Meditation Informs Healing Facilitation

Posted from a Nature Preserve (home) near Charlottesville

Hello! I am about to head out, leaving all my friendly beasts and birdies behind. Ahhh… But I thought I would post some of my reflections and observations from these three weeks of house sitting near an enormous farm, north of Charlottesville in Albemarle County.

I’ve seen many, many deer. From slight differences on their coats, size and temperaments, it seems there are at least a dozen that come by the house occasionally. One large buck seems to have mange – its coat is doing strange things with dark patches here and there. One doe is very feisty – I think her brother is another buck but she does not like him coming too close to her. And she put her hoof on a fawn’s (her’s?) head when it started licking her – awww – and then it ran away as well. She must be having a bad day. There is another large buck with at least 6 or 8 points wandering around, munching on the low leaves.

I have discovered a temporary sanctuary – a huge, majestic oak. It must be over a hundred years old, spreading its large wings over a significant portion of a large meadow. Sitting beneath, I look out to the South Mountains (hills) and I can see at least twenty miles away. A train pushes through the farm, rocking the silence and jolting everyone awake. There are spikes in this ancient tree, allowing someone to climb it. Plus remnants of a tree house. Aha! Someone else knows about this refuge. Nice! Oh and it seems I do not get cell reception while in the tree, curious indeed.

The bird bath is a drinking fountain for squirrels, deer, birds and insects. The birds seem to have so much fun – I love watching them splash water everywhere. Recently, a plump robin seemed to take over, just taking its sweet time as it bathed. Several little wrens and thrashers were on the edge going, “Hey! Hurry up already! It’s our turn.”

There is a “Peek-A-Boo” wood pecker on the suet feeder. It seems to need to look up every few seconds, and as it does so, its head peeks around the corner as if to say, “Peek-A-Boo!!!” And then it takes a bite with another “Surprise!” coming a few seconds later. Very comical. It comes and goes, so that if I sit on the patio, it plays this delightful childish game with me.

So far, and now that my time here is coming to an end, I have yet to see a fox, a chipmunk and all the blue jays seem to have gone elsewhere (thankfully – they were annoying last year). Although I do miss their adding to the diversity. I did see my first masked bandit up close – a raccoon sauntered by the window and I watched it root around under the bird feeders for a while. As I tried to lift a blind, it recognized me and lumbered off into the woods. It had a most peculiar gait – as if it was not used to running. It was during the day and I hope there is nothing wrong with it, as they are typically nocturnal.

There are beautiful flowers that I am in charge of watering daily. They seem to attract butterflies of many varieties and occasionally the humming birds visit the blossoms. On the cool days, the many colored butterflies sun themselves on the patio. About a dozen of them, wings slowly drifting back and forth, like an orchestra – where is the conductor? There are also gorgeous purple leaves of a plant – in the sunlight, they have a silvery sheen. It seems that plant does not need flowers to express its beauty.

The hummingbird feeder is doing its job. Except it seems that one male is hogging it. When a female approaches it, she must very wary. She does not sit on the edge, rather she stays in flight as she drinks from the various “flowers.” Hummingbirds are definitely not evolved animals – because wow that male is a prick. 🙂 Luckily this is not always the case.

Finally, several tiny yellow finches chase each other around and through the leaves of these dogwoods. When they tire of this, they stop for a bite to eat from the feeder. Then back to their merriment!

Inner conflicts and outer stasis – an astrological reflection

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Recently I have been asking: “What am I doing with my life?” This is because big inner paradigms are shifting and I want to know what is going on, but I am not to know yet; rather I must wait patiently. Let me flesh this out a little more precisely:

So I want to be clear, within my heart, about my life’s direction. But all I know now, is what I had a glimpse of four years ago, that I am talented at astrology and bodywork (healing facilitation), I practice Buddhism, I’m interested in psychology – but not the dry, academic psychology I have met so far at UVa – I guess I should say I am interested in body-psychotherapy which is definitely “ahead of the curve.” However, like four years ago, I am smitten with an apathy, a doubting voice and a heart that is not passionate enough about any of these subjects to dive in fully. Therefore I continue to gradually dip my toes in, but I feel like a jack of multiple trades, rather than specializing in any one subject. And I do not know if pushing in any of these subjects is “what I am meant to do.”

I have spoken with Julie Henderson, one of my heart teachers about my present conundrum, and she says, “Great! You are in the midst of a huge transformation.” Well… I wish I could feel that elated about what I am going through. She said that if someone were merely changing their attitudes, even this would take some time – maybe a few months of added downtime to integrate the shifts. However, she said that if I am changing more than this – my body for instance, then it might take years. Gulp! Years??? Well I have been feeling like I am in a stasis since this past October / November of 2009. So she says to practice confident patience – knowing that shifts are happening under the surface and that things are falling into place as it were. She also gave me some advice regarding ways to possibly speed up the process, but it will not go that much faster. So here I am 🙂

This waiting with confident patience has caused all sorts of anger and frustration to arise. I want to be connected to wisdom beings and more precisely the clarity that might bring, because I do not want to waste my seemingly limited resources (Saturn in the 2nd house opposite Mars in the 8th). My magical way of thinking – my idealistic bubble – has rudely burst, and now I am unsure of what I am meant to do with my life. Luckily I have incredible resources – spiritual teachers, tools for self care and I know that any suffering I go through is only brought on by one person and their attitudes – that would be ME.

Glancing in my Progressed Chart however, I notice that I am shifting on an incredibly deep level. And that to push or force anything at this point, would not only be harmful, but ludicrous. I must wait patiently and kindly, as Julie says, with confidence. But for my Mercury in Aries 9th house (impatient) mind, this is nearly impossible. In my Progressed Chart, Pr. Mercury is at 29 degrees of Pisces, about to re-enter its sign from my birth, Aries. Pr. Mars is teetering on the verge of entering my Natal 9th house. Pr. Jupiter is within astronomical minutes of entering the sign of Leo (a once in a lifetime shift which will actually take a few years to complete). Plus my Pr. Ascendant is activating the Natal Saturn / Mars opposition (tension, strain, push / pull, tiring aspect) and my Pr. Venus is nearing a conjunction with my Natal Sun – at least that sounds like it should be pleasant, although by this point I feel a little disenchanted (see below). But as the reader can observe, there are multiple shifts occurring within my Progressed Chart which, even when taken separately, require patience and quality time to unfold.

When glancing at your Progressed chart, you can see trends arising, occurring and completing. You can see the cycles which we all go through, decade after decade, etc. However, one of the significant indications of major change in people is when the Progressed Personal Planets (Sun, Moon, Mars, Venus, Mercury and even the Ascendant) change signs or change houses then down time is necessary to integrate and re-structure. Seriously – neuroscience is discovering how plastic (flexible, fluid, able to change) the brain is, even in adults. We can change, but if we choose to do so, then it takes additional nourishment and time – new neurological synapses need to be nurtured and treated with kindness.

So that is what I am doing. Seeing clients, and watching my growth rings amount to what feels like very little. Luckily I have very solid resources as I mentioned above. So… Cheers – here’s to waiting with confident patience!

Wisdom beings, known and unknown, seen and unseen, please be with all beings. May all beings know happiness and its causes. Thank you!

Prayers for Leh and Ladakh

Prayers for Leh and surrounding areas in Ladakh! It sounds like the death count from the flash floods and resulting landslides continue to rise. May supplies and support personnel be able to arrive in Leh with ease and swiftness. May all who suffer there find nourishment and easier conditions. Om Mani Padme Hung Hrih!

At first I was going to continue with my pilgrimage chronicles, but that seems insensitive at this time. Expect more within a few days. In the meantime, I would recommend doing Phowa practice or just saying the Mani Mantra (above – Om Mani Padme Hung). Hold the intention to benefit and soften the shock for all sentient beings in Ladakh (and around the world), living and transitioning, seen and unseen. Any prayers will help – thank you!

In the midst of this tragedy, having traveled to Ladakh and established a closer connection with the beautiful culture of the region, I feel increased sadness and weight for the terrible damage and loss from these recent natural disasters. May the Earth be pacified (may we lessen the strain we put on her through pollution and war). May all sentient beings know peace and happiness.

Amitabha Buddha, Buddha of Boundless Light (one aspect of the Buddha, known to help beings when they are dying or transitioning).

Ladakh Chronicles resume – Lama Yuru, Senge Lhakhang

After several months break, I am resuming the Ladakh chronicles (from two years ago!) and now I intend to finish my description of that fantastic journey. In 2008, I was a part of a dynamic and profound group of practitioners who went on pilgrimage to Ladakh India. In this post, several pieces: the Lion Shrine – one of the oldest buildings in Ladakh (which is saying something), notes from taking refuge with Bakula Randrol Nyima Rinpoche and reflections on leaving Lama Yuru – which meant not doing a five day retreat.

On this last day at Lama Yuru Gompa, we visited the Senge Lhakhang, the Lion Shrine, which is the only building at Lama Yuru still standing from the original monastery that Rinchen Sangpo – the Great Translator – built in the 11th century. That means it is ~1000 years old. Woof! There were beautiful sculptures, pictures of the five Buddha families and their Buddhas, faded mandalas and off in another room, there was a Gonkhang, or Protector Shrine. These faces were not covered, so I was hoping taking pictures of them was okay. It is said that the artwork in this ancient shrine is similar to that from Alchi Gompa.

For some reason, I have the notes from taking refuge with Bakula Rangdrol Nyima Rinpoche here on this day, one or two days after actually doing the refuge ceremony with him. He mentioned several things for people who have taken refuge to keep in mind and practice: 1) do not worship lower spirits, 2) respect Dharma texts – do not step over them, do not put them on the floor, etc, 3) do not take Dharma advice from heretics (non-Sangha members), 4) make offerings to the Dharma wherever appropriate, and finally 5) take care of religious objects – anything from clothes to statues, images etc. These pieces of advice were in addition to taking at least one of the 5 pratimoksha vows – not to kill, not to steal, not to take intoxicants, to avoid sexual misconduct and to avoid false speech (I think that is the five).

I was considering doing a retreat at Lama Yuru – especially when Lama Jorphel (Drupon) showed us the room that Westerners use to do one, two and three month retreats. I would only have a few days after the majority of the group left however, so I opted out of doing a five day retreat. I was very anxious and worried about food and transportation. If I had felt more at ease, I probably would have stayed. As it was, I wanted to visit the Tibetan doctor one more time – the Amche, I wanted to practice my Tibetan with a new Tibetan family I had met and I wanted to rest and read and just do a little bit of practice. Oh – and I wanted to eat meat momos.

petition to Yeshe Goenpo

crushed, shaken, hooked
how I feel,
past year of waiting, resting
sitting, lying, trusting
swimming in the depths
I’m tired,
be with me!
why was I born a Pisces?
this form realm a living hell
how can one be simultaneously:
in anguish, restless, depressed,
aching, gutted?
my patience is dissolving,
my faith is floundering
hold my hand, I beg you
wrap my watery chrysalis
in your vast heart

Subtle Astrological Aspects – Listen deeply

This is a post for people who have at least a little bit of astrological knowledge. If you don’t have that, you can read through it and at least have a little laugh.

Ever wonder about those little known astrological aspects? Like the semi-square, semi-sextile or the sesquiquadrate? Did you even know that last one was a word? <chuckle chuckle grin grin>

This is a post about possibilities when we slow down enough to listen and notice. There are astrological aspects which most people do not notice – or they experience them and just go about their busy-ness. Recently, I have been slowing down more, intentionally. This is tough to do if we live a typical lifestyle, as there are many responsibilities and countless distractions. First a little more about my story, and then into the astrology.

If you are a first time reader, welcome, and I will share a little background info. I am a Tibetan Buddhist practitioner which means I attend an annual teaching retreat where Tibetan lamas (monks and teachers) discuss and teach on Buddhist theories, meditation and philosophies. Having been a practitioner for several years now, and an avid supporter of the Tibetan Meditation Center (where they host many such retreats), I have developed a deeper relationship with several of the teachers there.

I have been fairly active over the past eight weeks or so, organizing for their Spring Retreat and then helping to organize for a high lama’s teachings in my home town of Charlottesville. Actually “active” is not the right word. I would say “overwhelmed and barely able to catch up with myself” are closer to the truth. Typically, when I help to organize an event, I say I can do one thing but end up agreeing to take on more and eventually, at least in the past, I would get frustrated and realize, “Hey! I have too much on my plate!” So to be more accurate, I have been wired and tense as I accumulated responsibilities.

Prior to that, I have been finishing my undergraduate work at the University of Virginia in addition to working as a self-employed healing facilitator offering Craniosacral Bodywork sessions and Spiritual Astrology interpretations. Therefore, since 2006, I have not really had much down time – school in the fall and spring, winter retreat, and work like hell over the summer. The word vacation is foreign to me, since the last time I went on one was in the previous century… Yowsers! So when Drupon Thinley Ningpo, a Tibetan lama and one of my heart teachers, told me, when I solicited advice, “You need to slow down. You need to relax.” Being confused at first, I asked for clarification, not understanding that all he wants me to do is rest down. He said, “just relax, that’s all.” Well, that sounds easy…

But as I mentioned above, there are numerous distractions and like most people, I need to pay my bills. But I have been purposefully resting down as of late (the past few weeks anyway) and I intend to continue. As I slow down, I am realizing there are numerous astrology aspects which occur, but in the past I could never have noticed them as I was just barely able to finish the next thing on my unending to-do list.

So what actually occurs when we experience a semi-square? Do we ever feel positive effects from a semi-sextile aspect? And for those of you wondering, I will also answer the questions: what is a semi-square? semi-sextile? sesquiquadrate? 🙂

In geocentric astrology, when someone is born, their birth chart or natal horoscope is a snap shot of the solar system from a top-down, Earth-centered view. And of course, the planets continue moving as the days go by, and this continual planetary motion is known in astrology as Transits (because the “transiting planets” continue to circle the Sun and aspect planets in the natal horoscope). It is these aspects that I am concerned about for the purposes of this post.

In astrology, there are Hard Aspects – the major hard aspects are the Conjunction (depending on the planets involved), the Square and the Opposition. And there are Soft Aspects – the majors ones are the Trine and Sextile (and occasionally the Conjunction when beneficial planets are involved). It is these major aspects that most people are concerned about because they indicate significant tension, benefits, strife, opportunities, relationships, conflict, support, etc. It is the major aspects that are hard to miss – especially the Hard Aspects, the Square and Opposition reflect events in our lives that tend to catalyze change and transformation, the beginning, middle and end of cycles.

Now I’m not trying to say that I know about them. Good grief! I am a Leo Rising, but I think I have gotten a grip on my arrogance and pride. However, I do have a little bit of experience as a Professional Astrologer, so I will share what little I know below.

So, now that I have bored you to death and written way too much in the way of an introduction… If one can slow down enough, they can notice all of the aspects occurring between their Natal charts and the Transiting Planets. The Square (90 degrees, one fourth of the chart) is an aspect which reflects tension and challenge in someone’s life – the square can indicate resistance and stubbornness because, seriously, who wants to change? We all have expectations about what our lives are supposed to look like, and who wants to go against the grain and transform themselves? Well, sometimes we don’t have a choice. Impermanence is a fact – things change. Sorry 🙂

Well the semi-square (45 degrees) is a minor version of its major relative. It is one eighth of the chart. The semi-square indicates behavior that could get us in trouble if we continue to perpetuate it. It indicates habits which are in the process of forming. Depending on which planets are in aspect, these habits can be detrimental or positive for our healthy growth and continued resting in alignment.

The Sextile aspect (60 degrees) is a just barely a major aspect. It is one sixth of the chart. Some astrologers consider it to be a minor aspect because having many Hard Aspects occurring at the same time can sharply reduce the events reflected by Sextiles. In general, the Sextile tends toward opportunities and benefits, but of course you need to see which planets are in aspect and which astrological houses are involved to become clear of the meaning. Some sextiles, for instance involving Jupiter or Venus are almost always positive, where other sextiles, perhaps involving Mars or Pluto can be a little trying or steamy, but still positive in the long run.

The semi-sextile (30 degrees) is even more subtle than the Sextile. Which means that it is the least discernible of all. I would say that if you have several semi-sextiles operating at the same time, then you might notice. It is one twelfth of the chart.

Finally, the sesquiquadrate aspect (135 degrees) is an odd aspect that occurs when you add the Square plus the Semi-square (90 and 45 degrees respectively). It is a little more than one third of the chart and it is difficult to discern unless you really search for it. Again, in my experience, I would say that you need to keenly seek out the planets involved in it and then be aware of what they indicate when in aspect. In other words, don’t put too much effort into locating these! See below.

I plan to wrap this up shortly, by the way… One example first, in addition to a little advice about these subtle aspects.

Regarding the subtle aspects, if you lead a busy life, forget about them. They are subtle and you need several of them operating simultaneously to notice. The only one which might carry some weight is the semi-square. It is fairly easy to locate – 45 degrees is a full sign plus a half. In my experience, none of these subtle aspects reflects major, life-changing influences. However, if you notice yourself drifting off into a deluded state, it might be good to see if Neptune is making a semi-square with Mercury or another personal planet.

Generally, you will notice these subtle aspects the most when the planets involved reflect something which you have not resolved in your subconscious (psycho-spiritual) process. For instance, in my chart, I have Uranus in a Square aspect to Venus in my Natal Chart – which means I am constantly walking around with a dynamic, magnetic, charming yet bohemian (Uranus) way of relating (and sense of style), especially regarding loved ones (Venus) – I need space and I will often surprise even people who know me with some unpredictable behavior (Uranus).

So if and when transiting Uranus makes a minor aspect to my Natal Venus, it can indicate a stimulation of these energies – whether from within my psyche or from other people without (which still originate within me – e.g. who am I attracting and why?). If Uranus makes a Major Aspect to my Natal Venus look out – then there would be some events in my life (reflected of course, not caused, by the aspect) that would seem to be unavoidable. The only thing I can control is my reaction to them.

Well guess what. Recently I noticed, transiting Uranus is presently making a semi-square to Venus, and due to transiting Uranus’ slow movement, it has been sitting in this relationship to Venus for several months. So that explains a bizarre and unexpected relationship faux pas which I recently experienced.

Yes, sometimes if you experience a curious event and you do not see “evidence” for it in your major transiting or progressed aspects, then it might be good to look at what is occurring locally or on more of a minor level. Then, and only then, is it helpful. And remember, astrology simply provides understanding about ourselves and others. It is a tool and nothing more, nothing less. Don’t spend too much time with it, but having a bigoted, prejudiced attitude toward it is not good either.

Thanks for reading and have a good day.

Let me know if you are interested in having your chart done (receiving an Interpretation).

Khenchen Konchog Gyaltsen in C’ville

Khenchen taught in Charlottesville on the topic of his relatively recent text, “Prescriptions and Proscriptions.” It was a beautiful weekend hosted at the Unity Church. He taught both afternoons and then offered refuge on Sunday. The first day he went through the preliminaries and the Hinayana theories – for instance, practice good moral ethics and you will be happier. Then on the second day he went through the Vajrayana section and Mahamudra – very potent and I, yet again, learned a lot. Actually, even if I had heard something again, hearing it from Khenchen is such a solid reminder and I find it very validating.

As I mention in a previous post, it was Khenchen who taught (me) that it truly is possible to become a Buddha in this lifetime. It is not just a cliche or a pie in the sky wish – through hard work and effort and putting the lamas advice into practice, it is quite do-able.

About 25 to 30 people showed up on both days, with Saturday having one group and then many new faces showed up on Sunday. I am very grateful that Khenchen blessed us with his presence. As the event was winding down, I made announcements, thanking people, etc. I also requested Khenchen to please come back and teach in C’ville. He stopped me saying, “you know there are several great teachers at TMC now and that it would be better to invite them down.” I think he is unfortunately feeling the affects of his chronic fatigue – he is tired. So thank you thank you thank you for blessing us by coming to Charlottesville. It might not happen again in this lifetime.

July wish

to transcend or to stick with this curious existence…

I yearn for the trees, to be alone in the woods,

to discover a life of substance, not these false, vapid appearances.

A life worth living, full of pure vitality, pulsing.

I yearn for another glimpse into reality, to ride the waves found within, to live fully.

I am tired of my old habits, formed or nurtured in this stale, artificial environment.

I yearn to come back to my heart, to feel alive, to breathe fully,

to be fearless, to speak from my core, unshakably.

May I be clear kind and most importantly honest with all.

I yearn to escape Mara’s clutches, to complete my practice without distraction, for the benefit of all beings.

May it be so.

Dalai Jefferson?

This is a very interesting story that I just heard recently. However I want to add this little detail.

As a disclaimer, I heard these anecdotes from a friend whom I deeply respect and who is a dedicated Buddhist practitioner, so he has no reason to embellish or exaggerate any tales. With that said however, what I am about to mention is definitely second hand information (from someone other than the subject). It struck me as being profound and I do not know what to make of this info, except to share it and see what others think.

When the Dalai Lama first came to the United States back in 1979, he visited Washington D.C. among other places. At that time, he was taken to the Jefferson Memorial. Of course, there is a statue of Thomas Jefferson there, and upon seeing it, His Holiness was heard to proclaim, “I think that was me,” as he indicated the statue.

Jeffrey Hopkins, or another Buddhist scholar was present at this encounter, and he, having knowledge on the subject, said, “But Your Holiness, the Dalai Lamas were already established at that time.” Subtext: that could not be you, because you were already in existence elsewhere.

The Dalai Lama replied, “that would not be a problem.” [Indicating that, as a highly realized spiritual being, known as a Bodhisattva, having multiple emanations is not inconceivable, and in fact, might very well be possible.]

The Dalai Lama is known to be a realized Bodhisattva. And authentic Bodhisattvas are known to be able to emanate multiple “copies” of themselves, or in this case, separate, distinct, unique individuals. And we know Jefferson was a very fascinating and intriguing individual. Coincidence? Probably.

As someone who has lived in or around Charlottesville Virginia most of my life (24 years now), I am fascinated by this exchange. This is because, as a Charlottesvillian, one can barely move around town without seeing some kind of sign or monument to Thomas Jefferson (as this was his home town). And, as a student at the University of Virginia, one is not able to attend class for a week without hearing the professors (the “s” is emphasized!) weave Jefferson and his quotes or inventions or philosophy into their lectures. Therefore, this story is most poignant to me.

I personally have been to Monticello, Jefferson’s primary residence, which is just outside of Charlottesville, and I have seen some of his inventions first hand – the man was obviously a genius and at his time, he may have known more about the world (specific temporal world knowledge) than anyone could possibly know today. It seems like he was interested in everything – from politics to gardening to machinery to running an estate to cooking and wine making and everything in between. But I had never heard the above story previously, or the stories I am about to relate.

The following story is about John F. Kennedy. He arranged to have a dinner with many of the living Nobel Peace Laureates at the White House. Apparently the President said something like this (I am paraphrasing): “This group is the most intelligent to grace this dining room, at least since Thomas Jefferson dined alone.”

Jefferson apparently wrote his own version of the bible – he took Jesus’ words from the gospels and made a big paste up. He omitted the miracles and was left with what he called The Life and Morals of Jesus of Nazareth. This is in print off and on – not too difficult to find (including Wikipedia).

When Thomas Jefferson wrote the first draft of the Declaration of Independence, he argued for the abolishing of slavery. This apparently did not go over well with the southern states, and as a result, he was forced to revise the Declaration into its present form. I have heard that Jefferson argued against slavery as he got older – which seems peculiar considering his being in possession of them?

Well that is all I have for now. I hope you enjoyed this little discussion and read something novel. Have a good day!

Post Dharma Hangover – Clear Bliss, No Chaser

Not to sound overly arrogant… Despite the fact that I am a bit prideful… I am suffering from an over-flow of inner bliss. No, in general this situation would not be considered a burden. However, I know that this too shall pass, and as a result, I am aware that this blissful delight is temporary. Awwww! Also I realize that posting this information will make it pass more swiftly.

I have just been a part of the team sponsoring a high Tibetan lama (spiritual teacher) in Charlottesville. Thankfully there is a lot of support and assistance, especially when things started to melt down for me, which has been happening with greater and greater frequency recently 😦

There is a book entitled, “After The Ecstasy, The Laundry.” (Jack Kornfield) Perhaps that is what I will discover shortly. But let me tell you my story.

I first took refuge with Khenchen Rinpoche, Konchog Gyaltsen in 2006 at my first Tibetan retreat. He is the first lama I received extensive teachings from, and at present, it feels like I have a closer connection to him than I do to my root lama (Drupon Thinley Ningpo), which could easily have to do with Drupon-la and I’s slight language barrier (Khenchen speaks clear English, where Drupon’s is improving but is presently a work in progress). I suspect this will change, once I spend more time with the Drupon, and learn to speak Tibetan. And let down my guard around him. Details!

Fast forward through numerous Buddhist retreats, personal practice, struggling through academia and personal process work to the summer of 2010, now. In the past six weeks, I helped organize the Spring Retreat in Maryland at the Tibetan Meditation Center and then I took on the task of organizing these recent teachings here in C’ville. A part of me is still saying, “You crazy man! Don’t take on anything of this magnitude again! Especially when you have less than two weeks to get everything accomplished.” However, what I would presently reply with is, “Support is always there. You just have to ask.” I was / am always surprised by the way things mysteriously work out. Plus! I feel that I stretched and pulled myself to greater capacity. I am noticing my ability to speak my mind, my needs and feelings just flowing with ease. Including and especially with people who I had contraction around previously – YAY! Awesome. Something positive is occurring… I think… Time is valuable – be efficient, but above all, relax… This is the most important part about time being valuable – I need time in order to rest and relax and rejuvenate.

So yes, the teachings were incredible, like usual. Khenchen’s English is very comprehensible, and he often uses words that I have not learned yet, meaning I have to pay attention to what he is saying (no day dreaming or half-hearted listening). Of course, he is also great at pointing things out in layman’s terms, like, “If you plant the seeds for poison, whether or not you have understanding, poison is going to grow. Where as, if you plant the seeds for medicine, whether or not you have understanding, medicine is going to grow.” Awesome.

To top it off, in the course of a few hours, I went from feeling hazy about several topics to now feeling clearer and more focused. This includes where I am to live, what I am to do about work (you know, manifesting money) and how soon I need to worry about finishing school. So I now feel like I know much more than I did yesterday. Is that possible? Or is it just the novelty of being with Khenchen, which might wear off here in a little while? I must admit that stretching myself as the primary organizer comes with a few little perks – like getting to speak directly to Rinpoche (an enlightened being) about substantive matters, etc.

Anyway, he gave intense, potent instructions to those of us in the Charlottesville Ratnashri Sangha, advice which I feel is way beyond my capacity, he said, “You [C’ville Sangha] need to continue to grow and practice until all sentient beings attain unsurpassed Enlightenment.” Is that possible? How long will that take? OMG! I don’t want to think about that, however I now feel I must practice more on a regular basis. Surprise surprise! But now there is a good reason. So that answers the question about where to live – he asked me where we would practice now that someone important to the Sangha is moving. I told him the same place. Which means I am staying at my present location because I am going to be the responsible one. Wow. I just signed up for something else… Ugh… But at least it was for an Enlightened Being (wisdom being). If this paragraph does not make any sense to you, don’t worry, I can barely make heads or tails of it, but I am leaving it in here for who-knows-what-reason.

He also told me in an impromptu interview that I should job hunt to solve my financial situation (as opposed to doing practice and hoping bodywork clients manifest in greater quantities). I love how he is against “magical thinking,” and instead he suggests we take practical steps. I need that advice. 🙂 He said I need to let go of expectations – maybe my obstacles will clear up soon, maybe they will take a while and maybe they will continue indefinitely. But don’t worry – just let go – it will be okay no matter what. [This next section is my interpretation of what he said:] We have Buddha-nature, so be confident, sooner or later, if we continue to practice Dharma sincerely and maintain moral ethics and virtuous conduct, then we will create the causes to realize the nature of our mind-as-such (become enlightened). And the law of causality is one of those indestructible laws of nature – there cannot be a result without a cause. So long story short, that solves my working question. Time to start hunting. <Imagine Kirby on the prowl – for a job. While you are at it, please send some good job-finding juju my way. I want something dynamic and fun which uses my many talents, oh and preferably works with children.>

The only thing I am a bit hesitant about is when to finish school. Completing it is a must. It is just a matter of when. Well it is okay – again, don’t worry, be happy. I gained some clarity about a couple of pressing worries. So just be happy, don’t worry! It is my intention to finish my undergraduate work at UVA, despite feeling that it is pointless, worthless and that I am wasting my time being stuck amongst incredibly intelligent, yet immature 20 year olds… I am so not a “typical undergrad.” Wow! It’s nice to get that out “on paper.”

Good good good. More to follow, especially when I get home and put the pictures on here. Thanks for reading!