Posts Tagged ‘zapchen somatics’

If you want to see what Kirby offers as far as bodywork (in person or distant sessions) or for Astrology, visit Enjoy your visit!

Another name for this post might be “Men Out There, Time to Shape Up.” If I slapped this title on it however, I would be wronging the 15-20% of heterosexual men out there who are in touch with their masculinity, their emotions, their showing up, their self expression, their professional life and their sex drive. Okay – having all of these clear and apparent might be asking a lot… but I know a number of men who have most if not all of these going on! And fortunately our numbers are growing more every day!

I live in a town where conscious, creative, evolved, dynamic, beautiful women are everywhere. (Seriously, if you are a dynamic, evolved male and you are looking for one of these women, come check out Charlottesville Virginia…) And therefore they are searching for their male counterparts to share life with. As a man who is in touch with my feminine side, yet who enjoys embodying my yang traits, this leads to a bunch of interesting conversations. One woman (who is happily married) said, “Kirby, in this town, you are like ice cream.” Meaning I have most of those qualities I named above – and I have done a ton of personal growth work on myself, so emotional expression is often not too difficult (for me).

Here is what I have learned from various teachers or my own experience about ideal relationship traits: first, know yourself. If you don’t know who you are, how can you possibly know what you want out of life or out of a relationship? How do you get to know who you are better? Work with a competent astrologer – Western or Vedic, work with a therapist, work with an acupuncturist, work with a certified life coach, etc.

Second, do your own personal growth work. If you don’t work on yourself, you will constantly bump into reflections of your own blind spots (and constantly blame the world or the other person or …). Along with the list I named above, develop a regular yoga practice, or learn from a meditation teacher (as in start meditating), start a daily Qigong practice (just 20 minutes a day will start to make a difference), etc. Improve yourself and then you will start to manifest and attract a similar frequency partner to yourself.

Third, write down qualities and traits that you want in a partner. My aunt claims that she manifested her amazing husband – a great cook, a lover of fine wine, incredible gardener, French and Italian speaking (yet American) doctor – my uncle – using this technique. She wrote down about 25 qualities that she had to have in a partner – and he met all but one of them!

This technique also worked for me. But in the opposite way. There is an exercise out there called Dream Partner / Nightmare Partner. I used this exercise (which asks questions about 24 areas of life) to separate from a woman with whom I had a slightly-functional-barely-healthy relationship with. I picked up the paper to work on it 6 months before we broke up, but I couldn’t go forward because I knew it would force me to analyze some painful facts. So by the time I finished the exercise, in my mind, we were done. And it was the right time.

And now I have an incredibly inspiring, creative, dynamic, professional, graceful, funny, beautiful, loving partner in my life! Actually, back in May of 2018, I moved onto her street without knowing it… and then in June I started working at the same spa as she did. So by the time we started going out to lunch in August, we had a bunch in common right off the bat!

Ideally, in a relationship, we want to have all three Energy Centers in connection with our partner: Head, Heart and Pelvis. We want to be able to have intellectual rapport with them. We want to be able to have love and kindness come through our facial expressions, our eyes, our touch. And of course we want to be able to stand on our own two feet and express our needs in the relationship as well. And if the partnership is to be romantic, then we must have that healthy yearned for pelvic connection!

I think a lot of people get away with having two of these qualities – maybe Head and Pelvis – intellectual rapport, sexual chemistry, but not much in the way of emotional tenderness. Rarely Heart and Pelvis might work – but then it would be hard to talk about any non-emotional, verbal topic without differing significantly. And I think many friends have Head and Heart going on – maybe there is zero physical attraction or maybe they just don’t act on it (for whatever reason).

I talk about all of these things and more when I do Relationship Astrology for a client. Whether you want to discuss your own chart and the what’s and where-for’s about your own personal relating, or if you provide me with your partner’s birth info as well. I love working with Relationship topics! Let me know if this interests you.

I work with Zapchen somatics and Somatic Experiencing – tools for coming down out of the head and into the Heart, into the Pelvis, into the body. And when I do sessions whether in person or long distance, I include these individualized techniques for moving toward graceful emobodiment and clarity.

Don’t settle in relationships! I know so many people who are not happy and yet they stay put – usually for good reason – like not wanting to have their kids endure a divorce, or for cultural reasons (“where else would I find a good Lebanese man at this stage of my life?” – I actually heard someone say this), etc. I know so many young women in their 20’s who are really not fundamentally happy, and yet they are talking about marrying their boyfriends. Huh?! Don’t set yourself up for failure…

Maybe they don’t know who they are though. Maybe they hear the cultural voice saying, “Well he is fairly nice to me, so he must be a good man.” But will he make a good long-term partner? Is he working to improve himself? Does he yearn to heal his own emotional blind spots?

I do love seeing a multitude of unusual relationships out there though, that work! Some people live together in a tiny house, some people sleep in separate rooms, some people give their partner a tattoo or die their partner’s hair. Some live separately and claim to be really happy that way. Others have a strict agreement about which days they want time to themselves. And all of these things work! And I have hope that all the weirdo’s out there like me are finding suitable partners! 🙂

Thanks for reading!

Kirby Moore

Konchog Chakchen


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This material is copyrighted by M Kirby Moore. Reproduction without permission is prohibited. Thank you for visiting! You can visit to see what Kirby offers as far as Bodywork or Spiritual Astrology interpretations.

This post is about how the contours of harshness in our society / culture / family structures are pernicious and pervasive. You can find them everywhere. They even, or especially, come forward when we are looking to relax and move toward restful states of being.

What do I mean by contours of harshness? Think about all the euphemisms there are for working hard. “The only way to move forward is to push through.” Or “No pain, no gain.” Or “Gotta muscle through.” Or “No risk, no reward.” Or “The early bird gets the worm.” Our culture is chock full of these statements which reflect the rat race culture we live in.

I teach Zapchen Somatics – a system of simple exercises for getting back to well-being. There are basic moves for well-being, intermediate moves and advanced moves to well-being. But when I teach these to people (just the basics), I am shocked to discover that they try to push further and do more and more. Or they are most concerned with “doing it right,” rather than enjoying the new sensations or attempting something new in spite of possible “mistakes.” It really requires telling them several times, it truly is a somatic transmission – that sometimes requires hearing it / experiencing it several times.

I have to tell them, less is more. I must emphasize that. Seriously, just doing two or three of the intermediate or advanced techniques is enough. The I Ching, at least the interpretation I work with, also by the founder of Zapchen Somatics – Julie Henderson PhD, says, “better to stick with fullness, some people will encourage you to move to over-flowing, but fullness is just fine.”

And honestly… I feel myself speeding up just writing about this topic… time to create some space… to slow things down… to take some deep breaths… look out at nature… think of people who really support me and make me feel nourished…

This is a culture of extremes and pushing the envelope. If a little bit is good, then more must be better! Nope! The nervous system can only digest so much new information. And somatic information is often novel for most people. It needs to be enjoyable. If it seems like work, we are recapitulating the old patterns. Only do enough for it to be enjoyable. Even if that means I yawn twice and then have to take a nap – perfect!

Each month, I am realizing more and more how Zapchen is a somatic transmission. Being kind to yourself is a somatic transmission. We must work with someone who has done this work themselves. Someone who has spent years practicing compassion with themselves! Then we can get the somatic transmission from them. 🙂

And let me be exacting in my assessment of my own patterns, while on this complicated topic. I am seeing some contours of harshness creep in, even following me to my meditation cushion. When I don’t do “X” number of mantras in a day, I might get a little hard on myself. If I don’t do “X” prostrations daily or every other day, again a little harshness.

I am noticing though that the amount of screen time I log correlates to the amount of buoyancy in my nervous system. The more time I sit out on my porch staring at, listening to the song of the river, the more resiliency there is in my CNS. The more I walk down by its gentle gurgling rapids, the more resources are at my beck and call. It is very subtle, but I am starting to pick up on these things (as I sit here at my computer typing away…).

Therefore I am intending to take 7 – 10 days away from miscellaneous screen time (no youtube, no prime video, no sports highlights, etc) and do an hour of Zapchen to start my day. Zapchen Somatics is almost exclusively designed to playfully, sneakily and gently eradicate harshness to self. Of course it has other benefits, but it is very difficult to be hard on yourself when you are lying in bed yawning (yawning is the first Zapchen exercise and it is extremely beneficial). At least at my stage, having been practicing Zapchen since 2005, and having some transmissions directly from Julie Henderson herself, I am going to be gentle on myself at least with some of its wonderful methods.

Hopefully this feeds me, moves me toward kind motivations, gentle intentions and softer concentration. 🙂

May all beings move toward enjoyment, ease-full abundance and having settled nervous systems which laugh at the mistakes we make because we are human! ❤

Thank you for reading!


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I just completed a weekend of working with a medicine woman here at Massage School. We started chatting about what I offer… and the list started growing long (not to brag or boast – I have been learning bodywork since 2003 – simply what is).

She has taken several levels of BodyTalk – a modality where we muscle test to see what is the priority for the client. It is a comprehensive and complex modality. I have only taken the first level – BodyTalk Access which was insightful and where I learned some beneficial techniques! Plus I have been fortunate enough to receive at least several dozen BodyTalk sessions from exchanging with a friend who has taken all the Advanced Courses in it. Therefore I feel like I have some knowledge of the protocol and the muscle testing for what is a priority.

I mention all that because I am now working on a protocol for a Kirby’s Modality BodyTalk style protocol. It is pretty crazy all that I can offer – especially with the half dozen or more modalities I am learning here in Massage School!

Oh – and I told the medicine woman about my conversation with my Tibetan Lama, Khenchen Konchog Gyaltsen – a clairvoyant and exceptionally clear and lucid spiritual teacher. When my main bodywork teacher, Janet Evergreen, asked him about what she should call all that she does, he didn’t miss a beat saying, “Process Buddhism.” Now I pretty much offer most of what Janet does (having studied with her since 2005), so the medicine woman here said that I better add “Process Buddhism” to my protocol! 🙂

In case you are wondering, here is my list so far of what I offer: 5-Elements (Chinese Medicine basics), Craniosacral Therapy, Polyvagal Work, Pre- and Perinatal Therapy (and Education), Visceral Manipulation, other Process-oriented Bodywork, BodyTalk Access techniques, Zapchen Somatics, Kundalini Yoga Kriya, Chi Kung advice, Tai Chi basics, Acupressure, Swedish Massage, Hot Stones Integrated Treatment, Herbal Wrap, Shiatsu, Reflexology, Working with Essential Oils, Buddha-Dharma teachings (I am only able to share the basics but this is enough for most clients), Spiritual Astrology, Medical Astrology, Non-Violent Communication, Conflict Resolution Techniques, Process Buddhism would  fall under several other categories.

It looks like I definitely need to narrow this down! Or at least find an efficient way to muscle test and get a category pretty quickly. I might need to delete several items off my list.. time will tell!

I will keep working on this when I have time (we have 3 tests this week and we are preparing to teach Kundalini Yoga – not as a yoga teacher, just as a check mark to make certain we understand K. Yoga).

Thank you for reading!

Have a beautiful Spring day / evening,



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This material is copyrighted by M. Kirby Moore. Reproduction without permission is prohibited.

This post is a continuation of a descriptive piece from mid-March when I taught a class on relaxation and stress-relief to seniors. I’d recommend scrolling down and reading Part I through III to get some background info.

I want to start out by saying that I mentioned those first two Zapchen exercises only, and I want to stress this word, ONLY because we all know how to Yawn and Nap. There are some exercises which Julie Henderson came up with which inspire embodied awareness and increase potency, but if these techniques are not natural to us, then I’m not going to mention them.

In other words, there are some playful, fun techniques for coming down out of the head and resting deeper in embodied sensation and presence. Some of these exercises we learned as children, and then we have spent how many years as adults un-learning them! Well Zapchen includes a few such exercises to remind us what it is to be fully human – in touch with a light, loving heart, a potent, full pelvis and a clear, wise mind. Zapchen also includes some new techniques which we have had very little exposure to, let alone tried to do them ourselves. Maybe you could call these Zapchen Yoga, although I think it is all Zapchen Yoga.

Therefore, I am not going to mention the third exercise that we did. Oh, the suspense! Well, you will have to come see me for a session to find out. 🙂 I will skip instead to the fourth technique that we did, as this inspired the most laughs and humor anyway. So hopefully this is remotely entertaining:

The fourth exercise we did is called, “Funny Talk.” It has serious somatic effects on the body, so please, only try this at home if you have some time and patience on your hands, not to mention a talking buddy who is open and ready to let go 🙂

When we do Funny Talk, we put the tongue behind the lower teeth, touching them and then allow the tongue to fill the base of the mouth.  Yes, then you talk. It should sound funny, or at least not at all serious. Honestly, who can take themselves seriously when they are talking like this? Oh, and I should stress that there are researched, profound relaxation effects of doing this AND the exercise is by NO means a method used to mock anyone. If it is, then it is not Zapchen.

Well imagine doing this exercise with seniors, I guess who range in age from 65 to 80? Not sure about this though – they had gotten all dressed up as they wanted to look good for the class (apparently, I was told later). It was very precious. But I digress, yes, imagine doing Funny Talk with 12 seniors, the majority of whom have dentures… Here are some snippets from the class, and again, I am merely trying to be a reporter, not mocking anyone! Because one day, relatively soon, if I make it that far, I will be old too.

The woman next to me tried it and then exclaimed, “Oh my, I might push my bridge work out.”

Soon, a few seats down, a lady commented, “I would use my teeth if I had them in!”

About thirty seconds later, the retired beautician (with the hearing aids) exclaims, as if just registering the previous conversation, “I can’t push my teeth out – they are glued!”

A few minutes go by as I check in with other students, with a hushed conversation happening across the circle of chairs, and the beautician again, exclaims with a loud word amidst the whispers, “Polydent!”

We all burst out laughing, including her. I can feel parts of my skull and brain literally re-orienting as the laughter and the funny talk and the previous exercises work their “magic.” Then the lady next to me pipes up with,
“You know, this would be a great commercial for Polydent!” I could not agree more. Why hadn’t I recorded this class? 🙂

All in all, I was very happy to have gone down there to lead them. I kind of doubt they were expecting to slow down and practice this radical form of kindness… but they were happy nonetheless. I say this because I was very careful to not talk about coming back (they would have to formally invite me, especially with my not be an official teacher and all). So guess what?

The lady who has the magic touch with plants asked me first, “Will you come back and do this again?”

I asked, again just to be clear, “Is that a request?” Yes!

Oh – I had been asked earlier to keep going after the Funny Talk. One woman was just drinking in the neurological nourishment of these potent exercises and she wanted me to teach more. Nope! I responded, “I need to stick with my teachers’ advice and tell you that Less is Better than More. Please go back over the next few weeks and practice these exercises. Find one you like and stick with that one. Allow it to be fun and easy. Then I can go through some more.”

And then everyone seconded (and thirded, etc) the motion of having me come back. So I discussed it with the woman who originally scheduled me and we have set up a second day, about a month from now. I hope that goes as well or better than this class!

Some very wise words were shared amongst all of us. I learned much more than I taught for certain – don’t read a book by its cover, always be grateful for each breath you take, and value good friends and good company very dearly!

And if you happen to fall asleep in a chair, which is definitely not the norm for you, mutter “Sweet Jesus!” over and over until you feel better about the situation. 🙂

Thanks for reading.

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This material is copyrighted by M. Kirby Moore. Reproduction without permission is prohibited. Thanks for visiting.

This is a continuation of a series of posts. I would suggest you go back (down) and start at least at Part I if not Part Zero.

As I mentioned, I was teaching a group of about 13 seniors techniques to help them relax and let go of stress.

Now it was time for the first exercise. Oh! Sorry to pause right out of the gates here – I must mention that, as with some spiritual practices, Zapchen exercises should be done with a qualified and experienced teacher. I have received transmissions for many of the exercises from Janet Evergreen, a senior teacher in the Zapchen tradition, and from Julie Henderson herself (she is the founder and creator of Zapchen Somatics). Personally, I am neither an expert nor a Zapchen teacher, but I believe Zapchen Somatics to be simple techniques to free ourselves of our habitual patterns of doom and gloom, in a fun, comfortable, playful, easy way.

With that said, it may seem that some of these exercises are “too easy” to work. But when you are with a qualified teacher, similar to other spiritual traditions, the teacher can pass on a transmission of the somato-spiritual state of ease, kindness and potency in their body. If we practice self-care on a regular basis (most humans do or at least want to), then the body can quickly “remember” how to get back to a state of deep, playful relaxation, if it has gone there before. But that is the key – we can only “know” that we have gone down an appropriate path if we are led by an appropriate teacher. If we happen to stumble upon a healthy path, we may forever be full of doubt and uncertainty until we gain confirmation from someone who has been down that path with confidence and clarity.

Having mentioned that you need to receive these teachings from a qualified teacher, I must caution you to not judge these exercises if you try them after reading this, without the presence of a qualified teacher, and they “don’t work.” I know for a fact they work, because in leading this group of seniors, we all dropped into a deeper state of fun openness and I personally moved toward greater inner stillness (internal equanimity), embodied potency and playful awareness. Many of their psychological walls came tumbling down, despite the fact that this was my first time meeting any of them, and the class did not even go for 90 minutes.

With all that said, the first exercise is yawning. There are many incredible health benefits to yawning, but I held off on mentioning these until after we had all yawned five or more times. It took a while to get to five though. Just about everyone was either ashamed to force themselves to yawn, or they could not do it without having it be spontaneous and organic. Well, it seemed I needed to get them started, so I yawned in a rather vocal manner. I have been told that when I yawn like that, that it sounds almost like I am doing warm-ups for voice class. Therefore, even these seniors could not help but hear the yawn.

I should probably mention too, that there is an energetic field around us. One of the participants mentioned that we have auras (I did not want to go here on such an early class) and once it was mentioned by someone else, I ran with that. Hey, if they mention it, obviously there is a reason it is coming up. If I mention it too early though, I could lose people’s attention and possibly their trust! Anyway, I said that I believed that yawning not only has physical effects on us, but as we yawn, we relax parts of our bodies and that this effects the energetic field around us. And I said that by changing (“relaxing”) the energetic field, that is how we “cause” others around us to start yawning. You could argue it is the sight of the yawns doing it, but I would add it is also a change in the field which your body “senses.”

[As an aside, it would be a fascinating experiment to see if you blindfold people and prevent them from hearing anything, and then you have others around them start to yawn, do they do start themselves?  I’m hoping this has already been tried, but if so, I’ve not heard of it yet.]

It was mentioned that several people thought yawning meant you were bored or tired. I knew that might come up, so I talked a little about how I believe that particular cultural mores to be horribly mistaken. When someone who I know yawns around me, I consider it a compliment (they are practicing self-care) or at least I certainly don’t think they are being rude! Yawning opens the throat, palate and TMJ; it produces saliva (helping digestion); yawning lubricates the eyes and has been shown to help with maintaining a healthy balance of serotonin and melatonin, among many other benefits. Therefore we yawned as much as we were able.

Some people covered their mouths as they yawned, as the cultural beliefs tended to be deeply ingrained! But eventually, nearly everyone yawned at least five times. Then we napped. Napping, if you have not figured it out yet, is one of the most important exercises you can possibly do (yes perhaps even more beneficial than yawning). There is evidence that napping, just for five to seven minutes, is very helpful for learning, for better efficiency and brain functioning.

My only regret from this class is that not enough people lay down to nap. And by not laying down, their bodies were still holding a little bit of tension and exerting a little effort to keep them in the seated position. In other words, by not laying down, they were not capable of letting go completely. There were several of us who did lay down, and by doing so, we were not tempted to start whispering. Eventually though, some whispering started among the seated people. The discursive mind can be so distracting – when we are not used to just letting go, we tend to revert back to previous patterns, which in this case were to chat and whisper. I did hear someone start after briefly falling asleep (while seated), and the phrase, “Sweet Jesus!” was muttered several times.

So we did yawning and napping to open the class. Actually, by discussing my ground rules, and then mentioning how it was my intention to rest down just a little bit more, and to practice just a touch more kindness to yourself (and therefore to others), it took 45 minutes to get through the introduction, the yawning and the napping. Therefore, I was not wordy for the next two exercises.

I will continue this stream in the next post. It should be complete within a few days. Thanks for visiting!

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This material is copyrighted by M. Kirby Moore. Reproduction without permission is prohibited. Thanks for reading and please leave comments.

After having worked like my life desperately depended on it for the past five weeks or so, I finally had an afternoon to rest down among supportive Dharma-practitioner friends (spiritual friends) in one of the most potent and juicy environments – at an annual winter retreat.

I have been feeling burnt out (already) at work and needing a break, so this breather was so very refreshing. I wrote down a little about the shift from “computer-game-mind” to returning to a community with heart.

Settling down.
a few minutes pass…
noticing a baseline of anxiety and a rapid heart beat – is this usual? ugh I hope not!

luckily I arrived for the afternoon Zapchen session (see below about Zapchen), and of course my friends, having had three days under their belts, were diving in deep. Today is advanced techniques, which thankfully I have already done in numerous previous retreats. However, my body was in curiously rough shape…

But it only took an hour.

With yawning, sighing, resting down, I began to notice how tight certain parts of my body were – shoulders, lungs, pericardium and surrounding heart areas and once I became very aware of subtleties, I noticed that even the lining around my brain was contracted and it did not have any ideas about when it would be letting up…

the icy grip of computer-game-mind was showing its effects. With time, and with juicy guidance from a qualified Zapchen teacher, I began to allow the sunny potency of trust and self-love to penetrate the tight regions between and within cranial bones…

at first I thought it might take days or weeks to unlock the many frozen layers of fascia and dura mater within cranium, chest, but with awareness, and being gentle yet firm, I found myself being able to smile with slightly more ease…

Wow! Then the comment, “Make little kissy movements around the top of your crown…” I did not know how to do that. Followed by the awesome comment: “the juiciest moment is when you notice that your brain notices that it’s just been kissed!” Whoa… I could chew on that exercise and resulting subtle awareness for a long time!

So, with humming, with awareness and with breath and sound, I repair and re-member numerous layers of tissue today…

First I recollected all my scattered bits and pieces, then I set a clear potent intention, and then I rested in alignment once I got there…
“Gee! That’s different! And at this point, different is very good!”

So now, when I notice contraction setting in. Which direction will I choose? I need to make a daily, system-wide announcement that all the various (different aged) parts of myself are loved! Good good.

Happy New Year All! May all beings know a happy and healthy New Year, free from suffering and dissatisfaction and its causes.

Zapchen Somatics are a system of simple, potent exercises, techniques and games which lead human beings to rest down into their bodies, to be in alignment with ease and to be more self-loving and playful. All to the good really. Zapchen was created by Julie Henderson, Ph.D.

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a post arising from a recent retreat, about authentic kindness

Recently, I came out of a short six day retreat, but I felt like I had been accelerated very rapidly (shot out of a whirling sling to be exact) down my psycho-spiritual path. Prior to retreat, I had been lallygagging along, not really doing much practice or much in the way of deepening subtle awareness…

However, in retreat, we did silent meditation, Zapchen Somatics – taking meditation and awareness into the body through playful skillful exercises, and we also did dream acting / playing / sharing. I found this last piece to be the most potent. And I actually got to work / play with one of my dreams twice – we were a small group. It was so fascinating how one little section of one dream could reveal so much, and I’m sure I could keep working with that little tiny scene for days and days! Wow!

One result from doing this internal work with my shadow material was that I grabbed hold of my power. Technically, this potency that I found was not somewhere else, it was within me, but I accepted it, I became it, I embraced it. My voice also deepened a bit and definitely became more resonant. Once I stood in the place of my terrifying shadow, and got to say words as SHADOW and be its mysterious potency, I felt much clearer about how my fear of shadowy places is just a misunderstanding. It was a fear of the unknown, but it was not an appropriate fear. Prior to retreat, I had been reading many little quotes about stepping off the edge of a precipice into the unknown abyss. Well… That is what I needed to do! And luckily I had the resources around me to assist me with the process! And I did it.

So the reason for the title of this post is that I received bodywork a few days ago, which was a few days after retreat, and at the end of the session, I felt entirely embodied and empowered – at least as much as I had felt up to that point in my life. I was asked what I wanted to take away from the session, to take with me as I left the healing space. Taking a few seconds to become clear, I did not hesitate in saying, “I am practicing a new flavor of potent kindness.” This was pretty revolutionary for me, here’s why:

In Zapchen Somatics, Julie Henderson, the creator, says that there are three main centers in the body. The head, the heart and the pelvis each represent one aspect of enlightened mind – the head is clarity, the heart is kindness and the pelvis contains potency. She says that without authentically being in all three centers, we cannot practice the full version of any one quality (clarity, kindness or potency). What this means is that, to practice “kindness” without being clear, is foolish. To practice “kindness” without being in touch with our inner potency, is foolish. So I am referring to a wise kindness that is informed by both true clarity and authentic, embodied potency.

Side Note *** Please keep in the mind that to come into all three bodily centers can take years, seriously – for most people who live busy hectic lives, sustaining their families and social connections, doing this work can take decades. Therefore, if you are one of the billions of people who are cut off from one or two of these centers, don’t fret. Know that it is possible to come down into your body eventually, and when you do, it will be an incredible sense of liberation and ease. But until that time, do be kind and gentle with yourself and your process. End side note.

Therefore, when I say that I am practicing a new flavor of potent kindness, it is coming from the realization that previously, I did not practice authentic kindness. Because in the past I was definitely cut off from my pelvis. This is ultimately due to my karma, so it is no one’s fault but my own, however the way I could tell I was cut off from my pelvis was because of difficultly breathing really deep belly breaths, and because I had had some surgeries around my pelvis, and because I had birth trauma to work through, and… huff huff puff puff! 🙂 due to my conditioning – I don’t think either of my parents are ever in all three of their centers, so how could I have known that it was okay to fully embody them myself? Nope – not safe around them! And if my mirror neurons learned to cut off my pelvis from a young young age, how could I have known anything different?

So why do I say that I was not practicing authentic kindness previously? Because by being cut off from my pelvis and my potency, I was cut off from my creative, appropriately-self-oriented juices. By being in my head, as most Westerners are, and by occasionally drifting down into my heart, I was always “kind” and “sweet” and “well-loved.” Seriously?! No thank you! I am a man damn it! If 99% of the people I meet love me, that is actually a PROBLEM. It means that I was a big time pleaser, placator, push over, shape shifter and that I sacrificed my needs to take care of others’ needs. Again, I want to say a big, “No Thank You!!” to those energies and wish them well as I have separated from them. They served me well for 28 years and now it is time to wear my authentic power and potency all the time.

Therefore, I would recommend that you analyze your life, analyze your relationships, reflect on the way you react to certain people. Does everyone you meet love you? Do you bend over backwards for one type of personality or gender? Are you aggressive and hyper-competitive, meaning most everyone you meet does not love you? Do you feel cut off from your pelvis? Do you have sexual inhibitions or difficulty letting go and fully experiencing personal pleasure? If you can answer yes to any of these questions on a regular basis, then it means you are not entirely embodied yet, but don’t worry, you have lots of company 🙂

And yes, the rare individual can be in their heart only and neglect their head and pelvis, and there might be the rare individual who is in their pelvis, but neglect their hearts and heads (meaning they would be seriously driven, selfish, sexually motivated and have very little capacity for empathy, rationality and altruism). So it is good to determine where you are on this spectrum. But simply notice it – do not judge it. We are where we are for a reason. And we should start where we are. Don’t worry, don’t fret, just take a deep breath and try to relax, knowing that if you got this far through this blog post, then it means you most likely can embody fully with some work, with some effort and under the guidance of a qualified teacher. And most importantly, be gentle.

Our body tends to respond easier and more swiftly to kind actions and thoughts versus those contraction-creating methods in which we beat ourselves up. For me, I came to this little tiny, insignificant clarity/kindness/potency realization within seven years of cultivating deeper embodiment and intensely striving to gently pulse through the frozen tissue within. Now don’t get me wrong, I still have tons of work to do! I have just glimpsed what is possible and I still have years to go to stabilize this level of empowered embodiment! And I am human, meaning I make mistakes, I stick my feet in my mouth and I am very rough around the edges at times! So I have lots to do, lots to refine and luckily I have quality heart teachers to continue leading me down appropriate and authentic paths.

May sentient beings be blessed with auspicious circumstances and insights.

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