of the birth chart… Are you getting how intricate and interconnected astrology (in general and relationship astrology in particular) can be?

Likewise, Mars’ sign will tell you how assertive someone will be, how competitive, how driven, how direct, how aggressive, how passionate, how sensual, how romantic, how sexually driven, etc. And likewise so will the house placement, the aspects to Mars and planets in the 1st or 8th house.

Either of these planets aspecting Uranus, Neptune or Pluto will tack on an entire new level of dynamic twists and turns to either Mars or Venus. People have written entire books about each of these planets alone.. so I won’t go too deep here. Saturn or Jupiter in aspect to either relational planet will have different unique effects and persuasions.

Relationship astrology – why do some people yearn for a relationship really hard but never get one?

First of all, we are social creatures, so pretty much all people need social contact. Ideally we like to touch and be touched (consensual, comfortable, loving, appropriate touch), we want to be seen and heard and appreciated. But how much touching do we enjoy? Are we a Type A personality – driven, muscling through, a “no pain, no gain” type? Or are we more laid back? Are we more sensitive? And does that affect our romantic needs? (It often does!)

The first place to look is at the Natal Venus. The sign and house placement will tell you A LOT about the individual’s needs in relationships – and possibly if they even want one at all. By the way, it is rare for someone to be totally averse to any type of romantic relationship (see the last question below). Even if someone has less sexual hunger, we still get lonely and benefit from human contact!

Venus in the 2nd house will be different from Venus in the 5th and very different from the 12th house! So house position is quite important. The sign plays a major role, and alas, so do aspects to Venus.

The astrology chart is a reflection of our gross karma. So if someone has abused their power in relationships in the past (lives), then it is possible they will have poor relationship karma. But keep in mind that karma is not permanent – it can be transformed. If you have a spiritual practice, it can be transformed even faster. Negative karma can be worked off as it were.

Also we need to put the causes and conditions into place. If we are abrasive and angry, then we need to work on ourselves before we could possibly attract a harmonious relationship! And the conditions involve meeting people. There might be a great partner out there for us, but if we are too scared to go out, or to try GreenSingles or MeetMindful or other legit dating sites, then we might successfully avoid them for a while.

But the key is to work on yourself first. I told my mother back when I was 20 that I was going to work on improving myself so that down the road I could attract a good partner. That is how you can be prepared. If we don’t work on ourselves, then the “universe” (or really our inner need reflected in an outer person) will send someone who really triggers us around our blind spots.

To answer this question… be wary when you see the word “never.” You can be more prepared by working on yourself. Especially work to resource your inner developmental parts – this work is done via Birth Process Work (PPN Work), EMDR, Developmental Needs Meeting Strategy (DNMS), some Somatic Experiencing if the practitioner is really experienced and a few other modalities.

Why do we need to be aware of our developmental needs and unmet needs? Because this is what gets stirred up as soon as we get intimate with someone – we go straight back to our attachment style with our caretakers. This is true when we start having sex with someone and especially when we start living with someone. So do repair work for your little one. 🙂

Then you will have less unconscious stuff to be triggered by! And we will have much more psychic energy to put into creativity and joy!

To be continued in the next post!

Thank you for reading!



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I just completed a weekend of working with a medicine woman here at Massage School. We started chatting about what I offer… and the list started growing long (not to brag or boast – I have been learning bodywork since 2003 – simply what is).

She has taken several levels of BodyTalk – a modality where we muscle test to see what is the priority for the client. It is a comprehensive and complex modality. I have only taken the first level – BodyTalk Access which was insightful and where I learned some beneficial techniques! Plus I have been fortunate enough to receive at least several dozen BodyTalk sessions from exchanging with a friend who has taken all the Advanced Courses in it. Therefore I feel like I have some knowledge of the protocol and the muscle testing for what is a priority.

I mention all that because I am now working on a protocol for a Kirby’s Modality BodyTalk style protocol. It is pretty crazy all that I can offer – especially with the half dozen or more modalities I am learning here in Massage School!

Oh – and I told the medicine woman about my conversation with my Tibetan Lama, Khenchen Konchog Gyaltsen – a clairvoyant and exceptionally clear and lucid spiritual teacher. When my main bodywork teacher, Janet Evergreen, asked him about what she should call all that she does, he didn’t miss a beat saying, “Process Buddhism.” Now I pretty much offer most of what Janet does (having studied with her since 2005), so the medicine woman here said that I better add “Process Buddhism” to my protocol! 🙂

In case you are wondering, here is my list so far of what I offer: 5-Elements (Chinese Medicine basics), Craniosacral Therapy, Polyvagal Work, Pre- and Perinatal Therapy (and Education), Visceral Manipulation, other Process-oriented Bodywork, BodyTalk Access techniques, Zapchen Somatics, Kundalini Yoga Kriya, Chi Kung advice, Tai Chi basics, Acupressure, Swedish Massage, Hot Stones Integrated Treatment, Herbal Wrap, Shiatsu, Reflexology, Working with Essential Oils, Buddha-Dharma teachings (I am only able to share the basics but this is enough for most clients), Spiritual Astrology, Medical Astrology, Non-Violent Communication, Conflict Resolution Techniques, Process Buddhism would  fall under several other categories.

It looks like I definitely need to narrow this down! Or at least find an efficient way to muscle test and get a category pretty quickly. I might need to delete several items off my list.. time will tell!

I will keep working on this when I have time (we have 3 tests this week and we are preparing to teach Kundalini Yoga – not as a yoga teacher, just as a check mark to make certain we understand K. Yoga).

Thank you for reading!

Have a beautiful Spring day / evening,



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This post is actually about any hard aspect between Saturn and Jupiter in relationship synastry. I am going to define all the astrologese terms as it were.

Relationship Synastry means when I compare my separate birth (natal) astrology chart to someone else’s separate independent natal chart. For instance, my Saturn is in 16 degrees of Virgo (let’s say). If my partner has Jupiter in similar degrees of ANY mutable sign – Pisces (opposition to my Saturn), Gemini or Sagittarius (square aspect) or in Virgo (conjunction) – then this post will cover this scenario.

In terms of Composite charts (where we blend the two charts together), this dynamic is a bit different. Therefore I will only stick with the Relationship Synastry part here.

When there is the Hard aspect between Jupiter and Saturn in Relationship Synastry charts, it is quite challenging. Why is this?

Jupiter represents broadening the mind. As a result, it is enthusiastic, has a sense of wanderlust, knows everything is going to work out in the end, and loves to expand their minds whether through foreign travel, study of philosophy or learning foreign languages. Jupiter does not care much for boundaries or restrictions. It is a speculative influence – meaning Jupiterian (Jovial) people will take chances, sometimes gambling just a little and other times being more reckless. Jovial types often push boundaries to see what they can get away with. But how can we grow if we don’t take some chances or risks?

Spiritual Astrology Special

One Hour Astrology Interpretation. Get your Astrological birth chart interpreted from a Spiritual / Karmic / Evolutionary perspective. You name the topic (area of the chart) and we can dive in - these are some possible areas to look at: Timing Astrology, Relationship Astrology, Medical Astrology, Natal Astrology, Psychological Astrology. Thank you!


Saturn represents the cold, dark, distant border of the (naked eye) solar system – what we can see. As a result, it is a bit more of a wet blanket at times. It wants rules, boundaries, discipline and at times it can be more practical, sometimes bordering on the pessimistic side (at least this is what a Jovial type will accuse a Saturnian type of being). 🙂 Saturn is the great builder. Without Saturn, we would not have laws or even structure. It is an extremely important influence.

So why don’t these polar opposites make good bed fellows?

Because one person (usually represented by Saturn in the chart) is somehow feeling intimidated, threatened or pushed by the Jovial type. The Jupiter person in this dynamic will often ask for normal things – “Let’s go hiking up a beautiful, long trail to look at a gorgeous water fall.” Saturn might say, “But isn’t that hike dangerous?” They are just stating the obvious and being practical. Saturn’s defense is to lean on what is safe, what is known, what is pragmatic. In this case, maybe the Saturn person actually wants to go on this beautiful hike – but the first thing they think about is having heard that that hike is dangerous, and they blurt that out.

Saturn types are more conservative in general. And even if the Saturn type in this relationship dynamic which I am describing is not actually conservative most of the time, in this relationship, they will seem more conservative. The Jovial person brings their Saturn out to the forefront.

The Jovial type wants more freedom and more adventure. At least in the relationship. “Let’s go out tonight.” The Saturn type might respond, “But we are saving money for a house, remember?” Again being practical and keeping track of the long-term goals. Saturn is the builder, the planner, the organizer. Goal-oriented behavior is their bag.

This is a very complex dynamic. Often times you will see the person with the Saturn needing to be in control – whether of finances or decision making or some other arena – Saturn’s need to make or set the rules can come out.

I am not saying this dynamic alone will sink a relationship. If both partners are healthy and if they have done some degree of personal growth work on themselves, then these little power struggles can be articulated and worked through. The Saturn person can work on their languaging – working to be more supportive of their partner.

And it will help if both partners are bringing equal equity into the relationship. Meaning if both partners have decent jobs, making decent incomes, then this is a natural deterrent of Saturn automatically assuming control of the reins. However, often times this dynamic will arise Because there was a disparity between the partners early on. If (typically the guy, but these days times are truly changing) one partner is earning the lion’s share of the income, then they might feel it is their right to make most of the decisions. And if it is their Saturn making a hard aspect to their partner’s Jupiter, then look out! (See above)

Finally, this dynamic could (often is) be reflecting deeply held beliefs between one or both of the partners. For instance, psychological double binds can easily come into play. If the guy (assuming here that we have a male / female dyad) has a strong family tradition of males being the major bread-winners and taking care of the family’s money, then this can come out more easily when Saturn / Jupiter make a hard aspect. If a woman comes from a family where the women were more homemakers, etc, then they might slide into the slightly more subservient role (Jupiter in this case) and allow the Saturnian guy to take charge. But this creates slight resistance which eventually can build up into resentments.

All these issues need to be addressed and brought into the light. Then they can be worked upon and resolved (hopefully). Or at least the burden can be lightened. But it does require work. Both partners have to be willing to peek into dark uncomfortable parts of their subconscious and see what is lingering there. And hopefully both partners are ready to make positive changes for the benefit of the relationship.

If not, then this particular relationship dynamic can be quite difficult. And it could be the straw that breaks the camel’s back. Although, it would not be the only issue leading to separation.

Thanks for reading!


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I came back from a potent pre- and perinatal psychology retreat in early September.  I went deep, was fully resourced in the mountains of British Columbia, Canada.  However, on returning, I think my usual tendency to expect my expanded capacity to remain the same kicked in.  What I mean is that I needed to slow down, but I tried to do too much.  I was treating infants, treating bodywork clients, working full time and I started painting with acrylics again.  Fortunately, after a few weeks of speeding along and not feeling the same deep organic impulse that I had in Canada, I opted to only do one thing a day aside from my meditation and Dharma practice.  I am resting more.  I’m attempting to be more, and do less.

With that said, as my inner sense of urgency slows down and thaws out, I am noticing the impulse that is arising.  And it seems to be to do more astrology charts.  I have some talent, having put in 10 years of study and practice (hard work pays off)!  But it is different too.  In the past, when I would do an astrology chart, I would prep for at least 2 hours per client.  I would research all their little aspects and basically be prepared to answer any question they might have!  Now, I trust my intuition to take the session in the best direction they need it to go.  And if they ask a highly technical question about an obscure aspect, I may know the answer or I can say let me email you about that.  No problem!  So far people are quite happy with the information I discern from their charts (and their frequency).

I am excited about doing more astrology as of late.  Due to nursing school time requirements, I have only done a few charts in the past year.  However, I am setting up to do 3 or 4 charts in the next few weeks, so that is exciting!

I currently have Chiron transiting across my natal Sun, so I think that is helping my intuition be sharper and easier.  I literally just have to ask about something before I go to sleep and I tend to receive a dream about it.  Or I can occasionally meditate about a question and get an image or a phrase as an answer.  Pretty amazing how far I have come!  My confidence in my intuition is clear and backed up by years of meditating and right motivation.

If it weren’t for nursing school, I think I would be writing a book about Relationship Astrology.  This seems to be one of my areas of specialty.  Although I also do pretty well with Spiritual Astrology for the Natal Chart – psychological and karmic astrology of the birth chart.  Plus I always love Medical Astrology and the Timing aspects – learning the individual’s natal horoscope well and then interpreting how the transiting and progressed planets with affect that individual.  Also quite fun and I love how the process unfolds!  I rarely ever know fully what I am going to say ahead of time.  My intuition guides me successfully most of the time, and thankfully I have had some incredible teachers in the past who have shaped and formed my heart and mind and intuition.

Long story short, I am doing more charts before nursing school gets tough again in January.  Let me know if you are interested in having your chart done!  (a Spiritual Astrology interpretation makes the perfect gift for the holidays!)

Thanks for reading!


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I’m thinking I should specialize in relationship astrology.  Today I chatted with a client for about 40 minutes about his relationship and the back story around it.  That allowed me to tailor my interpretation (although I knew ahead of time some of the major obstacles that the two of them might encounter).  The crux of the matter was a fundamental tension aspect between calculating, cranial, rational Aquarius and luscious, romantic, touchy-feely Taurus.

I must say I’m pretty darned good at relationship astrology.  About a third of all my clients are coming to me because of relationship questions.  But I left feeling like I had learned a good deal as well.  It is almost as if the wisdom I share is not entirely my own.  Perhaps I am channeling some of it.

Playing with nuance and carefully crafting the right phrases to describe what I am hearing and seeing is an art.  And when I get to learn something in there as well, so much the better!

I am very grateful to all my readers and clients out there.  Let me know if you have a relationship astrology question for me.


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This material is copyrighted by M. Kirby Moore.  Reproduction without permission is prohibited.  If you would like to support Kirby’s blogging (and living) efforts, you can purchase Astrology interpretations and bodywork treatments at  Thank you for visiting!  Another easy way to support Kirby’s blog is to click on the ads – you don’t have to watch much of them, but every click helps.

In this post, I am going to start revealing some secrets of professional astrologers.  For the record, I want to point out that while I am a professional, I am not THE expert and I am still learning as I go.  I do love seeing the various manifestations of Astrological aspects across many different people (and clients!).

Why this topic?  Because it is a vital part of Relationship Astrology and that is what I have been posting about off and on recently, possibly with more to come.

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This post will be almost entirely about the Natal Chart – what are the “Marriage” Aspects in one’s own individual chart?  I will post about potential “Marriage” Aspects in Relationship Astrology charts later.  By the way, I have “Marriage” in quotes because not everyone chooses to marry their partner.  So you could say these are primary intimate possibly serious romantic partnering aspects – and ideally, who do we want to marry – our best friend, our inspirer, our coach, our peer, our cheering on and cheering up person.  So let’s just say it is complicated – many people get married for various reasons, but if those reasons are not covered here, then maybe I believe there are gradations of positivity along the reasons-for-getting-hitched spectrum.  How ’bout that?

What is “The Classic Marriage Aspect?”  Honestly I don’t know if this exists, but if I personally had to choose, I have read over and over and seen in several of my clients’ charts that when Progressed Venus crosses the Midpoint of the Natal Sun and Moon in the Progressed (to Natal) chart, then you would have to work really hard to avoid meeting a high-quality partner, possible even a soul-mate.  I guess if you were in a solitary three-year retreat, you might avoid it, but even then this partner might come to the monastery where you are practicing, so you would have been in close proximity even if you did not actually meet (at that time).  And I should point out that if you are already happily married, and your partner also feels the same way, then having this aspect come about may be about improving your present marriage rather than meeting someone new – but you never know.  Best to be sure about who and what your heart wants and be certain how committed you (and your partner) are to the relationship.

Spiritual Astrology Special

One Hour Astrology Interpretation. Get your Astrological birth chart interpreted from a Spiritual / Karmic / Evolutionary perspective. You name the topic (area of the chart) and we can dive in - these are some possible areas to look at: Timing Astrology, Relationship Astrology, Medical Astrology, Natal Astrology, Psychological Astrology. Thank you!


What is another popular marriage aspect?  Look at the Ascendant!  It is one of the two major relationship lines in the chart – the other being the opposite of the same – the Descendant (the 7th house cusp line).  Fresh starts, new beginnings and re-births occurs when major planets transit or progress over the Ascendant.  Therefore Transiting Jupiter can indicate a new positive relationship in your life, maybe not marriage per se; but probably the best partner you have attracted to yourself up to that point.  If Progressed Venus crosses the Natal Ascendant (it will be there at least a year or two because of its slower movement), then that will be a very fortunate and possibly “fated” time as far as relationships go.  Keep in mind this is the 11th or 12th house Venus progressing out of the shadows and into visible life – your attractions and enjoyment and generosity of the heart will be more palpable and certainly more visible.

Are there more favorable “Marriage” aspects?  Yes, but I do want this to be a teaser – no use revealing all our secrets at one time, now is there?  🙂    So what I will say is this.  Relationship Astrology is complicated and complex – knowing the ruler of your 5th, 7th and 11th houses is also important.  Then seeing what aspects those planets make in your Natal Chart can show who and what you are attracted to and why.  Next, you can see what planets are making Transiting aspects to the rulers of those houses and then you will see relationship juices start flowing (inner, mental, etc).  Also there will most certainly be changes if Transiting Pluto, Uranus and even Neptune aspect those planets.

Comprehensive Natal Chart Interpretation

Kirby will spend 90 minutes interpreting your Natal Birth chart. You can chat about any area that you like. This includes printed charts and it also includes about 30 minutes of preparation time! These are typically done on the phone, via Skype or in person if you happen to be in Virginia, USA.


This is why it is important to have your chart done by a professional Astrologer at least once a year (approximately).  We all have blind spots – meaning, even if we are the most discerning person on the planet, there is probably a good chance we still want our life and our world to be a little different than the way it is.  In other words, our expectations, hopes and dreams can blind us to the precise reality of our present situation and that is why we need support, we need good coaches and we especially need an outside, objective perspective on our charts and our lives.

So go out and get your chart done professionally.  If you have relationship questions, just know that this is a very complicated “science.”  Therefore if you expect a 2-second glance at your Natal chart to reveal everything about “Am I meant to be married?”  “When will it happen?”  “To whom?”  Then you have a surprise coming!  Rather it takes a qualified astrologer at least several minutes with each chart – the Natal Chart, the Transit Chart, the Progressed Chart AND the Synastry Chart and Composite Chart.  It takes a lot of time and energy to prepare a solid Astrology Interpretation and then to give it in an inspiring, skillful manner.  Hence the reason we Astrologers need to charge for our services.

Stepping off my platform now…  Thank you for reading!

By the way, I offer phone sessions (and In-Person) interpretations.  Contact me for rates and services offered.  Obviously, Relationship Astrology is one of my speciaties.  Email is kirby [at] mkirbymoore [dot] com

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This post is about the practice of Relationship Astrology and because I personally know Western Tropical Zodiac Astrology, that is the perspective I am coming from.  I am writing this post because I want to state my opinion about oversimplification of Western Astrology, specifically around the technique of Relationship Astrology and the problems with doing so.

Who has read websites or books that state “You are an Aries Woman so you fit well with X, Y and maybe Z men (or partners).”  Or to get into the Natal Horoscope a little more, there are always those recipe websites which say something like, “Oh your Saturn squares X’s Neptune so that is going to equal a betrayal of trust at some point [or substitute your own rigid interpretation here].” 🙂

When you read either of these sentences what goes through your mind?  Is Astrology really a one size fits all modality?  No, I don’t think so.

I want to introduce two things in this post: first the idea of frequency-based astrology and second, upon discovering the merits of frequency-based astrology, then we must go deeper into the charts and also go deeper into the client’s history.  In the next post I will expound upon what is Relationship Astrology and how do we practice it appropriately.

First, frequency-based astrology.  What is it?  This is where we realize that due to varying karmic predispositions and backgrounds, we could have a similar chart to someone else and be having a completely different set of experiences and situations in life.  Sometimes you will find really great people with difficult charts – take Mohandas Gandhi for example – he had a challenging (to say the least) T-Square in the Fixed signs.  He had Pluto conjunct Jupiter in Taurus, opposite Mars and Venus in Scorpio with his Moon in Leo completing the squares.  So due to the Fixity of his personality, once he established a belief, he stuck with it to the end.  But he accomplished incredible results in spite of the strong Polarity in his chart.  And of course with these extraordinary energies at work in his chart, to say he would be without idiosyncrasies would be a big mistake – because he certainly had a number.  To make certain it is clear that I have analyzed his chart more in depth, he did have a Grand Trine in Fire signs (Saturn, Neptune, Moon meaning he could make his dreams a reality especially with the utmost perseverance from those Fixed planets mentioned above).

Nonetheless, you can easily find people with planets in a Fixed T-Square who have chosen to be criminals or who have chosen to continue having a victim-identity or another form of listless less-than-productive life (and productivity can take many forms, so know your capacity first and foremost before you take my words too seriously).  And we can find many people with Grand Trines who just coast through life, evading challenges and responsibility.  I personally know people with intense Fixed oppositions who manifest that incredibly overpowering energy with mild to severe mental health issues – maybe a personality disorder as some complex traumas have forced the individual to completely blank out a specific sphere of their lives.  And yet, they may still accomplish a great deal of positive benefit for the world!

I want to be clear – having a Fixed opposition in your chart is not bad.  In fact, I am a firm believer in the fact that we must have some difficult aspects in our charts to get anything accomplished in this lifetime.  I have seen so many people with a double Grand Trine bouncing from activity to activity, rarely focusing and getting down to mastering anything.  You must read and interpret your entire chart.  We all have Fixed signs in our charts.  You have to take your whole chart into consideration and be able to understand the intricacies of the signs, houses and aspects.  Then we can make a judgement about our capacity – and we must also take the next step and take responsibility for our lives.  No blaming our situation on our charts, no saying, “Oh, I’m a triple Pisces so I didn’t have a choice in the matter!”

So how do we know what someone will do with the energy of their astrology chart?  We have to do a little interview – what is their history like?  Do they meditate?  Do they like to do yoga?  If they do yoga, do they use yoga class as a competition or feather-in-their-cap type of dynamic?  Or are they legitimately working to deepen their yoga practice in a way that is truly kind and compassionate to themselves?  We can get a sense of where someone is at just from their voice on the phone – are they embodied?  Are they timid or confident or apathetic, etc.  But generally we need to have a little bit of information about where someone is one their path – whether it is mundane, spiritual, agnostic, whatever.  When someone comes to you asking exclusively when they will get their next BMW, there is probably very little point in telling them about the subtleties of advanced meditation (provided you might know something about the topic and know when it is appropriate to share this information with others) – although I do know a couple of exceptions to even this rule!

There are many spectrums of life – spiritual, material, social, movement / rigidity / flow, aesthetic, etc.  We need to find out what the client wants to know and then discover where they are on those spectrums.

Then we will have a sense of the frequency of the individual behind the energy of the chart.  Why is this important for Relationship Astrology?  What could be more pivotal?!?!  If you have two charts that look pretty good, but then you meet the individuals and he is a yogi who has completed ten years of successful solitary meditation retreat and she is a hardcore Jehovah’s Witness…  Just saying!  Not that this relationship is a guaranteed failure.  But the astrologer would have to search pretty deeply to find out where their interests intersect.

In the next section, I am going to elaborate upon Relationship Astrology and its ingredients: the idea of Natal Chart interpretation for Relationship needs, wants, capacity; Chart Synastry – comparing two Natal Charts; and introduce the notion of Composite Charts.

Thank you for reading.

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