Meditation Informs Healing Facilitation

I picked up my friend and fellow yogi from a Richmond bus station. He was vowing for a while never to travel via cheap Chinese bus again.. and from what he was saying, I can’t blame him! Long story short, he took a flight home. 🙂

Arrived to find a dirty and dusty house, on the beach. Apparently the owners had decided to winterize the house, but they forgot to change the heat filters, so there was a layer of dark dust on everything..

The metaphor is not lost on me – we would need to purify our outer mind as well as inner mind streams! We had a bit to do with cleaning and dusting the following morning before more participants were set to arrive. It was fine though. A large, beautiful house with massive vaulted ceilings in the living room, with ample space to play and go through Dream Time, it was great. And it was right on the water.

Retreat started at 2 pm on the 18th. We pondered for a time about what our intention was for being there. I had two intentions but I chose the shorter of the two – I want to be awake in dreams. Simple right? That intention would change over time though – because I want it to be realistic. Could I realize wakefulness in dreams in 10 days? Not so much.

And being born in Hawaii, and raised there for a time too, you might find it humorous that here I was at a stormy winter beach on the East coast of the US, and my initial thoughts were, “this beach sucks.” Just being honest – that’s where my mind was.

At first, I wasn’t a huge fan of the gray skies and the cold, downright bone-chilling frigid temperatures. But after a few days, it started to grow on me! Plus dolphins were playing in the surf just about 20 feet past the breaking waves, there was a falcon which seemed drawn to glide around just outside our window – which only happened when we were in session?! And the sunrises were so so majestic. The last day – when we did Lama Chopa practice (offerings to the root and lineage lamas and teachers) and then a Tsok offering (a special sacred feast offering where we offer food and then we get to feast on it), the sunrise seemed the most sublime.

On that first day, my yogi friend and I were the only two males present, with about four or five women participating. And we had signed up for cooking and cleaning duties. So at one point, he pointed out (just humor here, not trying to imply anything!!), “Hey look, the guys are cooking and cleaning in the kitchen, and the women are all moving furniture!” It was funny in the moment – think retreat mind. We had not yet entered noble silence.

The first 2 – 3 days of retreat I slept in, took a nap here and there, and even went to bed early one night. It definitely took me a couple of days to go from 70 mph of busy life to slow down to 5 mph of retreat mind mode. Thankfully I had 10 days total down there!

Write more soon!

Thanks for paying attention,

~km

I just returned from an incredible 10-day retreat. Actually, I returned about six days ago and somehow found myself dog-sitting at one house and cat-sitting at another nearby home for those days. (Note to self – I prefer being around animals post-retreat, rather than fast-paced, coffee-brain-type people; but I would rather not have to do anything for several days after retreat. No dog / cat / house sitting post-retreat next year!)

Retreat itself was magnificent. It was held at a beach house just south of Virginia Beach. We got to watch the majestic sun rise most mornings. I was in charge of shrine care and offerings – filling water bowls every morning at 5:30 am, always keeping a candle lit, and offering incense throughout the day.

It was a very dynamic retreat format. We blended somatic processing work (Pre- and perinatal psychology, Zapchen Somatics and other embodiment-oriented exercises), dream work (primarily from Continuum Movement teacher Susan Harper), Tibetan Buddhist prayers and Thai Buddhist meditation. Oh and we were able to do a lot of inner child work as well – during the Metta (loving-kindness) hour.

Therefore I believe this to be one of the most efficacious retreats I have ever been on. No longer do I believe that I will chant enough mantras and everything will be magically fixed and blissful. No longer do I believe that only deity yoga practice or enough silent sitting will remedy my double binds and other wounds from my early developmental and primal periods (primal period is from pre-conception up until we start talking – about 18-24 months). This is known as spiritual bypass. When we think that doing enough Qigong – working with the Heaven and Earth and moving energy through us will fix unmet childhood needs – not going to happen. Sorry to burst any bubbles. Don’t get me wrong – qigong, mantras, zazen meditation, deity yoga are all exceptionally quality forms of self care and spiritual practices – but sometimes we have to dig deep if we truly want freedom from suffering.

[Edited: as a side note, I think I need to write a longer post about whether or not the Buddha-Dharma contains all we need to attain enlightenment, efficaciously swiftly and parsimoniously. I wonder if there are modalities which serve as good supplements to the Dharma. Or as H.E. Khenchen Konchog Gyaltsen put it, these other modalities might fit under the purview of “Process Buddhism.”]

Rather, I now firmly believe that I have to repair / resource my inner baby / toddler / childhood wounds. No more beating around the bush. I spent an average of one to two hours a day on retreat saying the Good Mother Messages to my little (in the womb, little 3 day old, little 7 day old, 11 day old parts of me – very little!) baby-prenate-fetus self. There was an embryology book there which I used for the pictures of these little bizarre blastocysts and fetuses. Seriously some of those pictures could easily be alien babies forming too :-O

But I have never experienced the juicy resourced feeling that I did toward the end of retreat. To spend that time with my little one, and then from time to time, staring out at the vast ocean and the boundless sky – curiously wondering about where these two great spaces meet (apparently at the horizon). I am hooked.

I hope my family doesn’t mind – I might just have to have early or late Christmases most years if this is when this 10-day retreat is occurring. Especially at the beach – I’m not going to drive an extra seven hours to go home for a day or two. Rather rest in the unity of clarity and emptiness. I don’t expect you to understand that, but that is why I took this rebirth on this planet – to free my mind of dualistic grasping.

This is the perfect slingshot for my new year. I see myself teaching more workshops and classes once I get through massage school. And now I can bring this new level of clarity with me, and hopefully I can access it with ease via sitting, yoga, self care and more good mother messages! And of course I intend to continue my Dharma practice – I took refuge in the Buddha, Dharma and Sangha (first and foremost). Refuge is still my go to, grounding, resourcing, matrix of support practice.

I will write more when I get the chance – I especially want to describe one of the dream work sessions. Just wow!

For now, want to rest in Ahhhh…. with me?

Thanks for reading,

~km

P.S. if you are able to contribute to my blogging efforts, that would be much appreciated! This blog costs me $99 / year to maintain and so far I have not been paid for the small ads I have going on it. Very grateful!

 

It’s that time of the year again! Time to go quietly into the darkest time of the year.

At least as quietly as a radiant compassionate smile, or the volume of full ripe noble silence. 🙂

I am participating in another dynamic Winter retreat that involves some silent meditation (Vipassyana or Shamatha), some Zapchen Somatics (simple moves toward well-being), some guided meditations (the Eight Jhanas or the Anapanasati Breath meditation) and some Dream Play (dream work where we act out the role of a character from someone’s dream).

It is an amazing time for dropping into a deeper, longer, more radiant, inspiring and creative rhythm. It warms my heart to sit with good company and practice right action, right thought, etc.

Also, I am not the most diligent practitioner on my own (e.g. I can do about an hour of practice max most days before I start to feel a pull toward the dark side…). However, during a retreat, I am able to drop in deep and sit or do somatic exercises or do qigong or play with dreams from 6 am until 9 pm (with a few breaks in there). Oh I should mention that napping is not only allowed, but it is highly recommended!

I have had my most profound experiences on this retreat in the past where I would seriously nap for three or more hours per day. Especially if I am living a busy lifestyle, working many hours or pushing my way through full-time school work, then slowing down via sleeping is the way to go. Talk about catching up on some rest 🙂 I’m sure it is so very good for my kidneys.

It is most likely too late to join us this time around, but here is the website in case you want to get on Janet’s email list regarding these profound and uplifting retreats:

Janet Evergreen’s website re: meditation retreat

If you know me or Janet, you can lean into us energetically from Dec 18th – 28th and feel the support of a warm, supportive, light-generating, healthily-connected group!

May all beings know warm hearted connections now and going forward! ❤

Thank you for reading!

~km

Recently, I was invited to a precious gathering. There was a yogini / acupuncturist, a yogi / health educator, a shaman / bodyworker and myself. (So you know this might be a potent evening!)

We had dinner and then gathered for a 45 minute meditation.

My friend led it. She introduced a Nyingma type of meditation (Dzogchen) that they also apparently do at Ligmincha – a Bon po retreat / meditation center near Charlottesville VA.

I am not authorized to share the meditation, so I’m not going to. And I wouldn’t share it outside of the person-to-person transmission anyway (reading something vs. hearing it / feeling it / and being able to clarify / ask questions at the time is quite different!).

I will however share what arose for me.

Feeling into my heart, at first, there was very little spaciousness. I had had an extremely busy week – packing, studying, working, seeing clients, selling books on Amazon etc – hectic busy at times. So at first, my heart was less than spacious. Makes sense.

Then within 5 minutes, my heart opened up and somehow I started seeing fantastic galactic objects in my heart space – nebulas, colorful pastel gas clouds, stars, comets… it was wild!

Then I felt both inner space (which I just described) and outer space – not the black void outside of the Earth, but the space around me. Was there a difference between my inner space and the space around me in the room?

About 20 minutes into the meditation, I somehow felt a strong strong pull toward the center of the Earth. It was as if Mother Earth were tugging at my heart strings and I was almost at risk of being sucked down into the Earth. It was comfortable though – it was somehow one of the most grounding things I’ve ever experienced.

We were instructed to look around the room without having our eyes stop on any object. Nothing to discriminate about. Nothing to judge or categorize. Just see if inner space feels like outer space – no difference! Wow.

This was quite an interesting meditation. I look forward to going through it again. I am going to ask my friend to lead me through it if she has time. Pretty phenomenal!

I definitely believe I have a strong connection to the Nyingma lineage of Tibetan Buddhism. I have been “raised” Drikung Kagyu – but in the Drikung lineage, there is a lot of overlap with Nyingma masters. There have been several Tertons in the Drikung sect.

It is what it is. I am looking forward to heading back to this gathering in the future, as it seems to draw some rockin’ individuals!

Thanks for reading. Please donate to my massage school / blogging effort fund if you are able (so so grateful!).

km

Hello dear readers,

I am so very excited to be going to massage school in beautiful, sacred, pristine Crestone Colorado in January (later in the month). I will be driving out there, so just that road trip will be an adventure!

I have started a Go Fund Me page to assist me in getting the funds I need to feed myself and pay for all the miscellaneous costs – laundry, gas money, buying materials, etc. Fortunately through the generosity of a friend and my parents, I have the majority of the tuition, lodging and fees covered! Yay!

If you want to donate, you can either click here:

Kirby’s GoFundMe page

Or you can click on the link below.

I am doing the home study work (studying at least an hour / day) for school and I am learning lots of interesting things – plus I get to color all the muscles of the body. 🙂

Ethics, Business Management, Anatomy and Physiology and Pathology are the subjects I am learning now. Which will mean at school we (I) can focus more on the meridians (Qigong, acupressure, Shiatsu), reflexology, Swedish massage and more! As they say in Tibetan, although this has a bit more of an anxious component, I am “Tsa gyi Tsi gi chai gyi du” – meaning I am excited and nervous about this upcoming time!

Thank you for visiting and if you can donate, thank you for that as well!

 

Hello dear readers,

As you probably have heard, I am heading off toward the setting sun in January, so I should say the low sun and cold days, driving West to go to a unique massage school. It is a heaven and earth school, meaning that in addition to massage techniques, they teach a lot about the acupressure meridians and we do qigong almost every day. I love the sound of that!

Crestone Healing Arts Center

And yet, in spite of much to do, furniture to sell, things to pack (I am moving out of my apartment for four months – finding new housing when I return) and home study material to pore over.. I am staying busy with clients! I am very happy about this as I need to money. But it is a pattern I have noticed.

In 2013, when I was prepping to go to Florida, I somehow had dozens of clients in the last months prior to leaving! How bizarre! And it might be happening again.

Maybe I need to constantly be preparing to go somewhere – like every three months or so. Then my practice will be full when I am here =^P

As far as my quasi retreat is going (I intended to do more practice during the month of November), I am still doing yoga or qigong every morning. My meditation has fallen off a bit, but I get to my cushion every other day or so. At least I am practicing sound self care, eating well and listening to my body & heart about finding a good balance between being social and getting enough rest / integration time.

Thanks for reading!

km

Hello dear readers!

I just got my home study books for massage school. Exciting! And it is amazing how many chapters they have assigned to have finished in the next six weeks – I think 2 or 3 chapters a week of reading will be necessary, plus memorizing countless muscles. Thank goodness I have a bit of background in Anatomy and Physiology already! Whew!

I have been told many great pieces of advice about the school I am going to. Some days it is literally studying, learning and practicing 12 hours a day. So I was told, “Don’t bring any novels – you won’t have time to read them!” And of course I will be reading so many other books, I wouldn’t want to strain my eyes like that!

I am definitely looking forward to the hiking – the School is at 8,200 ft (high desert mountains) and it is hiking distance from some 10K and 11K mountains. Plus it is in sight of some 14,000 ft peaks! Not to mention being close to some hot springs and the famous sand dunes. It should be very interesting what all this looks like in the winter time!

I am excited and I already have my work cut out for me. I will start when it is easy. Tomorrow is Friend’s Giving and then Thursday is Thanksgiving with my family, so maybe this weekend I will dive into the material.

I am still giving great bodywork sessions in the time leading up to driving West. If you are in Central Virginia, let me know for in person bodywork. If you are at a distance, let me know if you want to discuss your astrology chart.

Thank you for reading,

km