Meditation Informs Healing Facilitation

Semi-retreat stalling a bit, but virtuous conduct continues

For all of you regular readers (thank you BTW!), I have been attempting to maintain a semi-retreat in the month of November – which meant doing one to three (or rarely four) hours of practice a day, in addition to maintaining a life as a lay person in Virginia, USA.

The past couple days though, I have been lucky to just get in an hour. Yesterday it was juicy Svaroopa Yoga when I awoke (30 mins). Then later in the day, I did another half hour of Qigong and actually later I sat Shamatha meditation for 20 minutes. So that’s not too bad.

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Today I have only done 30 minutes of meditation. I am getting busy though – which I am also thankful for. Off and on since May, when I quit my full time restaurant job, I have been living off savings, which is a little stressful at times. So starting to be busy again means seeing more clients, which is all to the good. I am assisting with two bodywork classes this week and even seeing an astrology client (first in a few months due to a busy summer).

I still haven’t scheduled my massage school interview, but I was led to believe it would possibly be next week (Thanksgiving week). Hopefully that happens soon so I can start buying the books and getting a jump on the studying!

I have been more social though, which is great. It’s like this semi-retreat is creating the solid foundation I can spring off of into the world. And then come back to from time to time to resource, rejuvenate and center.

If you are in the Charlottesville / Afton Virginia area, there is a smoke offering ceremony (Tibetan Buddhist – a Mountain of Burnt Offerings) being conducted by myself and a local monk. That will be followed by a pot luck supper. Let me know if you are interested in attending.

Thank you ever so much for reading!

Venus in Virgo in the Natal Chart (Spiritual Astrology)

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The astrological interpretation of Venus in Virgo in the natal chart is often times less-than-positive. Authors talk about the individual being critical of their partners, nagging and cold. Some karmic astrologers even go so far as to say that Venus in Virgo is the sign of someone who has been less-than-loving in a past life (lives) and that debt is coming home now. Of course, when criticism comes into the mind, loving-kindness generally departs swiftly, this is fairly obvious. But how can we simply stop this deeply ingrained, crystal-clear yet critical gaze in its tracks?

With all this said however, what is guaranteed with Venus in Virgo? Will the individual put off marriage (due to their seeing imperfections in potential partners)?

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I would argue that like astrology in general, where I practice frequency-based astrology, people with Venus in Virgo are quite unique – we cannot place them all in one basket and hope that our interpretation will work out for the majority of them. Frequency-based astrology says that we must determine the frequency of the individual (where they are spiritually, emotionally, maturity-wise, self-care wise, renunciation, etc) before we can paint an accurate picture of how their astrology chart reflects their lives.

I have found, at least here in the United States, that most of the time, Venus in Virgo is associated with a strong religious upbringing. This could be a strong Catholic influence or it might be a strict Protestant environment. However, this is not always the case. When religion plays a role, Venus in Virgo is often joined by other planets in Virgo (or a strong 6th house stellium for instance). If I see three or more planets in Virgo though, I am almost always rewarded with a surprised answer when I say, “So your family was quite religious, right?” Yep, usually the case.

Sometimes Venus in Virgo comes with a strong familial heritage – I have several clients who were raised in tightly-knit immigrant families here in the United States. In their culture of origin, there are a lot of “shoulds” about what a good girl does and does not do. In these cases, religion has less to do with the strict Virgoan perceptions. But the inner critic is there nonetheless.

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I believe that most people have the resources internally to change their minds. Literally to transform their mental attitudes and patterns. Now, as you can probably surmise, this is not exactly easy to do, nor is it going to be a fast process.

However, life does this for the large majority of us. We put up enough resistance to necessary change that eventually we realize that the only thing causing us suffering is our resistance, and we begrudgingly shift our stance.

Likewise, people with Venus in Virgo can change their minds and melt any frozen tissue around their hearts, allowing in some openness, acceptance, and compassion – basically embracing the mystery which their Venus in Pisces cousins so easily put their faith in.

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Keeping all of this in mind, two more things before we wrap up. First people with Venus in Virgo might be the late-comers to the relationship table as it were. These people might put off marriage or partnering for some time. Rarely – like Venus in Virgo in the 12th or 6th house rare – Venus in Virgo might prefer to be a recluse or live a hermit lifestyle. And even then it is not set in stone – look to the Moon’s Nodes for further information on this topic.

Second, it is possible for us to delve deeper below the conscious surface and to literally change our minds and our heats. See my previous posts about doing birth process work or Pre- and Perinatal Therapy or working with Double Binds. Once we start to ply apart the tangled web of inherited patterns and habits and assumptions from our ancestors (honoring them in the process), once we have the desire to heal our ancestral lineage and start working with a professional who has the skills to hold that type of container, then we can gain more equanimity or strengthen our loving-kindness and compassion to become a different person. I know it sounds kind of preposterous. But I have done it. Where I was fifteen years ago, and where I am today – people from my high school do not recognize me; it is literally a night and day change.

Working with legitimate heart teachers can change us for the better, and drastically change us. We can become more resilient, clearer, more articulate about our needs, etc. We can fully embrace our inheritance as human beings. 🙂

So if you have Venus in Virgo, don’t fret. Find an authentic spiritual teacher or a spiritual (religious) lineage that you resonate with and start doing some practice. Work to melt any icy areas around your heart. Forgive yourself, your parents, grieve anything that was left incomplete, etc. And if your karma (frequency) is positive enough, then you have nothing to worry about. The colder more critical side of Virgo may have transformed to come out through service and generosity and loving-kindness.

Thank you for reading!

Semi-retreat and baby steps

The current semi-retreat I am on is going well. Although some days I get in close to an hour of practice and other days it is longer. I also want to add to my list of practices from a previous post (yoga, qigong, meditation, Dharma practices): add body scan meditations and good mother messages.

Good mother messages are what we learn about as an antidote to babies either misunderstanding birth trauma and feeling neglected, unloveable and / or less-than-safe or rarely, babies actually are less-than-safe (which breaks my heart, no seriously, this hurts to contemplate). Anyway..

Here some typical good mother messages, although I have seen lists of at least 50 different messages: “I love you,” or “I want you,” or “You don’t have to be afraid any more,” or “I love you for who you are, not for what you do.” These messages are all geared toward repairing early trauma and restoring health to our little ones (inside). Of course, if we are parents of babies, then it is really really good to be saying these messages to our kids!

It is recommended to say these good mother messages to pictures of ourselves as babies everyday for at least a year. I still haven’t gotten to that lofty threshold. The longest I said them was six weeks I do believe. But I just wanted to mention that this practice would be good to do at any point – a form of metta practice as it were (loving-kindness meditation). Who knows what we might discover doing these?

The list that I work from has 15 Good Mother Messages on it, which is pretty comprehensive, but some people re-work it and make the message much more personal.

At present, I am noticing some resistance to doing these messages (which might be just the reason TO DO them!), so I might not get to it tonight. But at some point this month, I will add it in.

Thanks for reading,

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Semi-retreat is both contemplative & active

If you have been keeping track of my previous posts the past couple weeks, you will remember my mentioning being in quasi retreat. That is because it was my intention in the month of November to pretty much take time off. I have been doing that pretty well.

But let me be clear. When the word “retreat” is used by someone who practices Tibetan Buddhism, they are often referring to a time of solitude and intense meditation / Dharma practice. A retreat is usually at least five days of solitary practice if not much much longer. I am not going that far.

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For me, I am using the word retreat in another connotation: to withdraw. What am I withdrawing from? Any behavior that depletes me – binge watching Netflix shows for instance, playing computer games, being around people who bring me down, etc. And I am withdrawing toward a space where I practice more self care (and Dharma).

Most days I am doing between one and three hours of practice. And practice can be anything from yoga (I do Svaroopa yoga mainly – yin yoga or occasionally I do a few Kundalini yoga breathing techniques), qigong, meditation, mantra recitation or prostrations. Some days I do two or three prostrations, other days I get up the nerve to do a hundred. All in all, I am doing a better job of practicing very sound, very solid self care.

And as I withdraw into a restorative space, I am finding myself getting more and more requests to do stuff – whether to see clients, to be social or to assist in teaching bodywork classes, etc. Therefore, I am doing my best to balance a desire for contemplation this month with a desire to be active in the world and hopefully benefitting beings.

May it be so!

Thanks for reading,

~km

Saturn square Jupiter: a challenging relationship aspect

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This post is actually about any hard aspect between Saturn and Jupiter in relationship synastry. I am going to define all the astrologese terms as it were.

Relationship Synastry means when I compare my separate birth (natal) astrology chart to someone else’s separate independent natal chart. For instance, my Saturn is in 16 degrees of Virgo (let’s say). If my partner has Jupiter in similar degrees of ANY mutable sign – Pisces (opposition to my Saturn), Gemini or Sagittarius (square aspect) or in Virgo (conjunction) – then this post will cover this scenario.

In terms of Composite charts (where we blend the two charts together), this dynamic is a bit different. Therefore I will only stick with the Relationship Synastry part here.

When there is the Hard aspect between Jupiter and Saturn in Relationship Synastry charts, it is quite challenging. Why is this?

Jupiter represents broadening the mind. As a result, it is enthusiastic, has a sense of wanderlust, knows everything is going to work out in the end, and loves to expand their minds whether through foreign travel, study of philosophy or learning foreign languages. Jupiter does not care much for boundaries or restrictions. It is a speculative influence – meaning Jupiterian (Jovial) people will take chances, sometimes gambling just a little and other times being more reckless. Jovial types often push boundaries to see what they can get away with. But how can we grow if we don’t take some chances or risks?

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Saturn represents the cold, dark, distant border of the (naked eye) solar system – what we can see. As a result, it is a bit more of a wet blanket at times. It wants rules, boundaries, discipline and at times it can be more practical, sometimes bordering on the pessimistic side (at least this is what a Jovial type will accuse a Saturnian type of being). 🙂 Saturn is the great builder. Without Saturn, we would not have laws or even structure. It is an extremely important influence.

So why don’t these polar opposites make good bed fellows?

Because one person (usually represented by Saturn in the chart) is somehow feeling intimidated, threatened or pushed by the Jovial type. The Jupiter person in this dynamic will often ask for normal things – “Let’s go hiking up a beautiful, long trail to look at a gorgeous water fall.” Saturn might say, “But isn’t that hike dangerous?” They are just stating the obvious and being practical. Saturn’s defense is to lean on what is safe, what is known, what is pragmatic. In this case, maybe the Saturn person actually wants to go on this beautiful hike – but the first thing they think about is having heard that that hike is dangerous, and they blurt that out.

Saturn types are more conservative in general. And even if the Saturn type in this relationship dynamic which I am describing is not actually conservative most of the time, in this relationship, they will seem more conservative. The Jovial person brings their Saturn out to the forefront.

The Jovial type wants more freedom and more adventure. At least in the relationship. “Let’s go out tonight.” The Saturn type might respond, “But we are saving money for a house, remember?” Again being practical and keeping track of the long-term goals. Saturn is the builder, the planner, the organizer. Goal-oriented behavior is their bag.

This is a very complex dynamic. Often times you will see the person with the Saturn needing to be in control – whether of finances or decision making or some other arena – Saturn’s need to make or set the rules can come out.

I am not saying this dynamic alone will sink a relationship. If both partners are healthy and if they have done some degree of personal growth work on themselves, then these little power struggles can be articulated and worked through. The Saturn person can work on their languaging – working to be more supportive of their partner.

And it will help if both partners are bringing equal equity into the relationship. Meaning if both partners have decent jobs, making decent incomes, then this is a natural deterrent of Saturn automatically assuming control of the reins. However, often times this dynamic will arise Because there was a disparity between the partners early on. If (typically the guy, but these days times are truly changing) one partner is earning the lion’s share of the income, then they might feel it is their right to make most of the decisions. And if it is their Saturn making a hard aspect to their partner’s Jupiter, then look out! (See above)

Finally, this dynamic could (often is) be reflecting deeply held beliefs between one or both of the partners. For instance, psychological double binds can easily come into play. If the guy (assuming here that we have a male / female dyad) has a strong family tradition of males being the major bread-winners and taking care of the family’s money, then this can come out more easily when Saturn / Jupiter make a hard aspect. If a woman comes from a family where the women were more homemakers, etc, then they might slide into the slightly more subservient role (Jupiter in this case) and allow the Saturnian guy to take charge. But this creates slight resistance which eventually can build up into resentments.

All these issues need to be addressed and brought into the light. Then they can be worked upon and resolved (hopefully). Or at least the burden can be lightened. But it does require work. Both partners have to be willing to peek into dark uncomfortable parts of their subconscious and see what is lingering there. And hopefully both partners are ready to make positive changes for the benefit of the relationship.

If not, then this particular relationship dynamic can be quite difficult. And it could be the straw that breaks the camel’s back. Although, it would not be the only issue leading to separation.

Thanks for reading!

3 Sources Qigong; inner juicy delicious graceful dance

Did 3 Sources qigong with a friend. Wow!

It was about 50% warm up, lots of jiggling and bouncing, along with eye rolls, head roll, shoulders, elbows, knees, etc. Very focused on rooting (into the ground, into Mother Earth). Surprised there were a few tongue exercises. The main practice was more inner chi awareness and movement I’d say, than outer actual movements. This was the first time I have every done teeth washing – wiping the tongue across the teeth both directions and keeping the saliva in the mouth (not swallowing on purpose). Then swishing the saliva around the teeth and swallowing it in a certain manner.

Afterward, I am feeling flowing, fluid, graceful ease, natural support arising from my Dan Tian (point below the navel that some qigong practices focus on). Just sitting in a chair feels different than 2 hours ago. It is pretty wild and difficult to describe. Inner ease and easy flow. Supported from within in a way I rarely ever experience.

Just amazing. It was a bit of a workout at times, but he explained that by rooting down into the earth on a regular basis, the upper body holds will get easier and easier. I believe him!

All in all, I hope to be able to do this type of Qigong on a weekly basis at least. The massage school I applied for includes yoga or qigong on a regular basis, so the more of a foundation I have, the better.

Oh, and near the beginning of the actual practice, my friend did a series of movements and mudras with his hands that were so beautiful. Graceful movements, some faster, some slower, all to invite the lineage to support us in this practice.

Chop wood, carry water?

My quasi-retreat is some days, anything but a retreat. For instance, yesterday I went out to my parent’s house (Mom and step-father to be precise) and loaded wood, made runs with the wheel barrow and stacked it in the wood shed. They should have enough wood for this winter unless it is extremely cold.

Not exactly chopping wood and not much water carrying, but it still felt like it as I may have helped move a ton of wood over two hours!

Then, my younger brother was home, so we went down to a beautiful brewery for lunch and ping pong. Wood Ridge Farm brewery is on a hill near Faber, Virginia in the heart of Nelson County. It was rainy and misting, but I can see how they have some of the best 360 degree views around! Ping pong was fun, but now that my younger brother is attending table tennis clubs, he has been very difficult to beat for a few years now. And yesterday, in playing close to a dozen games to 11, I think the closest I came was scoring 8 – as in, I didn’t win any against him. It is fun though. And, for some reason, when it comes to playing ping pong, I am ambidextrous. So with my left hand, I spit out some ace serves. And when my Mom played me (using her dominant hand), I barely beat her with my left. Fun!

Finally it was off to bed early after a delightful day. I think having a beer around late lunch time added to my tiredness. 😀

I have been so very fortunate, advanced process-oriented bodywork

I want to write a post about how lucky I am to be one of my bodywork teacher’s senior students. Her name is Janet Evergreen. She is in her 60’s now, and she just, in a recent class, made a comment about starting to slow down how often she teaches her classes. This and her husband has been retired for a few years now, and they are ready to have some fun and travel. So I am yearning to take as many of her classes as possible to keep learning little tricks of the body-intelligent-mandala-oriented-heart-extension bodywork that she practices (those are my descriptions).

Just one example might be enough to explain how lucky I am to have met her and to be able to work with her for the past 12 years:

Some somatic experiences cannot be written about properly (but I will certainly try, ironic eh?). At least you will get a sense of how many layers we are tracking in her advanced classes.

I am on the massage table, about to get a treatment from one of Janet’s students, who has taken at least 3 classes with her (and I assisting).

She uses leg-arcing, a technique where you lift the legs and see where they want to go, follow the legs as they float. Then using the legs as a dowsing rod (basically), you look to see where in the torso they are pointing. We have tested this technique against acupuncturists measuring people’s organ pulses and gotten the same results.

So she wasn’t sure if the legs were indicating left lung or heart. I thought that sounded right.

I am going to fast forward (else this will be a ten thousand word diatribe about a 30 minute bodywork session). Suffice it to say that by this point, she had moved to sit at the head of the table with her arms over my chest, “listening” as it were to my lungs, mediastinum and heart and doing some movement to track both the motility and mobility of those organs. When she realized there was at least one sluggish point on my left lung where the tissue was kind of stuck, she got Janet’s attention to ask about it.

Janet came over and of course seemed to know what was needed before coming close to laying on of hands. She said, “Kirby, can you bring some micro movements into your body to bring some movement into your chest?” I was happy to oblige!

I started moving my arms and just making tiny movements of my belly and ribs. I wanted to double check – I asked, “the thumbs have the lung meridian on them right?” And yes, sure enough, they did.

Janet suggested, “Let your thumbs lead the movements.” By now my arms were gracefully weaving a pattern above my body, and then I started focusing on my thumbs. They started leading the little graceful dance above and off the sides of my torso, sometimes doing the same thing, and other times being dissonant.

Then Janet mentioned, “Let me hold those meridian points.” I should pause for a second and note that for at least ten years, Janet wove baskets when she and her family lived in West Virginia. And not just any baskets – she used oak, which means that her grip, even years after her basketweaving days, her grip is like having a clamp applied, or like vice grips. I noted this saying, “Wow. That is quite a hold you’ve got of my thumbs! What, did you used to weave baskets or something?” It was funny. And it kind of hurt – in a it hurts so good kind of manner.

I slowed down my movement, but the whole body movement from my thumbs continued. Sometimes my torso would lift off the table a bit, other times it was just my hands and arms moving. With Janet’s fingers attached to my thumbs, two little vice grips squeezing my lung meridians for dear life (or so it felt).

But something started to shift in my chest. As I moved from my thumbs, with the meridians being so stimulated, I could suddenly track the course of the meridian down my thumbs, running up the inside of my forearm, and then up the inside of my upper arms and close to my pectoral muscles into my chest. It was wild – warm lines were being drawn on me from the inside. Janet commented, “the right has settled down, but the left still has warmth coming off of it.” (Referring to my thumbs.) And she was right. My right lung was feeling open and calm and happy, while my left lung was still be bit tight or sluggish or sticky.

It just took a few more minutes of gracefully feeling through those meridians and dancing over my body with my arms. And I felt my left lung release, and so did Janet (through my lung meridians on my thumbs). And we both commented on it, she saying, “There it goes,” first.

She had been squeezing pretty good. So when she let go, I was left feeling the meridian lines for several minutes. She went on to squeeze my pinkies – the heart meridian in this case. And it was similar results. The practitioner still had her hands on my chest and was feeling and listening to my inner organs (through the ribs, through the fascia, etc).

Long story short. I had never felt my meridians come alive quite like that. It was another level of deepening of my learning.

I have experienced things in those bodywork classes (or retreats or meditation sessions) at her Sanctuary space that most people can’t even dream of, let alone talk about. I am so very fortunate. Maybe I have been Janet’s teacher in a past life, but I know she has been mine before.

Whatever the case may be, I thank my lucky stars that I have teachers and mentors in my life like her. Heart teachers who go above and beyond, who charge less than they could, who give back to their communities in so many different ways.

I intend to repay her kindness by teaching worthy students. They say that is the greatest way to repay a spiritual teacher (and by practicing what they have taught you). So I must practice self care. I must know that my heart has received valuable and precious transmissions which most people only wish for but never experience. And I must kindly hold my heart in the highest regard, not only because I (we all) have buddhanature coursing through me, but because I have been shown how to work with babies, children and adults in ways that most scientific health practitioners would scoff at (saying, “those results aren’t possible”). And then I intend to teach this material as well.

Advanced somatic therapies. That is a possible title, or like Khenchen Konchog Gyaltsen, one of our heart teachers says, “Call it Process Buddhism” when asked how to describe what Janet does. That pretty much sums it up. 🙂

Yet again, thank you for reading,

A day of errands and bodywork

Not a lot to report today retreat wise. Rather, I am selling my nursing books, so I am making a bi-weekly run to the post office and shipping store. Then this afternoon I am assisting in a long bodywork session – birth process oriented (resolving, releasing, re-negotiating birth issues which in the past led to birth trauma).

I am working on a couple of drafts of some juicy topics though, so stay tuned!

Thanks for reading again!

Working on an astrological post (about politics)

We will see if I can get all my thoughts together and put on paper in a grok-able manner. I had a very interesting conversation with a friend who is a practicing Buddhist, astrologer and yogi. The United States’ chart is having a tough time right now (in case dozens of examples don’t remind you about that).

Maybe in the next couple weeks I will put my notes together into a decent post. 🙂

Until then, be well!