Playmates and Soulmates

This material is copyrighted by M. Kirby Moore.  Reproduction without permission is prohibited.  Thank you.

On this recent retreat, I was given a brilliantly clear glimpse at one of life’s conundrums.  Anyone else wonder if there is / are a small number of people we have an immensely strong karmic connection with, perhaps with whom we have made a previous (you could say Astral [plane] or prior-to-or-within-the-Bardo) agreement with to spend significant time together in this present incarnation.  I would call this category our soulmates – rare individuals who we feel a strong pull towards, and / or have an uncanny connection with, and / or with whom we can’t get away (although this might indicate one of the more difficult connotations of the term).  And we do not meet soulmates everyday.  In fact, we may not meet them once a decade, or at least we may not recognize them as such.  I bet some people might say there is only one soulmate out there for them, a supposition I disagree heartily with.  However, for me, I would say I have only met two or three soulmates in this brief lifetime (at least in members of the opposite sex).  If there is such a thing as a solid, spiritual, platonic, reliable, unconditional friendship with members of the same sex, then I guess I would certainly say that soulmates can be of either gender.  If that is true, then I am blessed to have met a few more.

But along with having a potent and possibly intense connection with someone, does that mean that you subsequently have a lot in common?  Not a guarantee.  Does that mean you have a lot to teach each other?  Yes, perhaps if you are both open to dissolving contraction and rigidity.  Does that mean it will be easy?  No.  So, when we meet people who we have a lot in common with, but with whom we are missing that soul-rending-if-you-are-apart-connection with, but you connect on similar levels and you bring out some of the best qualities of joy and playfulness and integrity in each other, then who is that to you?  I might call them “spiritual playmates.”

I just want to be clear.  “Playmates” does not automatically connote a sexual relationship – it can, but it does not have to.  And of course, if either of you have difficulty communicating, and being open to exploring with an open mind and an open heart, and being able to rapidly adjust and flow with whatever the other is manifesting in the moment, then it would be difficult to be spiritual playmates without something arising to cause confusion or attachment or aversion.  And when conflict arises, then you both need to have a relatively flexible approach and a skillful set of tools to come out of the conflict with grace and kindness.

For me, I would prefer that my “soulmate” were also a “spiritual playmate.”  That would be ideal.  But I am beginning to think that that is a pie-in-the-sky wish.  Yes, I do hold that aspiration prayer for myself and for all beings, but think about it.  That sounds (too good to be true) perfect – meeting someone with whom you have a lot in common, and with whom you can easily play and bring out the best qualities in each other and with whom you are able to communicate with openly and fearlessly plus having that heart-connection which is very rare to find…  Yes, putting all these traits together seems like only a rare few, blessed individuals get to enjoy!  I mean I’m hoping…  but my heart is saying otherwise.

So what if we have to grit our teeth a little to be present and open and honest with one of our few soulmates?  There will definitely be times of ease within relationships.  But we all know that sometimes, growth requires discomfort!  It is only when the chick becomes too big for the egg that it starts pecking at the shell, requesting assistance from the Universe to help it out!  And for my afflicted and obstacle-filled mind, this growth-comes-about-through-discomfort is a truism.  I feel like I’ve been pecking for several years now!  🙂

Well, in the meantime, while I wait for my soulmate(s), I’d like to spend as much time as possible with spiritual playmates.  Playfully exploring, stretching, embodying, opening.

May all beings have such joy and ease and radical presence in their lives.

a message from my avocado

who are you,
that I softeningly nourish,
with such ripening joy?
I yearn to be within the mystery that is you;
waiting for just the moment,
hoping, that for too long,
I am not kept in the dark,
fretting that shadowy threads
do not criss-cross my flesh,
before I am inside your radiant body,
my beloved.

written by m. kirby moore on 2/24/12. copyrighted by mkm, please no reproduction without permission.

Soft boiled Heart

This material is copyrighted by M. Kirby Moore. Reproduction without permission is prohibited.

Soft Boiled Heart

Sometimes,
My heart hardens,
Stresses from work,
Heat from finances,
Strip and rend my humanity,
I forget who I am,
Rough, scaly edges manifest,
crystallize, form,
I get defensive; distant, selfish;
For this, I am sorry.

But now, now my sweet,
My heart has softened,
It has felt some of the best of what it is to be human,
A fantastic group inspired, uplifted, caressed me,
My heart melted in the love-surround,
Now, it longs to call out to you, “Share life with me!”
At present, I yearn to touch another, you,
And barely hesitating within novel sensation,
dare I take a risk and ask,
“Will you dance with me?”

Written by M. Kirby Moore

Playing with a Hang (drum)

Kirby Ramanan Hang drum

My friend who rents me healing space for my Craniosacral practice has a Hang (Drum) which is in that space. I have been using it as a tool for cathartic release for the past few months, sometimes arriving at harmonious sounds in the process. [It is difficult to get a good picture while actually playing the Hang. So here are some eyes-downcast shots of Ramanan and Kirby at play.]

Recently, my friend Ramanan Schultz and I have begun to jam away on the Hang, and we have discovered that we produce amazing little pieces. Unfortunately my recording device (which is good for voices) does not do our sets justice, so I am reluctant to post them here. However I am putting up the “best” one of four that we recorded.

The Hang is made from two steel sheets that are clamped together. It is hollow, so it looks a little like a UFO or a strange grill (stove). You play it by hitting one or more notes which have been hammered into the nitrided surface of the steel. On this particular Hang, there are seven notes around the outside with a central deep note, plus you can hit the rim to produce yet another tone. It is played with the hands like a drum.

The owner of this Hang says that this drum is more masculine, as she has a smaller higher pitched Hang in her living room. I am much more drawn to playing on this larger, deeper, more masculine drum.

The Hang has a stand which it sits upon to be played. However, from Wikipedia, it seems you can also play the Hang with it on your lap. This drum is pretty large though, so that might be awkward.

I was first introduced to the Hang drum by Toby Christensen, a healing drummer, who played this Hang and then put it on youtube. Not sure if that short video is still up or not.

In the future, I will try recording using an Iphone and hopefully that will produce better sound. In the meantime, enjoy!

Tibetan Medicine Symposium – contrasts between East and West

This post will actually be coming soon. (Sorry about the premature posting.) I typically give posts 5 – 7 days to brew as I make certain that all my ideas are well-organized, considered and articulated. This post violated that rule and did not fit all of these parameters, so I will refine it further and then repost soon. Thanks for visiting!

Tibetan Medicine and Meditation Symposium – Key Note Address

The Key Note Speech for the Symposium was given by Prof. Tenzin Robert Thurman. And I thoroughly enjoyed it. Now, I should add that I fancy myself to be an aspiring Buddhist practitioner, as well as an alternative health practitioner, so I was in agreement with almost everything he said. For someone else with different values and opinions, his speech might have quite a different reception.

Thurman did very little to disguise the fact that he actually gave a Dharma talk. But at least he gave it in a way that empiricists and academics could stomach. He had very little mythological or metaphysical information, but rather he started out by saying that the Buddha was one of the first authentic scientists, truly an empiricist. Thurman questioned whether or not Buddhism was a religion in the sense of the major religions of the world, what with the Buddha saying that no one can save us but ourselves.

I appreciated how Thurman said the Buddha recommended that we take responsibility for our health and for our spiritual health. That Buddhism suggests that a form of “karmic darwinianism” exists and that we are capable of a “conscious evolution” if we commit ourselves to doing more than Freud suggested, and go into the unconscious and subconscious realms and clean up our psycho-spiritual hubris. I appreciated this both as an alternative health practitioner (I have a private practice for Biodynamic Craniosacral work in C’ville Va.) and for the fact that I believe here in America, religions are too often practiced one day a week at best. I am grateful that Buddhism (and other religions too of course) challenges us to become better human beings in each moment. According to Buddhist theory, once we produce a cause, the result is guaranteed to follow. Therefore we must be careful / mindful what we say and do every second.

Thurman touched on this as well, mentioning that Buddhism is much much more than a philosophy of suffering which is often what is grasped from a superficial investigation of it. He said that any idiot can tell you about suffering, rather, what the Buddha found was that causation and interdependence is the letter of the law and that we must work to eradicate the causes of suffering. Then we can move toward nirvana and true, ultimate understanding.

Considering the title of the Symposium, Thurman eventually got onto the subjects of Tibetan Medicine and Contemplative Science. He said that in Tibetan Medicine, a part of the process of creating the Precious Pills, is that the Tibetan Doctors and Lamas chant mantras and prayers over the medicine to imbue and empower it. He therefore suggested that Tibetan Doctors send teams out to conventional pharmaceutical companies and to have these teams chant mantras and prayers over Aspirin and Tylenol pills before they leave the factory, thereby ensuring that these medicines have both an effect on the body and the mind of their imbibers.

On the subject of Contemplative Science, he mentioned that here in the West, we are exceptionally good at producing graduates who have high IQs and who have very clever brains. But he suggested that that was not enough. He quoted the Dalai Lama in saying that we need to teach good hearts in addition to clever brains. And Thurman mentioned that if possible, we needed to increase our EQs (emotional quotients). I definitely resonate with this.

Thurman was very humorous, sometimes bordering on being boisterous, and other times seeming a bit more restrained. I believe someone was recording all the speeches and panels at the Symposium, so maybe it would be possible to view his key note address. He had an hour in which to present, so he actually rushed for about fifteen minutes, then startled himself and us by stating, “Oh gosh, I have time!” Therefore the last half hour of his speech was more of a patient pace.

Tibetan Medicine and Meditation Symposium – the Maitri Project

This material is copyrighted by M. Kirby Moore. Reproduction without permission is prohibited. Thank you for reading and visiting.

This is the first post about the April 13th – 15th Symposium at the University of Virginia commemorating the opening of the Contemplative Sciences Center and the Arura Tibetan Medical Group in Charlottesville.

Friday had two events. The first was a talk by Judith Simmer Brown, a professor from Naropa University, about their Maitri program. The second, and more official, event was the opening evening with talks from Dr. Otsang Tsokchen, the President of the Arura Tibetan Medical Group, Dr. Tsem Gonthar, Prof. Robert Thurman, and a welcome from UVa’s president, Teresa Sullivan. It also featured prof. David Germano and the Dean of the Nursing School, Dorrie Fontaine.

I am going to write a little stream-of-consciousness here, please forgive this tangent. I just want to say that this symposium brought together one of the most eclectic groups of people I have ever witnessed (and been apart of). Scientists, meditation practitioners, philosophers, yogis, yoginis, psychologists, Western doctors, Tibetologists, Western nurses, Eastern doctors, alternative health practitioners, religious studies, acupuncturists, Buddhists, recovering Buddhists, neuroscientists, professors and humanists from all the various departments listed above, and more (there was even a famous Tibetan pop singer there)! Incredible!

Judith Simmer Brown gave the initial talk, which allowed her to have more time to discuss Naropa’s (Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche’s creation) project called Maitri.
Maitri means loving-kindness or friendliness in Sanskrit, where it is Metta in Pali and Champa in Tibetan (I think…) In a nutshell, Trungpa Rinpoche created a series of rooms which were meticulously played with to get the right colors, dimensions, and shapes, and then he chose different postures to hold while lying in each of these rooms. And long story short, students enter these rooms mindfully and respectfully and stay for 20 to 40 minutes at a time, silently watching their thoughts and just attempting to be present with what comes up. You can go to Shambhala’s website to see more on this practice.

My take on Dr. Brown is that she is a present, equanimous, enthusiastic, patient educator who seems to be very articulate. She did not rush her presentation in any way and she was very patient with the many questions which came up afterward in the Q & A. With that said…

I must say I went through an exotic array of emotions and reactions to her talk:
My initial reaction to this description of Maitri was, “is she serious?” It looked a bit like this idea came directly out of a science fiction novel about asylums… Seriously – who would knowingly lock themselves in a purely red, blue, green, yellow or white room for 40 minutes? Something is going to come up! And when I mention the pure colors, she said everything is the same – the ceiling, the plexiglass in the window, the carpet, the walls, everything.

Okay, yes, my initial reaction was strong and considering I have a tiny bit of experience with meditation in an organized Vajrayana Tibetan tradition, you have to admit this type of lying meditation in a colored room seems a touch too easy. Could this actually “work?”

You may chuckle at my next series of thoughts… Once she started talking about how students go through little mini “retreats” in these rooms, meditating for 6 days a week, at least 40 minutes a day, for two to three weeks, I realized, “Wow, this practice might actually do something insightful, and may even be beneficial!” And then she discussed how all students who enter these rooms have some training ahead of time and they have a solid container for discussing what might arise while in this process, meaning there is a supportive atmosphere for airing whatever arose during these meditations. This was sounding better and better! In fact, the more she talked about it, the more I was curious to try it myself.

Brown mentioned each color was associated with a “Buddha family” and that each color and family had a set of traits that went along with it. For instance, red was the lotus (padma) family and it was associated with the afflictive emotion of passion (desire and lust). And within this emotion is discriminating wisdom.

Here comes the chuckling section: Once I realized the potential implications (contemplation, increased emotional intelligence, reflection, enhanced awareness, etc) this Maitri practice could have, and I realized it was being practiced at an accredited university… I had to pinch myself to make sure I was really seeing it! I could be dreaming you know. I realized that for anyone new to meditation, this was a perfect introduction – and possibly quite a potent introduction at that!

So yes, I went from initially feeling disdain and rejection of this idea to pinching myself to make certain everything was the way it seemed to then say, “That’s brilliant!” Or at least it is a good start.

I felt this was a great way to start the symposium considering half the events were to be about contemplative science. I guess I went into this talk with all my unquestioned assumptions and stubborn opinions intact, and after a little contemplation and self-analysis, I realized some of these opinions were not correct. Yes, someone might actually get a lot out of meditating, letting go and resting down in a colored room. And to have a support group around that process is a beautiful thing. [If nothing else, lying down in a colored room and staring at the colored walls would definitely have an affect on the brain’s interpretation of the messages from the cones of the eyes – the color receptors. And who knows what this might look like?]

And now on a personal note…

Maybe I was a little jealous, as my time at the University (UVa) was a bit dry. I would have loved to have any room to take a nap or meditate in, colored or not. I was never brave enough to meditate in the chapel (actually I tried once, but people kept coming and going which was nerve-wracking). I eventually found little nooks and crannies in various libraries to rest in, but come on! At Naropa, they have a class where you get credit for meditating, and lying down to do it. Holy jamoly!

Don’t get me wrong, I am very grateful for my time at UVa, but if I could change one or two things… I would. But now that the Contemplative Sciences Center is opening, and now that I discovered the UVa Mindfulness Center, along with the Center for the Study of Complementary and Alternative Therapies (a part of the nursing school)… Most of the changes I would suggest seem to be arising. The future is bright indeed I think for meditators, scientists, neuroscientists, psychologists and religious studies (especially Tibetan) students at UVa.

This incredible initiative is actually happening at UVa. I am so very happy, and I am glad I took some time away from work to attend these inspiring, dynamic talks.

Change what goes into your body

This material is copyrighted by M. Kirby Moore. Reproduction without permission is strictly prohibited. Thanks for visiting!

A post about healthy lifestyle, diet  and the little things we can do to stay healthy.  By the way (my disclaimer), I do not claim to prevent, cure, treat or diagnose any disease – rather this blog is purely informational or for entertainment purposes, and it represents a non-licensed-medical-practitioner opinion.  With that said however, health, diet and wellness have been my hobbies since 1999, so…

In 2002, when I had a little out-of-body, near-death-experience while on the operating table having my appendix removed, I started to realize that I was just a touch different than the average American male. It only took three or four years to make the changes which the Universe immediately began to show as being necessary (I am also very stubborn). But I began to make little tiny changes in my diet and in my lifestyle choices which were suggested to me by friends and co-workers and healing facilitators, etc. And I am still doing most of these to this day.

I think I am mostly a spiritual being having a human experience. Of course I am an ordinary human being, but the pursuit of increased consciousness is important to me. Therefore, obviously I am a touch different from the average American male. So if you feel that you might be a slightly higher frequency being (one who seeks to transform their consciousness for the better, someone who is trying to stay on a spiritual path, someone who meditates regularly, or someone who takes responsibility for mistakes, etc), male or female, then these suggestions might benefit you. With that said, you don’t have to listen to any of these items, and of course, if you do, consult your doctor before changing your lifestyle / diet.

So here are some suggestions of little changes you can make to your life which I believe will slowly improve the body / mind system. I do not believe we can really separate the body from the mind – for if the body is stressed, how can the mind relax? (Unless you are a sublime being… but for the rest of us…) And likewise, if the mind is stressed, does the body relax?

Generally it takes months and / or years to make significant changes. So please don’t beat yourself up if you do all the “no-no’s” on this list. Rather, slowly (maybe change one item every few months) make a healthier choice. Please do be gentle. We all start out at different levels and with varying degrees of discipline. So for goodness sake, don’t be harsh toward yourself just because you have limits! Rather, be kind.

The list of slight changes for a healthy body:

Rather than big name brand toothpastes, use a non-fluoride toothpaste. There are many to choose from. So you can still get your flavor, or your level of abrasiveness, etc.

While I am on this subject, if possible, filter your tap water. It seems strange that low levels of arsenic / lead / mercury, and not to mention chlorine and fluoride are allowed in to our drinking water. You want to filter out the larger chemicals while keeping in some of the minerals. For instance, drinking distilled water can rob the body of some of the necessary minerals it might need.

If you have mercury amalgam dental fillings (the silver which is actually mercury ++ in your teeth), when you have the financial ability, have those fillings replaced with less-toxic resin fillings. And only go to see a dentist who knows what they are doing around this – not all dentists are created equal. There is special equipment for the removal of mercury, which begs the question of, “how is the mercury non-toxic in my teeth, but when you go to have it removed, they must install a special mercury-catcher to prevent any from being swallowed?” Huh? [Hopefully the ADA does not flip out upon reading this… purely informational! Please seek out and ask an expert before making any changes. I’m not responsible for anyone changing their lifestyle without consulting a licensed practitioner.]

Avoid antiperspirants that contain aluminum. If unable to do so, then only use it on a really busy / hot / high-pressure day.

Use eco-friendly laundry detergent. Having used non-abrasive detergents for several years now, if a friend happens to wash something of mine and they use a major name brand detergent, or some other chemical laden cleanser, my skin itches and I can smell the chemicals out-gassing from the fabric. Yuck! (And if this happens to be something I am trying to sleep in or on… good luck sleeping that night!)

When the weather turns cooler, brewing your own Kombucha might be in order. Kombucha is warming though, so it might be best to avoid drinking it during the hot summer months when the body would rather have cooling foods / drinks. See one of my previous posts about brewing Kombucha.

Avoid partially hydrogenated oils / fats. That means avoid some commercial, big name nut butters (peanut butter that has these PH oils seem more like wax or plastic than food to me). And palm oil is not much better – if possible, go for peanuts only peanut butter, which means you will have to stir it up as the oil separates. Also true for cashew butter, almost butter, sunflower seed butter, etc.

And remember, please speak with a licensed practitioner about all these things. I am not responsible for any adverse reactions to changes made in anyone else’ lifestyle or body.

And the final suggestion for food changes – dump as many processed carb foods that you can, including cereals, big-name-brand breakfast bars, etc and especially avoid foods containing high fructose corn syrup as you don’t know if that corn was genetically altered (further adding confusion to the body’s digestion) and no matter what, it will wreak havoc on your blood sugar. Best to avoid those spikes and crashes I say. Better to eat whole grains, cook your own rice, quinoa, buckwheat, millet, barley, whole grain pasta, etc.

Rather than using pharmaceutical drugs, whether prescription or over the counter, try using homeopathic medicine (seeing a homeopathic MD is best for this), or perhaps try flower essences / essential oils (maybe a Naturopathic Doctor would be best for these, or an alternative minded Registered Dietician). For instance, Arnica (homeopathic) is a good replacement of over the counter pain relievers and it is definitely less stressful on the liver.

There are many good herbs which help us to relax and / or go to sleep. And if we are stressed or traumatized (or near the verge of going into shock), then having Rescue Remedy around (flower essence blend) is very beneficial and it works wonders! Talk to an alternative health practitioner, and preferably one who is licensed about these.

And remember, find a quality health care practitioner who you trust, and ask them about any of these suggestions. Then go out and get a second opinion! You can also go to Dr. Mercola’s website to investigate health rumors and other dietary suggestions. That would be http://www.mercola.com

See also Terri Saunder’s website – Sunrise Herb Shoppe from my blog list on the RIGHT and you can read many of her well-researched articles on these subjects and more.

Thanks for reading.