Meditation Informs Healing Facilitation

In spite of prepping to leave for school, staying busy!

Hello dear readers,

As you probably have heard, I am heading off toward the setting sun in January, so I should say the low sun and cold days, driving West to go to a unique massage school. It is a heaven and earth school, meaning that in addition to massage techniques, they teach a lot about the acupressure meridians and we do qigong almost every day. I love the sound of that!

Crestone Healing Arts Center

And yet, in spite of much to do, furniture to sell, things to pack (I am moving out of my apartment for four months – finding new housing when I return) and home study material to pore over.. I am staying busy with clients! I am very happy about this as I need to money. But it is a pattern I have noticed.

In 2013, when I was prepping to go to Florida, I somehow had dozens of clients in the last months prior to leaving! How bizarre! And it might be happening again.

Maybe I need to constantly be preparing to go somewhere – like every three months or so. Then my practice will be full when I am here =^P

As far as my quasi retreat is going (I intended to do more practice during the month of November), I am still doing yoga or qigong every morning. My meditation has fallen off a bit, but I get to my cushion every other day or so. At least I am practicing sound self care, eating well and listening to my body & heart about finding a good balance between being social and getting enough rest / integration time.

Thanks for reading!

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got my books for massage school; need to study :-)

Hello dear readers!

I just got my home study books for massage school. Exciting! And it is amazing how many chapters they have assigned to have finished in the next six weeks – I think 2 or 3 chapters a week of reading will be necessary, plus memorizing countless muscles. Thank goodness I have a bit of background in Anatomy and Physiology already! Whew!

I have been told many great pieces of advice about the school I am going to. Some days it is literally studying, learning and practicing 12 hours a day. So I was told, “Don’t bring any novels – you won’t have time to read them!” And of course I will be reading so many other books, I wouldn’t want to strain my eyes like that!

I am definitely looking forward to the hiking – the School is at 8,200 ft (high desert mountains) and it is hiking distance from some 10K and 11K mountains. Plus it is in sight of some 14,000 ft peaks! Not to mention being close to some hot springs and the famous sand dunes. It should be very interesting what all this looks like in the winter time!

I am excited and I already have my work cut out for me. I will start when it is easy. Tomorrow is Friend’s Giving and then Thursday is Thanksgiving with my family, so maybe this weekend I will dive into the material.

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I am still giving great bodywork sessions in the time leading up to driving West. If you are in Central Virginia, let me know for in person bodywork. If you are at a distance, let me know if you want to discuss your astrology chart.

Thank you for reading,

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marketing what I offer

A few months ago, I was speaking with a loving relative, when I told her about being a rare male in the field of Pre- and Perinatal therapy (PPN), plus offering biodynamic craniosacral therapy, Polyvagal bodywork, spiritual astrology and Tibetan Buddhist practices. I doubt there are many people on the planet who can offer what I am able to.

And coming up in January, I am entering a massage school which is more of an Eastern school of medicine, a Heaven and Earth school, than a bare bones (no pun intended) kinesthetic anatomically oriented school. There we will focus heavily on acupressure, Shiatsu, Qigong, Tai Chi among other beneficial modalities.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not complaining about my wealth of modalities and skills. But sometimes it is tough to clarify what it is that I offer. Why would someone want to pay me $75 or $85 / hour? Especially if I don’t take health insurance. Therefore I don’t have enough clients, some months I struggle financially.

With that said, I am a pioneer. Whether it is in the PPN field (because this field is so cutting edge), or the helping-people-embody area (this is fairly new as well when we bring compassionate trauma resolution work into the picture), or looking at PPN topics in the astrology chart (not many people doing this either). The work I do with babies and mothers, of supporting the family in a biodynamic manner – assisting mother (and hopefully) father to slow down enough to come into the same awareness of organic pace that their baby is in, this work is also quite rare – it is birth process work (PPN again) with biodynamic craniosacral and Polyvagal (working with the nervous system) work informing it.

And I need to clarify, concisely and precisely, exactly what it is that I do. This is what my intention is over these next 6 to 12 months. How am I going to thrive on this planet? How am I going to attract what I want and need?

Energy follows intention. So I need to be clear at all times what my momentary and deeper intentions are. 🙂

I’m not sure what this blend of topics will look like. I suspect I will choose one or two and focus on them. And this massage school is a positive step in that direction.

Wish me luck! (and donate to my blogging efforts if you like)

Thanks for reading,

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Ri Wo Sang Chod (Mountain of Burnt Offerings)

Had a good time this evening on Afton Mountain at a friend’s house.

I led a practice of Ri Wo Sang Chod, which is a bit of a shamanic practice: making offerings to countless beings, most of whom are unknown and unseen. This vast generosity practice helps to purify negative karma or at least karmic debts we might owe to them and others.

There were six of us. It was chilly – 40 degree F plus a gusting cutting wind. However, I did qigong practice with another friend this morning, which I think helped to open up my channels. (Side note – we did seated qigong, which I did not even know was a thing!) I mention my channels because, other than my fingers, I wasn’t cold at all. It was pleasant to be visualizing Guru Rinpoche above my head and beseeching him to assist in the burnt offerings (because I can’t see any of those non-corporeal beings).

The sun was setting. Some of the rare clouds above were golden hued in the waning light. I was experiencing bliss among friends (who mostly all were shivering or struggling to keep their hands warm). This was one of the first times I did not worry about that. I was visualizing the Om Ah Hung syllables strongly radiating white, red and blue lights from my three places. May I be of benefit to countless beings.

It was fun. Then we went inside where it was warm and had a delicious potluck meal. Good stories, good company, right time, right place, right practice. 🙂

May all beings encounter the precious teachings and put them into action! (And then realize the fruit of authentic practice.)

Another aside – a friend recently commented that I am a Ka-Nying. Meaning that I have many Drikung Kagyu practices and teachers under my belt, however, I also have many Nyingma practices that I do (and maybe even a few Nyingma teachers). Very fascinating!

Differentiating levels and layers of healing

There seems to be a Ray Castellino theme on here…

This most recent video discusses many things – including the functional range (how do we stay in the healthy range of our nervous system?), what it takes to be a Pre- and Perinatal (PPN) Practitioner, he differentiates PPN Practitioner from Educator from Trainer, and finally he discusses the differences between healing trauma, just receiving bodywork and actually going as far down the rabbit hole as possible to work through preverbal trauma (actual PPN work).

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I appreciated how he emphasizes that doing preverbal work, the deepest PPN work, whether it is preconception, conception or gestation phases, is like opening a barn door – the horses and cows will just come and go as they please. That is unless we are really diligent, we work with a very skillful professional team and we have ample professional, clear, presence-cultivating support around us. Otherwise doing the PPN work is messy. I like this description.

That’s because one or two of my clients and peers have remarked, “I have been doing this work for months [or years if they do it sort of part-time], why does it feel like there is so much further to go?!” That is why I feel it is appropriate to let our clients know what they are getting themselves into. This PPN work is the best container for healing our deepest traumas and unmet needs, AND it will take a minimum of 3 years to heal it if we have ample resources and are willing to lean into a qualified and skillful team of support practitioners. Because most of us (we are talking preverbal material here) resist getting support, I think it is more appropriate to say it will take at least 5 years for most people. There is unfortunately an imprint in most of us that says, “I should do this alone.” That is what we learned, it is what was modeled for us, it is what we built a body around. :-O

So if someone is only able to do a session a month say, and does not attend many birth process workshops or womb surrounds (a small group that meets for 3 or 4 days straight and provides the best container for bringing up deep material AND allowing us to integrate it at the same time), then I think this healing process is more like 10 years.

That sounds like a lot, but moving toward being a whole person, a complete being is so so worth it! In a previous video by Ray Castellino, he mentions that pushing aside our shadow material (repressing or suppressing it), for a short amount of time is fine. The problem is if we push it aside for years, then cells of our body start to also feel pushed aside. These cells start doing their own thing – they go out of control. Yet these cells feed on our bodies. And this process is called cancer.

Not trying to scare you at all, rather just pointing out the reality nature of our soma / psyches. Body mind healing.

Enjoy!

Meeting Ray Castellino

7 Principles for Harmonic Resonance & Natural Sequencing

I just have to post (promote) this video of Claudia McClean interviewing Ray Castellino. It is about Sequencing and more importantly (perhaps) about the Creative Collective Process – how can we work more efficiently in groups or as individuals. It references a number of Pre- and Perinatal Therapy (PPN) concepts but most of what they are discussing is understandable to a lay person.

Amazing how he describes how energy that is locked up in our shadow can come forward with ease (with a solid practitioner’s guidance) and we can honor that experience, integrate and gain from bringing light to that part of our shadow selves.

Just. Wow. I am going to look for more of his videos as he explains things very succinctly yet thoroughly.

Link to Ray Castellino youtube video

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Semi-retreat stalling a bit, but virtuous conduct continues

For all of you regular readers (thank you BTW!), I have been attempting to maintain a semi-retreat in the month of November – which meant doing one to three (or rarely four) hours of practice a day, in addition to maintaining a life as a lay person in Virginia, USA.

The past couple days though, I have been lucky to just get in an hour. Yesterday it was juicy Svaroopa Yoga when I awoke (30 mins). Then later in the day, I did another half hour of Qigong and actually later I sat Shamatha meditation for 20 minutes. So that’s not too bad.

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Today I have only done 30 minutes of meditation. I am getting busy though – which I am also thankful for. Off and on since May, when I quit my full time restaurant job, I have been living off savings, which is a little stressful at times. So starting to be busy again means seeing more clients, which is all to the good. I am assisting with two bodywork classes this week and even seeing an astrology client (first in a few months due to a busy summer).

I still haven’t scheduled my massage school interview, but I was led to believe it would possibly be next week (Thanksgiving week). Hopefully that happens soon so I can start buying the books and getting a jump on the studying!

I have been more social though, which is great. It’s like this semi-retreat is creating the solid foundation I can spring off of into the world. And then come back to from time to time to resource, rejuvenate and center.

If you are in the Charlottesville / Afton Virginia area, there is a smoke offering ceremony (Tibetan Buddhist – a Mountain of Burnt Offerings) being conducted by myself and a local monk. That will be followed by a pot luck supper. Let me know if you are interested in attending.

Thank you ever so much for reading!

Venus in Virgo in the Natal Chart (Spiritual Astrology)

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The astrological interpretation of Venus in Virgo in the natal chart is often times less-than-positive. Authors talk about the individual being critical of their partners, nagging and cold. Some karmic astrologers even go so far as to say that Venus in Virgo is the sign of someone who has been less-than-loving in a past life (lives) and that debt is coming home now. Of course, when criticism comes into the mind, loving-kindness generally departs swiftly, this is fairly obvious. But how can we simply stop this deeply ingrained, crystal-clear yet critical gaze in its tracks?

With all this said however, what is guaranteed with Venus in Virgo? Will the individual put off marriage (due to their seeing imperfections in potential partners)?

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I would argue that like astrology in general, where I practice frequency-based astrology, people with Venus in Virgo are quite unique – we cannot place them all in one basket and hope that our interpretation will work out for the majority of them. Frequency-based astrology says that we must determine the frequency of the individual (where they are spiritually, emotionally, maturity-wise, self-care wise, renunciation, etc) before we can paint an accurate picture of how their astrology chart reflects their lives.

I have found, at least here in the United States, that most of the time, Venus in Virgo is associated with a strong religious upbringing. This could be a strong Catholic influence or it might be a strict Protestant environment. However, this is not always the case. When religion plays a role, Venus in Virgo is often joined by other planets in Virgo (or a strong 6th house stellium for instance). If I see three or more planets in Virgo though, I am almost always rewarded with a surprised answer when I say, “So your family was quite religious, right?” Yep, usually the case.

Sometimes Venus in Virgo comes with a strong familial heritage – I have several clients who were raised in tightly-knit immigrant families here in the United States. In their culture of origin, there are a lot of “shoulds” about what a good girl does and does not do. In these cases, religion has less to do with the strict Virgoan perceptions. But the inner critic is there nonetheless.

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I believe that most people have the resources internally to change their minds. Literally to transform their mental attitudes and patterns. Now, as you can probably surmise, this is not exactly easy to do, nor is it going to be a fast process.

However, life does this for the large majority of us. We put up enough resistance to necessary change that eventually we realize that the only thing causing us suffering is our resistance, and we begrudgingly shift our stance.

Likewise, people with Venus in Virgo can change their minds and melt any frozen tissue around their hearts, allowing in some openness, acceptance, and compassion – basically embracing the mystery which their Venus in Pisces cousins so easily put their faith in.

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Keeping all of this in mind, two more things before we wrap up. First people with Venus in Virgo might be the late-comers to the relationship table as it were. These people might put off marriage or partnering for some time. Rarely – like Venus in Virgo in the 12th or 6th house rare – Venus in Virgo might prefer to be a recluse or live a hermit lifestyle. And even then it is not set in stone – look to the Moon’s Nodes for further information on this topic.

Second, it is possible for us to delve deeper below the conscious surface and to literally change our minds and our heats. See my previous posts about doing birth process work or Pre- and Perinatal Therapy or working with Double Binds. Once we start to ply apart the tangled web of inherited patterns and habits and assumptions from our ancestors (honoring them in the process), once we have the desire to heal our ancestral lineage and start working with a professional who has the skills to hold that type of container, then we can gain more equanimity or strengthen our loving-kindness and compassion to become a different person. I know it sounds kind of preposterous. But I have done it. Where I was fifteen years ago, and where I am today – people from my high school do not recognize me; it is literally a night and day change.

Working with legitimate heart teachers can change us for the better, and drastically change us. We can become more resilient, clearer, more articulate about our needs, etc. We can fully embrace our inheritance as human beings. 🙂

So if you have Venus in Virgo, don’t fret. Find an authentic spiritual teacher or a spiritual (religious) lineage that you resonate with and start doing some practice. Work to melt any icy areas around your heart. Forgive yourself, your parents, grieve anything that was left incomplete, etc. And if your karma (frequency) is positive enough, then you have nothing to worry about. The colder more critical side of Virgo may have transformed to come out through service and generosity and loving-kindness.

Thank you for reading!

Semi-retreat and baby steps

The current semi-retreat I am on is going well. Although some days I get in close to an hour of practice and other days it is longer. I also want to add to my list of practices from a previous post (yoga, qigong, meditation, Dharma practices): add body scan meditations and good mother messages.

Good mother messages are what we learn about as an antidote to babies either misunderstanding birth trauma and feeling neglected, unloveable and / or less-than-safe or rarely, babies actually are less-than-safe (which breaks my heart, no seriously, this hurts to contemplate). Anyway..

Here some typical good mother messages, although I have seen lists of at least 50 different messages: “I love you,” or “I want you,” or “You don’t have to be afraid any more,” or “I love you for who you are, not for what you do.” These messages are all geared toward repairing early trauma and restoring health to our little ones (inside). Of course, if we are parents of babies, then it is really really good to be saying these messages to our kids!

It is recommended to say these good mother messages to pictures of ourselves as babies everyday for at least a year. I still haven’t gotten to that lofty threshold. The longest I said them was six weeks I do believe. But I just wanted to mention that this practice would be good to do at any point – a form of metta practice as it were (loving-kindness meditation). Who knows what we might discover doing these?

The list that I work from has 15 Good Mother Messages on it, which is pretty comprehensive, but some people re-work it and make the message much more personal.

At present, I am noticing some resistance to doing these messages (which might be just the reason TO DO them!), so I might not get to it tonight. But at some point this month, I will add it in.

Thanks for reading,

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Semi-retreat is both contemplative & active

If you have been keeping track of my previous posts the past couple weeks, you will remember my mentioning being in quasi retreat. That is because it was my intention in the month of November to pretty much take time off. I have been doing that pretty well.

But let me be clear. When the word “retreat” is used by someone who practices Tibetan Buddhism, they are often referring to a time of solitude and intense meditation / Dharma practice. A retreat is usually at least five days of solitary practice if not much much longer. I am not going that far.

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For me, I am using the word retreat in another connotation: to withdraw. What am I withdrawing from? Any behavior that depletes me – binge watching Netflix shows for instance, playing computer games, being around people who bring me down, etc. And I am withdrawing toward a space where I practice more self care (and Dharma).

Most days I am doing between one and three hours of practice. And practice can be anything from yoga (I do Svaroopa yoga mainly – yin yoga or occasionally I do a few Kundalini yoga breathing techniques), qigong, meditation, mantra recitation or prostrations. Some days I do two or three prostrations, other days I get up the nerve to do a hundred. All in all, I am doing a better job of practicing very sound, very solid self care.

And as I withdraw into a restorative space, I am finding myself getting more and more requests to do stuff – whether to see clients, to be social or to assist in teaching bodywork classes, etc. Therefore, I am doing my best to balance a desire for contemplation this month with a desire to be active in the world and hopefully benefitting beings.

May it be so!

Thanks for reading,

~km