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Posts Tagged ‘what does it mean to be corded to someone?’

This material is copyrighted by M. Kirby Moore.  Reproduction without permission is prohibited.  Thank you for visiting!  If you want to support my blogging efforts you can click on the ads below or you can visit http://www.mkirbymoore.com to purchase Astrology Interpretations and see what else I offer.

For anyone new to my blog, in addition to writing about Buddhism (Dharma) and Spiritual Astrology, I also write about Healing Facilitation work as I have a private practice offering Process-Oriented Bodywork, Reiki, Craniosacral Therapy and trauma resolution.  This post is about the latter modalities.

I just participated in a class today where I was the teaching assistant.  I have taken hundreds of hours of Craniosacral classes, dozens more of other bodywork courses, so the teacher allow me to sit in her class and hold space for the students.  I occasionally coach them if they need it, but not so much today.

The class was Craniosacral level III – so all the participants are fairly advanced in their practice.  One or two of the students already have practices where they offer massage and / or craniosacral work.  Considering I am coming to this class from a very busy life – doing school (prepping for nursing school), working full time and trying to be present for a romantic relationship when I am able…  I needed to hit the brakes quick and this class provided just what I needed for that.

Due to this being a more advanced class, the teacher dove right in and started with some deeper topics.  Today the topics were two-fold: cords and the correlation of the physical vectors of the body, the energetic chakras of the energy system and the Hara or Dan Tien (of the deeper subtle body) – these three correlate to the three tides of Craniosacral therapy.  I could and probably should write an entire post about the tides, but suffice it to say that there are varying rhythms of the body’s energy – sometimes it is more relaxed and this might be a mid-tide (chakra correlation), or we might be in a go-go-go mode and this would be the short time, a.k.a. the Cranial rhythm (vector correlation).  And then if we are lucky enough to experience a deeper state of relaxation than most people are able to attain on their own (serious meditators can get here, or people who receive a lot of bodywork would also be able to drop down into deeper relaxation) which is known as the long tide, then this correlates with the Hara.

I realize I should probably unpack a lot of those words from that paragraph.  If you don’t follow, don’t worry, you will probably catch more in this next section.

The most poignant topic for me was about cords.  An energetic cord is a connection we have with someone but it is most often not a positive connection.  For instance, if our mothers used guilt trips on us as kids in order to get us to behave, there is a chance there is a cord lingering from that relationship.  Or if we felt the need to humor our fathers as children because we wanted to try to make him happier, we might easily be corded to him.  Here is the thing though – if there is an energetic cord to someone from when we are young, then even if that person leaves our life, that cord sticks around until we purposely heal it and release that energy (often less-than-ideal energy).  So if we have a mother who constantly energetically merges with other people (psychological merging is when, for instance, she can’t stand on her own – she is too flexible and is easily swayed because she “becomes” the people around her – and men can easily learn the less-than-ideal habit of merging as well) and she merges with us as children.  Guess what?  We will probably be merging types ourselves, no matter what our gender.

So what does this have to do with me you might ask?  To share a bit about myself, I am / was a merging type.  My astrology chart reveals this.  One of my parent’s is a merging type.  I learned it easily from them, not knowing any better.  I can easily charm people because I can feel what they are thinking, what they are needing – because their needs become my own.  How bad does this sound?  Well you are correct if you though that.  It sucks.  Period.  And I have spent years working to strengthen my psychological boundaries.

And I still have much work to do.  What I did not mention above is that if we have the pattern (the cord) ingrained in us as youngsters, then we will continue to do it as adults until we fully and completely heal it. And this can easily take years.  It depends on how deeply ingrained it is and how old we were when we learned it.

Also what I did not mention is that we will continue to attract that type of cord-like person into our lives until we heal it.  Say my father was a merging type.  Well he has not been in my life much in the past 18 years.  But someone will definitely come along to replace him until I lovingly cut, release and heal that cord.

You might ask what replaces a cord if we cut it – positive resources replace it.  If we do enough personal growth work on ourselves and on our developmental patterns, we are definitely working through some cord material – whether we say the word “cord” or not.  We are building in positive beliefs about ourselves, we are confronting uncomfortable emotions around that situation (if we have a hidden, deep reservoir of resentment toward our parents for smoking when we were tiny babies, then trust me, this is not comfortable to work through – but it is definitely worth working through it!!!).

It is also interesting to look at ways in which we react to different types of people.  When someone is angry, what is my first response?  Do I pick up their anger with ease?  Can I stay centered?  What is someone is down, sad or depressed?  Do I feel a strong yearning to pick them up – whether they ask for help or not?  This might be a cord from the past.  What is someone seems like a strong authority figure?  How do I react around them?  Can I hold my own energetically?  Can I stay confident and in alignment?

These were all questions I found myself asking in this class today.  What do I need to stay present, in my belly, in my Hara, in my chakras, in my heart and in my head in any situation?  What would happen if I said less and took more time to notice my inner process – even in novel situations?  How does it feel hold a higher (more empowered) frequency?

These questions are able to be answered through some spiritual paths.  And they are definitely able to be answered if someone chooses to do Process-oriented bodywork, or Spiritual Processing, or Somatic Experiencing, or Craniosacral Therapy.  I hope you get the chance to dip your toes into this subtle world one day.  🙂

Thank you for reading!

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