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I am very blessed to be friends with many powerful people – practitioners, healers, teachers, nurses, holistic health practitioners, etc. One of my friends is presently doing a one year retreat. He has allowed some time to connect via phone with some of his closer friends, which I am grateful for. And let me tell you, I am extremely grateful for the presence and wisdom which come across the line when we chat. Here are tidbits from our recent conversation:
I recently quit my job. And I am looking at tons of free time which I have not had in over 18 months. So guess what I have done for at least a couple hours a day? Yes, I have regressed back to playing old computer games from the 90’s. Old bad habits die hard – even if I took five years off from them. How does that happen anyway? So I mentioned my time wasting to him. He gave me some pith advice:
Wasting time is toxic, it creates poor mental health. Get this out of my system now and move on with ease and grace and single pointed mindfulness. And he is absolutely correct. Who knew that playing a few hours of games a day could be so toxic? I am wondering if there is some toxicity due to my having taken Buddhist vows. Plus after one or two hours of sitting and playing, there are definitely physical signs that it is not good for me – stiff joints, aches and body grumpiness and my kidneys sometimes feel like someone is playing the drums back there… Not entirely healthy I suspect! Plus, I sat with a local Buddhist sangha not too long ago and we did some Deity Yoga practice. That was one of the first times I actually detoxed a bad smell – of course when I was athletic in the past I had some BO issues. But I was sitting there chanting mantras when I started heating up, sweating and then stinking! Good grief! Wasting time is toxic. The evidence was right there.
Penetrate what I do with my intention. He also told me this. The problem is, I am little shaky right now. My intention is to be of benefit to others always. Sometimes I have to practice more self care and if this is the case, I might need to pause being really useful to others. I am up in the air about moving – it will either be California or Florida. Some trips this summer will determine which I choose. It is my intention to be in grad school in the fall. So I am dealing with many many transitions. I feel a little porous at the moment. Hard to nail down an intention aside from being completely present as I surrender to my destiny.
Do what I love, pursue what I love. So what do I love? Again, here we are with these pithy advices. This requires that I get crystal clear about what I love. I think I am floundering a little deep inside. As one of my teachers, Julie Henderson would say, I am making a slow transition from personal pleasures to more mature joys of daily spiritual practice, but there have been at least one or two steps backwards as I slowly climb toward liberation and unconditional joy. So what do I love? I love practicing the Tibetan language. I have my good days and less than good days, but I love how it stretches my mind. Plus I am slowly getting better. I love spending time with Buddhist monks and solid practitioners (of course, if you wanted to improve your mindfulness and presence of being, who wouldn’t!). I am very blessed to have these resources around me. I might as well take advantage of my blessings while I have them! I also love being of benefit to others – whether through healing facilitation or astrology interpretation. If my words or hands can communicate the Buddhist prayers without being secular, that is great! That is my intention by the way.
For now, one of the only cards I can play is to let go, surrender and go with the flow.
Well these are my ramblings for the day here. Thanks for being party to them. By the way, one way you could help me spend my time more productively is by purchasing a Spiritual Astrology interpretation or a bodywork session. Nonetheless, wish me well as I strive for equanimity and deep presence and single pointedness.
Meditation Informs Healing Facilitation 