Hello Dear Readers,
This spring has been a bit of an astrological headache for me. Some days I have been disheartened to be certain. As a matter of fact, there was one day in early May that every transiting planet was making a hard aspect to my Natal Chart (thank goodness for my spiritual practice – the only adverse effect I experienced besides a lot of extra irritability was dealing with a traffic violation). These “difficult” aspects or one might say, learning experiences, include Saturn squaring my Natal Pluto / Moon, Jupiter square my Natal Sun conjunct Neptune and more… Ugh!
And now the Transiting personal planets are beginning to enter my 12th house meaning it is a time of more incubation, inside time and continuing to allow the hatching of more presence, awareness and stability. But assuredly not a time of pushing outwardly to get more clients! (Tr. Mars is currently in my 12th, with the Moon entering it temporarily for its monthly 3 day journey, then Mercury enters soon, followed by the Sun and Venus is not too far behind! Should be quite an interesting two months…)
By the way, please make a contribution to my blogging efforts if you haven’t already! Thank you for supporting my spiritual practice / blogging efforts! If you make a contribution, feel free to pass me along a list of names – I will say healing mantras and pray for you and your loved ones each month. (I do this most days anyway, but having a specific name always helps!)
Needless to say, I am anxious to get my business (bodywork, healing facilitation) off the ground. So far, it has been growing in fits and starts, but since March, I am not getting many new clients (that is the trouble with being a good healing facilitator – we turn over clients every 2-3 months as they start to get better! I jest of course about this being trouble.) I returned from the amazing Taoist Massage School over a year ago which you may want to go back and read the posts for – it was a magical experience! I was there from late Jan – late April 2018. And I was all juiced up from doing Qigong and other forms of Chi cultivation for four to five hours / day… yes you read that correctly! So of course I pushed hard for new clients and was all geared up for learning new massage techniques.
It is funny though how when Saturn comes along and makes a hard aspect to Pluto, or in my case to both Pluto and the Moon, we can suddenly start to second guess ourselves as obstacles begin to show up that weren’t there before. In my case, these are mostly inner obstacles. I am not 100% certain what to focus on in my practice (I only offer about 10 modalities…) I don’t know if / when / what I should teach – I do want to teach soon, but just not sure what. Many questions and few answers right now. I am struggling to rest patiently and confidently in “I-don’t-know” mind.
Which is why I sat earlier and wrote out a new intention for my meditation. I want to clear my mind, settle my nervous system and purify karmic obscurations AND asked, “Where should I put my energy?” and “How can I best be of service to sentient beings and rest in ease-full abundance?”
I was surprised (not that I should be by this point) to get an answer in the form of a vision pretty quick. I saw the space around my clients and around my appointments being vacant, almost void like. And I was swiftly reminded of one of my aspirations for 2019 – that is to Fill My Container and to quickly Patch Any Leaks in it. So that is my next mission…
More practice, more inner orientation (at least for another 5-6 weeks) and more weeding out thoughts / conduct that take me out of having an open loving heart. It is a lifelong process – especially for those of us with deeply ingrained habits and patterns of dissociative behavior (in my case, it took the form of computer games and reading / writing fantasy stories). Slowly leaning into support, learning more about the nervous system, resting down, slowing down, spending more time in nature, eating well, etc. Doing the inner weeding is worth it though!
Most years I typically dread the summer time. And I am a Leo Rising who loves the sun and swimming and going to the beach, etc! I believe this sense of dread has to do with the annual parade of personal planets through my 12th house (which always starts around late June if not sooner – at least for Sun, Mercury and Venus). As I increase my inner stability, increase inner light and repair / release more and more shadow material, then this time will only get easier. Thank goodness that change is guaranteed! 🙂
Thank you for reading!