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Posts Tagged ‘craniosacral therapy’

This material is copyrighted by M. Kirby Moore. Reproduction without permission is prohibited. Thank you for respecting my creative property! And I’m very grateful to have you visiting this blog! You can visit Kirby’s site here:¬†Wisdom Healing Arts website

I’m not attempting to brag or boast here, but when you put the causes and conditions into place, the results typically follow. And this can be true for conducting powerful healing work as well – when we work on ourselves, learn multiple techniques and modalities which lead to actual, lasting transformation, then it would follow that we could produce powerful healing sessions when we work with others.

And this is starting to happen with me. I won’t say too much, as it is my intention to walk the fine line between being modest and looking to promote my work.

I have been practicing Craniosacral Therapy since 2005, Polyvagal Therapy since 2012, Birth Process work since 2013 and other modalities as well – including Acupressure, Shiatsu, and a potent and effective Hot Stone massage treatment. Oh and I am starting to learn Sports Massage along with a number of other massage techniques.

But it might be time to specialize. And I know upon what I want to focus!

This might be a good time to take a few mindful, rejuvenating deep breaths… as I’m about to plunge into heavier waters.

This is what it all boils down to (hear me out: subtext read to the bottom of the post): when we have unmet needs, early conflicts (double binds) and unresolved psychological wounds, then we have shadow material. This makes sense – nearly everyone has some unresolved stuff – meaning everyone has shadow material. This can show up as blind spots, uncomfortable subjects, or meeting people who really hook and irritate us just by being themselves, certain emotions being very difficult to express, etc.

With this shadow material comes a lot of psychic energy required to keep it contained. Most of us want to appear normal, we want to assure our friends and family that everything is fine. So we become extremely skilled at containing, deflecting or suppressing our shadow material. And this requires large amounts of psychic energy! Huge resources are going into the darker nether regions of our psyche to keep our fears, terrors and even misunderstandings at bay. (Some of those fears though may just be illusions or confusions – they might be easier to remedy than you think!) Hence is it is easier to contain and deal with our subconscious underworld when we are younger – we have more psychic energy in our 20’s than we do in our 40’s!

As we get older however, these reservoirs of psychic energy start to decline. And then the compensation for our shadow material becomes harder and harder. Some of it starts to bleed over into our daily conscious lives – maybe we become more irritable without meaning to, maybe our anxiety is now impossible to hide, maybe we start having nightmare problems, perhaps we stick our foot in our mouths with more regularity – we become more raw, etc. And this is why many diseases start to show up around age 40 – especially those funny idiopathic diseases that the medical community cannot pinpoint the cause of. Can you image a Western doctor saying, “Oh your royal chi is declining which is allowing your skeletons out of the closet. That’s why you are sick…” That’d go over well! I can say more about this at another time – or better yet, sign up for one of my classes or webinars.

Kathy Kain – one of my teachers of Polyvagal therapy – says about the above topic: “moving toward equilibrium, it becomes easier to sustain healthy self-regulation… energy is no longer spent maintaining disequilibrium which allows us to focus on [healthy] other functions.” ~in her paper entitled Touching Trauma.

The healing facilitation work that I offer looks to gradually get to the root of the problem. And therefore this is slow patience-requiring work. But by going slower, we get to our destination faster (truly transforming suffering and getting to the root cause of illness). Do not expect instant results – you wouldn’t want that anyway (can you imagine a nervous system that took 40 years to get to where it is now, to shift radically in two weeks? No? I can’t either…) ūüôā But after 5, 7 or 10 treatments, you will definitely notice lasting results, greater insights and liberated shadow material. See the last few paragraphs!

We work with psychological double binds from the early pre-verbal stage of life, where we are literally building a body around whatever we encounter (if we are born in a tension field, then it would make sense that we take that tension into our bodies and get fooled into thinking that that is the only choice we have!! Ouch!). This is extremely powerful work. It is not for everyone. But someone who wants to do their healing work, who wants to transform for the better, who is willing to be uncomfortable for a few days while their body starts to transform (we can literally re-orient our brains and nervous systems by doing this work).

We walk the fine line between healthy self-regulation and activation as we repattern it – Ray Castellino, a pioneer in the Pre- and Perinatal Psychology and Trauma resolution fields and founder of BEBA – building and enhancing bonding and attachment, calls this fine line, the Leading Edge – where we stretch ourselves as we build resiliency and restore healthy responses to stress.

You have to have good support. That is pre-requisite. Asking for help is one of the traits of a grown up. As a healing facilitator I want to be part of your health team – I want to be one of several people supporting you (I don’t want to do it alone). I will ask you about the support in your life – friends, family but more importantly counselors, health care providers, people you can really go to with your issues and be heard.

The benefits of liberating this shadow material are immense. When you were conceived, there was an initial blueprint of who you are / were meant to be. But then various imprints (misunderstandings, unmet needs, unresolved wounds) covered that up – obscured your highest potential. This work seeks to reconnect you to your original blueprint, gradually. By liberating your shadow material, you also simultaneously liberate the psychic energy that was required to keep it tamped down, suppressed, contained. And guess what? When you have all this psychic energy freed up, you become more spontaneous, more creative, more joyful, more resilient, clearer and having a sharper mind. Who doesn’t want that?

Oh and it might also have health ramifications – in Chinese medicine and other complimentary medicine theories, emotions play a major role in disease (especially unconscious, repressed, tangled emotions). The A.C.E. study has shown enormous levels of correlation when it comes to early trauma leading to adult (inflammatory) disease. What happens when we resolve and repair these early unmet needs and repair and resolve the trauma? It would make sense to assume then the idiopathic (unknown causes of) inflammation would also go down! And this is another reason why this work takes time – true, lasting, joyous transformation takes time but it is well worth it!

The brief uncomfortable journey is well worth it in the end! The key is getting beyond that typical Western saying of, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!” I would change it to, “If I can transform it for the better, what am I waiting for?!”

Thank you for reading!

Kirby offers sessions in person in Central Virginia (Charlottesville). He also offers webinars on various alternative bodywork modalities, working with the autonomic nervous system, and Spiritual Astrology classes. In addition he offers distance sessions by phone or Zoom / Skype. You can reach him at kirby [at] mkirbymoore {dot} com

Comprehensive Natal Chart Interpretation

Kirby will spend 90 minutes interpreting your Natal Birth chart. You can chat about any area that you like. This includes printed charts and it also includes about 30 minutes of preparation time! These are typically done on the phone, via Skype or in person if you happen to be in Virginia, USA.

$135.00

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Hello dear readers,

I am excited to gradually be getting my business started! I am also getting unpacked (both physically and psycho-spiritually) from my amazing Journey West for the mystical and potent Massage School that I just completed. Not to mention beginning to study for the Massage National Licensing Exam… (I’m busy!)

And I need people to practice these incredible bodywork modalities on. Even people who don’t live in Virginia – I can offer distance Acupressure treatments (this is a give what you can session). We learned Asian Bodywork (Shiatsu and Jin Shin Acupressure), Swedish Massage, Integrated Reflexology (hand and mainly foot), Passive Stretching and Hot Stones Massage.

I just got a set of Hot Stones yesterday – they are presently going through a ritual of cleansing and soaking up the Full Moon’s rays before the stones will be ready for treatments in a few days! Also exciting!

Here is a link to sign up for my Newsletter, which I will send out in a couple weeks:

Wisdom Healing Arts Newsletter Link

By the way, I am offering an incentive – for every 25 people who sign up for my Newsletter, I will give a complimentary bodywork treatment each week to a random subscriber (up to 4 max for the month of May)! So sign up now and get in the running to receive a gifted treatment.

To schedule a treatment, click on this link:

Schedule a Treatment with Wisdom Healing Arts Now

Thank you for reading and I am looking forward to sharing these great modalities with you!

~Kirby Moore

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I just completed a weekend of working with a medicine woman here at Massage School. We started chatting about what I offer… and the list started growing long (not to brag or boast – I have been learning bodywork since 2003 – simply what is).

She has taken several levels of BodyTalk – a modality where we muscle test to see what is the priority for the client. It is a comprehensive and complex modality. I have only taken the first level – BodyTalk Access which was insightful and where I learned some beneficial techniques! Plus I have been fortunate enough to receive at least several dozen BodyTalk sessions from exchanging with a friend who has taken all the Advanced Courses in it. Therefore I feel like I have some knowledge of the protocol and the muscle testing for what is a priority.

I mention all that because I am now working on a protocol for a Kirby’s Modality BodyTalk style protocol. It is pretty crazy all that I can offer – especially with the half dozen or more modalities I am learning here in Massage School!

Oh – and I told the medicine woman about my conversation with my Tibetan Lama, Khenchen Konchog Gyaltsen – a clairvoyant and exceptionally clear and lucid spiritual teacher. When my main bodywork teacher, Janet Evergreen, asked him about what she should call all that she does, he didn’t miss a beat saying, “Process Buddhism.” Now I pretty much offer most of what Janet does (having studied with her since 2005), so the medicine woman here said that I better add “Process Buddhism” to my protocol! ūüôā

In case you are wondering, here is my list so far of what I offer: 5-Elements (Chinese Medicine basics), Craniosacral Therapy, Polyvagal Work, Pre- and Perinatal Therapy (and Education), Visceral Manipulation, other Process-oriented Bodywork, BodyTalk Access techniques, Zapchen Somatics, Kundalini Yoga Kriya, Chi Kung advice, Tai Chi basics, Acupressure, Swedish Massage, Hot Stones Integrated Treatment, Herbal Wrap, Shiatsu, Reflexology, Working with Essential Oils, Buddha-Dharma teachings (I am only able to share the basics but this is enough for most clients), Spiritual Astrology, Medical Astrology, Non-Violent Communication, Conflict Resolution Techniques, Process Buddhism would  fall under several other categories.

It looks like I definitely need to narrow this down! Or at least find an efficient way to muscle test and get a category pretty quickly. I might need to delete several items off my list.. time will tell!

I will keep working on this when I have time (we have 3 tests this week and we are preparing to teach Kundalini Yoga – not as a yoga teacher, just as a check mark to make certain we understand K. Yoga).

Thank you for reading!

Have a beautiful Spring day / evening,

~km

 

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I want to write a post about how lucky I am to be one of my bodywork teacher’s senior students. Her name is Janet Evergreen. She is in her 60’s now, and she just, in a recent class, made a comment about starting to slow down how often she teaches her classes. This and her husband has been retired for a few years now, and they are ready to have some fun and travel. So I am yearning to take as many of her classes as possible to keep learning little tricks of the body-intelligent-mandala-oriented-heart-extension bodywork that she practices (those are my descriptions).

Just one example might be enough to explain how lucky I am to have met her and to be able to work with her for the past 12 years:

Some somatic experiences cannot be written about properly (but I will certainly try, ironic eh?). At least you will get a sense of how many layers we are tracking in her advanced classes.

I am on the massage table, about to get a treatment from one of Janet’s students, who has taken at least 3 classes with her (and I assisting).

She uses leg-arcing, a technique where you lift the legs and see where they want to go, follow the legs as they float. Then using the legs as a dowsing rod (basically), you look to see where in the torso they are pointing. We have tested this technique against acupuncturists measuring people’s organ pulses and gotten the same results.

So she wasn’t sure if the legs were indicating left lung or heart. I thought that sounded right.

I am going to fast forward (else this will be a ten thousand word diatribe about a 30 minute bodywork session). Suffice it to say that by this point, she had moved to sit at the head of the table with her arms over my chest, “listening” as it were to my lungs, mediastinum and heart and doing some movement to track both the motility and mobility of those organs. When she realized there was at least one sluggish point on my left lung where the tissue was kind of stuck, she got Janet’s attention to ask about it.

Janet came over and of course seemed to know what was needed before coming close to laying on of hands. She said, “Kirby, can you bring some micro movements into your body to bring some movement into your chest?” I was happy to oblige!

I started moving my arms and just making tiny movements of my belly and ribs. I wanted to double check – I asked, “the thumbs have the lung meridian on them right?” And yes, sure enough, they did.

Janet suggested, “Let your thumbs lead the movements.” By now my arms were gracefully weaving a pattern above my body, and then I started focusing on my thumbs. They started leading the little graceful dance above and off the sides of my torso, sometimes doing the same thing, and other times being dissonant.

Then Janet mentioned, “Let me hold those meridian points.” I should pause for a second and note that for at least ten years, Janet wove baskets when she and her family lived in West Virginia. And not just any baskets – she used oak, which means that her grip, even years after her basketweaving days, her grip is like having a clamp applied, or like vice grips. I noted this saying, “Wow. That is quite a hold you’ve got of my thumbs! What, did you used to weave baskets or something?” It was funny. And it kind of hurt – in a it hurts so good kind of manner.

I slowed down my movement, but the whole body movement from my thumbs continued. Sometimes my torso would lift off the table a bit, other times it was just my hands and arms moving. With Janet’s fingers attached to my thumbs, two little vice grips squeezing my lung meridians for dear life (or so it felt).

But something started to shift in my chest. As I moved from my thumbs, with the meridians being so stimulated, I could suddenly track the course of the meridian down my thumbs, running up the inside of my forearm, and then up the inside of my upper arms and close to my pectoral muscles into my chest. It was wild – warm lines were being drawn on me from the inside. Janet commented, “the right has settled down, but the left still has warmth coming off of it.” (Referring to my thumbs.) And she was right. My right lung was feeling open and calm and happy, while my left lung was still be bit tight or sluggish or sticky.

It just took a few more minutes of gracefully feeling through those meridians and dancing over my body with my arms. And I felt my left lung release, and so did Janet (through my lung meridians on my thumbs). And we both commented on it, she saying, “There it goes,” first.

She had been squeezing pretty good. So when she let go, I was left feeling the meridian lines for several minutes. She went on to squeeze my pinkies – the heart meridian in this case. And it was similar results. The practitioner still had her hands on my chest and was feeling and listening to my inner organs (through the ribs, through the fascia, etc).

Long story short. I had never felt my meridians come alive quite like that. It was another level of deepening of my learning.

I have experienced things in those bodywork classes (or retreats or meditation sessions) at her Sanctuary space that most people can’t even dream of, let alone talk about. I am so very fortunate. Maybe I have been Janet’s teacher in a past life, but I know she has been mine before.

Whatever the case may be, I thank my lucky stars that I have teachers and mentors in my life like her. Heart teachers who go above and beyond, who charge less than they could, who give back to their communities in so many different ways.

I intend to repay her kindness by teaching worthy students. They say that is the greatest way to repay a spiritual teacher (and by practicing what they have taught you). So I must practice self care. I must know that my heart has received valuable and precious transmissions which most people only wish for but never experience. And I must kindly hold my heart in the highest regard, not only because I (we all) have buddhanature coursing through me, but because I have been shown how to work with babies, children and adults in ways that most scientific health practitioners would scoff at (saying, “those results aren’t possible”). And then I intend to teach this material as well.

Advanced somatic therapies. That is a possible title, or like Khenchen Konchog Gyaltsen, one of our heart teachers says, “Call it Process Buddhism” when asked how to describe what Janet does. That pretty much sums it up. ūüôā

Yet again, thank you for reading,

km

 

 

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This is some of the wisdom I gleaned from my time in Canada, where I spent 2-weeks at a birth process work intensive workshop. Then I taught a 3-day workshop on Salt Spring Island on working with babies (primarily from a Craniosacral perspective, but we definitely included a lot of Polyvagal tracking of the autonomic nervous system and wisdom and techniques from the birth process work / pre- and perinatal therapy arena). I realize that previous sentence might have a few words in it which could be unpacked. See below for links.

First of all, I have been studying bodywork since 2003 starting with Reiki energetic healing. ¬†Every year or two, I added another modality to my repertoire, including Zapchen Somatics, Spiritual Astrology, Craniosacral Therapy (both biomechanical and biodynamic), Polyvagal work, birth process work, etc. Such that, for the past 12 years or more, I have mostly been heading toward appropriate self-care and moving toward health. I have been confronting patterns of stagnation, depletion and negativity along the way. And what this all means is that, even if I wanted to avoid health, right now that would be difficult. I have a full Jupiter return of health and well-wishing toward myself under my belt. In other words, I don’t exactly know what is next for me, but I know it will be good. I am not bragging – I still have my ups and downs. But when we put the causes and conditions into place, we can (mostly) control the result.

I really deepened my awareness of the energetic field while in Canada. Now, it did not all come at once – I have pretty much been able to sense these things in the past, but now I am very confident in my ability to discern what is mine from what is arising in the field. I am able to name what I am sensing, and I am now quite accurate, which is awesome. What does this mean? Here is an example: maybe I am working on someone (bodywork), they have had several sessions with me and they are looking to deepen their experience. I am hearing a good mother message in my mind. See the Ray Castellino or Myrna Martin links below for more on good mother messages. Back to the example: I am hearing in my mind, “I love you for who you are, not for what you do.” I ask my client if it is okay if I share something personal with them. They usually say yes. And sometimes it is so resourcing for the client’s little one (younger parts of themselves who may not have gotten all of their needs met). Occasionally mentioning a good mother message goes right to the heart of the issue, and their tissue will change rapidly under my hand when I have them say the message to their little one. Sometimes it will cause a cathartic reaction – they might start crying as I hit on a vulnerable area with this message. And we take the time to resource these younger (potentially wounded) parts of them. It is not a rapid process of healing overnight, but we go slow and this work sticks. Over 5 or 7 sessions, we move some energy which may have been stuck for a long time. And typically it helps that I can read the energetic field with ease now.

I became a lot clearer about double binds. I know when a client mentions one now. Previously, I could feel the confusion in the tissue, or the stuck-ness and know, “Hey, I think we are on a double bind.” But that might have been all I could do a year ago. Now, I can pinpoint both sides of the double bind and assist my clients through these deep conflicts. It really requires bringing their little parts along as well. One thing that Myrna Martin mentioned (she led the 2-week intensive) that really stuck with me is this: when we attempt to remedy a symptom that derives from unmet developmental needs, we have to bring those younger parts along with us, or they will feel threatened. Below is an example: (I would first recommend wiggling some toes, feeling your feet and legs, noticing your seat and pelvis, what are you sitting on and where do you feel that contact? And finally notice your breath. Maybe take a deep breath now.)

Let’s say we want to rid ourselves of anxiety which cropped up a few years ago. Now we might think that this issue is more recent and has nothing to do with the past and our younger days. However, what if our mother or father had serious anxiety problems? What if it took some major stressor to kick us into anxiety which was sort of dormant since we were born? If this anxiety issue does stem back to a young part who did not get all of their needs met (in spite of our parents’ doing the absolute best they could!), then that young part is probably kind of stuck somewhere in processing that unmet need. And likewise, that young part only knows about whatever was causing their anxiety. And if we try to fix the anxiety without including the younger parts in the process, these younger parts will feel like we are trying to stifle them or worse, kill them. ¬†And sometimes this will make the symptom (in this case, anxiety) worse!

[Ever been to a chiropractor for a neck or back issue that always comes back no matter how many sessions you go to? Well guess what? It is possible that is a birth issue trying to complete, but without ever bringing awareness of the baby parts of ourselves into the process, it will never have the chance to complete! I love chiropractors and I go to see a network practitioner myself here in Charlottesville. I’m not trying to single them out at all. This analogy applies to many doctors, psychotherapists, nutritionists, etc etc. Sometimes we need to do a few months of birth process work to really get at the core of an issue.]

What all of this adds up to is this, I am much more confident in working with people of all ages. I taught a workshop in working with babies and I ended up working with newborns, infants and toddlers. And I am much more confident in offering long-distance work. I have been taught (by a different teacher) how to discern in my body what a distance client is noticing and how to slowly move them back toward health and well-being.

I was gone off and on for most of the summer, so I am looking to build up my practice again. So whether you are in Central Virginia and you can see me in person or you would be a long-distance client, I am happy to discuss working together.

Keep in mind I am an Embodiment Coach and a certified bodyworker. I am not a psychotherapist. If you have a mental health or psychiatric issue, make certain you are working with a license medical practitioner first.

Craniosacral –¬†https://www.craniosacraltherapy.org

Polyvagal work –¬†https://traumahealing.org

http://www.somaticpractice.net

Pre- and Perinatal Therapy (aka Birth Process Work) –¬†http://www.castellinotraining.com

http://myrnamartin.net 

https://www.ppncenter.com

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The material is copyrighted by M. Kirby Moore.  Reproduction without permission is prohibited.  Thank you for visiting.

I want to start out this post by saying that I love my parents dearly and by doing some deep psychological and process-oriented work on myself, I understand my parents better and I am so grateful that they gave me the chance for this precious human rebirth.

As Uranus (transiting) crosses the opposition point to my Hades Moon РTr. Uranus is in Aries currently and it is about 1 degree away from exactly opposing my Hades Moon.  I have Pluto conjunct the Moon in my natal chart Рless than a degree separates these two unlikely bed-fellows.  This conjunction falls in my 3rd house in Libra.

The most obvious layer, and when I say obvious – I have had several astrologers just glance at my chart and they say within seconds: “Wow, you have a lot of karma with your Mom, don’t you?”, of a Hades Moon is just that – my perception of my Mother or my relationship to the person I see as my mother is quite complex. ¬†I am aware of the Hades Moon in my chart probably reflects the enmeshment which developed over my childhood years – an enmeshed relationship with my single mother (who did the best she could).

And my mother has Pluto squaring her Moon. ¬†So there is a good chance that a pattern of enmeshment has been “handed down” from her to me. ¬†This enmeshed relationship arose due to a number of reasons – first of which was that my Dad was not around much physically and when he was around, he was never emotionally or psychically present (sorry Dad – but you still have some psycho-emotional stuff to work on). ¬†Therefore I clung to my Mom as my source of nourishment and shelter etc.

The roots of this enmeshment go all the way back to my birth. ¬†When I was born, due to the Indigenous American Indian blood from my father’s lineage (a wonderful gift to say the least), I had a purplish rash on my back and butt. ¬†The doctors did not know what was “wrong” with me so they put me in the NICU – natal intensive care unit where my mother could only visit for an hour at a time or so. ¬†I was there for at least 24 hours – maybe closer to 36 hours and when I was deemed “non-contagious” and handed back to my Mom, something had changed in me and in her. ¬†I have intuited that she felt some subconscious guilt for letting the medical personnel take me and that inherently changed our relationship, tying yet another layer onto an already fated and possibly tangled relationship.

I feel like I could write at length about what I have learned from my Hades Moon.  About all the different permutations my liberation has gone through in terms of putting healthy space between my mother and I.  But I am writing this post today to mention a new piece of information.

I received some powerful bodywork yesterday that really rocked me to my core.  Some sessions are like that, others are more maintenance oriented Рless potent and more resourcing and relaxing.  But I had purposely scheduled

I received a session of Somatic Experiencing Рa.k.a. S.E. (blended with process-oriented pre- and perinatal psychological understand and probably with some Craniosacral Therapy thrown in for good measure).  In S.E., the goal is to get the client (me) to feel the emotions associated with challenges to the polyvagal system Рthat is the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system divisions also known as the Fight / Flight / Freeze system (sympathetic) or the Rest / Digest system.  The goal is to strengthen and resource and turn on the parasympathetic or Rest and Digest system.  But the way to do that is to clear the trauma (or emotions or misunderstandings) which are stuck in various body tissues Рclear where the body is stuck in Fight or Flight or Freeze status.  Obviously, this is very tender and vulnerable work, so I would only recommend going to see a qualified practitioner for it Рsomeone who has done years of work on themselves.

What is wild is that we have a choice. ¬†Once we determine what it is that is challenging the system or what misunderstanding or event is being held in the tissue (a fall, birth trauma, etc), then we can choose to do it differently in our minds – while being held by skillful, resourced, regulated, compassionate hands – and then this can lead to lasting neurological changes in the body. ¬†And it is awesome and potent and nourishing when it is all over. ¬†But I must say that occasionally the adage: “you must feel it to heal it” is appropriate, so sessions are not always comfortable – at least not all the way through. ¬†But they are well worth it.

Before I mention what I learned yesterday, let me mention one thing: double binds.  A double bind is a psychological term for a situation in which we have two or more choices and all of the choices have difficult or challenging outcomes.  For instance, many double binds happen every day when we have elective surgery Рif I get that mole removed, it means I will have to be cut and that is sharp and painful.  However, then I can get the mole biopsied and I will look better cosmetically.  So to keep the mole might invite danger.  But to get the mole removed means I will get cut.  This is a typical double bind Рoption A is painful but option B might be even worse down the road.

Likewise, many double binds occur for children. ¬†As kids, we are stuck with one or both parents, not having any actual options for running away from inappropriate care-takers. ¬†For instance, if we have the choice of suppressing our needs to prevent getting spanked, guess what? ¬†Most kids clam right up. ¬†This is a very common double bind. ¬†Suppressing our needs, somehow learning to not say “No!” in order to avoid the pain of spanking and our parent’s anger or wrath, is terrible either way – we put our foot down and say “No!” and then we get whacked or whipped. ¬†Or we learn to shut our mouths (and many people become pleaser / placaters / shape-shifters in the process of living these double binds).

So what did I learn in this last treatment? ¬†Or what double bind did I discover? ¬†As an aside, because Somatic Experiencing involves gentle, skillful hands-on time, when we do discover a double bind, we can slowly and skillfully help the client (in this case, me) to process it out of their system. ¬†I discovered that my kidneys were holding onto a lingering piece of the Hades Moon karma – that is, when I was young, it was sometimes difficult to stick with my mother (and even worse to spend time with my father – see the paragraph above) and yet the other option – of leaving her would have brought up the worst, most unthinkable terror so it really wasn’t a choice. ¬†Therefore, the essence of the double bind is that being with you is tough but any other option is horribly terrifying. ¬†Imagine the baby part of me – there is no grey area for babies – it is either I am safe and content OR I am in pain, or hungry, or afraid, or I have a dirty diaper. ¬†Therefore the baby part of me does not know how to ask for appropriate space. ¬†I wonder how many kids go through this at least at some point in their lives? ¬†Ack!!

But in my kidneys, and in my gut and in my meninges (around my brain) I felt this buzzing energy which only started to settle down when I admitted (acknowledged) this double bind and then using my adult resources – looking at the practitioner and realizing that I am safe, here and now, and looking around at the beautiful nature outside the windows – saying to myself, “May you (Kirby) be safe” and “May you kidneys be safe” – and bringing the session back to my child parts, saying now you have a choice. ¬†Do you want to feel the way it was back then (painful) or are you ready to try something different (possibly a win-win situation)? ¬†By realizing that my parents’ both probably suffered from this same double bind, I was able to compassionately hold them. ¬†So they are really off the hook – it is my karma which led me to this point and which led me to choose them as parents. ¬†They did the best they could with the resources available to them. ¬†And they did a great job! ¬†I was loved and well-fed and clothed and I was in a decent home throughout my childhood.

In the process of all this, I had to feel through several waves of fear.  Only once I felt the fear and slowly processed it and released it could I rest in a settled, less-reactive place.

And then my kidneys dropped down, resting back and relaxing; they both started to rock rhythmically back and forth indicating they were happy and grounded and felt safe.  My meninges (the shock-absorbing cushion layer around the brain) settled down, relaxed and the buzzing melted away.  And finally there was big spreading in my gut as the practitioner completed the treatment there.

Because it is still fresh in my system and because it involved childhood parts going way back, I expect the balancing to continue for at least a few weeks, possibly more. ¬†I am being more gentle with myself and lying down when I have the time. ¬†No use doing this deep work and then throwing a wrench in the works by pushing too hard or by doing an activity which causes my kidneys to clamp up again… ¬†ūüôā

So just to reiterate.  This is extremely deep work.  I have been doing process-oriented work on myself since 2005, receiving hundreds of treatments.  I still have work to do.  But you should not dive right in and expect these kinds of insights and shifts in the beginning.  It is a process, there is a learning curve and lasting results will take time.  Especially if serious trauma is involved.  PTSD can be slowly resourced, but it will take lots of time.  Remember to be gentle.  Go slow.  Breathe.

And may all beings realize that they have a choice: we can re-do parts of our childhood which were less than resourced and move into an awareness of why it was and how it can be different.  And then re-orient from there.  It is a beautiful process if you are willing to do the work.

Thanks for reading!

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For anyone new to my blog, in addition to writing about Buddhism (Dharma) and Spiritual Astrology, I also write about Healing Facilitation work as I have a private practice offering Process-Oriented Bodywork, Reiki, Craniosacral Therapy and trauma resolution.  This post is about the latter modalities.

I just participated in a class today where I was the teaching assistant.  I have taken hundreds of hours of Craniosacral classes, dozens more of other bodywork courses, so the teacher allow me to sit in her class and hold space for the students.  I occasionally coach them if they need it, but not so much today.

The class was Craniosacral level III – so all the participants are fairly advanced in their practice. ¬†One or two of the students already have practices where they offer massage and / or craniosacral work. ¬†Considering I am coming to this class from a very busy life – doing school (prepping for nursing school), working full time and trying to be present for a romantic relationship when I am able… ¬†I needed to hit the brakes quick and this class provided just what I needed for that.

Due to this being a more advanced class, the teacher dove right in and started with some deeper topics. ¬†Today the topics were two-fold: cords and the correlation of the physical vectors of the body, the energetic chakras of the energy system and the Hara or Dan Tien (of the deeper subtle body) – these three correlate to the three tides of Craniosacral therapy. ¬†I could and probably should write an entire post about the tides, but suffice it to say that there are varying rhythms of the body’s energy – sometimes it is more relaxed and this might be a mid-tide (chakra correlation), or we might be in a go-go-go mode and this would be the short time, a.k.a. the Cranial rhythm (vector correlation). ¬†And then if we are lucky enough to experience a deeper state of relaxation than most people are able to attain on their own (serious meditators can get here, or people who receive a lot of bodywork would also be able to drop down into deeper relaxation) which is known as the long tide, then this correlates with the Hara.

I realize I should probably unpack a lot of those words from that paragraph. ¬†If you don’t follow, don’t worry, you will probably catch more in this next section.

The most poignant topic for me was about cords. ¬†An energetic cord is a connection we have with someone but it is most often not a positive connection. ¬†For instance, if our mothers used guilt trips on us as kids in order to get us to behave, there is a chance there is a cord lingering from that relationship. ¬†Or if we felt the need to humor our fathers as children because we wanted to try to make him happier, we might easily be corded to him. ¬†Here is the thing though – if there is an energetic cord to someone from when we are young, then even if that person leaves our life, that cord sticks around until we purposely heal it and release that energy (often less-than-ideal energy). ¬†So if we have a mother who constantly energetically merges with other people (psychological merging is when, for instance, she can’t stand on her own – she is too flexible and is easily swayed because she “becomes” the people around her – and men can easily learn the less-than-ideal habit of merging as well) and she merges with us as children. ¬†Guess what? ¬†We will probably be merging types ourselves, no matter what our gender.

So what does this have to do with me you might ask? ¬†To share a bit about myself, I am / was a merging type. ¬†My astrology chart reveals this. ¬†One of my parent’s is a merging type. ¬†I learned it easily from them, not knowing any better. ¬†I can easily charm people because I can feel what they are thinking, what they are needing – because their needs become my own. ¬†How bad does this sound? ¬†Well you are correct if you though that. ¬†It sucks. ¬†Period. ¬†And I have spent years working to strengthen my psychological boundaries.

And I still have much work to do.  What I did not mention above is that if we have the pattern (the cord) ingrained in us as youngsters, then we will continue to do it as adults until we fully and completely heal it. And this can easily take years.  It depends on how deeply ingrained it is and how old we were when we learned it.

Also what I did not mention is that we will continue to attract that type of cord-like person into our lives until we heal it.  Say my father was a merging type.  Well he has not been in my life much in the past 18 years.  But someone will definitely come along to replace him until I lovingly cut, release and heal that cord.

You might ask what replaces a cord if we cut it – positive resources replace it. ¬†If we do enough personal growth work on ourselves and on our developmental patterns, we are definitely working through some cord material – whether we say the word “cord” or not. ¬†We are building in positive beliefs about ourselves, we are confronting uncomfortable emotions around that situation (if we have a hidden, deep reservoir of resentment toward our parents for smoking when we were tiny babies, then trust me, this is not comfortable to work through – but it is definitely worth working through it!!!).

It is also interesting to look at ways in which we react to different types of people.  When someone is angry, what is my first response?  Do I pick up their anger with ease?  Can I stay centered?  What is someone is down, sad or depressed?  Do I feel a strong yearning to pick them up Рwhether they ask for help or not?  This might be a cord from the past.  What is someone seems like a strong authority figure?  How do I react around them?  Can I hold my own energetically?  Can I stay confident and in alignment?

These were all questions I found myself asking in this class today.  What do I need to stay present, in my belly, in my Hara, in my chakras, in my heart and in my head in any situation?  What would happen if I said less and took more time to notice my inner process Рeven in novel situations?  How does it feel hold a higher (more empowered) frequency?

These questions are able to be answered through some spiritual paths. ¬†And they are definitely able to be answered if someone chooses to do Process-oriented bodywork, or Spiritual Processing, or Somatic Experiencing, or Craniosacral Therapy. ¬†I hope you get the chance to dip your toes into this subtle world one day. ¬†ūüôā

Thank you for reading!

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