Hello to all my dear readers, seasoned and new!
I have been slowly and delicately describing my transition from old self – feeling stuck in certain areas of life and not doing anything about it – to new self: making necessary changes and reforms with mindfulness and kindness to self.
So to recap: I left my partner of three years in January – some elements of that relationship were not healthy and it was time to change it. I left nursing school in February (again). This was very complicated because due to a health crisis last year, I also left nursing school. So I re-entered it this January only to discover that due to my working late nights at my full time job, I could not sustain a healthy body and mind and attempt to complete nursing school the way things were. Let’s just say I hid my head in the sand for a few weeks after that stomach churning decision! And just this month, I have put in my notice at my restaurant job (where I was feeling stuck and listless) and I am ready to move forward!
I am feeling better about my transition now. At first, resting in “I don’t know” mind was very difficult. I think change is difficult for anyone – and the transitions I am going through this year are staggering.
I have applied to numerous jobs at UVa in clinical research and I am applying to the local community services organization here in C’ville. So hopefully something will pan out shortly. I am okay with a couple weeks of not working – enjoying nature, hiking, sitting by the river, doing some writing and reviewing old Dharma teachings. But I would rather be working by May 1st!
I am also excited about an opportunity to give some basic Dharma teachings myself. Not that I am at all qualified! But I have been asked to do the majority of the teaching at a weekend retreat at the end of April – two days of teachings on the common preliminaries – the Four Thoughts that Turn the Mind toward Enlightenment and basic teachings on taking refuge – what to visualize, when, how to do prostrations, why we do them, etc.
So that is where I am at. I finish up my long relationship with the food and beverage industry this coming week. And that is all to the good. I am so relieved to be saying that actually – I feel like it is years too late.. But enough with beating myself up.
I am realizing (through dream guidance) that nursing may actually be the best way for me to move forward. I am disappointed I could not complete this semester, but I had to take care of myself. Hopefully they will let me back in, or if not, I will transfer to another school. Nonetheless, clinical research or offering community services type work will both be good as they are in alignment with nursing.
Thank you all for wishing me well and continuing to read my random missives!