Series on Hatching: out of body, near death experience

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I am planning to post several strands on here about how some connections have been coming together as of late.  I have not shared this information publicly in the past for a number of reasons but I think it is time I ‘fessed up to some experiences I have been blessed to encounter.

Back in 2002, I was attempting to be an ordinary young man (who happened to drive an ’84 Volvo 240 DL and was concerned about his diet).  Other than my concern with what I was taking in as far as food, I was not into many (any?) alternative subjects or topics.  Actually, come to think of it, 2002 was quite the turning point in my life.  So what changed, you ask?

For starters, I was enrolled in an Eastern Thinking philosophy class at the local community college, and it was in that class where I first connected with Buddhism (through Zen, along with learning about Taoism and Confucius).  It was during that class that I had a dream one night.  I had been playing poker with friends, and dare I mention this, I had a few drinks so I opted to sleep on their couch rather than trying to drive home in a questionable state…  And it was that night that I had a dream, and that dream told me explicitly that I had “appendicitis.”  I think I am pretty blessed to have a voice tell me that, but that is a whole other story.

So I was young and not terribly educated (at that time), and I had no clue what appendicitis was.  My mother is a nurse, so I called her and asked.  She was slightly concerned but after asking me about several of the symptoms, it seemed I was relatively fine.

Well that night, for no obvious reason (I was at home), I got sick briefly and inexplicably.  Then the following day I started to notice a discomfort in my belly, down on the right side a little (another symptom of appendicitis).  Therefore I started becoming worried – I mean that was the only dream of that type I had EVER experienced!

In spite of not feeling any pain – I discovered in high school with a couple of previous surgeries that my pain threshold was / is out of this world – and I went to the Emergency Room.  Well guess what – the doctor poked and prodded my belly and he told me very definitively that if I had appendicitis, I would not be able to stand that type of palpation.  As in, “why wasn’t I screaming in horrific agony?!”  Sorry doc – you apparently have not met a past life yogi.  As far as I was concerned, that dream was all I needed to validate my situation, not to mention the throwing up for no apparent reason and there was a little discomfort.

Finally I was persistent enough that they drew blood and sent it to the lab for testing, leaving me in a thin hospital gown in the chilly E.R. patient waiting area for the two hours or so that took.  But sure enough, the doctor came back about 2 – 3 hours later and said, “Uhh…  Your white blood cell count is off the charts, we should wheel you back to the O.R. now.  [For your “previously non-existent appendicitis”]”  Thanks doc, way to validate my fear of your misunderstanding me and my awareness of my body.

I was put under anesthesia and apparently I did and said some funny things that night as I was under the influence of morphine.  It was a laproscopic surgery which meant there were three small incisions (one for the camera, one for the cutting tool and the third for where they bagged the pieces of appendix and pulled them out).  In spite of being under the influence of that opiate, I learned something bizarre that following morning.

The surgeon came in and was talking me through the surgery.  He said several normal-sounding-things and then he dropped in, “And we had to stop your heart.”  Keep in mind I was seeing rainbows and dreaming of unicorns a moment earlier, but I’m sure my head dropped a little to the side in the classic “Mrrrwhat?!” expression.  I asked him a little about this considering I knew my heart was a good ways away from the appendix area and he mentioned that I started to have an arrhythmia and they were forced to reset my heart beat.  Aha!

Well guess what?  Them stopping my heart apparently had vast psycho-spiritual implications as well – go figure.  At the time, I did not know it.  I’m assuming my green mental awareness and consciousness could not yet handle knowing that truth, so instead, I received dreams about the out-of-body, near-death experience which happened as they stopped my heart.

I was in Hawaii for a dynamic week of workshops, whale watching and dolphin swims when I started having the dreams and it was nearly three years to the date of having had the surgery (and I had studied several esoteric subjects by then).

See my next post detailing all of this.  Needless to say however that my life and lifestyle started to dramatically change during and after 2002.

Thanks for reading.

a Spiritual Master’s advice

I recently purchased Garchen Rinpoche’s biography, or Book One anyway.  I am slowly reading through it, and thoroughly enjoying it.  I just want to share some of Gar Rinpoche’s advice.  I should mention that I believe this is incredibly wise advise, but each individual is unique in our karmic predispositions, so I would recommend seeking a spiritual teacher you resonate with before taking major action (or inaction!) on these words.

From page 24, The Lama of Many Lifetimes, book one:

“If you are truly my student, … then you will not generate hatred and anger even toward a person who comes to kill me.  If you do, then I will have failed as your teacher!  If it is his karma to kill and my karma to die, so be it, but as Garchen Rinpoche’s student, you must not lose your Bodhicitta and must continue to develop love and compassion for this person.”

“If someone for whom you care as lovingly as your child ends up wronging you, harming you, hurting you, beating you or abusing you, it does not matter, you resolutely must not forsake your Bodhicitta!  Your body is what you will shed at the end of this life, but the equanimous love in your midstream is what you want to protect and bring with you throughout lifetimes.”

I’m not sure I would pass this test, as I see Garchen Rinpoche as such a precious being (yes, I might be attached to his living longer and spreading the Dharma).

Anywho, just passing along an incredible reminder from one of the Buddhist Saints.  Thank you for reading.

Goodbye my soul brother

 

 

A dear good friend of mine just passed away under difficult circumstances…

I got the news earlier today and my heart entered my throat.  Because today another friend of mine is/was under going open heart surgery, and in fact, I have yet to hear how he is doing…  So gasp.  Breathe.  Slowly…  take in air…

Not knowing what else to do, I filled the bath tub with hot water, dumped about a fourth of an ounce of the YoungLiving Essential Oil Blend of “Release” in the water, and I sat there.  At first, depressing, angry thoughts and words arose…  Why him?  Why didn’t I get to say goodbye in person?  Why why why!!!  But then beautiful, breezy, warming, electrifying sensations began to pulse through my body as I began to grieve.  I am not someone who cries easily or often.  Like I’m lucky if I tear up once or twice a year…  Fortunately I voiced what my heart was feeling and sobs began to arise, moans and groans and wails of anguish and loss.  I wonder if I’m the type of male who internalizes several little things and then requires a large event to rupture the dam of suppressed tears (I don’t do it consciously).

These are some parting words…

You were my older brother, you were my friend, you were my mentor and at times,

You were even a spiritual teacher, because I have only met one or two other Westerners

Who can articulate and fuse psycho-spiritual / emotional concepts

with a deep knowledge and awareness of consciousness.

Now, I wonder that I won’t be able to think of the Olympics again without thoughts of you,

I won’t be able to go to the Tea Bazaar without yearning for our edifying conversations,

And my memories of the Tree House are more shadowy and complex.

You taught me many things: don’t waste my time.  Impermanence is real.

In fact, it is almost as if your transition is one final teaching along this line.

You are still teaching me to never take a friend’s presence for granted…

You showed me that when an opportunity presents itself, no matter how cautious

I wanted to be, no matter how much doubt arose, go grab it!  Don’t hesitate!

At the same time you taught me to slow down, to enjoy the moment,

And most importantly, you asked me to trust my inner Guru.

We did not always agree and you had the courage to tell me

that you could only stand to be around some people for 90 minutes tops.

It seemed that even I could fall into that category at times.

I am so happy you showed me your courage,

you showed me that even gentle men could bare their teeth,

And you showed me that compassion takes many different forms.

And from here on out, I am making an effort to connect with juicy friends and supportive colleagues.

I have at least a couple of gifts to offer, even if my light has dimmed a bit due to health concerns.

I choose life, I choose supportive good company, I choose health and I choose faith in a lineage of healing wisdom.

A supplement to Venus Retrograde: Venus’ shadow

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To be clear regarding this topic, in psychological astrology we can talk about the “shadow of Gemini” or “Scorpio’s shadow.”  And if I were talking in that regard, I would be referring to the way in which those signs can work against ourselves – shadowy, unconscious material as it were.  In this case though, I am referring to an actual “thing.”  And yes, “thing” is a technical term.  🙂

When a planet goes retrograde, the point at which it seems to “pause” in the sky is known as its shadow.  For instance, (because we are talking about this planet) Venus went retrograde back in December at 29 degrees of Capricorn.  That is the furthest forward it had gotten before turning retrograde.  Following me so far?  So Venus’ shadow is presently at 29 degrees of Capricorn, considering as I write this, Venus is completing its retrograde cycle at 13 degrees Capricorn.

Here is the thing which any non-astrologer (and probably some astrologers may not either) does not know.  When Venus (or any planet for that matter) goes direct, the shadow will still be “in effect” for a short period of time thereafter.  This is why one of my astrology teachers used to preach that the retrograde cycle lasts at least two weeks after the planet starts moving forward (and I’m beginning to think he knew what he was talking about!)   🙂

So when does the shadow stop being in effect?  When the planet crosses its shadow.  So for Venus, it will officially be out of retrograde (meaning it is stationing direct and moving forward for the next 18 months or so) after January 31st.  But on that day, it will be at 13 degrees of Capricorn.  It will still have four plus weeks before it will cross its shadow.  Meaning, and I will say more, if 29 degrees of Capricorn is significant in your chart (and you would know this fact already because Venus stationed retrograde at that point, and that shadow point has been in effect since December 20th, 2013), that you may not be completely in the clear until February 28th or so.  Sorry if I’m bursting any bubbles…

If you want to know the exact day, Venus will not cross 29 degrees of Capricorn until March 5th.  So that is a good long time to slowly start to creep forward and finally it will start moving at a decent clip in the middle of February, and it will cross its shadow officially ending this retrograde cycle for 2014 (for Venus).

Here are some examples, just to be more clear.  Let us say that you have Mars at 29 degrees of Libra in your Natal Chart.  Normally, when Venus is moving at its usual, quick pace, Venus would transit your Natal Mars in two or three days tops.  It would be at 27 degrees of a Cardinal sign one day, at 29 degrees the next and then it would be moving on into the next Fixed sign.  And you would feel the reflected emotional intensity for only two to threes (normally!).  But here, the retrograde cycle would draw that out for at least six weeks, and maybe longer.

Continuing where I left off, that means that around December 20th of this past year, Venus paused at the point squaring your Mars (29 Capricorn) for a solid two to three weeks due to the retrograde process.  So you may have had a hot and steamy holidays there (or you may have wished you had someone to have a hot and steamy celebration with when those two planets meet up!).  AND…  due to Venus’ shadow sitting at the square point to your Mars, guess what?  There would be a subtle hint of that intense attraction and magnetic sexual energy off and on over the past month or so – even when Venus itself backed up away from the square point.  Does that make sense?  I hope so.  Venus and Mars, when a square happens, can be touchy bedfellows – generally speaking when Venus transits Natal Mars, it is easier, but sometimes arguments and emotionality can arise.  There will be some heightened erotic energy, but at times it can be a little juvenile – meaning, “I want what I want damn it and why can’t I have that!!!”  So hopefully if this is happening to you, you and your partner will be on similar pages and then you can have a healthy outlet for this energy!

Basically what I am trying to say is this: look at your Natal Chart.  Do you have any planets in the 27 – 30 degree mark of Cardinal signs AND / OR do you have any planets in the 1 – 3 degree point of Fixed signs?  Cardinals are Aries, Libra, Cancer, Capricorn and Fixed signs are Scorpio, Taurus, Leo and Aquarius.  These planets would all be affected by Venus’ shadow sitting at its present location, AND that might explain the up and down Venusian energy you have been feeling over the past month despite the fact that you don’t actually see much happening in your chart.  That’s because the shadow in a inferred point (there is no shadow in the sky where the planet went retrograde)   🙂

Now this same thing is true for any other planet.  If you have Neptune at 29 degrees of Aries, then lookout – you have probably had rose-colored glasses on for the past few weeks  🙂   And there could be a disillusionment heading your way!  If you have Uranus at 29 degrees of Cancer, this could also throw a fun, exciting, but not-long-lasting wrench in the relationship works especially if  you are starting a new relationship since December 10th or more recently (because then you’d have Venus in opposition to Uranus influencing your desires for six to eight weeks).  And the same is also true for Jupiter at 29 degrees of a Cardinal sign, Pluto and Saturn.  And yes, I did just throw Jupiter in that mix.

Even the great Benefic Jupiter can bring difficulty (imagine too much abundance, too much indulgence and / or too much hedonism – then you are getting close to what might be arising here).  You will definitely enjoy the time with Venus in continuous or shadowy aspect to Jupiter for eight weeks, but afterward you might say to yourself, “Well shucks, that was fun, but I may have wasted some time there…”   🙂

So good luck deciphering this and hopefully it brings a touch more clarity to the subject of Venus retrograde.  I have been noticing it myself as I have a planet at 29 degrees of a Cardinal sign.  So I stand behind these words.  I would love to hear your comments.  And thank you for reading.

Looking for a “good man” or a “good woman?” Look to Saturn.

I am writing this post because I continue to see a trend.  That trend is that people (men or women) with a strong Saturn in their astrology chart often have many fine qualities.  It is almost as if the planet Saturn (among other factors) is indicative of having an abundance of positive karma.

What are some of these Saturnian traits?  (By naming these, you can decide whether or not you want someone of a Saturnian nature in your life.)

Groundedness.  Practicality.  Humility.  Down-to-earth.  Hard working.  Reliable.  Responsible.  Dedicated.  Thoughtful.  Rational.  Logical.  Ambitious.  Conscientious.  Leading-by-example.  Someone-Not-Afraid-To-Get-Their-Hands-Dirty.

Keep in mind you may not find all of these traits in the same person (discovering someone who is fiercely ambitious AND humble AND conscientious is probably going to be difficult!  However, once someone has done a lot of their personal growth work (or, if they have bunches of solid, positive karma to start with), then if they have a strong Saturn in their chart, they should acquire most of these traits.  And keep in mind we surface many different “parts of ourselves” when it is skillful to do so – finding someone who exhibits all of these traits all the time would be a little bizarre.

You could argue that Saturn by itself can be boring.  Because you do not see the keywords: “creative,” or “exciting,” or “dynamic,” or “fiery,” up there.  No you don’t, but that is the beauty of human being-ness.  You will rarely ever find someone who is ONLY a strong Saturnian and nothing else from the other planets.  For instance, if someone has a strong Saturn in addition to having Uranus in aspect to their Sun and Venus, then you would find Creativity, Magnetism, a Quick Intelligent Mind, etc in their list of qualities, ALONG with some of those Saturnian traits above.

To touch on the thought that Saturn might be a touch boring or predictable, wouldn’t you rather have someone who comes home when they say they will?  (Responsibility, Reliability, someone with a Strong Sense of Duty)  Personally I would rather be with a Saturnian than with a deceptive, mystical, creative, disembodied, (and / or) romantic Neptunian.  Sure, the Neptunian would be fun for a time…  but goodness me!  I can only stand someone who is disembodied for a short period of time.  I want to be with someone whose word means a lot – if they say they will do something, then you can take that to the bank.  Yes!  (Now if you merge the compassionate spirituality of Neptune with the grounded, step-by-step qualities of Saturn, then you have something beautiful to behold for sure!)

Keep in mind, I am painting a rather one-sided picture of Saturn.  There are some Saturnian traits which only the individual who is suffering from them can peel apart – Skepticism.  Cynicism.  Pessimism.  The-I-Will-Puncture-Your-Lofty-Dreams-Dose-Of-Reality (which can also be a great gift.)  This is why it is good that our personalities typically come with more than just a One-Planet dominated astrology chart.  For instance, having a strong Jupiter will add some healthy optimism, broad-mindedness and dreaminess.  Having a strong Sun will add charisma and fire and a natural tendency to lead (especially when combined with Saturn).  A strong Mars might add some ambition and fiery competition and a desire to move the body.

As you can see, this is not an easy one-size-fits-all kind of subject.  Astrology is a very complex topic, just as psychology is a complex subject.  Often we see many only-children being spoiled, however we can also see many only-children being grounded and practical and incredibly in touch with reality.  Likewise, Saturn comes in many shapes and sizes and in many flavors.  Our personal frequency (or karma) determines what we do with the energies of our charts.  However, the chart will always be a good benchmark or a good place to start investigating someone’s inner essence.

Good luck!

Kirby Moore offers Spiritual Astrology interpretations.  He specializes in working with individuals and with couples for Relationship Astrology, the Timing Aspects in Astrology and Natal Astrology.  You can contact him for an interpretation at (434) 465. 0603 or you can visit his website for further information: www.mkirbymoore.com

School mode

I have started taking Microbiology at the community college as I take pre-requisites for nursing school.  It is an interesting class.  You can tell this is a pre-med or pre-nursing type class though.  We will learn how bacteria and other microbes function, learn about their structures and it seems like we are learning how to “fight” them when / if necessary.  I wonder if there could be a different approach?  See more below.

In addition, with school mode comes a natural discipline.  There are many assignments due, and I have not seen how thorough an exam is, so I intend to get an “A” by studying long and hard.  I think this will be good prep for nursing school.

Plus it is nice to start being settled, as I have had a busy past couple months (moving to and then from Florida, seeking jobs down there, and now getting moved into a place in Charlottesville).  I am finally feeling like I have a breath of fresh air, hence the opportunity to blog a little.

Regarding Microbiology, I wonder what it would be like to learn about the bio-flora in the gut and how to keep / make them happy.  I hope to do some extracurricular study about this as a couple of my friends have asked about this topic.

It seems that people who are more “alternative” occasionally have a strong distrust of the medical system, and I think that explains the weird responses I get from people when I tell them what I am studying.  But it just so happens that Nurses are the most trusted group of professionals – more than firemen or police or doctors.  I think that has to do with the way in which nurses are taught to empirical science – if you can show that a treatment works over a series of trials, then that means it probably works for a broad population.  And on top of the empirical science, obviously nurses do manipulative medicine (hands on healing, or healing presence, or massage, or other modalities they might learn on the side) and they have some of the best bed side manners (they also are given time to spend with patients).

So again, I am content with the way things are unfolding at present.  I am slowly getting back in the groove of doing school.  I think the nerves are wearing off – I do need an “A” but I might be fine if I continue to study a bunch.  And perhaps I will have to do a little bit of studying on the side to learn about what I really care about, but who knows, that might make me a better nurse down the road as well.

Thanks for reading!

Precious teacher time

I sit here waiting for my passenger to arrive, as I am about to embark on a long journey back to Virginia.  And as I wait, I ponder what the two previous days have been like as I got to spend them at a retreat center with my heart teacher.

I was out here a few days ago, and at that point, I recall how timid I was to get my hands dirty.  I helped him with some trim work, but I was basically just an assistant who held things, handed him tools and held the light as we got started late in the day.  And then I remember how I wanted desperately to change that part of me – the delicate, “oh I do bodywork with my hands, I must not get them dirty” part of me.  (There may be value to protecting my hands for obvious reasons, but if I wear gloves, then I can do just about anything and they are fine!)  And I succeeded.  Yes, definitely succeeded!

So what did we do the past couple of days?  Honestly, I’d say we cut down and then moved at least 10,000 lbs of trees – most were dead but we did cut down a couple that were in precarious positions that were quite alive.  Normally I might balk at chopping down live, healthy trees, but when it is my heart teacher doing the cutting, I wonder if my objections have any worth to begin with!  And if there are any tree spirits getting upset, I am certain he is negotiating with them somehow.

We built a large bonfire with all the dead wood.  Plus we cleared out the bamboo grove to allow for people to pitch tents at this upcoming Winter Retreat they are having down here (Drong Ngur Jangchubling – Wesley Chapel, Florida).  It looks to be a rocking retreat by the way.  Too bad I am going to be in school.

But I got to pose a few Dharma questions to my teacher.  I got to share meals with him.  And I was blessed to get my hands dirty.  In fact, yesterday I was so eager to clean up the retreat center property that I just spontaneously started weeding and dead heading several beds!  I was impressed  🙂   And I cleaned out a lot of dead plants which were very dry and made the bonfire that much larger (if only for a few minutes).

Actually at one point (and then it happened again), we cut down trees that were leaning precariously out over the pond.  Rinpoche figured they would fall in the water soon and he wanted to clear up the land – make it seem larger by clearing some of the bushes and lower trees.  Anyway…  I tied a rope to the tree trunk ensuring it could not fall in the water and become irretrievable.  And guess what I was reminded of?  Keep in mind the water is extremely gunky with algae and mud…

I was reminded of the scene in “The Empire Strikes Back” when Luke’s X-wing fighter sinks deeper into the swamp.  I was kind of hoping Rinpoche would use some sort of energy (or the Force) to raise the tree out of the water…  🙂  Then I would be amazed!  Instead, I had to be amazed at his humility as we spent the next hour pulling that tree and another out of the water.  We had to slowly and painstakingly (grunting with exertion) drag a little of the trunk out of the water and then use the chainsaw when we had the opportunity to lighten the load.  So some of the wood had to dry out before it was thrown on the fire!

There is something mystical about sitting and watching a fire.  It is almost as if it is alive with its own energy and volition.  Of course the winds affect it too.  But it was primal and beautiful to tend the fire from time to time.  Oh – and burning bamboo is a hoot.  The workers next door, working on the road, remarked that we had been burning bamboo the previous day, so they calmed their coworkers to remain calm – all the popping was bamboo.  I’m assuming they meant, it is not gun fire, rather it is safe.  Hey, we are in Florida.  From everything I have heard down here, those words of caution are necessary (ugh!).  🙂

As usual though (when spending legitimate, dedicated time at a retreat center with an authentic Lama), I was rewarded last night with a cool dream.  When I ran it by Rinpoche this morning, he said it was a good dream.  It did not have literal meaning as far as I know, but I do want to spend time soon working to interpret it.

A “mundane” day with my heart teacher

I had the good fortune to spend a day with my heart teacher, Drupon Thinley Nyingpo.  I had planned to take him out to lunch, considering I live in Virginia and he lives in Florida (when he is not traveling for his various teaching commitments).  Therefore I might only get to see him once or twice per year, so I wanted to take advantage of my quick trip down to Florida.  And fortunately he was in town the whole time I was down there.

We went out and I had the blessing of driving him, meaning my car was blessed, even if temporarily.  As we were heading out, we stopped at a long traffic light and a crow flew right over the hood and then landed on the median next to my door.  I looked over and Drupon la had a mischievous gleam in his eye.  I watched and the crow fearlessly walked right up to my door, as if he wanted me to open it and then he would have had a conversation with my teacher.  It definitely seemed more fearless than normal.

I asked Drupon la as I had heard that crows are associated with Mahakala, which is a Dharma protector in Buddhism.  And Drupon confirmed my assumption.

That was the only curious happening on the way to the restaurant.  Then we ate at a delicious Asian Buffet, so there was lots to choose from.  Then we came back and worked on the car a little.  It needed to be jumped as it had been sitting for a while, then we washed it.  I got to rescue some frogs – they had taken shelter in the space between the doors and the trunk area.  They were slimy and I’m pretty sure they pissed on my hand.  But it was about to freeze that night so they needed to be moved!

We went to Home Depot for some trim as Drupon wanted to finish the retreat hut.  I was amazed at how much had been done on it since I was there last.  And actually, Drupon had only been back about 3 weeks including the holidays, so that means he had done a lot on it very recently.  When I left, it reminded me of a large storage shed – cedar plywood was the floors and the walls, and the “ceiling” was just rafters with the plywood on top.  You could see the shingle nails poking through.

Then when I checked it out, it had been completely transformed – it had faux wood flooring, bead board wall paneling, a drop drop ceiling and there was trim everywhere, except between the floor and the walls.  So that is what Drupon and I completed.  I should say he completed.  I merely held the light and fetched tools and put down caulk.  It was pretty cool.  I have some building experience but it has been years, so it was fun to be a part of that process!558001710_a4aae7fb76

One of the things I miss about Florida is the variety of birds.  A large red tailed hawk flew right by me as I pulled into the center and then later as I was leaving.  The trees are pretty thick, so it has to fly at a lower level to get into and out of its nesting tree.  That was pretty cool.  Then there were the local cranes – (I think they are cranes, have not looked it up yet) tall grey water birds – passed through the Dharma Center’s yard.

 

Amazing!

Teeny Tiny Insights into Animal Communication

This material is copyrighted by M. Kirby Moore.  Reproduction without permission is prohibited.  Thank you for visiting!

Several people have remarked that I am a dog or cat whisperer.  I’m not so sure.  I have heard of animal communicators being able to easily “hear” or feel what an animal is feeling, needing, thinking.  For me it is different.  I don’t think I am one of those “special” types of animal communicators…  but maybe.  🙂

Now don’t get me wrong.  I love animals and I always have.  When I was in middle school, having a cat on my lap was one of the things that helped me get through that stressful time.   And when I can (when I live in a pet-friendly location), I have had a cat living with me as an adult.  And if I am unable to have my cat with me, then he lives at my parents’ home, along with a dog and several other felines.

So what do I do?  What do I notice about animals?  First, I have noticed that most (rescue) animals have some form of abuse they are recovering from – whether neglect or some other traumatizing experience.  And therefore these animals are similar to humans in that they require time to develop trust.  You can’t just feed a dog once and expect it to open its heart to you.  You have to spend time with the dog – my parents’ dog Max- practically thinks I am his primary owner because of how much attention I give to him when I am around.  He will always lie down at my feet when I am sitting on the couch or at the computer.  That is because I “listen” to his non-verbal cues – when he wants to play, if it is light outside and decent weather, then I go play ball with him.  He loves to fetch, he loves to be chased and he loves to play keep away from / with me.  He is awesome if you can get into that energy with him.  But this relationship with him has taken months or years of development.  He now knows that I am his buddy and that if he makes a strong request, I will probably honor it.  And as a result, he plays with me in ways that make my little brother jealous.  My brother asks, “Why won’t he do that with me?”  And my answer is, “Because he does not trust you yet.  Your behavior is inconsistent and unpredictable.”

Then there is Rocky, my parents’ previously feral kitty.  Rocky was a stray cat some years ago.  But he could be seen from time to time eating the other cats’ food on the porch.  Then they noticed that he had some kind of abscess or other disease causing his side to appear caved in – there was something wrong with him for sure.  So I took it upon myself to wean him onto human contact.  It took two weeks, but I slowly left trails of food leading to me as I sat motionless on the porch.  At first, he ate the food far away from me and then scampered off.  Then he slowly crept closer to me, eating the food and watching me suspiciously.  And finally, toward the end of the two weeks, he ate the food leading up to and near me.  So I touched him and he skipped off.  The next day he got close again, but this time he allowed me to pet him a little before bolting.  And on the last day, I was able to pet him more and more.

Then he was on the porch more often.  So another day, I put a little trail leading to me again and he ate it, coming up to me.  So I plopped him in my lap.  He promptly jumped away.  But then he ate more food from my hand.  I put him in my lap again.  He jumped off immediately!  This continued for about half an hour.  In fact, to this day, he is still rarely happy if you put him in your lap.  Sometimes, if he is the one initiating it, he will lie in your lap for a short time.  But now he will come when he is called.  He will happily sit next to you if you are nice to him.  He is a very unusual cat to be sure – wagging his tail when he is happy, coming when he is called, being the smallest cat and yet acting like the alpha male.  But my parents attribute his being in their home because of me.  I’m not too sure 🙂

And the last cat story is about Pumpkin, my parents’ anti-social kitty.  He hates being picked up.  He will only lie close to you if it involves a comfortable bed.  These and other anti-social behaviors make him a pariah in their house.  But he is actually misunderstood.  I took it upon myself to spend time with him to discover what he needs or how he could fit into their home easier.  And I was pleasantly surprised with what I found.

Pumpkin is a sweet kitty.  He is the rolly-polly type of cat.  When he is outside, he rolls in the grass or the gravel when you are walking near him.  But once he gets inside the house to eat, he starts acting anti-social (unless you are about to feed him).  Anyway…  I spent about a month out there and I had some time to work with this sweet cat.  I found that he was actually comfortable being pet if you touched him very lightly.  Any firm pressure and he would bolt.  But a light touch or a light stroke and he would eventually start doing the head rubbing on the couch or the covers of the bed.  Plus he will eventually start purring.  I would spend time petting him and just wishing him well and eventually he started to come around (but only with me).  He would let me sit next to him without running away and he would let me walk right up to him outside.  In fact, one day I picked him up and put him in my lap which would never last long in the past.  He wanted to leave, but I reassured him – petting him and restraining him.  Eventually I lay down and put him on my chest – again he tried to leave and I “reassured” him.  He fell asleep on my chest.  It was a first for this previously anti-social cat!  My mother was shocked – “Is that really Pumpkin?!”

Unfortunately, he is a skittish cat and my 16-year old brother ran into the house, scaring Pumpkin.  And the cat left claw marks where he dug into my chest to zip away.  Youch!!!  So I learned my lesson too!

There was a time when I was running after the dog outside and we scared Pumpkin into the woods.  Eventually the dog got away from me and I was walking back.  Pumpkin was still in the tangled roots of a large fallen tree.  He was obviously seeking its shelter and protection.  But I called him, squatting down and making myself low.  Soon he came to me which was a huge surprise.  These days, if you call to him and sit on the ground (this is only outside), he will come slowly, then roll around a bit.  Then he will approach a little more, and then roll around some more.  It is a frustrating process but he will eventually get into petting range  🙂

Once you do establish trust with an animal which can take months, they will let you know if you blow it!  There was one day I was staining the deck when Rocky approached – obviously to come close to me and make contact with me.  But he would have gotten stain on his precious little paws!  So I stomped and hissed and shouted at him to run away, and he got the message, but he meowed at me in a tiny whiny voice (which was actually very strange – he is the one cat which rarely, if ever vocalizes his needs).  It took a day or two to regain his trust, but I tried to tell him I did that for his protection.

So basically the moral of this story is to take it slowly with animals.  Be clear with them – if you can’t commit much time every day to petting them or spending time with them, you should tell them you are busy.  They want to make contact with you.  They want to share their hearts with you.  But only if you show them you are worthy of such an honor.

Thanks for reading!

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