Gibson Lake below Kokanee Glacier

In the picture below the lake, of the avalanche path, those mountain peaks are at least 3,000 feet above us.  Every slope of the mountains seemed to have those slices of cleared trees through them, where bushes are now growing.  Meaning avalanches happen quite often up there!

Above the old growth forest, we continued driving on the logging road for another 5 to 6 km and we came to a large parking area.  I wish I had taken some pictures of the trucks in that lot.  They were nearly all surrounded by chicken wire.  Apparently porcupines are a problem up there – they will gnaw on brake cables and tires and whatnot.  After getting out of the car and walking around, we quickly discovered Gibson Lake.  This is a large but shallow lake under the glacier area.

Hiking around old growth cedars

Hiking around in the Kokanee Glacier park, we first climbed up a rough wash-boarded logging road, where 4-wheel drive is recommended.  We had to go extremely slow as a result of having a low front-wheel-drive hatchback.  5 km up the logging road, there is a little parking area to hike around in old growth cedar forest.  It was very serene and beautiful.  It felt a little like being in northern California (but to be honest, the Muir Woods monument is still the most peaceful “temple” of nature I have ever been in).  With that said, we encountered several trees that were between 500 and 800 years old and the one oldest tree is 850 years old.  There were great signs explaining everything about the old growth forest – animals, riparian areas, trees, insects, etc.  Everything was very well marked!  Someone is doing an incredible job of trail maintenance and education up there.

The 9 sided meditation hut (the nonagon)

We taught meditation and Buddhist chanting in the nonagon.  Plus Ken has wrapped copper wire around a lot of the rocks in the ground around the structure and he has the wire coming up into the middle of the nonagon.  It is possible to meditate while holding the wire and there is a noticeable energy that is coming through (sort of a pulse for me) and it seemed to shift things in people’s heads – cranial bones.  It was pretty wild.  Maybe not for everyone though (if you are extra sensitive, then maybe go easy with this exercise).  The Nonagon was where Myrna conducted her turns in the mornings.  Therefore it was quite charged up – lots of healing has happened in there!

the environs of the PPN training were ideal

The setting for the summer intensive is quite idyllic.  Peaceful, fog shrouded mornings, followed by mountain-breeze-filled, sunny afternoons, pleasant evenings with chilly nights.  I will try to post pictures soon.

For those of you who are reading my blog for the first time, I did training with Myrna Martin and there were 12 of us participants, along with 3 teaching assistants plus the 2 head teachers (Myrna and Ken).  You can find her site here: http://www.myrnamartin.net

Looking out over the valley each morning, the large mountains of the Kootenai Lake valley were opposite us.  They were about 5 to 6,000 feet high with evergreen trees rising up their steep slopes, usually to the top.  Further in the distance, rising slightly above the northern, closer peaks were higher mountains still.  The Kokanee Glacier lay hidden behind those, about 30 km away or more.  The guys (myself included) would hike around that Glacier park during the middle weekend.

The three of us males were down from the main house.  I stayed in a large dome type set-up – not quite a tent, but not quite a permanent structure either.  I had one dome-mate and there was plenty of space for both of us.  We each had a twin mattress and boxsprings to sleep on, along with piles of blankets which I actually needed during some of the chillier nights.

Ken and Myrna are really big about living greener lifestyles, so they grow a lot of their own food – they had blue berries, raspberries, strawberries, sea buckthorn berries, pears, plums and more.  Most of these were ripe while I was there (definitely recommend being there in August!!).

Walking further up the hill, above the main house, is the “super dome” as some of us called it.  They have a large dome structure, similar in material to the residential domes, but the large dome could easily hold 30 people, seated.  They had a screen and a projector there, where they would show birth videos, yoga videos and power point presentations, etc.

It was definitely more rustic!  We used composting toilets every day – these were actually buckets that we put peat moss on each time we went to the bathroom.  They were emptied every day.  The warm showers were nice but most mornings I would step out of the shower into a chilly morning, so it was refreshing and occasionally bittersweet.

They have beautiful gardens scattered all over their property.  They must have had two dozen cherry tomato plants as well, so these were always available to snack on – right off the vine!  Plus they had a large fountain with a Buddha and Kuan Yin statue nearby – very serene and perfect for their intention.  In addition to that, they also had a hot tub!  I watched the sun set several times from the hot tub.  It was the perfect way to rest sore muscles after a mid-day hike.

And speaking of hiking, my dome was close to the gate which was down at the end of their driveway.  And beyond that, I could be on a hiking trail within minutes!  It was so nice to head up the mountain and explore the dozens of hiking trails.  I’m good in the woods and with direction, so I was never concerned about getting lost.

In fact, one day I took off intending to discover a loop trail.  I knew generally where it was and where it led to, but I did not know how long it would take.  Therefore I was jogging half the time.  I was later told it was close to 6 km long and I somehow finished it in under 30 minutes!  It was very steep coming down though!

There were several cats on the property which was nice.  They sort of broke up the intensity of sitting with my psychological, developmental stuff.  I could just pick up a cat and have good company in my lap for a short time!

They were having issues with their internet, so it was perfect.  It was one of my intentions to have less screen time and I think for the entire 2 weeks I had about 20 – 30 minutes of internet, email checking time.  And of my goodness, it was refreshing to be away from Facebook for 2 weeks as well (especially with all the polarizing political garbage going on).

They are up in the mountains, so bears are a potential issue.  Therefore they have an electric fence around their property.  There was one day that a bear cub somehow shimmied over a gate and was eating blue berries.  Ken had to chase him out with a shovel.  Fortunately we did not see that cub’s mother!  And I went for at least six different hikes while I was up there and never saw a bear while hiking.  I did make noises every 10 yards or so, knowing I was hiking alone, I did not want to startle a bear or a coyote.  Rather have them know I was coming and mosey on out of my way  🙂

All in all, they have set up and created the ideal space for a process workshop.  Negative ions from the woods which surround their property, lots and lots of views of nature and mountains and flowers abound.  And they must have at least half a dozen statues of Kuan Yin scattered throughout their property.

Day 1, 2 at PPN intensive, Nelson, Canada

If readers are interested, I am going to be slowly going through my journal and detailing what we did each day.  Of course some information about other people’s (participants) turns is confidential, I will just be describing my experience and my reactions and my thoughts on the process.

Day 1 – Monday.  We were a pretty large group – 17 including 3 teaching assistants and the 2 teachers (Myrna Martin and Ken Martin) plus 12 participants.  Therefore the morning was entirely taken up with 10 minute introductions and check-ins from each person.  In the afternoon, we chose beads to see which 6 person pod we would be a part of (for the entire 2 weeks) and then later we also chose beads to see which smaller group of 3 we would be a part of for the first week.  This group of 3 changed people for the second week.  We discussed what people needed to feel safe and comfortable, we discussed how much support was available there are the retreat – we could talk to the TA’s and the teachers at any point about our process.  A 10 or 15 minute check-in was easy and encouraged.  Also if we wanted, the TA’s were also available most evenings for an hour long session that we could pay additional for.

Most days we had delicious breakfast at 8 am, then occasionally we would have a snack around 10 am.  Then an organic delicious lunch was served at 12:30 pm.  There was almost always a break / snack time in the afternoon – 3:30 pm or so and then dinner was served at 6:30 pm.  The food was incredible and Andria did a wonderful job of accommodating at least 6 different food sensitivity needs – some people were vegetarians, others were grain free, one person was gluten free and others wanted to have at least 1 serving of meat per day, and so on!  To be honest though, I might go back just for the food (and the beautiful clean pure environment) it was so so so good!

Day 2 – Tuesday.  The morning was the first turn with Myrna.  Without having experienced a process workshop or one of her trainings, it will be difficult to describe fully what a turn looks like.  Also, each person’s turn is determined by their intention.  If someone’s intention is to explore their birth patterns in relationship to psychological boundaries, then the turn will almost always involve a re-birthing of sorts.  A turn might also explore conception and implantation without getting to the birth – we would have the chance to re-do the genetic coding of whether or not this world we live in is safe and comfortable and encouraging of exploration and play (vs. dangerous and survival is the only thing we can be concerned with!).  Some people’s turns explored adult type issues like boundaries with partners, boundaries with family of origin, etc.  Therefore there is no one way of doing a turn.

The process for determining whose turn it was, is very important and revealing and insightful as well.  First Myrna would ask, “is everyone here ready to support someone’s turn?”  And then she would ask, “who here knows it is not their turn today?”  Next we would get into checking in about how we feel about taking a turn if we did not raise our hands to that last question.  On several days, multiple people felt like it could be their turns, and we would negotiate about how we felt about taking that turn.  Only once did we have to choose a number between 1 and 20.  And on that day, both people we basically working with the same nuances of their birth process.  Therefore, in spite of not taking that particular turn, the other person felt like they too took a turn that day.  It was pretty amazing!

Once we knew whose turn it was, we went around affirming that it was our turn to everyone.  For some people, each of these steps could be a huge deal, and therefore we went slowly allowing for whatever wanted to arise to do so.

The first turn was extremely potent.  There was a little bit of a negotiation that took place to see whose turn it was but once we got started (knowing whose turn it was), it proceeded to deepen further and further.  It did not involve a re-birthing as far as I can recall.  But we all did somatic motions with our hands as toxic words and emotions were released and we “shoveled” that crap out the windows.  It was a big day of release and reclamation.

That afternoon we did what seemed like a relatively simple exercise involving ropes and cords.  We set up our little bubble of space and that was our boundary.  We could make it as large as we wanted to or as small as we liked.  And then we would explore having someone put their bubble nearby us.  And then we got to feel what it was like to have someone put something in our bubble without our permission.  For some reason, in spite of having done this exercise at least four or five times previously for various workshops, I found this exercise to be very activating!  I was a part of a group of 3 people who were fairly sensitive, so I think we all felt a lot during this playing with boundaries game.

It turned out that each afternoon we would do a different edgy – potentially-emotionally-charged exercise and our TA mentioned that each exercise could give rise to multiple turns (as in 3 hour turns).  They were that informative and insightful.

I think it was this day that we had a sushi bowl.  This was by far my favorite meal that we had at the intensive (I mentioned to some people there that if there was one food I could survive on for the rest of my life, it might be sushi!).

Each day built of the previous day as we were slowly building up to exploring our own conception and birth processes (in week 2).  Therefore just about everyone became more and more exhausted by the end of the first week and definitely once we got into the 2nd week.

By writing this, I feel that I am recollecting the beautiful energy and container and cohesion of the group I was a part of.  The principles of safety and saying no and contact etc created a marvelously safe and comfortable space for dropping deep into emotionally charged waters.  And frankly, that kind of container is extremely difficult to find in any kind of workshop or training!  (This is coming from someone who has done dozens of various types of retreats and workshops and trainings.)

Thanks for reading!

~km

Land of the Goddess

The intensive, or pre- and perinatal (PPN) psychology retreat, was held on very potent and positively-charged land.  Myrna Martin and Ken, her husband, have been farming fruits, berries and veggies on that land for more than 30 years and they have been hosting process workshops for the last 16 years.

Myrna is a big proponent of home births.  And rightfully so.  When we have a relatively (and all births involve some strain and difficulty) smooth birth, and we can lay on our mothers with skin-to-skin contact for at least 15 minutes, and then when we (the baby) feel the impulse to crawl to the breast and nurse, we create the foundations for secure attachment.  And if there is good support for both Mom and Dad, with a good birth keeper (midwife) present, many positive things can come from birthing at home.  Of course having a skillful and properly trained midwife is necessary to know if and when transport to a hospital is needed.

Long story short, their land is just infused with safety and potency and the divine feminine.  The principles of safety and confidentiality and comfort and being able to say no to anything and being able to call a pause whenever you feel you need one create a container which is very difficult to find outside of her trainings.  And of course, the majority of her students have been women.  This makes sense – women are more likely to be able to go to those vulnerable places, they are more comfortable doing emotional process work in general, and they are far more concerned about learning how to become a birth keeper.  (Just for the record, Myrna does not teach midwifery, as far as I know.)

Taking all of this into account, I was very pleased that 2 other males participated in the training with me.  And Ken was a teacher, so that made the male population 25%.  That is much higher than I am used to in bodywork classes.

It is no wonder I was drawn to do Green Tara practice while I was (in the evenings) doing the training.  Not that I know what I am doing in the least.  But with that said, I taught the mantra to several of the women there and I also taught them the Om Ah Hung practice that we learned from Khenchen Konchog Gyaltsen at the Tibetan Meditation Center in Frederick, Maryland.  In fact, when I was doing Green Tara practice with one young woman in particular, I felt something very unusual – my body was very present and grounded while my awareness of reality expanded beyond what was normal.  That was pretty cool.

I may have over-done it a bit.  I offered astrology to two different participants in exchange for bodywork and a Taro reading.  Plus I went hiking on Saturday and did kayaking on Sunday.  With such full psychologically-churning days and full evenings, I probably could have spent more time resting down and purposely pausing to integrate.  But overall I am glad for how things worked out.

I don’t have many goddess experiences to relate, but as I was winding down in Spokane Washington, having a leisurely lunch with one of the TA’s from the intensive (she was to leave the next morning), I had one little goddess encounter.

I’m not entirely sure why it occurred and I’m not entirely certain I was really grounded and embodied, but I definitely sensed a large feminine presence (a goddess) hovering over me in the restaurant and having her hands on the sides of my head.  It was almost as if her hands were in a craniosacral type of hold.  Whatever the case, I rested back and enjoyed the sensation for at least 60 seconds.  My new friend, the TA may have been talking, but I was much more focused on sensing in to what was happening around and within me.  And then the sense of the goddess’ presence was gone.

[Which goddess?  I don’t know.  She was altruistic and loving and gentle.  She did not have much of a form that I could identify.]

And then I began my long journey eastward to Virginia.  Home now, I can honestly say that the PPN work is indeed life changing!

Thanks for reading.

~K

back in Virginia, many emotions

Now that I am back in Virginia, I am noticing many reactions to not being in a vast wilderness of long lakes, towering mountains, not-so-distant glaciers and amazing people (of British Columbia, Canada).

I am reminded of one young man I met at the co-op in Nelson (BC) who said that he was there from Quebec.  I asked him if he was vacationing and he said “No, I am here building a life.”  He also had a very loyal black labrador retriever who waited outside the store and then followed him, without his needing to look back.  There is a simplicity about most of the Canadiens I met, a refreshing, leisurely, calmer simplicity.

Many of the people I know and many of the people I meet here in Charlottesville Virginia are distracted, and I mean heavily distracted from their true selves.  Whether it is a Pokemon game on their phones, spending hours on Facebook (and now that I have been back 24 hours, I am starting to become guilty of this), busily talking about American football formations for long spells or by watching every FC Barcelona (soccer) game they can get their eyes on.  Heck, I have a list of shows I have watched (on Netflix or Hulu) in the past year, and I have watched at least 1 whole season of 6 or 7 different shows!  Talk about leaning away from my authentic self!

I feel like I have been waiting for something.  Of course, nothing is going to move or change me from the outside without some impetus and impulse from within.  But I feel as if my trip to Canada was that impulse. I desperately wanted things to change, but I didn’t know how to do it previously.  And I’m now afraid I might fall back into that pattern.  There were a number of obstacles which arose to block my making it to Canada, but I’m so glad I persevered through my inner resistance!

So how I can stay more heart-centered here?  With many responsibilities pulling and tugging at me, how can I get out in nature more often and easily?  How can I maintain open-hearted connections with friends here in Va?  How can I integrate all the juicy material we covered at the intensive?

These are all vital questions that I need to find answers for.

In the meantime, I am attempting to practice the Dharma – nourishing my heart and soul.  I am starting to ask for connections with others here who are connected to the PPN work.

But I miss the land and the mountains and the clean water and the non-venomous wildlife and the lack of ticks.  I miss the touch of the cool morning air as I step out of the outdoor shower and rainy mist that said goodbye to us as we parted ways.  I miss being able to step out of my tent, take 20 steps and be on a logging road which leads to dozens of serene hiking trails.  I miss being around people who are so outdoor oriented – when winter is harsh and piled high with snow, I suspect we tend to appreciate the summer that much more!

Thanks for reading my meandering words!

~KM