Approaching the Nursing Profession from an Alternative background…

As many of you readers know, I am presently in nursing school.  And if you have been reading my blog for some time, then you would also know that I have quite a long and devoted history of practicing and receiving and championing (when it is legitimate) complimentary and alternative medicine modalities.

So how am I reconciling this change of direction within myself?  Honestly, it is a very complex issue – here are some of the feelings and thoughts going through my mind as I ask myself, “coming from years of practicing Biodynamic Craniosacral Therapy and Somatic Experiencing (trauma resolution), what is it like to be thrust into a mainstream group of scientists and future nurses?

I feel like a part of me is selling out.  However, this is also complicated (see below).

I am glad to be entering a profession where it is said to be a “calling” and a “service” to be a nurse.  It is not for everyone.  First of all, it is extremely tough to get into (my school accepted about 18% of applicants) and once you are in a nursing program, it gets more and more complicated with each class you take.  Until, suddenly after two years, you are a well-educated professional who might be able to jump right into a hospital setting and care for a wide range of patients.  In other words, being a nurse is one of the worst ways to make a lot of money – it is possible to make good money, but that can take years of hard work, study and more schooling.

My nursing professors so far are very solid women.  They have obviously done their personal growth work and are grounded, clear, honest and seem to radiate joy in some aspects of their jobs.  Therefore it seems like the nursing conundrum (most of the 50 United States being in serious nursing shortages) has not burnt them out at least.

I suspect I am one of the only people who is doing nursing with a solid background in Craniosacral Therapy, trauma resolution and Spiritual Astrology (and Buddhism).  That combination is difficult to find. A part of me wonders if my talents are being wasted…  (I hope that doesn’t come off as being too brash or arrogant).

I am intimidated regarding the stories about some hospitals being short staffed.  If you give someone (in this case nurses) so much responsibility and so many patients to handle in a given shift, and yet you ask them to do TWO people’s job, it seems that mistakes are inevitable.  And not only that, but it seems that this situation will always lead to a focus on disease treatment rather than prevention.  If you know that counseling patients might lead to preventing future diseases, and yet there is not enough time to do that counseling…  wouldn’t you go out and do something about hiring more nurses?  Something is very wrong with a system if all that is going on.  I’m just saying (and keep in mind I have not done a clinical in a hospital setting yet).

As to why I did not stick with bodywork as a profession (and why I am in nursing today):

I am not good at marketing myself.  I am / was a very solid bodyworker but I was never good at marketing myself, nor was I good at maintaining a strong practice if I built it up.  As a bodyworker doing complimentary medicine, there is simply too much work involved to constantly be acquiring new clients as a few of my previous clients got better and only needed occasional “maintenance” sessions.  To market, and practice, and schmooze, and take care of the accounting, etc is simply too much work for me.  😦   I’m not cut out to do it, at best I need help.  Or I need a marketable skill (like nursing) that is in high demand where I will be compensated a living wage for the work I do.  And aside from the emotional strain, I can pretty much leave my work at work and come home and let go…  we will see if this is a pipe-dream, but I think you get my point.

Not only that, but I wonder if bodywork is a little too easy for me.  Nursing is very complex and as a result, it is and will challenge my intuition and studying abilities in novel and creative ways.  In other words, I needed a new challenge, and nursing is definitely providing that.  This is why I did not go the route of graduate work in psychology.  Because that would have been rewarding yes, but again it would have been more of the same and less of a new challenge.

So we will see where this (the nursing path) takes me.

Thanks for reading my breathless posts  🙂

Uranus the liberator

Sometimes we want to keep things just the way they are.  Am I right?  Who adores change and welcomes it every moment?  Not I.

Well, Uranus says life is impermanent.  But occasionally change is for the better (whether we can see it at the moment or not).  Might as well start to view things like birth, old age, sickness and death as typical!  And this can apply to inner patterns as well – a new pattern is conceived in the mind, we put time and energy into that pattern (or behavior or habit, etc), the pattern might not be entirely healthy, and it causes us to question or doubt our choices.  So maybe we are forced to choose between health or continuing that pattern.  If we continue for long enough, we might even have the choice of an early death or choosing to let the pattern die.  (Wow this is getting morbid…)

I am observing a situation like this in my own chart.  Uranus is in Aries, opposite my Libra Moon / Pluto conjunction (my Hades Moon in Libra).

What does Libra Moon typically mean?  That we might hide any common daily anger and irritation under layers of charming guile and desire for ultimate harmony.  Libra Moon loves aesthetic harmony as well – it might lead to being a good artist or designer or communicator, mediator, diplomat, etc.  Libra Moon people often like the delicate, fine detail type of jobs like creating art, fashion design, editing (esp. if Virgo is thrown in), writing, and in addition, Libra Moon is often a good match maker as they are aware of subtle nuances in people’s personalities.  Oh – Libra rules the hands and it is one of the more delicate signs – so Libra Moon people rarely ever like to get their hands dirty.  (There have to be other influences like Virgo or Taurus or Capricorn or desperation for them to consider putting their hands in the dirt or doing a gritty blue collar job.)  These are just a few of Libra’s gifts and challenges.

Having Pluto conjunct a Libra Moon adds layers of exaggeration to these traits above and it implies that this individual (me) has a strong karmic tie with their mother (Moon = Mom influences, Pluto and Saturn are the two Lords of Karma).  In addition, Pluto might add a level of psychic ability or at least intuition by being conjunct the Moon.  There will be added emotionality (although Libra wants to keep this in check) which might come out by being a great writer or poet.  There is the possibility of innate emotional intelligence and understanding.  Plus due to Pluto’s influence, there will be the desire to constantly improve the self (which at times might get out of hand and prevent the individual from having fun and losing control).  Oh – did I mention Libra (thru Saturn’s influence) loves to be in control – at least of themselves?

So how does Uranus get involved?  And why would I call it the liberator?  These are good questions!

As Uranus has stationed from direct to retrograde within a degree of opposition of my Libra Hades Moon, I have noticed many subtle shifts occurring.  And these shifts could easily be manifesting due to situations that are occurring in my life.  Therefore I am not saying that astrology impels actions, rather it reflects what is happening in our lives.  Maybe one could say that astrology (as representing gross levels of karma) will show that we have the greatest proclivity towards.

So Uranus opposite Libra Hades Moon: for one, Uranus opposite the Moon can indicate perversion.  And this has crept into my life very slowly and subtly.  Due to working full time, and going to school, and being under pressure to perform due to nursing school’s strict rules, I just thought that my dismissing of the small rules at work was just a little burn out happening.  I thought that my small expressions of irritation and discontent were because I had no more energy to hold them in any longer (see above for why).  But these could both be “explained” by Uranus opposite Moon / Pluto.  Uranus opposite Pluto is never given a good prognosis in astrology books, but I might disagree.

Uranus opposite Pluto will mean that you had better be doing some inner personal growth work and especially you need a healthy outlet for any suppressed anger / resentment / hatred.  My outlet is to receive body work and do meditation – I need both.  If I just meditated, that would lead to being centered in my mind, but the body work accelerates the process of letting the angst out of my physical system.

If we do not have a healthy outlet for Pluto’s angst, then Uranus opposite Pluto will be challenging and it will feel like we are banging our heads against the wall.  However, when we have a number of inner resources to understand our inner processes and when we start to liberate our anger and irritation appropriately, then people around us start to respect us more (as we respect ourselves more).

I have a bit of a devil-may-care attitude at times and I am okay with that.  Keep in mind that astrology allows us to see the ways that we might subconsciously be working against ourselves.  I have less filters on my thoughts and words these days but I am consciously applying some filters because I don’t want to push to much and risk my job!  Or risk losing colleagues as amiable acquaintances.  I do feel more liberated though – if something upsets me, I take a couple of deep breaths and then I set the intention to be clear, compassionate and honest in my discussion and then I talk to the person about the situation.  No need to be holding that crap in!

Also, another facet of Uranus sitting at 20 degrees of Aries for 4 months…  And being opposite my Hades Moon is that I am becoming more clumsy!  This I do not like.  But, even this can be viewed as becoming liberated.  If I consider the fact that my extremely agility and dexterity were due to my not wanting to step wrong around an angry father – I walked very carefully on egg shells (without knowing it consciously), then my brain is starting to no longer compensate for that ugly cause of dexterity.  Therefore, these days, I have to be more conscious where I put my feet, how I serve a drink at work (I’m a waiter after all – which requires decent dexterity every day!), walking through my house…

Just to clarify – when I was young, my father was angry and emotionally numb and unavailable.  However, in the past 30 years he has mellowed out a bit and made huge strides toward connecting with people (and me) and I love him dearly.  I cannot repay my parent’s kindness enough for bringing me into this world.  But I am going to be honest of developmental trauma when it happens (even to me).

So as you can see, Uranus liberates on many levels and it often does it without our consent.  But from a big picture perspective, who wouldn’t want that anyway?  🙂

Thank you for reading!

 

Just to be clear: about astrology

To clarify…

That last post about nursing school and astrology is an example of how complex my relationship to astrology is.  I love it.  It usually causes me to be anxious before a new client.  It is extremely insightful and informative for me life personally.  I tend to go some months where I don’t look at anyone’s chart (including my own) and then I will have 4 or 5 clients within a two month window, so it waxes and wanes.  I love medical astrology but I have to be very careful when mentioning those two words together.  I realize that medical astrology is a vast and basically incomprehensible terrain – therefore I don’t charge extra money for including that in interpretations.  I am naturally good at astrology – drank it in for the first two years and then started seeing clients professionally…

So it’s complicated.  I am kind of glad for the forced break now that Nursing School is starting up, but it is that – forced.  I also enjoyed seeing the rare astrology client.  I am always pleasantly surprised by a new client.  I will have some idea in my head of what to expect and often I am way off (not entirely but in some facet).

I am definitely glad to be learning so much about the human body and its functioning (physiology) and its anatomy.  I can’t wait to learn more about pathophysiology and it might sound strange coming from someone like me – a holistic bodywork practitioner – but I am looking forward to learning about pharmacology.  There is a lot to learn and I know there are many new subtleties to be discovered.

So, I might be seeing the rare astrology client during my breaks in Nursing school (August?  December?  Summer 2016?).  But from what little I have seen so far, just keeping up with all the material and assignments and tests is going to be a huge challenge this coming fall.  I’m looking forward to it and I’m planning to be working part time as well.  So my plate will be full.

Wish me well and do feel free to continue asking me astrology questions.  I would be nice to review from time to time!

Thanks for reading!

Glad to be entering nursing, no longer sure about astrology

I have never felt that I was an extremely confident astrologer.  Sure, I’m a Leo Rising (Pisces Sun with Neptune in my 5th house), so I fake it just fine.  But I think that due to the complexity of astrology – just Western astrology – I always feel like I could study a chart a little longer and always glean something from it.  I think that is why I am usually (secretly) nervous when I am seeing a new, novel astrology client for the first time.  If all I have to go on is a chart and a voice, then I don’t know much about what to expect when I meet the person.

These days however, I’m beginning to feel like I want to speak my mind more and more.  In the past, I was a charmer, a shape shifter, a diplomat.  I could make terrible news sound like a minor challenge.  I could turn a nasty looking obstacle into a growth opportunity.  But frankly, I am tired of doing this.

I say this because the way I do astrology (in the past?) is draining for me.  I think it is because instead of speaking my truth, I have multiple filters going, so that my truth is run past charm weavers to make it sound less and less abrasive.

But the more I experience samsara, the more I want to tell people: if the way you are doing things is not working (to the point where you are frustrated, down, depressed or angry), then why do you continue to choose the same path over and over again?  I want to ask people – what makes you feel stable?  What activity do you do to be grounded and completely equanimous?  If someone can’t answer either of these questions (if they do not know what it is to feel stable or grounded), I’m not sure what to do – but I know that a lot of personal growth work is needed for them to begin to find some stability.  And now that I am in nursing school, I am probably not the person to be working with them on that!  So I am just left with “Wow!  You need to establish some inner resources in a  big way…”  But all I say is, “Have you considered working with a meditation or yoga teacher?”  Or “Can I point you in the direction of some very skilled body-psychotherapists?”  But inner work takes some incredible motivation and a willingness to stand on the edge of the “cliff.”  Even if what seems like a cliff is just a step down into the darkness, we are still terrified and cling to old out-dated methods which just lead to us pin balling back and forth from defensive reaction to blaming others, etc.

So get it together people.  I’m becoming a nurse soon.  And I can’t really believe I am saying all these things.  You would almost think that I am trying to dissuade clients…  (maybe subconsciously this is true).  Rather, I would prefer to have clients who have a lot of their inner resources in tact or who are willing to do the work and get started and put in the effort outside of sessions.

Or perhaps I am already strained from oodles of classes and studying.  Time will tell.  This fall I am going to be practicing self care, reading chapters upon chapters of nursing material, and learning even more how the amazing human body works.  I’m excited.  I suspect I will pick astrology back up on the other side.  But it will definitely be a changed paradigm for me.  I will keep you updated.

(Thanks for reading my ranting)

Becoming a nurse

I am about to order scrubs for my nursing school clinicals which start in about a month.  And for the past three semesters I have been taking heavy science classes in preparation for nursing school.  Therefore I am slowly creeping toward becoming a nurse.  Of course I cannot officially call myself a nurse until I pass the NCLEX (national licensing test) which is a very challenging adaptive computerized test.  But on the inside, I wonder when I will feel like I am a nurse.

So far I have been doing well in Anatomy and Physiology classes (I love learning about the amazing human body) and I thoroughly enjoyed Microbiology.  Therefore I already know a lot more than mainstream America and yet I am not even a Novice when it comes to health care workers…  🙂    I think that once we start our clinical rotations and we are wearing the scrubs and being called nurse for a while, then the transition will start to complete itself internally.

I also feel that over the past year and for the next 2 years, I will learn more (and retain more) information than I have in the previous 10 years.  There is simply a huge volume of material for nursing school – especially with drugs changing every year, and technology advancing at a rapid pace…  Honestly I wonder how they will pack everything into two years  :-O    I also plan to enroll in a BSN program starting in 2016.  So that will make things more interesting – being in two programs simultaneously.

The only obstacle so far is money.  Due to having graduated with my B.A. from UVa, I am ineligible for federal financial aid for the two year program.  Therefore I will have to work at least two days / week to get through nursing school.  I wonder if I should start a crowd funding site for myself?  Let me know your thoughts if you want.

Thanks for reading!

another great astrology resource

I plan to post at least once a week starting soon.  At present, school is keeping me quite busy.  I will get a short break in August and then I really start nursing school.  Exciting!

If you have not seen this, some of these posts are right on.  I have only reviewed a few, but so far I have enjoyed what I have read.

http://www.mysticmamma.com/kaypacha-report-i-can-use-my-heart-to-open-up-my-mind/

Kaypacha report

Have  a great day!

a great blog for various Astrology nuanced topics

This is a great blog for various topics about astrology.  Here is an article about Venus retrograde.  Venus will be going retrograde in July for about 40 days.  It might be good to read up about it ahead of time – so you can see if you have any of those tendencies to look out for  🙂

 

http://darkstarastrology.com/venus-retrograde/

Thanks for visiting!

Busiest day of my summer

I’m just posting a breathless missive here.  Today is one of the busiest of the past few years – I have two exams this week, I’m starting a nursing class today and I have a 2 hour CPR class as well.  I am prepping for nursing school, so there are many dead lines coming and going.  I hope I am keeping up  🙂

If anything, I am about to become extraordinarily efficient.  I aim to be productive and I also know that my pace is a bit different than most – I need/require/long for some down time here and there in the midst of my studying.  Fortunately that seems to help the info stick in my mind.  May I and all beings get what we need.

I will keep y’all posted about my progress!

Thanks for visiting.

C’ville celebration of His Holiness’ birthday

If you live in the Central Virginia area, or if you will be in Charlottesville around July 5th, the Tibetan Association of Charlottesville will be hosting a fun afternoon and evening to celebrate H.H. the Dalai Lama’s birthday.

It is going to be at Unity Church on Hydraulic Road on Sunday July 5th.

From 3:30 to 9:00 pm – come when you want to, leave when you wish

There is a $20 entrance fee – this money will go to the Tibetan Association for their projects and Dharma center.  This covers delicious food – Indian food and authentic Tibetan food as well.

They will have several speakers, plus there will be performances by local Tibetan musicians and at least one traditional Tibetan dance will be offered.

Come join in the fun and relaxed atmosphere among good company!

Spiritual Astrology: a square and a trine to the same planet

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In this post, I am going to be covering what occurs when the same Natal Planet has both a square and a trine aspect to it.  As an example, let’s take Venus.  And please keep in mind that I am going to oversimplify things a bit here to keep this post below 1000 words.  Also I intend to include what it means to have both a square and a trine aspect to a planet and how transits can reflect activation of the trine OR square (or both).

And now for the planets that are aspecting the Natal Venus.  Let us use Pluto as the planet making the trine and Uranus as the planet making the square.  So what do these mean on a regular basis for this individual?

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Believe it or not, Pluto is an intense planet 🙂  And even in its trine configuration, it can still indicate a powerful effect on the individual.  So we have Pluto trine Venus – of course the signs and houses matter, but let’s just keep it simple.  Pluto can indicate a stickiness, a pattern of lusting or yearning for relationships or union (Pluto wants power and control and one of Venus’ arenas is love and relationships and union).  Pluto here might indicate that this native goes out of his or her way to charm or magnetize others – he or she wants closeness, and they might want to be possessive about their partner.  There is a full body of literature about Pluto and its relationship to Venus, so let’s pause there and go on to Uranus. Just think that Pluto is yearning to be close to a partner (probably stemming from some unmet need as a baby or youngster).

Again, Uranus is an intense planet, believe it or not.  And here we have Uranus making a square to this individual’s Venus.  Trying to keep it simple, what might this indicate?  House placement and signs involved really matter here as Uranus has many flavors depending on the lens through which it is focused. But that would take another 50 pages to write about…  So Uranus square Venus says this individual marches to the beat of their own drum – their sense of style is unique and possibly ahead of the curse, maybe a little perverse or bohemian.  The way they do relationships would be different – they would require some space and they would definitely need to have a partner who is dynamic and ingenuous (they would easily get bored with a conventional, traditional, stick-in-the-mud type of person).  If this square were really close, like within 3 degrees, then there is the chance that this person might have strong views about marriage (and about not wanting to be married).  They might want an open relationship.  But the independence and sense of freedom would be paramount with this aspect.

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When we combine both of these examples above, what do we have?  Pluto’s longing and yearning for connection and control (and possibly lust and being sexual) would contrast strongly with Uranus’ need for freedom and independence.  This is the person who would not have an easy first few relationships in their lives – in high school or college years, there would be confusion about how did I love someone so dearly and then push them away like I did?  That person might have felt like a soul mate AND the relationship with them was too intense, too steamy, too connected.  It was uncomfortable.  This is what I refer to as a dichotomy.  The sooner this individual could clean this up (bring awareness and acknowledgement to this inner dynamic, and then work on meeting unmet emotional needs from early developmental years, etc), the better his / her relationships would go.  But this is a strange pairing indeed.

As an aside, this is one of the benefits of studying or going to see a Spiritual Astrologer – they can objectively see these inner dichotomies and how the individual is having a conflict within their hearts.  And hopefully with skill and compassion, the Astrologer can help the person start to untie those inner knots of frustration and confusion.

Back on the topic: what does it mean to have this strange dynamic in the astrology chart and then have transits come along and activate either the trine or the square aspect?  With Uranus square Venus, you have four chances to activate it – when a transiting planet is conjunct either Uranus or Venus, square either of them or opposite either of them (say we have Saturn opposite Uranus, then Saturn should also be making a square to Natal Venus).  When an outer planet or a progressed planet comes into a point of activation of this square, the individual might really cry out for freedom and space and independence.  They would not want to be in a steamy passionate relationship at that time.  Rather, they might want to recharge and renew alone – in their personal sanctuary, or they might want to go for a hike with a group of people (where they can hide or interact with multiple people and be safe from the intense one-on-one relationships the Pluto / Venus aspect would indicate).  If a major transiting planet, like Pluto or Uranus or Jupiter comes along into an activation point, that might be a time for big transition – the person may terminate a relationship, outgrowing a structure which seems to be out-dated and less-than-beneficial.

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At the same time, when the Pluto trine Venus is activated (at the trine point to both planets, or by a planet coming along and making a sextile to both planets – effectively sitting on their midpoint), then this individual might have a blossoming relationship or a new insight into the machinations of their heart.  Just to be clear above, if we have Pluto in Sagittarius and Venus is in Leo, then the “best” activation point for this trine is to have a planet in Aries making a trine to both Pluto AND Venus.  Or if a planet comes along through Libra and makes a sextile aspect to both Pluto and Venus, then this would activate it a bit as well.

The Pluto Venus trine being activated would indicate a time when this native could be more close to someone.  A time for opening their heart – especially if they have done some of their emotional work to get clearer about this bizarre dynamic from above.  If nothing else, having a plant like Jupiter or Mars come along and trine both Pluto and Venus would indicate a week or a short time of new relationships coming into their life, or a new attraction, or a blossoming and deepening of an existing one.  It would be comfortable and fun to flirt and play and mix it up a little.  But the native would still probably do the relationship in a manner in which they get their requisite space and freedom and independence.

As you can see, Spiritual Astrology can really dive in deep to analyze one particular aspect or set of aspects coming off of a Natal planet.  Of course we could go much much deeper once the rest of the chart is interpreted.  House placements, the Ascendant, the ruling planets and more will determine more of how Natal Venus would dance with Pluto and Uranus.

If you would like a Spiritual Astrology interpretation, shoot me an email to kirby [at] mkirbymoore [dot] com

Thank you for reading!