Precious teacher time

I sit here waiting for my passenger to arrive, as I am about to embark on a long journey back to Virginia.  And as I wait, I ponder what the two previous days have been like as I got to spend them at a retreat center with my heart teacher.

I was out here a few days ago, and at that point, I recall how timid I was to get my hands dirty.  I helped him with some trim work, but I was basically just an assistant who held things, handed him tools and held the light as we got started late in the day.  And then I remember how I wanted desperately to change that part of me – the delicate, “oh I do bodywork with my hands, I must not get them dirty” part of me.  (There may be value to protecting my hands for obvious reasons, but if I wear gloves, then I can do just about anything and they are fine!)  And I succeeded.  Yes, definitely succeeded!

So what did we do the past couple of days?  Honestly, I’d say we cut down and then moved at least 10,000 lbs of trees – most were dead but we did cut down a couple that were in precarious positions that were quite alive.  Normally I might balk at chopping down live, healthy trees, but when it is my heart teacher doing the cutting, I wonder if my objections have any worth to begin with!  And if there are any tree spirits getting upset, I am certain he is negotiating with them somehow.

We built a large bonfire with all the dead wood.  Plus we cleared out the bamboo grove to allow for people to pitch tents at this upcoming Winter Retreat they are having down here (Drong Ngur Jangchubling – Wesley Chapel, Florida).  It looks to be a rocking retreat by the way.  Too bad I am going to be in school.

But I got to pose a few Dharma questions to my teacher.  I got to share meals with him.  And I was blessed to get my hands dirty.  In fact, yesterday I was so eager to clean up the retreat center property that I just spontaneously started weeding and dead heading several beds!  I was impressed  🙂   And I cleaned out a lot of dead plants which were very dry and made the bonfire that much larger (if only for a few minutes).

Actually at one point (and then it happened again), we cut down trees that were leaning precariously out over the pond.  Rinpoche figured they would fall in the water soon and he wanted to clear up the land – make it seem larger by clearing some of the bushes and lower trees.  Anyway…  I tied a rope to the tree trunk ensuring it could not fall in the water and become irretrievable.  And guess what I was reminded of?  Keep in mind the water is extremely gunky with algae and mud…

I was reminded of the scene in “The Empire Strikes Back” when Luke’s X-wing fighter sinks deeper into the swamp.  I was kind of hoping Rinpoche would use some sort of energy (or the Force) to raise the tree out of the water…  🙂  Then I would be amazed!  Instead, I had to be amazed at his humility as we spent the next hour pulling that tree and another out of the water.  We had to slowly and painstakingly (grunting with exertion) drag a little of the trunk out of the water and then use the chainsaw when we had the opportunity to lighten the load.  So some of the wood had to dry out before it was thrown on the fire!

There is something mystical about sitting and watching a fire.  It is almost as if it is alive with its own energy and volition.  Of course the winds affect it too.  But it was primal and beautiful to tend the fire from time to time.  Oh – and burning bamboo is a hoot.  The workers next door, working on the road, remarked that we had been burning bamboo the previous day, so they calmed their coworkers to remain calm – all the popping was bamboo.  I’m assuming they meant, it is not gun fire, rather it is safe.  Hey, we are in Florida.  From everything I have heard down here, those words of caution are necessary (ugh!).  🙂

As usual though (when spending legitimate, dedicated time at a retreat center with an authentic Lama), I was rewarded last night with a cool dream.  When I ran it by Rinpoche this morning, he said it was a good dream.  It did not have literal meaning as far as I know, but I do want to spend time soon working to interpret it.

A “mundane” day with my heart teacher

I had the good fortune to spend a day with my heart teacher, Drupon Thinley Nyingpo.  I had planned to take him out to lunch, considering I live in Virginia and he lives in Florida (when he is not traveling for his various teaching commitments).  Therefore I might only get to see him once or twice per year, so I wanted to take advantage of my quick trip down to Florida.  And fortunately he was in town the whole time I was down there.

We went out and I had the blessing of driving him, meaning my car was blessed, even if temporarily.  As we were heading out, we stopped at a long traffic light and a crow flew right over the hood and then landed on the median next to my door.  I looked over and Drupon la had a mischievous gleam in his eye.  I watched and the crow fearlessly walked right up to my door, as if he wanted me to open it and then he would have had a conversation with my teacher.  It definitely seemed more fearless than normal.

I asked Drupon la as I had heard that crows are associated with Mahakala, which is a Dharma protector in Buddhism.  And Drupon confirmed my assumption.

That was the only curious happening on the way to the restaurant.  Then we ate at a delicious Asian Buffet, so there was lots to choose from.  Then we came back and worked on the car a little.  It needed to be jumped as it had been sitting for a while, then we washed it.  I got to rescue some frogs – they had taken shelter in the space between the doors and the trunk area.  They were slimy and I’m pretty sure they pissed on my hand.  But it was about to freeze that night so they needed to be moved!

We went to Home Depot for some trim as Drupon wanted to finish the retreat hut.  I was amazed at how much had been done on it since I was there last.  And actually, Drupon had only been back about 3 weeks including the holidays, so that means he had done a lot on it very recently.  When I left, it reminded me of a large storage shed – cedar plywood was the floors and the walls, and the “ceiling” was just rafters with the plywood on top.  You could see the shingle nails poking through.

Then when I checked it out, it had been completely transformed – it had faux wood flooring, bead board wall paneling, a drop drop ceiling and there was trim everywhere, except between the floor and the walls.  So that is what Drupon and I completed.  I should say he completed.  I merely held the light and fetched tools and put down caulk.  It was pretty cool.  I have some building experience but it has been years, so it was fun to be a part of that process!558001710_a4aae7fb76

One of the things I miss about Florida is the variety of birds.  A large red tailed hawk flew right by me as I pulled into the center and then later as I was leaving.  The trees are pretty thick, so it has to fly at a lower level to get into and out of its nesting tree.  That was pretty cool.  Then there were the local cranes – (I think they are cranes, have not looked it up yet) tall grey water birds – passed through the Dharma Center’s yard.

 

Amazing!

Teeny Tiny Insights into Animal Communication

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Several people have remarked that I am a dog or cat whisperer.  I’m not so sure.  I have heard of animal communicators being able to easily “hear” or feel what an animal is feeling, needing, thinking.  For me it is different.  I don’t think I am one of those “special” types of animal communicators…  but maybe.  🙂

Now don’t get me wrong.  I love animals and I always have.  When I was in middle school, having a cat on my lap was one of the things that helped me get through that stressful time.   And when I can (when I live in a pet-friendly location), I have had a cat living with me as an adult.  And if I am unable to have my cat with me, then he lives at my parents’ home, along with a dog and several other felines.

So what do I do?  What do I notice about animals?  First, I have noticed that most (rescue) animals have some form of abuse they are recovering from – whether neglect or some other traumatizing experience.  And therefore these animals are similar to humans in that they require time to develop trust.  You can’t just feed a dog once and expect it to open its heart to you.  You have to spend time with the dog – my parents’ dog Max- practically thinks I am his primary owner because of how much attention I give to him when I am around.  He will always lie down at my feet when I am sitting on the couch or at the computer.  That is because I “listen” to his non-verbal cues – when he wants to play, if it is light outside and decent weather, then I go play ball with him.  He loves to fetch, he loves to be chased and he loves to play keep away from / with me.  He is awesome if you can get into that energy with him.  But this relationship with him has taken months or years of development.  He now knows that I am his buddy and that if he makes a strong request, I will probably honor it.  And as a result, he plays with me in ways that make my little brother jealous.  My brother asks, “Why won’t he do that with me?”  And my answer is, “Because he does not trust you yet.  Your behavior is inconsistent and unpredictable.”

Then there is Rocky, my parents’ previously feral kitty.  Rocky was a stray cat some years ago.  But he could be seen from time to time eating the other cats’ food on the porch.  Then they noticed that he had some kind of abscess or other disease causing his side to appear caved in – there was something wrong with him for sure.  So I took it upon myself to wean him onto human contact.  It took two weeks, but I slowly left trails of food leading to me as I sat motionless on the porch.  At first, he ate the food far away from me and then scampered off.  Then he slowly crept closer to me, eating the food and watching me suspiciously.  And finally, toward the end of the two weeks, he ate the food leading up to and near me.  So I touched him and he skipped off.  The next day he got close again, but this time he allowed me to pet him a little before bolting.  And on the last day, I was able to pet him more and more.

Then he was on the porch more often.  So another day, I put a little trail leading to me again and he ate it, coming up to me.  So I plopped him in my lap.  He promptly jumped away.  But then he ate more food from my hand.  I put him in my lap again.  He jumped off immediately!  This continued for about half an hour.  In fact, to this day, he is still rarely happy if you put him in your lap.  Sometimes, if he is the one initiating it, he will lie in your lap for a short time.  But now he will come when he is called.  He will happily sit next to you if you are nice to him.  He is a very unusual cat to be sure – wagging his tail when he is happy, coming when he is called, being the smallest cat and yet acting like the alpha male.  But my parents attribute his being in their home because of me.  I’m not too sure 🙂

And the last cat story is about Pumpkin, my parents’ anti-social kitty.  He hates being picked up.  He will only lie close to you if it involves a comfortable bed.  These and other anti-social behaviors make him a pariah in their house.  But he is actually misunderstood.  I took it upon myself to spend time with him to discover what he needs or how he could fit into their home easier.  And I was pleasantly surprised with what I found.

Pumpkin is a sweet kitty.  He is the rolly-polly type of cat.  When he is outside, he rolls in the grass or the gravel when you are walking near him.  But once he gets inside the house to eat, he starts acting anti-social (unless you are about to feed him).  Anyway…  I spent about a month out there and I had some time to work with this sweet cat.  I found that he was actually comfortable being pet if you touched him very lightly.  Any firm pressure and he would bolt.  But a light touch or a light stroke and he would eventually start doing the head rubbing on the couch or the covers of the bed.  Plus he will eventually start purring.  I would spend time petting him and just wishing him well and eventually he started to come around (but only with me).  He would let me sit next to him without running away and he would let me walk right up to him outside.  In fact, one day I picked him up and put him in my lap which would never last long in the past.  He wanted to leave, but I reassured him – petting him and restraining him.  Eventually I lay down and put him on my chest – again he tried to leave and I “reassured” him.  He fell asleep on my chest.  It was a first for this previously anti-social cat!  My mother was shocked – “Is that really Pumpkin?!”

Unfortunately, he is a skittish cat and my 16-year old brother ran into the house, scaring Pumpkin.  And the cat left claw marks where he dug into my chest to zip away.  Youch!!!  So I learned my lesson too!

There was a time when I was running after the dog outside and we scared Pumpkin into the woods.  Eventually the dog got away from me and I was walking back.  Pumpkin was still in the tangled roots of a large fallen tree.  He was obviously seeking its shelter and protection.  But I called him, squatting down and making myself low.  Soon he came to me which was a huge surprise.  These days, if you call to him and sit on the ground (this is only outside), he will come slowly, then roll around a bit.  Then he will approach a little more, and then roll around some more.  It is a frustrating process but he will eventually get into petting range  🙂

Once you do establish trust with an animal which can take months, they will let you know if you blow it!  There was one day I was staining the deck when Rocky approached – obviously to come close to me and make contact with me.  But he would have gotten stain on his precious little paws!  So I stomped and hissed and shouted at him to run away, and he got the message, but he meowed at me in a tiny whiny voice (which was actually very strange – he is the one cat which rarely, if ever vocalizes his needs).  It took a day or two to regain his trust, but I tried to tell him I did that for his protection.

So basically the moral of this story is to take it slowly with animals.  Be clear with them – if you can’t commit much time every day to petting them or spending time with them, you should tell them you are busy.  They want to make contact with you.  They want to share their hearts with you.  But only if you show them you are worthy of such an honor.

Thanks for reading!

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Winter Retreat, day three

This material is copyrighted by M. Kirby Moore.  Reproduction without permission is prohibited.  Thank you for visiting!

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This was a shorter day as I am trying to practice good self care before school resumes in January.  If I have to take an 8 am class, I will be waking up early for 14 weeks straight…  so that makes a 5 am retreat wake up call less enticing!  Anyhow, today I was at retreat from 9 am until 8 pm, still a good chunk of time!  With that said, someone or something still tended to wake me around 5 anyway…  but then I’d roll over and fall back asleep!  But I must say that being connected with a potent retreat, happening less than two miles away, makes for an increasingly active dream scape!  Cool!

Today was good.  More stabilized.  I wonder when I say something is incredibly positive – I had a tendency in the past of waxing a little manic, so I’m on to that pattern now.  Yes, more stable, good good!  Nevertheless, today had some powerful moments.  10 – 12 was the Ganges Mahamudra and that was potent again.  One thing I wonder about is this: if it is true that one MUST have an authentic Guru who has realized Mahamudra themselves in order to have it pointed out, then I hope everyone who is coming to this retreat has an authentic teacher!  Because if not, they might be generating some positive merit…  but they will never realize Mahamudra on their own.  [As an aside, without an authentic teacher, even if someone has a vision or a glimpse of something powerful or a blissful state of consciousness, without a Guru, they can never be sure what they saw or experienced…]

Hopping down off my soap box now…  🙂   My favorite part of this day was doing the Zapchen section.  Khandroma Julie Henderson, whose name you will find scattered throughout this blog, is a phenomenal teacher.  I am saddened that she is getting older and therefore taking on less students these days, but at least she has taught many incredible student / teachers of her own!    During this retreat we have slowly been deepening the practice during the Zapchen session, so as this day was day 6 of the overall retreat, there was some potent material to be sure!

In Julie’s retreats out in California and when she teaches in Nepal (so I have heard), she goes pretty deep.  And considering all of her students have been doing Zapchen for a while, it is quite appropriate and well contained!  So on this day in retreat we did the Zapchen equivalent of Guru Yoga practice and Wow!  I wonder if it is at least as powerful as the Drikung Kagyu Ngondro version of Guru Yoga…  Seriously.  Getting the body prepped through somatic exercises, opening channels and moving energy and then dissolving your heart in the heart of the Guru is pretty special.  Mmmmmm  Yummy!

Then during the Metta Loving Kindness section of the day, I found a powerful way to incorporate some pre- and perinatal psychology work – I basically did Metta toward myself as a fetus in utero.  Very juicy stuff!  I definitely needed a nap after this afternoon section!

Then…  as if it could get any better!!  I did a dream during the 6 – 7 dream dance (drama dream therapy) section.  Anywho…  so this involved me telling my dream and then setting up the other participants to play roles within the dream.  I got to explore being a jagged rocky ledge, then a long chasm and even still played around with filling the chasm part with vines and lush bushes.  It was fantastic.  We played with themes of approaching a slippery slope, taking a leap of faith, allowing the world to catch you when you fall.  It was awesome.

Yet again I’m glad I went.  Some days I have a ton of resistance to going.  It is so rejuvenating and potent, how can I keep away?  And yet I find a way.  All I can do is show up right here and right now.  🙂

I hope everyone has a wonderful New Year!  Tashi Delek and thank you for reading!

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My relationship with Destructuring

This material is copyrighted by M. Kirby Moore.  Reproduction without permission is prohibited.  Thank you for visiting!

As some of my long-time readers may know, I have been on a “spiritual” journey since 2002.  That was the year I started studying Zen Buddhism, did my first meditation (without an authentic teacher) and had a near-death, out-of-body experience while having my appendix removed – which is a story for another time.  I credit the year 2002 as a major turning point in my life.  I started studying Western Astrology (and Karmic, Evolutionary and Spiritual Astrology) a year later and then got into Reiki and Craniosacral Therapy by 2004 / 2005 respectively.  So there was a lot happening internally, which I was not aware of at the time.  When I had the out-of-body experience, I met my guides for the first time, and I suspect that meeting (whether they are internal or external guides) was a catalyst for many changes to come.

It was in 2006 that I felt I finally came home when I met my Drikung Kagyu Lamas – Khenchen Konchog Gyaltsen was one of my first heart teachers.  He gave me refuge and Bodhisattva vows initially.  Then it was through his hints that I started investigating Drupon Thinley Ningpo more seriously – and eventually I would realize that Drupon Rinpoche is my main teacher.  It was in 2006 that I attended my first serious Buddhist (teaching) retreat.  And sleeping in a tent across the street  from the Lamas’ house meant I was still in the mandala 24 / 7.  I was a volunteer at the center and I cried, laughed, hiked and I absorbed as much as I could about this familiar new paradigm.

And I learned about doing the Drikung Ngondro practices – specifically about the refuge section.  Ngondro means to “go before” or “preliminary” practices.  These are specific to each lineage with slight variations between Kagyu and Nyingma and Gelugpa, etc; but some of the practices are the same.  (I have several posts on here about the refuge section of Ngondro – see the archives.)  Anyway, I learned a little about doing prostrations and doing the refuge practice.  Actually, when I began doing my prostration accumulations, I knew very little about what I was actually doing or why.  But I am a Pisces and faith is not my shortcoming.  So I had and continue to have faith in my teachers and in their teaching the Buddhist path.  And I knew that doing as many prostrations as I could manage (without causing myself harm) was the way to go.

Therefore in the four to six months after that first retreat, I completed thousands of prostrations.  I feel that this big initial push was the catalyst for my de-structuring to start rapidly.  In the next year or two, I would complete thousands more, continuing the momentum leading to my body / mind’s abandonment of old, out-dated structures.  I should note that the typical “finishing” point of the refuge accumulation is 111,111 prostrations.  I am still not there yet.  (I am just an ordinary human being and life has kept me quite busy, but I am looking forward to completing my accumulations.)

So I had begun the De-structuring process without even knowing I had done so.  I pushed myself to get through the local community college (2007) and then I applied and got into UVa.  And I nearly completed my B.A. at UVa (2009) before the rough storms of inner destruction ravaged my energy levels and sapped my motivation to network and connect with many people.  For three years I thought I had some health problems as I would go through waves of varying fatigue and increased introversion.  Luckily I had a good mentor for this in Julie Henderson – I would check in with her about once every six weeks.  And I had my blood tested – and the doctors did not find anything “wrong” with the results.  Khandroma Julie told me to just stick with it.  She said the process of de-structuring could easily take three years – in terms of what I was going through.  But she said that the other side was well worth these shitty side-effects.  She said that the combination of my Dharma practice, my studying / doing Zapchen Somatics (and doing some intensive retreats in this modality) and studying / receiving bodywork in Craniosacral Therapy was contributing to the destruction / re-formation of inner structures.  Basically I had dived in without knowing where I was going, but thankfully I had a teacher who knew the Western mind well enough to explain what I was experiencing.  * * * See my footnote at the bottom of the page please * * *

Today, near the end of 2013, I can say that I think the process of de-structuring is nearly over.  My energy levels are returning (especially when I practice solid self-care).  My awareness of my poor habit choices is very clear.  I know right away when something is not good for me – I receive bodily sensations which I am able to interpret.  I am able to embody and ground and come into alignment within minutes, even if I have chosen a poor habit for a few hours prior.  And I am able to approach more types of individuals and be more compassionate toward them, as I am able to empathize with them easier (and I am now less reactive than I was seven years ago).  Plus I now get a lot out of doing the Zapchen Guru Yoga practices and of course I get a lot out of doing the Drikung Kagyu Guru Yoga practices (not that I have any experience, but I do feel much clearer and cogent when I do either of these!)

As you can probably discern, I am very happy I began this process.  And I am extremely grateful to all my teachers, mentors and guides.  Without them, I would have swerved off the path long ago and who knows where I’d be!  And this is my own path.  I have included bits and pieces from several traditions and I have made it my own.  I still have much to learn and as I mentioned, I am still toward the end of the De-structuring process.  I don’t know what it will look like when this is “over.”  (If I can even say that!  I suspect that psychological learning is life-long.)  But I am excited about the possibility of feeling more alive, more joy, more ease and being more authentic.  And I have definitely started re-orienting to this “new” me.

I should mention that you should find an authentic spiritual teacher before you begin any rigorous spiritual or meditation type exercises.  I’m not sure a yoga teacher always counts (unless they have more than just an X*100 hour teacher certification under their belts – they need to embody what they teach).  You need to find someone who can communicate with you with ease and someone who knows your mind and your habits and your predispositions.  Diving into a yogic / spiritual path unassisted (like only through reading books) can lead to confusion and misunderstandings at best, and in the worst case scenarios, someone can blow a fuse by pushing themselves too hard without a teacher to track them.  So do be careful and find an appropriate guide!

* * * Footnote: I am not publishing this material as a way for someone who is on a “spiritual path” to use this knowledge as a way to avoid getting appropriate health check ups.  Even if your spiritual teacher thinks he or she knows what is happening inside your body, if you are in pain or are having unusual symptoms which last for more than a couple weeks, you should really consider going to see a licensed health care provider.  I personally am not a doctor and I do not claim to treat, cure, prevent or diagnose any disease or illness. * * *

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Further thoughts on Destructuring

This material is copyrighted by M. Kirby Moore.  Reproduction without permission is prohibited.  Thank you for visiting!

In Julie Henderson’s Somatic I Ching, she writes:

“[Gua 23] is usually called Splitting Apart, a time when conditions as we know them are severely threatened or being destroyed.  In somatic terms, it represents de-structuring, which can be quite an unnerving, even shattering time.  In the course of coming to know what you are, there are many times when what-you-thought-you-were – all the structures of body and mind you identify with – dissolves or dies or is shattered by circumstance.  This gua is about those times.”

As I started to mention in my first post on this topic (go back and peek at it if you’d like), not everyone is ready for such an unnerving process.  Not everyone even wants to change.  Some people are content with their little neuroses and that is completely fine!  It takes time AND effort AND requires skillful mentoring to shift our inner psychology.  But for those of us who realize there is something not-quite-right internally – which could reorient or re-callibrate – and who want to change if we possibly can, then this post is for you.

And please keep in mind I am not just advocating destructuring, but also we need to take time to restructure once the destruction of old habits is finished.  Basically we can rebuild our tissues, reprogram our cellular memory and start to move and think and be with ease and more grace, more fluidity.  Now, you might be thinking that this sounds too good to be true.  And if you thought all this stuff could happen over night, then you are right!  This process is not a one month fling – “Oh you know, I think I will go out and buy the “reprogram my cells” agenda…  get this fixed by next month…”  Nope!  This is a process that requires commitment and a deep desire to see it through in spite of all of its ups and downs.  This is also not a one year process – this is more like a five to ten year plan, and that is if you have relatively positive karma.  For most of us, it could be a fifteen to twenty year process…   So again, it is not for everyone!

In my next post, I will discuss my personal process of de- and re-structuring.

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What is Somatic Destructuring?

This material is copyrighted by M. Kirby Moore.  Thank you for visiting this blog and I hope you enjoy this post!

I seem to take pleasure from biting off more than I can chew (when it comes to blog topics), and here I may have done that again.  Therefore, I am going to have to provide a lot of context.  And, I have tried to do some research on this topic, but I have not found much.  So all I have to go on are my teacher’s words – Julie Henderson speaks about this quite a bit – and my own intuition / experience.

Somatic of course means of the body (living sentient body).  And destructuring is pretty obvious, but in case not, it is the breaking down or taking apart of something (in this case parts of the body).

Somatic Destructing is the breaking down of old patterns and habits of holding.  Because it is actually affecting the physical body – the cells, the fascia, other connective tissue and even the muscles and organs – it is not an overnight process.  It is a slow process.  It can come about for a number of reasons but first and foremost, we have to have an openness to change running deep in our veins.  If we are happily stuck in a rut, or if we chant the mantra, “If it ain’t broke, why fix it?” over and over again, then your body is going to listen to your mind.  But if you mind knows there is a better way.  If you have mentors and teachers who embody wellbeing, who are lighthearted, playful, kind and compassionate, then you can slowly shift under the right conditions.

So it can come about because of psychological shifts.  Or it can come about through spiritual practices: meditation, prayers, prostrations, mystical dance and maybe even through shamanic journeying (I’m not sure about this as I do not have a lot of experience journeying), etc.  But basically, you have to have an inner motivation to change first.  Second, there needs to be outer conditions to foster the change.  If we are stuck in an abusive environment, you had better believe you should keep your defensive responses going until you are in a more permanent safe space!  Your body will not shift until it fully believes and trusts (and this alone can time lots of time) that it is safe and in good company.

Also, Somatic Destructuring is difficult.  It is challenging re-learning who we are.  Watching as the old “you” slowly dissolves is one of the most uncomfortable experiences I have yet to endure in this lifetime.  As a result, it is not for everyone – even if they meet the first two parameters above.  But if you want to shift and if you know it is possible and have some good guides for the process, then it does not matter what age you are – you can always do your healing work and start to shift towards wellbeing!

Personally I am not done with my restructuring yet.  But I know I am close.  In my next post, I will describe this curious phenomenon more.

Thanks for reading!  If you want to support my blogging efforts, you can purchase a Spiritual Astrology interpretation through his website at www.mkirbymoore.com or if you live in Central Virginia, you can purchase a Craniosacral Treatment which I actually recommend more.  Thank you!

Conceptus

Wriggling, wiggling

Clinging, Gripping

Writhing, rising

Strong, verdant, long

Tangled net of life

Filling space

Reaching up

Sunlight feeds my core

Soft landing

Fertile woman

Lush womb

 

~ a poem arising from Winter Retreat 2013 by Kirby Moore

Difficult Cardinal Aspects this holiday season

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How many people felt emotional intensity on Christmas Day – two days ago?  How many of you are experiencing intense, over-energetic days right now?

As usual, I need to start out by saying that Astrology is a subjective topic.  I cannot write one blog post and describe everyone’s experience, because we are all so unique.  We are even unique moment to moment.  So my own perceptions and thoughts will change around this topic soon!  With that said, this post is about the confluence of Uranus, Pluto and Mars in a cosmic T-Square, which is nearly exact as I type.  Then (on X-mas day) the Moon crossed over Mars, making a few hours of emotional intensity likely for some people (I will describe who below).  And over the next few days, the Sun and Mercury will move to conjunct Pluto, also getting into this intense Cauldron of Volatility.

The Cardinal signs are about taking the initiative, moving forward, and making changes.  The general theory (overly simplified theory that is) is that the Cardinal sign people – the Aries, Cancers, Libras and Capricorns of the world – are the ones who come up with many unique ideas about how to move their own lives forward, and how to move their company, their employees, their family, their groups forward.  Then the Fixed sign people are the ones who sustain those good ideas, they are the ones who are stubborn enough to keep going in spite of obstacles.  And finally, the Mutable sign people are the ones who are the communicators – they are peace makers and playful diplomats who go between the Cardinals and the Fixed people.  Of course the actual situation, no matter what, is more complicated than this (because we all have some Cardinal, Fixed AND Mutable energy in our charts – somewhere and to varying degrees).

Here is what is happening right now: Pluto is at 11 degrees of Capricorn, making a Square (tension, conflict, action which feels forced) aspect to Uranus which is at 8 degrees of Aries.  Then (today and tomorrow anyway) Mars is at 9 degrees of Libra making the difficult larger aspect called a T-Square (like a three legged, unstable table) whose outlet is in the sign of Cancer, because at least for now, there is no actual planet near the 8 to 11 degree point of Cancer.  I have a lot of mention or else I would explain more at depth here…  ask questions if you want to!

On Christmas Day, the Moon also crossed the 8 degree point of Libra, where Mars was situated, adding a heightened element to this already hot mix.  So that might have been a challenging day for some people.  And then coming soon (starting today or tomorrow – December 27th / 28th), the Sun is moving toward the 8 – 11 degree point of Capricorn, along with Mercury.  So New Year’s Day, the Sun will be exactly conjunct Pluto (at least along one axis), with Mercury having crossed Pluto a day or two prior to that.  So, this is not over by any means.

In general, when planets like Pluto and Uranus make a tough aspect like this, which is a rare occasion I might add!  They will be within 3 degrees of each other for about 3 years.  And this case is no exception.  This is due to their retrograde motions – they part from each other for a few months, and then due to retrogradation, they come back into orb…  for about 3 years!  So of course that entire time is not going to be a hot tempest of emotions and unexpected changes.  So how do we know when there will be personal affects from this broad, over-arching aspect?  It is when the personal planets (Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus and Mars) get involved.  And guess what?  The personal planets could not be more involved than they are now.  Mars entered the scene first and the Moon crossed briefly through, and then the Sun and Mercury will move into play.

So who will potentially be affected by these cosmic giants interplaying with the personal movers and shakers?  People who have personal planets around 7 to 12 degrees of Cardinal signs will definitely feel this.  AND people who have a Cardinal Rising sign or a Cardinal MidHeaven will feel this especially if their rising sign is between 7 and 12 degrees.  Therefore this is not affecting everyone.  And it will not affect the people I describe above equally.  Why not?  See my previous posts about frequency-based astrology – we all have unique individual karmas.  And astrology is simply a glimpse of your karma – once you purify the gross negative karmas, then you will be affected less and less by tough astrological configurations.

I do not have the space or time to go through and write exactly who will feel what.  For instance, this cosmic T-Square will affect someone with their Sun at 11 degrees of Aries differently from someone whose Moon is at 11 degrees of Cancer.  And Mars at 11 degrees of Capricorn people will feel this differently from people with their Mercury at 11 degrees of Libra.  But…  the essence of those personal planets will definitely be piqued!!  For instance, is Mercury is the personal planet “under scrutiny” as it were, then your mental energy and perception of details and mental pace will all increase during this time (due to Uranus’ and Mars’ affects).  Likewise for Venus, your relationships with people, with aesthetics and with money many shift during this radical time.  Mars being tweaked by this T-Square could bring separations, conflicts, added energy and increased competitive energy.  And the signs will make a difference – Venus in Aries is vastly different than Venus in Capricorn!

So what are some potential remedies for this difficult week?  Slow down!  You will not receive any cosmic messages if you are bopping rapidly from event to event, from party to party.  And even if you are in the midst of hectic travels to and from relatives houses, take a few minutes to catch your breath.  See what your body is trying to communicate to you.  Is my digestion happy?  What does it need today?  How can I slow down just a little bit more?  Slower gentler yoga would be very helpful and meditation, especially in an established, authentic tradition would be very helpful.  Because purifying one’s karma on the meditation cushion is much better than having a physical event purify it for us!  (I’d rather have a really irritated, angry day meditating than have an angry reactive encounter with another human being.)

Well I tried to summarize this hectic, busy, energetic and transformative configuration in less than a thousand words.  I came close.  I wish you good luck with your process!  And you can always feel free to contact me for an astrology interpretation if things are getting too intense for you.

May all beings experience ease and clarity!

Thank you for reading!