Retreat in NY, May 2012

This material is copyrighted by M. Kirby Moore.  Reproduction without permission is prohibited.  Thank you for visiting.

I attended a Vajrakilaya Drupchen recently, organized by the White Lotus Buddhist Center of Rochester New York.  It was a relatively brief retreat, and especially so for me.  In this post though, I intend to objectively describe the structure and locale of the retreat.

It was held at a beautiful Zen Center (Chapin Mill) just outside of Batavia, New York, which was about forty minutes from Rochester.  On Monday, Garchen Rinpoche and Bu Nyima arrived at the airport.  We met them there and then went out to lunch at a spacious country club.  That night, Garchen Rinpoche gave an empowerment for Vajrakilaya, and it seemed there were at least 120 people in attendance.

Then, Tuesday through Friday, the Drupchen structure took effect: we took shifts at night so there was always someone chanting the mantra in the shrine room.  We also took turns with eating, so again there was always a continuous recitation occurring.  We did a morning session from 9 – 12, an afternoon session from 2 – 5 and then an evening session from 7 – 9 pm Tues – Thurs.  During these sessions, we did the same prayers with a few additions depending on whether it was the morning (where tormas were offered), afternoon or evening.  After the empowerment, our numbers dropped a little, but there may have been 80 – 100 people there for Tuesdays sessions.

The prayers were done both in English and in Tibetan.  I really, really appreciated how someone (or multiple someones) had put a lot of effort into re-translating the text such that we could chant the English words in the same melody as the Tibetan.  I’m assuming this meant shaving syllables off the old translations, choosing the right words to fit the syllable needs and that must have taken some time and skill!  I say this because the English chanting seemed just as powerful as the Tibetan, and I had never encountered this before.  In general, we did English during the morning session, Tibetan in the afternoon, and then English again in the late evening session.  Then on our night shifts, my group did the prayers in Tibetan again.  I did not attend the other groups, so I’m assuming they also did the prayers in Tibetan.

If you are wondering what the night shifts looked like, we split up into three groups.  And we had to divide the 9 pm to 7 am time up into three, so there were three shifts – 9:00 – 12:20; 12:20 – 3:40 and then 3:40 to 7:00.  We switched shifts each night, and with three nights, we got to do each shift once.  It was very intense as you might imagine.  I will explain more about this in future (more subjective) posts.

There were a total of seven Lamas and monks – Garchen Rinpoche, Bu Nyima (one of Garchen Rinpoche’s attendants and a very competent Lama in his own right), Lama Apu (he acted as the main shrine and mandala keeper), Drupon Rinchen Dorje, and Khenpo Samdrup – a teacher from the Gar Drolma Center of Ohio.  There was a teacher there named Karma Rinchen – I believe he mentioned that he was presently a resident teacher at a Ri-mey (non-sectarian) center in New York.  After I asked several questions about his background, it seems he has done one or more 3 year retreats in Lapchi.  And finally, there was a Western monk from New York.  His name was Karma Tsondru.  They all sat to the right of Garchen Rinpoche’s throne.

The center where these teachings and retreat was held was simply stunning in its brilliant simplicity and it was situated in beautiful woods and quiet nature.  Occasionally we could hear a train if we were outside, and on one occasion a couple of Army helicopters flew over, but for the most part there were only bird songs, the cries of hawks, butterflies and the rare rattlesnake sighting.  We felt like we were way out in the middle of nowhere, truly a tranquil setting!

There was a large pond closer to the entrance of the property.  Then there were two houses, one of which used to be the mill house.  Then at the end of the winding, open driveway was the large spacious Zen Center building itself.  There was lodging available in the center – there were many single rooms, a few rooms with three beds and then several rooms with four beds (which is what I slept in).  All totaled, I suspect the center could accommodate at least 50 – 60 retreatants, if not more. There was a reception area, an incredibly tranquil central courtyard, a large Zendo and several smaller shrine rooms.  We used a large, long room downstairs as the shrine room.

The gardens and flowers and walking paths were all very well kept, with benches scattered throughout the peaceful grounds.  I found a nice bench nestled away in the large bushes and woods on the first day.  It was next to a gurgling creek, so it was quite pleasant to sit in the light drizzle.

The shrine room was very long and quite wide, allowing us to fit at least 120 people on the first night for the empowerment, with ample space for people to circumambulate the mandala.  Plus the area in front of the Lamas had extra space as well.

There were red roses in each of the dozen windows of the shrine room, along with fresh flowers on the mandala.  Many colorful tormas, offerings, water bowls and candles also adorned the shrine / mandala.  I will say more about this in the next post.

Playmates and Soulmates

This material is copyrighted by M. Kirby Moore.  Reproduction without permission is prohibited.  Thank you.

On this recent retreat, I was given a brilliantly clear glimpse at one of life’s conundrums.  Anyone else wonder if there is / are a small number of people we have an immensely strong karmic connection with, perhaps with whom we have made a previous (you could say Astral [plane] or prior-to-or-within-the-Bardo) agreement with to spend significant time together in this present incarnation.  I would call this category our soulmates – rare individuals who we feel a strong pull towards, and / or have an uncanny connection with, and / or with whom we can’t get away (although this might indicate one of the more difficult connotations of the term).  And we do not meet soulmates everyday.  In fact, we may not meet them once a decade, or at least we may not recognize them as such.  I bet some people might say there is only one soulmate out there for them, a supposition I disagree heartily with.  However, for me, I would say I have only met two or three soulmates in this brief lifetime (at least in members of the opposite sex).  If there is such a thing as a solid, spiritual, platonic, reliable, unconditional friendship with members of the same sex, then I guess I would certainly say that soulmates can be of either gender.  If that is true, then I am blessed to have met a few more.

But along with having a potent and possibly intense connection with someone, does that mean that you subsequently have a lot in common?  Not a guarantee.  Does that mean you have a lot to teach each other?  Yes, perhaps if you are both open to dissolving contraction and rigidity.  Does that mean it will be easy?  No.  So, when we meet people who we have a lot in common with, but with whom we are missing that soul-rending-if-you-are-apart-connection with, but you connect on similar levels and you bring out some of the best qualities of joy and playfulness and integrity in each other, then who is that to you?  I might call them “spiritual playmates.”

I just want to be clear.  “Playmates” does not automatically connote a sexual relationship – it can, but it does not have to.  And of course, if either of you have difficulty communicating, and being open to exploring with an open mind and an open heart, and being able to rapidly adjust and flow with whatever the other is manifesting in the moment, then it would be difficult to be spiritual playmates without something arising to cause confusion or attachment or aversion.  And when conflict arises, then you both need to have a relatively flexible approach and a skillful set of tools to come out of the conflict with grace and kindness.

For me, I would prefer that my “soulmate” were also a “spiritual playmate.”  That would be ideal.  But I am beginning to think that that is a pie-in-the-sky wish.  Yes, I do hold that aspiration prayer for myself and for all beings, but think about it.  That sounds (too good to be true) perfect – meeting someone with whom you have a lot in common, and with whom you can easily play and bring out the best qualities in each other and with whom you are able to communicate with openly and fearlessly plus having that heart-connection which is very rare to find…  Yes, putting all these traits together seems like only a rare few, blessed individuals get to enjoy!  I mean I’m hoping…  but my heart is saying otherwise.

So what if we have to grit our teeth a little to be present and open and honest with one of our few soulmates?  There will definitely be times of ease within relationships.  But we all know that sometimes, growth requires discomfort!  It is only when the chick becomes too big for the egg that it starts pecking at the shell, requesting assistance from the Universe to help it out!  And for my afflicted and obstacle-filled mind, this growth-comes-about-through-discomfort is a truism.  I feel like I’ve been pecking for several years now!  🙂

Well, in the meantime, while I wait for my soulmate(s), I’d like to spend as much time as possible with spiritual playmates.  Playfully exploring, stretching, embodying, opening.

May all beings have such joy and ease and radical presence in their lives.

a message from my avocado

who are you,
that I softeningly nourish,
with such ripening joy?
I yearn to be within the mystery that is you;
waiting for just the moment,
hoping, that for too long,
I am not kept in the dark,
fretting that shadowy threads
do not criss-cross my flesh,
before I am inside your radiant body,
my beloved.

written by m. kirby moore on 2/24/12. copyrighted by mkm, please no reproduction without permission.

Soft boiled Heart

This material is copyrighted by M. Kirby Moore. Reproduction without permission is prohibited.

Soft Boiled Heart

Sometimes,
My heart hardens,
Stresses from work,
Heat from finances,
Strip and rend my humanity,
I forget who I am,
Rough, scaly edges manifest,
crystallize, form,
I get defensive; distant, selfish;
For this, I am sorry.

But now, now my sweet,
My heart has softened,
It has felt some of the best of what it is to be human,
A fantastic group inspired, uplifted, caressed me,
My heart melted in the love-surround,
Now, it longs to call out to you, “Share life with me!”
At present, I yearn to touch another, you,
And barely hesitating within novel sensation,
dare I take a risk and ask,
“Will you dance with me?”

Written by M. Kirby Moore

Playing with a Hang (drum)

Kirby Ramanan Hang drum

My friend who rents me healing space for my Craniosacral practice has a Hang (Drum) which is in that space. I have been using it as a tool for cathartic release for the past few months, sometimes arriving at harmonious sounds in the process. [It is difficult to get a good picture while actually playing the Hang. So here are some eyes-downcast shots of Ramanan and Kirby at play.]

Recently, my friend Ramanan Schultz and I have begun to jam away on the Hang, and we have discovered that we produce amazing little pieces. Unfortunately my recording device (which is good for voices) does not do our sets justice, so I am reluctant to post them here. However I am putting up the “best” one of four that we recorded.

The Hang is made from two steel sheets that are clamped together. It is hollow, so it looks a little like a UFO or a strange grill (stove). You play it by hitting one or more notes which have been hammered into the nitrided surface of the steel. On this particular Hang, there are seven notes around the outside with a central deep note, plus you can hit the rim to produce yet another tone. It is played with the hands like a drum.

The owner of this Hang says that this drum is more masculine, as she has a smaller higher pitched Hang in her living room. I am much more drawn to playing on this larger, deeper, more masculine drum.

The Hang has a stand which it sits upon to be played. However, from Wikipedia, it seems you can also play the Hang with it on your lap. This drum is pretty large though, so that might be awkward.

I was first introduced to the Hang drum by Toby Christensen, a healing drummer, who played this Hang and then put it on youtube. Not sure if that short video is still up or not.

In the future, I will try recording using an Iphone and hopefully that will produce better sound. In the meantime, enjoy!

Tibetan Medicine Symposium – contrasts between East and West

This post will actually be coming soon. (Sorry about the premature posting.) I typically give posts 5 – 7 days to brew as I make certain that all my ideas are well-organized, considered and articulated. This post violated that rule and did not fit all of these parameters, so I will refine it further and then repost soon. Thanks for visiting!

Tibetan Medicine and Meditation Symposium – Key Note Address

The Key Note Speech for the Symposium was given by Prof. Tenzin Robert Thurman. And I thoroughly enjoyed it. Now, I should add that I fancy myself to be an aspiring Buddhist practitioner, as well as an alternative health practitioner, so I was in agreement with almost everything he said. For someone else with different values and opinions, his speech might have quite a different reception.

Thurman did very little to disguise the fact that he actually gave a Dharma talk. But at least he gave it in a way that empiricists and academics could stomach. He had very little mythological or metaphysical information, but rather he started out by saying that the Buddha was one of the first authentic scientists, truly an empiricist. Thurman questioned whether or not Buddhism was a religion in the sense of the major religions of the world, what with the Buddha saying that no one can save us but ourselves.

I appreciated how Thurman said the Buddha recommended that we take responsibility for our health and for our spiritual health. That Buddhism suggests that a form of “karmic darwinianism” exists and that we are capable of a “conscious evolution” if we commit ourselves to doing more than Freud suggested, and go into the unconscious and subconscious realms and clean up our psycho-spiritual hubris. I appreciated this both as an alternative health practitioner (I have a private practice for Biodynamic Craniosacral work in C’ville Va.) and for the fact that I believe here in America, religions are too often practiced one day a week at best. I am grateful that Buddhism (and other religions too of course) challenges us to become better human beings in each moment. According to Buddhist theory, once we produce a cause, the result is guaranteed to follow. Therefore we must be careful / mindful what we say and do every second.

Thurman touched on this as well, mentioning that Buddhism is much much more than a philosophy of suffering which is often what is grasped from a superficial investigation of it. He said that any idiot can tell you about suffering, rather, what the Buddha found was that causation and interdependence is the letter of the law and that we must work to eradicate the causes of suffering. Then we can move toward nirvana and true, ultimate understanding.

Considering the title of the Symposium, Thurman eventually got onto the subjects of Tibetan Medicine and Contemplative Science. He said that in Tibetan Medicine, a part of the process of creating the Precious Pills, is that the Tibetan Doctors and Lamas chant mantras and prayers over the medicine to imbue and empower it. He therefore suggested that Tibetan Doctors send teams out to conventional pharmaceutical companies and to have these teams chant mantras and prayers over Aspirin and Tylenol pills before they leave the factory, thereby ensuring that these medicines have both an effect on the body and the mind of their imbibers.

On the subject of Contemplative Science, he mentioned that here in the West, we are exceptionally good at producing graduates who have high IQs and who have very clever brains. But he suggested that that was not enough. He quoted the Dalai Lama in saying that we need to teach good hearts in addition to clever brains. And Thurman mentioned that if possible, we needed to increase our EQs (emotional quotients). I definitely resonate with this.

Thurman was very humorous, sometimes bordering on being boisterous, and other times seeming a bit more restrained. I believe someone was recording all the speeches and panels at the Symposium, so maybe it would be possible to view his key note address. He had an hour in which to present, so he actually rushed for about fifteen minutes, then startled himself and us by stating, “Oh gosh, I have time!” Therefore the last half hour of his speech was more of a patient pace.

Tibetan Medicine and Meditation Symposium – the Maitri Project

This material is copyrighted by M. Kirby Moore. Reproduction without permission is prohibited. Thank you for reading and visiting.

This is the first post about the April 13th – 15th Symposium at the University of Virginia commemorating the opening of the Contemplative Sciences Center and the Arura Tibetan Medical Group in Charlottesville.

Friday had two events. The first was a talk by Judith Simmer Brown, a professor from Naropa University, about their Maitri program. The second, and more official, event was the opening evening with talks from Dr. Otsang Tsokchen, the President of the Arura Tibetan Medical Group, Dr. Tsem Gonthar, Prof. Robert Thurman, and a welcome from UVa’s president, Teresa Sullivan. It also featured prof. David Germano and the Dean of the Nursing School, Dorrie Fontaine.

I am going to write a little stream-of-consciousness here, please forgive this tangent. I just want to say that this symposium brought together one of the most eclectic groups of people I have ever witnessed (and been apart of). Scientists, meditation practitioners, philosophers, yogis, yoginis, psychologists, Western doctors, Tibetologists, Western nurses, Eastern doctors, alternative health practitioners, religious studies, acupuncturists, Buddhists, recovering Buddhists, neuroscientists, professors and humanists from all the various departments listed above, and more (there was even a famous Tibetan pop singer there)! Incredible!

Judith Simmer Brown gave the initial talk, which allowed her to have more time to discuss Naropa’s (Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche’s creation) project called Maitri.
Maitri means loving-kindness or friendliness in Sanskrit, where it is Metta in Pali and Champa in Tibetan (I think…) In a nutshell, Trungpa Rinpoche created a series of rooms which were meticulously played with to get the right colors, dimensions, and shapes, and then he chose different postures to hold while lying in each of these rooms. And long story short, students enter these rooms mindfully and respectfully and stay for 20 to 40 minutes at a time, silently watching their thoughts and just attempting to be present with what comes up. You can go to Shambhala’s website to see more on this practice.

My take on Dr. Brown is that she is a present, equanimous, enthusiastic, patient educator who seems to be very articulate. She did not rush her presentation in any way and she was very patient with the many questions which came up afterward in the Q & A. With that said…

I must say I went through an exotic array of emotions and reactions to her talk:
My initial reaction to this description of Maitri was, “is she serious?” It looked a bit like this idea came directly out of a science fiction novel about asylums… Seriously – who would knowingly lock themselves in a purely red, blue, green, yellow or white room for 40 minutes? Something is going to come up! And when I mention the pure colors, she said everything is the same – the ceiling, the plexiglass in the window, the carpet, the walls, everything.

Okay, yes, my initial reaction was strong and considering I have a tiny bit of experience with meditation in an organized Vajrayana Tibetan tradition, you have to admit this type of lying meditation in a colored room seems a touch too easy. Could this actually “work?”

You may chuckle at my next series of thoughts… Once she started talking about how students go through little mini “retreats” in these rooms, meditating for 6 days a week, at least 40 minutes a day, for two to three weeks, I realized, “Wow, this practice might actually do something insightful, and may even be beneficial!” And then she discussed how all students who enter these rooms have some training ahead of time and they have a solid container for discussing what might arise while in this process, meaning there is a supportive atmosphere for airing whatever arose during these meditations. This was sounding better and better! In fact, the more she talked about it, the more I was curious to try it myself.

Brown mentioned each color was associated with a “Buddha family” and that each color and family had a set of traits that went along with it. For instance, red was the lotus (padma) family and it was associated with the afflictive emotion of passion (desire and lust). And within this emotion is discriminating wisdom.

Here comes the chuckling section: Once I realized the potential implications (contemplation, increased emotional intelligence, reflection, enhanced awareness, etc) this Maitri practice could have, and I realized it was being practiced at an accredited university… I had to pinch myself to make sure I was really seeing it! I could be dreaming you know. I realized that for anyone new to meditation, this was a perfect introduction – and possibly quite a potent introduction at that!

So yes, I went from initially feeling disdain and rejection of this idea to pinching myself to make certain everything was the way it seemed to then say, “That’s brilliant!” Or at least it is a good start.

I felt this was a great way to start the symposium considering half the events were to be about contemplative science. I guess I went into this talk with all my unquestioned assumptions and stubborn opinions intact, and after a little contemplation and self-analysis, I realized some of these opinions were not correct. Yes, someone might actually get a lot out of meditating, letting go and resting down in a colored room. And to have a support group around that process is a beautiful thing. [If nothing else, lying down in a colored room and staring at the colored walls would definitely have an affect on the brain’s interpretation of the messages from the cones of the eyes – the color receptors. And who knows what this might look like?]

And now on a personal note…

Maybe I was a little jealous, as my time at the University (UVa) was a bit dry. I would have loved to have any room to take a nap or meditate in, colored or not. I was never brave enough to meditate in the chapel (actually I tried once, but people kept coming and going which was nerve-wracking). I eventually found little nooks and crannies in various libraries to rest in, but come on! At Naropa, they have a class where you get credit for meditating, and lying down to do it. Holy jamoly!

Don’t get me wrong, I am very grateful for my time at UVa, but if I could change one or two things… I would. But now that the Contemplative Sciences Center is opening, and now that I discovered the UVa Mindfulness Center, along with the Center for the Study of Complementary and Alternative Therapies (a part of the nursing school)… Most of the changes I would suggest seem to be arising. The future is bright indeed I think for meditators, scientists, neuroscientists, psychologists and religious studies (especially Tibetan) students at UVa.

This incredible initiative is actually happening at UVa. I am so very happy, and I am glad I took some time away from work to attend these inspiring, dynamic talks.