Hello Dear Readers,
In this post, I am sharing my personal experience, regarding Western Astrology, and in particular, aspects in my chart. And it primarily has to do with Neptune and Pluto.
Also, instead of only writing about positivity, or writing when I feel really good inside, which was my tendency in the past, I am sharing a bit about the struggle I have been dealing with over the past couple of months.
First, I have Pluto conjunct my Moon in my natal chart – I have the classic Hades Moon. I could do a series of posts about this, so I won’t dwell on it here. Needless to say, I know about Pluto and life-or-death energy, as well as compulsive yearnings, both in my chart and in my personality.
Second, I have a Pisces (Neptune rulership) Sun, in the 8th house (Pluto’s domain). I have Neptune (from my 5th house) square my Pisces Sun in my natal chart. So I have both a lot of Neptune, Pisces, Pluto, and the 8th house.
Transiting planets are stretching me in this moment, and over the past couple of months. Neptune has been transiting right at the end of Pisces, still widely conjunct my natal Sun (5 degrees separating), so that has been in effect for the past 3 years or more.
In addition to this, in my Progressed Chart (Secondary Progression), I have my Progressed Moon squaring transiting Neptune (and my Sun), and I have both my Progressed MidHeaven and Ascendant making hard aspects to my natal Sun. Oh, I might mention that transiting Saturn is also in the mix, in Pisces, conjunct my Sun from the other side (5 degrees approaching).
With all of this said, I have an addictive personality (all I had to do was say Neptune square my Sun…). Some months and years even, it is not an issue, but for the past couple months, it has come back with a vengeance… Leaning into support, taking time to rest down, and just not starting anything which leads to obsession is the way I am dealing with it.
Ooph. Thankfully, I have done a TON of work on myself. I have been extremely fortunate with the teachers and somatic process practitioners in my life, and I have been on the receiving end of hundreds of bodywork, process-work, and therapeutic sessions. I thank my karma everyday. And in spite of all the personal growth work I have done, I am still tempted to regress several times a week.
Most of my vices these days are innocuous. I play board games online, or I write fantasy stories. (I may or may not actually finish this novel one day.) If I get started with either of these pursuits, it is really difficult to stop (Pluto). If I lose a game online, I want to play again – because I am bound to win that one, right?! This gambling tendency is due to Neptune in my 5th house (speculation and playful risk taking).
I realize this is not much to complain about. It is a complete first-world problem. I’m not having a crisis. Overall, I am quite blessed. But I don’t like this swinging back and forth which can happen. And then I beat myself up about it pretty bad.
With all that said, I feel like I am a bit of a wayward Bodhisattva. I am able to benefit many people with my healing and astrological work. I even lead a bi-monthly meditation group. But if my energy levels are swinging up and down, I have some days where I’d rather not see any clients. Yet I do need to pay the bills!
With many aspects to my natal Sun, and a lot involving Neptune, I am more sensitive at the moment. Also, the veils are thinner for me at the moment – the veils between the worlds (in other words, I can occasionally see into the spiritual realms). My meditation practice is more efficacious as a result. I don’t need to sit as long. And I occasionally see unique and unexpected insights regarding my client’s healing process (with what I might call a “second sight”).
I need to be careful however – if I do too much practice, too many mantras for instance, then my inner pendulum swings mightily toward the healing side. A big swing one way leads to a counter swing the other way. And then I am tempted even more to regress.
Pluto alone can lead people to want to have peak experiences – more, more, more! They are not content with the mundane, they want to go further. They don’t want good – they want perfection! Add to this tendency Neptune’s traits of having spiritual experiences, and then you can have a mess on your hands. I only want to have big, huge peak spiritual experiences. I want to “see the light!” I want to have a vision every time I sit on my cushion… Ugh. Thankfully, I am beyond this combination. I am okay with some days having a mediocre meditation session. I am okay with where I am. But this is still a lot of energy and yearnings to keep track of!
Therefore, I am waiting with confident patience. Walking the razor’s edge of an advancing spiritual path. Practicing when I am able. Doing a little at a time. I know that this too shall pass (and I can see when in my chart).
May all sentient beings have the support they need. May they ask for help. And may we all be free of suffering and the causes of suffering!
Please wish me well throughout this trying time. I wish you well with whatever you are holding.
Thanks for reading,
Kirby
Meditation Informs Healing Facilitation 