Meditation Informs Healing Facilitation

Touched by Gyalwa Rinpoche

Today, in the chilly shade of Downtown Charlottesville, I stood among dozens of Tibetans, along with a few other non-Tibetan people, waiting just to get a close up glimpse of His Holiness the Dalai Lama. I had arrived at the Paramount Theater much too early to get inside. As I pondered what to do next at that early hour, friends of mine in the Tibetan community mentioned that people were going to wait for Gyalwa Rinpoche behind the building, to greet him as he arrived.

We waited for nearly two hours. I started shivering and wondering what the hell I was doing. Luckily I met a young Vietnamese man whose pleasant, yet idle conversation distracted me from the cold. I obviously had not dressed for chilly fall weather.

We were rewarded though, for off in the distance we could hear sirens. Then dozens of police motorcycles poured down the street, followed by state police and then by several dark official looking state-department vehicles. Sure enough, a black Cadillac pulled up to the curb, and we were nearly all, in a hushed manner, chanting little mantras and prayers, being so glad for this good fortune.

I was somehow among several Tibetan children and young adults, which I thought was fitting. My afflicted mind, when compared to some devoted Tibetans I know, is very child-like. His Holiness slowly got out of the car and looked around. The dark sunglasses surrounding him allowed him to come toward us, knowing his routine. We were lined up along a street, and the police had stopped traffic, so His Holiness slowly went up the line of local pilgrims. He did not shake many hands or take any Khatas (the white offering scarf with heartfelt Tibetan words and the Eight Auspicious Symbols on them). He did pat multiple children on the head.

His Holiness seemed a little frail or weak or tired. I’m not sure which. I had no idea why I expected otherwise. Maybe I was just hoping that he could bypass the aches of time (he just turned 77 in July). I think he glanced at me initially, along with viewing the line of Tibetan youngsters and others, and my ego was hoping for recognition or a smile at least. I did not get one, which I also think was fitting.

Gyalwa Rinpoche went halfway down the line of Tibetans and well-wishers before he was herded back toward the Theater where he would be talking shortly. Then he was gone.

So why am I even writing this? Because as I walked the three or four blocks to where the end of the terribly long line had settled to enter, I felt a huge wave of cathartic gratitude and grief wash over me. It was one of those moments which I have only felt in the presence of true masters. I wanted to just let go and cry right there, in my hometown, among so many people who I knew standing in line. But I had been shaking too many hands and saying too many hello’s to keep my who-am-I-being-observed-by mind out of the process. Therefore the tears welled up, but barely any fell by the time I got to the back of the line.

Nonetheless, something had happened. My heart had widened without my seeming to do anything. Expansive feelings of warmth and kindness had rushed through me, and I had wanted to cry in the one place I would have been so hesitant to do so previously.

I think, that without actually touching His Holiness, I had been hugged. Brought into a cosmic embrace with his vast awareness and universal compassion. And it was awesome.

I wonder though, in hindsight, if in expanding like I did, I also caused or permitted a subsequent contraction. After attending both of the Dalai Lama’s Charlottesville events, I felt very tired, just exhausted. My parents had also attended the afternoon event, and it is never easy for me to be completely at ease around them (I think old stuff – conditioning and the like which I am still working through). But I doubt this had anything to do with my condition.

I had been invited to a dinner with friends from out of town, and to a house blessing of another friend, with a visiting Lama from the TMC (from Frederick Maryland). Instead I just went home and collapsed. I now find myself beating myself up over this. Instead of sharing my time with friends, I slept and then went out to eat by myself. So I am noticing a mixture of emotions from the day – large surprising highs, contracted self-isolating lows, and several in between.

At least I got to connect with several Tibetan friends who I had not seen in a while and I told them I would call them. Perhaps that is the answer for me – continue to study and practice speaking Tibetan. At least I can put Geshe Jamphel Thardo’s advice into effect. Or maybe, one day I will be kind to myself and stop comparing myself to others. 🙂

Maybe.

Saturn in Scorpio, pt Two, Scorpio Rising continued

This material is copyrighted by M. Kirby Moore. Reproduction without permission is prohibited. Thank you for visiting.

If you are interested in what Kirby offers, you can also view his website at www.mkirbymoore.com for more information. This site is nearly complete, so please pardon the mess if you find it. 🙂 You can also find more about Saturn in the Spiritual Astrology category of this blog and at the Astrology page above.

This is a continuation from a previous post on this topic. Go back and start from the beginning to catch up 🙂 (peek in the Spiritual Astrology category)

Where were we? Yes, we were discussing the ramifications of Saturn in the 12th house. This is a very important time for you Scorpio Risings! Saturn only crosses the Ascendant once every 29 years. Therefore we should take advantage of this transit if at all possible. But don’t worry, generally life will do this for us. If you feel you need some guidance, then of course go out and get some counseling or coaching as it would be good to know what you want and why and be as clear as possible about it.

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Once Saturn crosses the Ascendant, several things happen. Saturn is near the Ascendant, which depending on its retrograde cycle, for as many as twelve weeks or as little as five weeks. At the moment, Saturn will push forward through early Scorpio until it arrives at 11 degrees, when it stations and turns retrograde. If you want to understand the retrograde cycle better, see previous posts about the subject in the Spiritual Astrology category.

Initially, the body / mind system is having a difficult time integrating all the changes that have been happening for the past two years (when Saturn was in the 12th house). That means it will ask for a break. When Saturn is directly conjunct the Ascendant, you will want to schedule some down time if at all possible. If you do not do this, then the conventional wisdom around this aspect is that you may get “sick.” Of course, if we have children to raise, a busy 60 hour a week job, or other major responsibilities, then it will be difficult to get the necessary time off to integrate everything that is happening. This is why it is good to get an astrology interpretation done at least once every two years, because then you will know about these Timing events well ahead of time! (As it happens, Saturn conjunct the Ascendant typically indicates that you will be busy, whether building a business, climbing the corporate ladder or caring for your family. Try to find some balance in your energy expression.)

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Where was I? Oh yes, we can get “sick” under this transit. Why? Because Saturn, even at the highest frequencies, has to do with contraction and setting boundaries. We have just turned a new leaf and we are starting a new cycle here, but we do not fully understand how this will affect our body. Therefore there can be a little “request” made by the body to slow down. Certainly (and see a licensed health care provider before implementing this advice) Vitamin C will help, as Vit C is under Saturn’s domain.

Then, once Saturn is clear of the Ascendant, we will be ready to stride boldly forward. We will want to work hard to try to implement our new project / plan / idea. Whether we are going through school, starting a new business, or other new endeavor, once Saturn is 5 degrees clear of the Ascendant, we will want to have a serious work ethic. Except, and here is the catch, we won’t know exactly what we are striving for! This is the nature of the first house. We find ourselves on a new island, in a new environment internally, but where are ultimately heading? What will this project morph into? We don’t know yet. This may not become completely clear until later, when Saturn crosses into the 4th house.

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On a health level (Medical Astrology), Scorpio is associated with the reproductive organs and with the colon. If you have a family history of issues with these organs, then under this Saturn in Scorpio transit, it would be good to get regular check ups and get any concerns resolved. But this is where it would be good to see a competent astrologer too. If you have Neptune in Scorpio (in the 1st house) or if you have Neptune in the 6th house, then it might be difficult to diagnose your health issues. So a competent astrologer will be able to look at your whole chart to see if there is a legitimate concern which should be looked into further. If we have Mars in Scorpio, Mars square Venus, Pluto in Scorpio, Pluto in hard aspect to Saturn or Mars, or a plethora of Scorpio / 8th house planets, then we should be cognizant of reproductive / elimination organs and potential health issues.

Provided there are not many other challenging transits occurring while Saturn crosses the Ascendant, if you do get sick, it will probably just be a cold or flu, which will pass when Saturn clears the Ascendant (if not sooner). While Saturn is within three degrees of either side of the Asc, do not expect to have high energy levels. Eat well, get plenty of rest, drink lots of delicious clean water and keep your kidneys warm! In other words, practice good self care and you will be fine. See previous posts to see more about Self Care topics.

If we have Jupiter or Progressed Venus making positive aspects during Saturn’s transit of Scorpio, then it will be much easier and you will have a “guardian angel” of sorts. Especially Jupiter making positive aspects to the Sun – then our energy and vitality will stay higher, no matter what Saturn is doing during that time. The strength of Jupiter versus the strength of Saturn in your chart will help to determine which planet has more “effect” in your chart.

Hopefully I covered everything I said I was going to. Actually, entire books have been written on Saturn, and on Pluto (Scorpio’s ruler), so I could easily go further. But I don’t want to spoil your fun! 🙂 I briefly touched on psychological ramifications of Saturn in Scorpio, Scorpio Rising, and I also mentioned a bit about Medical Astrology (always see a licensed health care practitioner in addition to working with Astrologers). Plus I touched on what Saturn in the 12th and 1st houses mean, at least on one level.

So in case you have not been bopped on the head enough with this concept, it is very beneficial to get your chart done by a competent astrologer. Preferably someone who has some knowledge of both psychological and health areas of this vast subject. That way you will know what else is occurring while Saturn cruises through Scorpio, and you will know what combinations to expect and when to expect them.

Thanks for reading.

Saturn entering Scorpio, pt Two, Scorpio Rising

This material is copyrighted by M. Kirby Moore. Reproduction without permission is prohibited. Thank you for visiting.

Kirby has a website available at www.mkirbymoore.com if you would like to see more of what he offers for Astrology interpretations. Astrology is a very complex subject, and it is definitely worth having your chart done by a competent Astrologer at some point.

This post is a part of a series on Saturn. You can find more posts about Saturn in the Spiritual Astrology category of this blog.

This post will primarily be for you Scorpio Risings out there. But keep in mind, that most of you who have Scorpio Rising (Ascendant), will have Saturn in your 12th house right now, so part of this post will be for that area. Also, I wrote two more extensive posts previously about Saturn in the 12th. Glance back through the Spiritual Astrology category to see more about that. Because the Rising sign plays such an important role in determining who we are (it is what we wear, appearance; it has to do with our inherited health, inherited geneology, genetic health; it has to do with what we are growing into as we mature; and the Rising sign is what we share with people who we know and trust), I am also going to suggest that this post will have a little bit of extra significance for those with their Sun in Scorpio.

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As a little tangent, which you may or may not be tired of hearing about by now :-), astrology is a very complex subject. If you know your chart well, you are in the minority of the Western population. Unfortunately the mainstream media has done a solid job of squelching authentic astrology, or by simply posting the vague horoscopes (no disrespect here), it gives astrology a hollow vapid reputation. So if you do not know what your Rising Sign is, it is definitely worth looking into. I can do your Spiritual Astrology interpretation if you would like (see my website or the Astrology page here).

Back to our subject at hand. It is my intention to superficially touch on what Saturn in Scorpio means to those with Scorpio Rising. This is because without knowing the rest of your chart, this description may be very accurate, or just moderately close. And, I intend to mention a little about psychological aspects, health aspects and potential events.

Because we are dealing with Scorpio (and Pluto by association), I am going to just tell it like it is. Sorry if this blows anyone’s mind. But I think Scorpio prefers it this way.

What does Scorpio Rising mean in general? According to Isabel Hickey, Scorpio is one of the more difficult Ascendants, because you have a lot of bound up power. Scorpio is ruled by Pluto, which is a very subconscious and even unconscious energy. It requires work and effort to unwind and unearth our gems of psychological insight and self-awareness with Scorpio on the 1st house. Plus Hickey mentions that there are basically two types of Scorpios (Rising) – the Saint or the Devil. You choose what you do with your power, and there is very little gray in this case. I usually do not like to dwell in such black and white terms, but I think she has a point. Here is why: just about all Scorpio Rising people go through a significant trial or challenge. It usually involves being wounded or traumatized early, whether sexually, emotionally or psychologically (or it could simply mean a very significant birth trauma which takes years to unpack). Generally speaking, I think most massive tests of Scorpio Rising people happen before they are eight years old (the developmental years), however, I have also known some Scorpio Rising people to come out of substance abuse with a lot of strength and resolve. So the biggest test is probably behind you, but if you are living your life in reaction or like a pinball, just bouncing from encounter to encounter without a lot of consciousness around your motivation, choices or intentions, then maybe you have a big test in front of you as well.

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So the real question is what do you do with your heart after that wounding. It is really very easy to become “me first” oriented, to close up and become manipulative, to become like the people who wounded you. It is also relatively easy, and maybe even fun for a while, to become a victim – “poor me,” “my wounding was worse than yours,” etc etc. And it can take some time to sift through our psychological layers. I think it is the rare Scorpio Rising, who has dealt with a significant wound, and always maintained a kind heart. This is just difficult to do. The ego does not want to be kind after something like that. This is why it is Saint or Devil – because there is so much power bound up in Scorpio. This sign has the potential to purify a ton of negative karma in this lifetime (which is quite a blessing) and the theory is that if the soul was not strong enough, it would not have chosen this sign on the Ascendant! Hopefully by the time they are 40 or 50, most Scorpio Risings have done some big healing work and are moving toward saintly behavior, dissolving the manipulative, devious wounds through deeper understanding and acceptance. It is important to bring illumination to your shadow material with this sign Rising. And in my work with healing facilitation, we must feel it to heal it, meaning we can definitely shift our body on a deep cellular level, but we need someone who has been there and done that (and who we trust and who knows what they are doing). To reiterate, to do most resilience-building healing work, we have to work with a qualified professional, someone we trust, who has appropriate training, etc.

Let’s lighten the conversation as that was pretty heavy stuff. 🙂 But I think it is shadow material that some people need to hear. But now I will discuss Saturn in the 12th, moving toward the 1st house.

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Saturn in the 12th House speaks of an old cycle resolving, completing, which means the inevitable beginning of a new direction. Whenever any planet crosses the Ascendant, there is a fresh start, the beginning of a new cycle, a re-birth as it were. And of all the planets transiting the Ascendant, Saturn makes for a serious fresh start. Only Uranus and the Progressed Moon play an equal or more significant role when it comes to crossing the Ascendant (and of course Pluto and Neptune are strong in this regard, but not everyone gets to experience these transits in their lifetime). When Saturn is in our 12th house, we might make some decisions which are very strange to our friends and family. This is because we feel something intuitively – something has got to go, and it may come as a shock to some of our close ones. But generally that which we release with Saturn in the 12th is usually beneficial in the long run. Of course it is important to have a mentor, someone you trust to bounce ideas off of, because the 12th house can also be the area of life where we work against ourselves – occasionally we can be our own worst enemy! (Especially if you have Saturn in your 12th house in your Natal Chart.) So if you are feeling really confused about what direction to head in life, especially with Saturn in your 12th house, then it would be wise to get some coaching or mentoring or counseling. Make certain you are as clear as possible (keeping in mind that much of this house happens unconsciously!).

Continued in the next post. Thanks for reading.

Saturn’s Entrance into Scorpio, pt One

This material is copyrighted by M. Kirby Moore. Reproduction without permission is prohibited. Thank you for reading.

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This post is more of an introduction to Saturn in Spiritual Astrology, more to follow on Saturn specifically in Scorpio.

Recently, a reader submitted a comment asking me to elaborate on Saturn’s entrance into Pluto’s domain. She mentioned that she had some planets in Scorpio, so she may have a bit more than mere curiosity riding on it. However, in order to be specific in answering her question, I need to know more. This is because Western Astrology is a complex subject, especially if it is practiced appropriately – keeping the language open ended (choice centered, frequency based) and staying away from fortune-telling-esque fatalistic predictions. And when dealing with Saturn, unfortunately it is easy to revert to older Astrological-recipe-cookbooks and talk about the delays and restrictions which Saturn can impose.

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But does Saturn have to be the stern disciplinarian? How much of the ancient, “Saturn is the edge of the solar system, therefore it guarantees a cold, distant, restrictive influence in the chart” attitude is still necessary today?

If you have read my previous posts in the Spiritual Astrology category, you will notice that I am actually a huge fan of Saturn. Even Saturn in Scorpio, even conjunct some “difficult” planets, I love Saturn and the structure and responsibility it indicates. Why is this? Because Saturn, in addition to being associated with a dry, cold, distant, contracting energy, has to do with growth, maturity and taking responsibility. It is the Buddhist’s planet (aside from Chiron, but there is a strong association between these two, which is a tale for another day. Sorry I digress.). That is, if you want to work on yourself spiritually, then you have to have many ducks in a row with regard to personal responsibility – we need to be fiscally responsible, we need to be practical in our outlook, we need to be emotionally responsible and we need to admit when we have made a mistake and act to clean up our inner and outer environs. Let me unpack these statements.

In Buddhism, the theory is that no Divine Deity can save us. The Buddha said that we must work at our own salvation. We all possess Buddhanature, a pure seed of clear-light-mind. But for the majority of people on this planet, this seed is grossly obscured by deeply ingrained patterns and umpteen bad habits. Therefore we must work to get to know ourselves better and to take responsibility for cleaning up our inner psyche – resolving misunderstandings, dissolving misconceptions and coming into a comfortable, embodied alignment. It is then that we have a chance to move forward on a spiritual path. But if we have a mindset that constantly yearns for an easy solution (Jupiter or Leo or Aries), or if we believe exclusively in magical “it-will-all-work-out-in-the-end” solutions (is there a difference between these two?) (I’m talking to you Neptune and Pisces), then we might be groping around in the dark for a long time. What I am trying to say is that we can change our karma, but it takes some effort. And this effort is Saturn’s domain.

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[I am getting on my soapbox for this paragraph.] When we seek an easy solution, a more Jovial or Neptunian resolution filled with ease and as little work as possible, then Saturn will reflect a challenge, a test or a limitation. And then, quite unfortunately, Saturn gets that bad name. We will say, “Yeah, I was doing so well, things were flowing and I was so happy; and then Saturn came along and slowed everything down, I got sick, and everything got to be so much harder.” Really? With a little disclaimer (see the end of this article below) I would argue that if this is your answer to Saturn’s call to responsibility, then you were procrastinating a bit much when things were easy, when your positive karma was manifesting, you were sitting back and soaking it all in, expecting that it would never cease. But end it always does. Impermanence is Saturn’s worst fear, and its greatest ally. Everything changes. So we should keep working on ourselves even when it disrupts our idyllic vacation from discomfort. Then, during Saturn’s transits, we can be rewarded for self-reflection and the “it hurts so good” cathartic personal growth work.

Don’t get me wrong though. Timing is everything. If we work with divination tools like the I Ching, we swiftly notice that there are times when the tide is coming in and times when it is receding, times when we must slow our roll and times when it is ideal to exert a lot of effort. There are times when we need to rest and recover. And there are times when hard work is easier, necessary even, and when it pays great dividends. And the payoff can be great. But we have to know when the tide crests and when the receding water reveals previously unknown treasures. This is where knowing the Transits and Progressions of Timing Astrology comes in handy. Because many people worry about meeting ends, getting bills paid, which is necessary of course, but it would be best to save while we have abundance, so we are prepared (a Saturnian word) for tough times.

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Astrology is a complex subject. To fully answer a question like, “I have several planets in Scorpio in my sixth and seventh houses, and here comes Saturn, what does this mean?” One must know what frequency is the individual at? Are they the type of person who respects the wisdom of taking responsibility for their lives? Or are they the type who frets about Saturn and chooses to curl up in a ball, waiting out the storm? (Which might be smart at times!) What do they do when they encounter stagnation? Because the results of spiritual practice are only revealed when we encounter difficult situations.

Then, knowing the frequency of the individual (do they have a meditation practice? Do they have a living lineage of healing wisdom that they connect with on a daily or weekly basis? Do they receive bodywork / energy work? What are their goals and objectives in this lifetime? Are they more stubborn or more open in general?), we can start to apply Spiritual Astrology to meet them where they are. But even knowing someone’s frequency, we still need to know the rest of their chart. Because Saturn’s entrance into Scorpio will be much different for someone with a Sun or Moon or Rising Sign in Scorpio than for someone with more outer planets in Pluto’s domain.

Either way though, having multiple planets in Scorpio, it would probably be good to continue reading future posts on this subject. Because Scorpio is the most powerful of all the signs (Leo and Aquarius might disagree, but ultimately, Scorpio is Pluto’s domain, and the god of the Underworld has sway over the lowest venomous energies and the highest wisdom of healing in its Minerva aspect), it is good to generate understanding about the subconscious world. It is good to know what Scorpio is about and it is good to know about Saturn. Then we can be prepared for whatever karma we may have unfolding, positive or challenging.

Therefore I will just touch the surface of this subject, because we are all approaching astrology where we are, and I cannot write a single article which will deeply touch many numerous individuals’ subjective experiences. But I will brush the surface of Saturn’s entrance into Scorpio pertaining to the houses of the horoscope.

Look for this in an upcoming post soon. Thank you for reading.

As for that disclaimer from above, occasionally, Saturn’s influence in a chart will indicate karma which we do not have a choice about. If this is the case, and I will provide examples here in a second, then my statement above does not hold water. For instance, if Saturn is doing some funky aspects in the Natal chart with Mercury, Jupiter and / or Uranus (3rd or 12th houses) and it has manifested in a learning disability, then you have to work with what you have. Do not push where pushing will cause obvious harm! We must know ourselves and work within our limits (which is also Saturnian wisdom).

Similarly if we are born with highly functional Down’s Syndrome, there will be different talents and abilities from someone else. So start where you are and only challenge yourself appropriately. Do not take my words as gospel, rather see if they work for you. If not, then please discard them 🙂

[Updated Nov 2017: I would highly recommend reading the book “Gut and Psychology Syndrome” a book by a British doctor and nutrition expert who looks at all the manifestations that an unhealthy bio-flora can cause, including ADD, ADHD, schizophrenia, depression and other mental health issues plus an unhealthy gut can lead to serious auto-immune problems! Wild stuff – and it can all possible change just by changing our diets!]

Thanks for reading,

What would you like to hear about?

Hello to my dear readers,

Please let me know if there is a subject you want to hear more about. And specifically, please be precise, because within the subject of Spiritual Astrology for instance, I can unpack a very precise topic. The same may be true for Process-oriented Bodywork and Craniosacral Biodynamics.

So I look forward to hearing your comments if you’d like to see something posted.

I have resumed work in Virginia, having arrived back from a Western adventure. However, things are a little different now that I am confident that I am moving to California for grad school in about a year. And I plan to complete the posts about those adventures West soon, that is if and when I have the time and energy.

Thanks for reading!

Pendleton Oregon Day Two

Let’s see where we left off… Yes, we’d had breakfast at Stillman Park, then watched the grand round up parade and now we were on our way to the actual rodeo.

The Pendleton Roundup is a massive undertaking, and it is incredible to imagine it is entirely run by volunteers (they only need 1200 of them). This was Friday, which was my first day, and the third full day of the rodeo. A slight tangent:

Monday and Tuesday are a separate bull riding event held in the Happy Canyon grounds (more on this later). Then the Roundup gets under way from Wed through Saturday at the large Roundup grounds. Then Sunday rolls around, and by 11am, the town is empty and quiet.

Walking to the Roundup on both days, we took the river walk. There is a levee on the Umatilla river to ensure the town does not flood, and they put a six mile paved trail on it. Very serene.

Once heading under the main highway into the city, and then ascending on the other side, the only way I can describe what met my eyes briefly would be to say that there were so many people (cowboys, Native Indians, made up women, cowgirls) and booths and teepees, that my senses were overwhelmed! There were booths selling food from various countries, Indian crafts, jewelry, saddles and leather products, Western wear plus more. Then there was an extensive Indian village set up next to the rodeo grounds with about a hundred teepees. Many Indians from near and far reservations come to participate in living, dancing and competing for the best dressed. The place was packed!

We went through the Indian village and then into the back gates, so there was neither a line nor crowds. We purposely arrived early to scope out the food offerings. I had no idea what to expect, but there were dozens of options from pizza to Mexican and German food, plus the typical fries and burgers. Unfortunately, I never tried the fried bread, which my Dad described as similar to malasadas in Hawaii (almost like donut holes), but there were several booths just specializing in fried bread. We had delightful seats, sitting in a “box” which simply meant that we were closer to the rodeo ring, without being up against the barrier fences.

The rodeo started with a bang as riders showed expert horsemanship in racing out with flags – US, Canada, Oregon and another. Then we stood for the national anthem, which was emphasized by cannon fire. On Friday we watched bronco bareback riding, saddleback riding, bull riding, calf roping and Indian (bareback) racing. We had to leave early and we missed the barrel racing and the wild cow milking. It was a lot of fun for me, and my previous concern about seeing cruelty to animals was not a problem.

I am wrapping this up quickly as I know I have less time now that I’m back to work. However, it would certainly be worth attending a major rodeo simply to see the Indian races (it was bizarre and would take many words to describe) or the wild cow milking (equally if not more bizarre and very chaotic and entertaining) or barrel racing (in which cowgirls are the ones competing).

I would like to say more. Let me know if you want to hear more about Pendleton or its grandiose Roundup.

Soft retreat, Oregon 2012

This post is about what I have been up to for the past week.

I scheduled my trip to have a week of down time in quiet Pendleton Oregon. I did this for two reasons – one, to save money by avoiding a hostel or hotel somewhere else; and two, because I knew I would want some down time after a busy three weeks. Plus when I return to Virginia in two days, I will resume my fifty hour a week job. So this is the only free week I anticipate habing until February… Hence the title of the post.

Soft retreat? Why soft? Because I wanted some freedom to go out for lunch, to write some blog posts, to go one or two places with my step-mother, and to do a little work around her church. On top of this, she is not Buddhist, has never been around a full time retreatant and does not know any of the etiquette of a retreat or my reasons for doing one. That is why I did not lock myself in a room for a week with only Dharma texts as companions.

And for those of you with retreat experience, you might be wondering why I am saying any of this. Well, I think that could be a valid concern, but in my case, I did not make any progress from a Dharmic perspective, so I think it is okay to bring different options of “retreat” to light. Had I made any progress, I would definitely be keeping my cards closer to my chest.

So what did I do all week? In addition to what I mentioned above, from time to time, I was extremely hard on myself. I wanted to complete more prostrations than my body was able to, so I berated myself for that “disappointing” result. If not prostrations, then I wanted to accumulate numbers of other mantras. But I was even able to be hard on myself in that department.

How was my “retreat” successful? Well I rested down at least an additional hour per day. I have kidneys whose subtle energy is a bit depleted, so the rest was vital and refreshing for my renals and adrenals. In addition, and you might start to wonder here, I laughed a lot. I don’t have a TV at home, so I eventually started watching the tube. And for short periods of time, it was just what I needed. Watching a silly show like the Big Bang Theory, I’d be rolling. It was actually quite remarkable. In addition, I did some self care on myself every day -usually BodyTalk.

And each day, I did some Dharma prayers. Next time, I need to drop any expectations around accumulations. I also had a few conversations with the I Ching. They would typically go like this: “I want to go for a walk and then find a nice restaurant for lunch.”

Its answer: “No go. If you push now, you will fail. Stay in the nest.”

Thankfully I would listen, and after having a little snack, I would fall asleep for a few hours -nearly everyday! So most importantly, I listened. To my body, to my intuition, to outer guidance, and after listening I chose to practice kindness to self to the best of my ability. So now I can return to work well rested and replenished at least a touch more.

So in reality, I had a quiet week, barely a retreat at all. The only I might still call it a retreat, is that on the first day I had an auspicious dream indicating that I should continue as planned. And then, last night I had three dreams, all about my birth process. I see this as a success. If my subconscious is working through my birth trauma, and I am ready to track that process through dream symbols, then this was a most successful week indeed.

Just remember, I would recommend finding a qualified teacher before attempting any kind of retreat. Get solid advice, ask all questions to clarify any doubt, and do some practice for a while to make sure you know your mind and its patterns. Then, maybe a few years into the process, you can join a group retreat to learn more about your state of mind, within a contained setting. Later on, if and when your teachers recommend it, then do a solitary retreat.

Thanks for reading.

Pendleton Oregon, Day One

I woke up very early in California to get to the airport by 6 am. Then the puddle jumper plane took 90 minutes to get to Pasco Washington. From there it was another two hours to Pendleton. Therefore I arrived a little shell shocked and needed a rest. Driving into town though, I saw booths along the streets, cars and large pick up trucks all over and many pedestrians milling about. We got lucky, arriving around 1 pm, as we were later than incoming traffic and we just had to drive slow because of all the pedestrians.

Thankfully the only plan we had for the first day was dinner at Cimmiyottis restaurant. This is a place you have to experience to believe. We ate there on “Tough enough to wear pink” night (they have this at the Roundup to support breast cancer treatments). Cimmiyotti’s has been around a while. In the past, I am certain it had a lively “parlor” atmosphere, if you catch my drift. Most of the walls either have old timey red wallpaper or, in the back, there is even a wall with velvet on it. You could just imagine the girls in gaudy dresses previously present. When we ate there, the women seemed well behaved, as they were mostly waitressing or seating new tables. This was Thursday night and thank goodness we had reservations as the line was out the door.

We had good entrees, good service and I had a nice local (San Francisco) ale. It was expensive but worth it to be able to walk around and see the place. Plus, because it was Roundup week, they had the back parking lot roped off and an additional bar set up outside. This was in addition to the live band which would start up a little later.

I was sort of in a fog with traveling, so it wasn’t until the following day that I realized how massive the Roundup was.

Day Two: We started as many Rounduppers do, with breakfast in Stillman Park. during Roundup week the local VFW post sets up enormous grills in the park and feeds an average of 4,000 people each morning! Zoicks! They flip the pancakes right there and plop them on your plate. Then they ask how you want your eggs and they put them on your plate. Finally coffee and ham round out the offerings. There is live music (they played many older songs as we went there on both days) as well.

Because this was Friday, it was the day of the big parade. By the way, let me interrupt myself for a moment. The Pendleton Roundup is the largest rodeo in the U.S. and it is second only to Calgary as one of the largest in North America. On Friday, the announced attendance was 16.5 K and then on Saturday, the place was sold out with almost 18 thousand in attendance. And everyone (except a few tourists like myself) is dolled up or wearing cowboy boots, cowboy hats, big belt buckles, jeans and button up long sleeve shirts. So you can imagine what a show it is. Okay, now back to my narrative.

Friday is the day of the parade. And it seems everyone shows up. Seriously. The parade traveled a couple miles, and every roadside space was occupied with lawn chairs, blankets, little tiny kiddie chairs (so cute!) or benches (there are hundreds of benches sponsored by local businesses which are all over Pendleton during the Roundup). And these seats came out early, as I guess people wanted front row seats! And when I say everyone shows up, I also mean in the parade.

The University of Oregon is at least four hours away, and Oregon State is even further, and yet there were horse drawn carts for both schools. (Oh, there are no vehicles allowed in the parade.) Plus various deans and both school Presidents rode by! Wow! Can anyone see UVa’s President riding a horse in a parade? Talk about coming down to earth?! Plus there were Senators, Judges, future hopeful politicians, the Mayor of Pendleton rode by, along with at least seven marching bands. There is an Indian reservation nearby, so each of those three tribes were represented (the Umatilla, the Cayuse and the Walla Walla peoples). There was the Pendleton Roundup court including the beautiful Queen and her four Princesses, plus there were Indian Princesses, all competent riders. There were many carts and carriages loaded up with people – each representing a different group or high school, etc. And they all threw candy so the kids were pleased! Finally, the Conferated Tribes of the Reservation have a large hotel and casino (the reservation employs 7,000 people) and of course they had a large wagon of Native American candy chuckers. 🙂 The parade lasted at least 90 minutes, and as you can imagine, it was followed by several city street cleaner trucks.

We took a little break, knowing it would be a long day, and then around 12:30 made our way to the Roundup grounds.

I will describe these in the next post.

Water quality on my trip

This is a frivolous post, but I’ve been considering its subject matter for a couple weeks now.

On the subject of tap water, I have been hearing some disturbing news that most filtration and cleaning processes do not get pharmaceutical chemicals, psychotropics, illegal drugs or added vitamins and minerals out before it comes out of the tap. I’m not sue if this is true or not, but if it is true, I would expect larger cities to have higher levels of these bizarre cocktails of undesired ingredients. Let’s see below to see if this theory holds any water. Ha!

This is a post about my subjective observations of the taste of tap water in all the various places I have been on this current trip.

On a scale from 0 to 10, where zero is gagging and heaving due to imbibing the water, and ten is “I’m in heavenly bliss with this ambrosial fluid,” we have a measurement tool for rating tap water. Note: I believe that one’s mineral intake needs and tastes change with different days, so this is an extremely fickle “experiment.” Obviously a ten is difficult to achieve, and we hope to god that no water gets a zero rating.

Tap water from various locations-

Honolulu water: out of the tap, ranking of 1.5, barely palatable; out of a water fountain, which probably had an additional filter on it, ranking goes up to 4.0, relatively good

Kona Hawaii water: 2.0, not good, kind of flat, can water be stale?

Hawi Hawaii water: 2.5, something is off – mineral content? in shower water seems very hard

Hilo Hawaii water: 3.0, becoming drinkable, certainly the best water out of a tap in the places I visited in Hawaii

Waikiki Hawaii water: 0.5, this was by far the worst tap water on my trip, full of chemicals like chlorine, maybe a 1.0 at best

Concord California water: something was funky, maybe a 1.5? strange new chemical mixture, not good, also had strange effects in the shower, hard water?

Berkeley California water: similar to SFO airport water, drinkable but 2.5 at best

Pendleton Oregon water: compared to what I have encountered up to this point, this small quiet country town has delicious water, I’d give it a 5.0 or 6.0, however, probably as a testament to one’s changing tastes and needs, some days I do not like the taste (but at least it is always palatable)

One of the reasons I think about this subject is because I was raised on well water, living at the base of the Blue Ridge mountains in Virginia. Therefore most any other tap water I encounter is of lesser quality. And god forbid you drink the tap water in Virginia Beach (or Waikiki), you might end up getting hooked on a mystery drug. 🙂

California Day Seven, Mt. Diablo

My last full day in California, on this trip. I still had my rental car, so I decided on an easy seeming day trip to Mt Diablo, which was close by Concord. After having spent twelve days in Hawaii, and then having visited the Muir Woods the day before, I was not expecting to be blown away. From the distance, anywhere in Concord, Pleasant Hill or Walnut Creek, one can see Mt Diablo, so its presence was quite noticeable as I came back to Concord each evening. And actually I was pleasantly surprised and quite content to have made it my day trip.

The drive up to the summit is moderately spectacular. The mountain is 3800 ft high, so not massive, but it is rising out of a near sea level plain, so the drive to the summit took two hours (I followed the slow speed limits). On the way up, I stopped at least half a dozen times, because mysterious vistas would jump out as I rounded the next bend. The mountain is very dry in September, but there is a beauty in its desert-like landscape. Plus there are more plants than you would expect from a distance. The road is incredibly winding and filled with curves, so make sure the driver is focused and alert.

Getting to the top is interesting too. There is a nice visitor center tucked under an observation deck. You will be surprised how the visitor center’s exhibits keep going. The observation deck provides some phenomenal views of the Bay Area. It was hazy, so I could not see San Francisco, but I saw Napa Valley to the north, plus you are able to have a broad 360 degree view of everything. Pretty awesome! There is also a little store in the visitor center, open from 10 to 4. So you can buy snacks and extra water if need be. It would probably be best though to bring a picnic and lots of fluids (it is very dry).

Then I sat for a little while, as is my habit when I am on a mountain top. I wanted to see what the Native Americans felt when they were up there just 100 years ago. I didn’t experience anything out of the ordinary, but I did see lots of vultures and crows. They congregated around an emergency tower. Next I opted to go for a hike.

I hiked down from the summit toward where the north and south gate roads came together. I did not have a lot of water, so I just hiked a couple miles down, and then enjoyed the hike back up. When hiking, at least in the summer, be careful as there were many small lizards on the trail, which are camouflaged and difficult to see. Plus you may see some insects with bizarre coloring. I was particularly impressed when I came across a black and white grasshopper. How fascinating!!

The park woman in the gift shop told me the best time to come up there is the late spring when the wildflowers come out. I will have to take her advice! The trail map showed a hike near some falls, but I’m assuming that would be in a wetter season. Actually there were many trails up and around the mountain which I will have to explore in the future.