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Posts Tagged ‘Birth Dynamics’

This material is copyrighted by M. Kirby Moore.  Reproduction without permission is prohibited.  Thank you for visiting!  If you would like to receive a Spiritual Astrology interpretation or process-oriented bodywork, you can check out my website at www.mkirbymoore.com

As some of my readers may know, I have been studying process-oriented bodywork, pre- and perinatal psychology and Tibetan Buddhism for some years now.  I have been giving and receiving treatments since 2004, and every day, I am amazed at how many layers there are to plumb the depths of.  For instance, I recently received a treatment when the practitioner asked if I was a “forceps baby” – meaning were forceps used to get me out of my Momma?  Yes, I was.  So I am going to describe what happened next, but first some context.

I have been taking regular classes – at least 60 hours of class time per year since 2005, I have been giving and receiving regular treatments – I need my self-care / bodywork maintenance (!), and I have gone through some intensive birth process workshops and somatic process retreats.  So I am probably not a novice anymore, right?  I am blessed and yet I make stop-and-go progress which is occasionally frustrating.  So this is the context in which I was receiving this most recent treatment.

So yes, I was a forceps baby.  Keep in mind I am not a doctor, I’m not an obstetrician, and I am not licensed to practice medicine.  So this is just for entertainment purposes or to be used as experiential testimony.  After going through some basic listening stations along my body (feet/ leg bones / hip bones / ribs / paired cranial bones, etc) and then checking my sphenoid bone (the bone behind the eyes), she told me that my cranial bones were pretty locked up.  I was feeling that.  She asked if I wanted to try something.  I said sure!

So she asked me to put my hands on my head, above my ears, and then she put her hands on mine.  Keep in mind that this practitioner working on me has years of experience and she is certified as a registered craniosacral therapist, and on top of that, she is more of a listener and a healing coach than a “I’m going to fix you” type of practitioner, and that is why my body responds so well to these treatments.  I am not recommending this to be tried at home – if you want a treatment like I am describing, you should research who in your area has studied some solid modalities like Biodynamic Craniosacral Therapy, Pre- and Perinatal Psychology, Somatic Experiencing, etc.

Back to the story, her hands were on top of mine, applying very gentle “pressure.”  Then she asked me to put all my angst and feelings about those forceps into my hands as I pushed hers away from my head.  She recommended I make some sounds.  So I did. I grunted and expressed my objection to anyone using a harsh, invasive, powerful force on my malleable baby head.  And then we did this another two times, each time I was moaning or groaning or saying “No!” with determination.  She resisted my hands a little, so this was not easy.

Then, after the third time, I told her I noticed a small, vulnerable part of me that wanted to cry.  She asked where I felt that in my body, and I said I thought it was in my gut.  Keep in mind that it is not easy for me to get to this baby part of me.  I have done years of work, and yet I think some non-verbal aged trauma (pre-one-year-old) is very difficult to touch and process.  So I was amazed at how such a simple exercise could do this.

Then she re-checked my cranial bones and she said I needed to take it easy for the next few hours as my bones had loosened up, but that I might feel wonky for a little while as a result.  And sure enough, that afternoon, I could really only do about half an hour of work before I felt a strong need to rest for the same amount of time.  It was like a magnetic pull to rest down!

I just want to express my little non-educated opinion on the subject of using forceps.  First, I am glad forceps was the “worst” intervention used to get my baby body out of my mother!  If a C-section was the next step, I’m glad they used forceps.  And apparently, for babies who are sort of “stuck” in the birth canal, the use of forceps can sometimes be forced to be done blind.  So I hope my doctor was very skillful!!  And I certainly hope doctors are still skillful using this technique today.

With that said, the use of such a strong force on a baby, even if done right is an invasion.  Therefore, I think it is necessary to talk to the mother and baby ahead of time – tell them what is coming.  And just as importantly, it is necessary to have someone (a nurse, a mid-wife, a doula, etc) present at the birth who understands how to adjust babies’ cranial bones so that they don’t internalize that loss of control.  I wanted to make my own way down the birth canal – but after 8 hours of contractions and pushing, the doctors decided things for me.

So there I was at the tender age of Zero, already developing a distrust of doctors, a fear of the medical system and I was already getting my sympathetic (fight-flight-or-freeze) nervous system geared up as I wanted to fight the doctor who had that horrible contraption around my head.  BLEHCK!!!!  No thank you!

And this is just one trauma that I experienced as a baby.  You know, I wonder if this (and other traumas too) is why I do not enjoy celebrating my birth day.  I always thought it was because I wanted to be humble or modest, but it might be more than that.  Why would I want to remember the most important day of my life when it was marred by complications, mechanical interventions and potentially insensitive doctors?  Yeah.

If you have read this far, you might need to take a deep breath.  I am fine.  Fortunately I have met with teachers and practitioners who know how to help me process all this “stuff.”  I have overcome depression and headaches and other issues and I am really doing well.  I am healthy and I continue to enjoy plumbing the depths of these psycho-emotional layers of what it is to be a body and be a human.  Yay!

Thank you for reading.

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Today I swung by PVCC on my way from receiving a birth processing session with Janet Evergreen. It was a powerful session in which I explored and renegotiated my taking incarnation. Specifically, I explored what it would be like to have a “perfect” utero situation with 100% of my needs and required resources met. Very potent! I spent time growing my body, having taken incarnation in that well boundaried space. Aahhhhh…

Having done that, that is taking those baby steps, pun intended, I proceeded to check off another box on my list of things to do to transition to graduate school in California. I stopped by my old school, Piedmont Va Coomunity College, where I spent six years slowly grinding through resistance and eventually graduating. I spoke with someone who taught me French in middle school, twenty two years ago, which I thought was fitting. How best to bid Charlottesville farewell than to start from the beginning.

While I was at PVCC, I spent many hours helping to build and weed and water a Garden. It is called Plum’s Garden. The view of Carter’s Mountain from Plum’s Garden is majestic. There was a lot of history between me and the other gardeners from 2002, and I wanted to resolve it. I saw a crow nearby, which to me represents a creature of change and transformation, and I invited the crows to join me in the garden.

I walked through familiar beds, saw the stone wall I had helped lay and then saw the perfect rock to perch on. I had a splendid view of Carter’s Mountain, which is where Monticello is located, and I just soaked in the raw grace and beauty. And sure enough, a crow flew low in front of me and then perched above me. Then another landed in a nearby tree, and they started cawing. I took that as a definite sign that I am on the right path.

So I am slowly moving from incarnating, to growing a new body and soon I may crawl my way to grad school in Ca. I hope you will stay in touch on my journey!

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