This material is copyrighted by M. Kirby Moore. Reproduction without permission is prohibited. Thank you.
On this recent retreat, I was given a brilliantly clear glimpse at one of life’s conundrums. Anyone else wonder if there is / are a small number of people we have an immensely strong karmic connection with, perhaps with whom we have made a previous (you could say Astral [plane] or prior-to-or-within-the-Bardo) agreement with to spend significant time together in this present incarnation. I would call this category our soulmates – rare individuals who we feel a strong pull towards, and / or have an uncanny connection with, and / or with whom we can’t get away (although this might indicate one of the more difficult connotations of the term). And we do not meet soulmates everyday. In fact, we may not meet them once a decade, or at least we may not recognize them as such. I bet some people might say there is only one soulmate out there for them, a supposition I disagree heartily with. However, for me, I would say I have only met two or three soulmates in this brief lifetime (at least in members of the opposite sex). If there is such a thing as a solid, spiritual, platonic, reliable, unconditional friendship with members of the same sex, then I guess I would certainly say that soulmates can be of either gender. If that is true, then I am blessed to have met a few more.
But along with having a potent and possibly intense connection with someone, does that mean that you subsequently have a lot in common? Not a guarantee. Does that mean you have a lot to teach each other? Yes, perhaps if you are both open to dissolving contraction and rigidity. Does that mean it will be easy? No. So, when we meet people who we have a lot in common with, but with whom we are missing that soul-rending-if-you-are-apart-connection with, but you connect on similar levels and you bring out some of the best qualities of joy and playfulness and integrity in each other, then who is that to you? I might call them “spiritual playmates.”
I just want to be clear. “Playmates” does not automatically connote a sexual relationship – it can, but it does not have to. And of course, if either of you have difficulty communicating, and being open to exploring with an open mind and an open heart, and being able to rapidly adjust and flow with whatever the other is manifesting in the moment, then it would be difficult to be spiritual playmates without something arising to cause confusion or attachment or aversion. And when conflict arises, then you both need to have a relatively flexible approach and a skillful set of tools to come out of the conflict with grace and kindness.
For me, I would prefer that my “soulmate” were also a “spiritual playmate.” That would be ideal. But I am beginning to think that that is a pie-in-the-sky wish. Yes, I do hold that aspiration prayer for myself and for all beings, but think about it. That sounds (too good to be true) perfect – meeting someone with whom you have a lot in common, and with whom you can easily play and bring out the best qualities in each other and with whom you are able to communicate with openly and fearlessly plus having that heart-connection which is very rare to find… Yes, putting all these traits together seems like only a rare few, blessed individuals get to enjoy! I mean I’m hoping… but my heart is saying otherwise.
So what if we have to grit our teeth a little to be present and open and honest with one of our few soulmates? There will definitely be times of ease within relationships. But we all know that sometimes, growth requires discomfort! It is only when the chick becomes too big for the egg that it starts pecking at the shell, requesting assistance from the Universe to help it out! And for my afflicted and obstacle-filled mind, this growth-comes-about-through-discomfort is a truism. I feel like I’ve been pecking for several years now! 🙂
Well, in the meantime, while I wait for my soulmate(s), I’d like to spend as much time as possible with spiritual playmates. Playfully exploring, stretching, embodying, opening.
May all beings have such joy and ease and radical presence in their lives.