The past that needs some healing

Prepare yourself. Seriously, take some deep breaths, think of a place that you enjoy or a person who feels like a safe protector / friend / ally / support. Or think of an animal you love…

Take your time. Notice what you feel in your body.

Come back to this whenever you feel activated or agitated.

Now to wax astrological for a minute – bear with me if you don’t speak astrologese. Normal English will resume in a couple of paragraphs!

Long ago, when transiting Saturn was in Gemini, square my natal Saturn / Mars, when the swift moving transiting Moon was conjunct my North Node (indicating that if I made it through this, it would be for the best in the long run), and most importantly, when transiting Pluto was almost exactly squaring my North and South Nodes (I find this pattern to be quite potent for the purification of negative karma, especially when another planet also squares the Nodes).

In addition, transiting Venus was trine my natal Uranus and square Natal Neptune around the night that I had the dream which told me explicitly that “I had appendicitis.” Transiting Sun was opposite my natal Saturn and conjunct my natal Mars, this is also a rough time of the year for me. Transiting Sun conjunct Mars is often a time of too much Mars – cutting yourself (I had done this under this influence – requiring stitches in my finger), getting speeding tickets (I’ve gotten 2 in separate years under this conjunction), etc. Finally my Progressed Sun was one degree from being opposite my Hades Moon – Pluto conjunct Moon in Libra. So this piece will also tie into my Hades Moon series from last week (go back a couple posts and you should find it).

So you basically know my whole chart, and if you are really good, you could tell me around what time this occurred. 🙂

But don’t worry about that!

Okay, you know what. I’m not going to re-invent the wheel here. Go to this link and click on the 3 posts (starting with the Intro) about Near Death, Out of Body. https://astrodharma.me/?s=near+death%2C+out+of+body

Then you will have a good sense of what my session yesterday touched when I write about it soon. 🙂

Remember to breathe and connect with your resources! Or come see me for a session. Or both!

Thank you for reading!

KM

Using the past to heal the present (yet healing the past?)

I just returned from a potent Somatic Experiencing training in Roanoke, Virginia. Acting on a hunch, I volunteered to be the demo person on Sunday (just yesterday even though time is doing weird things at the moment, read on you will understand).

Well, it turns out that I was in for a whale of a session. Later, the lead assistant mentioned to me, “one of my mentors says that SE is sneakily powerful.” And my demo session proves that this is oh so true!

Fortunately, a friend agreed to take notes on my demo sesh. Little did I know he was going to transcribe 95% of the words that were said as well – good lord he went above and beyond! I am quite grateful however, as I can pick it apart at my leisure – hopefully without activating myself (triggering old frozen energy to re-emerge without being able to keep it in my Zone of Tolerance or Resilience).

To set a little atmosphere for the write-up (to come later, I am about to feel rather wiped out, you’ll understand why), about 15 years ago, during one snowy winter, I was out at my parents’ house in Afton VA. They live in a beautiful area nestled up against the mountains.

I happened to have my boots with me, so I decided to go take a hike. It had snowed a few days earlier, so I laced them up tight and started off. First, I let the dog out to come with me. She was the smart type of dog who could barely be contained – seriously, she climbed every fence that she encountered. So she was going to come with me whether I wanted it or not. Later, she would abandon me possibly due to the cold.

Another dog, a neighbor’s, also came with. I hiked up the mountain, all the way up to the Blue Ridge Parkway – a solid mile and a half hike. Through the 12 inch deep snow and ice.

Halfway up the mountain, my parents’ dog, with whom I was close, left. Probably heading back home. She was a lighter dog, so I think the cold, snow and ice bugged her. The neighbor’s dog however, stuck near me! It was a larger dog with longer fur.

Turning back, to look down across the snow-swept Rockfish Valley, I knew I might get cold and wet, what with hiking in foot-deep snow without gaiters on. I trudged on.

After a couple hundred yards, the slope steepened. And suddenly, I wondered if the crunchy top layer of snow-melt-turned-ice would hold me. Not if I moved slow. I was just crunching my way through it.

Then I realized, the snow might hold me if I am nearly flying down it. In the session yesterday, I actually said, “I discovered that I had to move really fast to be held by the snow.”

I had to move really fast to be held by the snow. Say that sentence again from the point of view of attachment theory. I had to move really fast to be held. Whoa! A fellow SE participant pointed this out to me – my attachment style or disruption was right there in front of me. Many layers of metaphor came out in this session by the way!

But sure enough, I started half-skating, half-skiing down the mountain on the thin layer of snow-melt-turned-icy-crust. I was racing down the mountain and my companion was staying near me. We were pronking – enjoying the moment, moving for the sake of excitement and play, flying down the mountain.

I count this among several magical moments in my life. Probably never to be repeated – considering my lack of coordination today, I suspect I might injure myself if I tried this next year. 🙂 I was probably cruising at around 20 miles / hour taking long loping, sliding strides.

This story came up in my session. Along with another story, which I wrote a bit about last year or a couple years ago.

It is a very pertinent story to the session. I’ll probably write it up again tomorrow – but now with another layer of meaning and extra layers of embodiment.

Thank you for reading! By the way, if you are in Charlottesville, you should consider coming to see me for a treatment. Somatic Experiencing is quite a powerful modality! And I could use some practice. 🙂

KM

Hades Moon becomes Wisdom Moon: Part One

Hello Dear Readers!

This post includes several topics: developmental needs meeting, a little bit on pre- and perinatal psychology / birth process work, healing early material, and Spiritual Astrology – specifically Moon in hard aspect to Pluto in the Natal Chart, a.k.a. the Hades Moon.

This will be a series of posts as it requires a bit of context to set up:

First off, not to ring my own bell or anything… but I have been on an intense psycho-spiritual journey now, mostly pushing hard, since 2005. I started taking Reiki classes and began studying astrology in 2003. But in terms of starting to buckle down on my healing process, it wasn’t until 2005 that I began doing more bodywork, receiving more bodywork and beginning the very preliminary process of untangling my inner knots. With that said, I had A LOT of dissociative / fantasy / numbing out / checking out type patterns to work through (in addition to the close Hades Moon in my chart, I also have Sun square Neptune)… so it has been quite the journey!

With that said, I have a true Hades Moon in my astrology chart – my Natal Moon is less than one degree away from my Natal Pluto – it is a close parallel (conjunction). I could chat at length about this – that would be another couple of posts alone! Suffice it to say I’ll try to narrow it down:

Keep in mind astrology is very complex – I am about to go against my usual parameters of not doing an astrology recipe book. What I am about to say about the Hades Moon will not be true for everyone: Because the aspects to the Hades Moon make a big difference between charts, the house placement of the Hades Moon matters a lot, the sign placement, etc. And if the individual is a Sun sign Cancer or Scorpio, then the Hades Moon would be even more prominent. However, some of this would apply to people with a relatively close Hard aspect between Moon and Pluto. With all that said:

One final disclaimer: when we discuss birth process / developmental needs meeting, we are carefully walking a delicate tight rope – we love our parents, our parents (hopefully) did the very best they could for us, and yet there were often some important needs that were not met or some hefty misunderstandings that they did not realize needed to be cleared up. Therefore, we can hold both anger (the challenge) and the positive loving-kindness we did receive (the health) at the same time.

Hades Moon: 1) the individual has a lot of deep karma with their mother – think going back life times and life times, some positive karma, some challenging karma (the challenging karma is pretty much guaranteed with the Hard aspect); 2) there is going to be some level of emotional hyper-vigilance – probably involving the mother (read on below to see what I mean), 3) the individual can use this extra-alertness to be more sensitive and some would even call it being psychic, this sensitivity might spill over into actually being more sensitive to substances, to pharmaceuticals, to essential oils, etc; 4) the individual is more aware of their environment and picks up on things easier, therefore they make great poets, good detectives, good researchers, etc; 5) sorry to say it, but at some point in your life, if you have this Hard aspect going on and it is fairly close in orb (1 – 6 degrees), you will most likely (unless you were born with incredibly positive karma) discover that you have some hefty repressed / suppressed resentment toward your Mum; in fact, that said resentment will probably be hidden by something else like sadness and maybe mixed with – fear if in Libra, jealousy if in Sagittarius, a big ball of complex emotions if in Scorpio (call me for an interpretation here), rigidity or a sense of duty or obligation or responsibility if in Capricorn… that was a mouthful…

But no seriously, this is heavy material. Check in with your body. Take three deep breaths.

Did you breathe? Why not? Do it.

Think about what makes you happy, or a place where you feel safe, or a memory of being held / cuddled by someone you love or an animal that you loved. Lean into your resources for a bit.

Okay. Back to the scheduled program.

Hades Moon (medical astrology bits): 1) constipation – Pluto’s suppressing / underground / sweep-it-under-the-carpet / hold-it-in effect on the digestion of emotions (Moon); 2) depending on where in the chart it is located and sign placement, it could amp up your nervous system really well – as in hyper-vigilance, anxiety, insomnia, think autonomic nervous system issues; 3) it could also (remember Pluto’s ability to suppress) lead to depression if appropriate outlets for resentment are not utilized (think autonomic nervous system issues going the opposite direction); 4) and it can definitely mess with the hormones – Pluto plays a big role in the endocrine system function and the Moon plays a significant role in estrogen / progesterone levels (not to mention prolactin); keep in mind I am not a doctor and therefore I do not claim to diagnose, cure, treat or alleviate any medical condition – if you think you have a medical problem, go see an appropriate licensed practitioner!

Okay so that is enough on the Hades Moon portion of this series. Although more on that later.

And it would seem that I am about to write a book here… hhmmmm… 🙂

In the next post I will start discussing how, despite working through some significant birth issues over the past six years, and from doing other resourcing body (psychotherapy) type work since 2005… I discovered a significant piece from when I was about 4 years old. And processing it recently has been amazing, liberating and challenging. And of course, it all ties in to this Hades Moon thing quite tidily.

Thank you for reading! More to follow..

KM

Yin Yoga – several hours of non-conceptual abiding

Wow! Just wow!

So I did Yin Yoga for a long (75 minute) session today and the effects were pretty stunning. Did it with a friend, so just the two of us. Pretty special actually in that – couples Yin Yoga (!)

We did a set that focused on the kidneys and bladder. Although it seemed to me to focus primarily on the spine (but then again that too makes sense – the “heart openers” where you open your chest out also affects the kidney meridian and the poses where we had our chins closer to our chests probably stretched the bladder meridians in the back).

I left her place soon after and once I got home, I was amazed at how little I wanted to do. Or think. Or process.

It was incredible. In case you can’t tell, I am interested in learning better ways to relax and rest down. And wow have I found one! I wanted to lie down in Shavasana (corpse pose) for an hour – and basically did. I attempted to do a workout but my rest time in between sets became 3 mins, then 5 mins, then 7 mins 🙂

I also had the brilliant idea to start organize my documents to prepare to do my taxes… yeah, that lasted a mere 5 minutes! Before my brain said, “Uhh, are you serious? You want me to process hundreds of numbers right now?! I don’t think so!”

Well I can’t wait to do the other sets – the fire set (Heart / Small Intestine meridian poses), the earth set (Stomach / Spleen), the metal set and the wood set.

And honestly, I could probably do this same set we did today a hundred times and continue to get something out of it!

It is becoming more and more likely that if I teach in the future, it might involve some Yin Yoga. Will keep you posted!

Thanks for reading!

KM

May have discovered a modality that unites what I know!

Hey Astrodharma readers!

I recently was introduced to a form of yoga (similar to Yin Yoga) that focuses on tonifying the acupuncture meridians. It was pretty awesome – at least the five or six poses we did. Discovered that each pose is paired with a meridian and I could (additionally to what the book described) make an educated guess about which chakra it was working with.

I have been looking for a way to blend Western Astrology with Chinese Medicine and believe it or not, this form of Light Yoga or Yin Yoga for Meridians may actually do that. Because I want to have my students and clients be in their bodies – therefore I am not just going to lecture for two hours straight. That might not be kind to most people.

So what if we discuss an astrological topic, drop in and do a brief meditation and then do a couple of these poses, and afterward I can explain the benefits and who might need this (and astrological configurations it would be good for)? Sounds pretty awesome to me.

I am going to do more work with this modality, but I am excited as this seems to be just what I have been waiting for. I am working with a friend who is a hidden yogi on opening up my kundalini, working with my meridians and channels and doing more Dharma practice. And now this piece even ties together what he is teaching me!

Wow! Feeling so blessed!

Thank you for reading,

KM

Beginning a new Chapter

I recently gave a Spiritual Astrology interpretation where I began (intuitively, extemporaneously) to blend Chinese Medicine information with Western Medical Astrology and some Somatic Experiencing type trauma resolution / Polyvagal system wisdom…

It was pretty awesome to be able to see various patterns emerging out of the mists of the karmic holographic Astrological Horoscope! Now that I have been working with Chinese Medicine a bit more (I’m not an expert by any means, rather I completed a program in Chinese Medicine, learning Acupressure, Shiatsu and Pulse Reading that was over 250 hours long; and I’ve been using this knowledge for over a year now!), I am very happy to see it informing other modalities that I practice. It also regularly comes out in the spa – asking the Kidney oriented questions are the easiest (we have so so much stress, lack of resting down and overwhelm in our culture). 😦

I included a diagram which I have not seen anywhere else regarding what happens to anger when it forms in the body without having an outlet? Or especially not a healthy outlet. Plus I included a piece about the astrology of the nervous system! Wow!

I am beginning a new Chapter in my life. The old way of doing things is melding, transforming, evolving and blending with new modalities and information. I don’t know where I am going to land with it. I believe it shows up in my astrology chart however (of course).

Progressed Mercury returning to its natal position: Time to get started! (When Progressed Mercury goes retrograde when you are two or three years old, that means it will be a while before it returns to its natal position! For me – age 40. Talk about a late bloomer) 🙂

Progressed Sun not far from conjunct natal Chiron: Wisdom downloads are available. When will you check in to receive them? Exact in two years.

Progressed Venus just entered Aries (for me) a little bit ago: New cycle, take charge, rest down and allow this new hatching process to complete itself.

A number of planets aspecting my natal Pluto (both Progressed and Transits): allow that which needs to die, to transition, to release; repair what you can, keep growing and moving forward. Learning new things, resting in ease and confidence. Practice the three impossible acts: Let go of everything; Make nothing; Allow everything to be as it is.

Thank you for reading!

KM

Roller coaster of a Valentine’s & benefits of doing Tsok offerings

First, yesterday was a bit of a roller coaster for me. It is challenging being alone on Valentine’s Day and seeing all the lovey-dovey pictures on Facebook. With that said, I went to a strenuous Pilates class that worked me. I left feeling curmudgeonly yet good – like I had worked through something big.

Then I gave a passive stretching session – in massage school I learned over a 100 passive stretching techniques. I am thankful I was able to practice them for an hour on a co-worker before I lose some of them (I use about 20 – 30 when I do reflexology or during massages but some of the other stretches I haven’t used in months!).

Next it was off to give a Shamanic Hot Stones treatment to a friend. That in exchange for a beautiful painting (will load picture later). She loved the treatment.

Then later, I went to a sound bath healing – a beautiful, kind-hearted musician played singing bowls, gongs, chimes, a unique instrument I had never heard of before – I need to ask her the name of it again. It was like a long mandolin except there were strings on both top and bottom! That was quite a radiant experience. I set my intention to be in my heart and boy did that ever happen. I felt myself wanting to write love poetry to my recent ex… thankfully I caught myself before sending any. Gotta make sure both of my feet are on the ground!

If you are a regular visitor to this blog, you would recall that last Saturday I went to visit a secret yogi. They impressed upon me the utmost need to do the bare minimum of spiritual practice for a Vajrayana practitioner: to do at least 28 Dorje Sempa mantras daily (preferably before going to bed) and to do the two Tsok feast offerings on the Guru Rinpoche Day and Dakini Day – the 10th and 25th day of the Tibetan Lunar calendar. This is the bare minimum, but they also said that if possible, I should also do some of my main practice daily.

So guess what today is? Guru Rinpoche Day! I did not get to the grocery store yesterday, so I soaked some yellow lentil beans over night, added spices and at 4 am this morning, I awoke for no apparent reason, and put them on the stove on low. Then when I awoke to my alarm at 7 am, I turned up the heat, put quinoa on, cut up a pear and an avocado and put some ginger snaps on a nice plate. I arranged the offerings and did the Tsok feast offering practice!

Wow this is a powerful practice. You know, it is interesting. The yogi friend of mine (spiritual friend is more like it) told me things that mostly I already knew, but they reinforced it in such a way that I heard the vitality of maintaining those practices.

I had already heard that doing the Tsok offering feast is THE MOST potent practice a yogi can do. It purifies aeons of negative karma – not to mention the negative karma I have created in the past two weeks! DISCLAIMER: DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!!!: My spiritual friend said that if I were to have a month or two off of work, and offered five Tsok feast offerings / day, I wouldn’t get to 50 Tsok’s before I got sick – it purifies that much negative karma (hence having a lot of time off of work just in case!).

In my case this morning, I did not attempt to accumulate crazy amounts of the mantra – just 108 – and yet I was already sweating as my body cleansed and purified something… just saying! And yes, it might be too much info!

Therefore, I am feeling quite solid now, more stable as the blessings of the lineage have at least somewhat permeated my mind. May that continue and may sentient beings know happiness and its causes!

Thank you for reading,

KM

Attended a humble Dharma teaching tonight

Lean into your Sangha. Especially if you feel safe there, if you have one or two good friends there (if not, work to establish some?).

I have had a roller coaster of a past year – intense massage school experience (you can go back read about in January – April 2018 posts), intense amount of practicing bodywork since May 2018 and less Dharma practice as a result.

It is amazing how we can attend the greatest teachers, get all the empowerments, read up on Dzogchen and Mahamudra, and yet, if in our daily lives we do not practice sound mindfulness and continuously practice moral ethics and discipline, then our practice won’t result in anything. That is my story… I have been so blessed, but if I only really practice once or twice a week – and really binge on Netflix, avoid my basic practices the rest of that week… then my intention of realizing Buddhahood soon will be for naught!

So that is what I am working on now. Cutting out all leaks in my container as it were – eliminating computer games, creating board games, excess Netflix shows, etc. I get so much benefit from sitting on my cushion even just 20 minutes / day – why do I resist it like the plague? And if I sit several 20 minute sessions / day, then legitimate, unconditional joy starts to arise. My monkey mind must be harnessed!

I attended a humble Dharma teaching tonight at Blue Mountain Dharma Group with Lama Gephel. He is a great teacher – modest, humble, yet humorous and spicy when appropriate. We each read a passage from HH the Dalai Lama’s commentary on Kamashila’s text in HHDL’s book, “Stages of Meditation.” And of course my passage mentioned the need for and the benefits of mastering calm abiding meditation! Of course it did!

It’s like the Tibetan yogi-saint Milarepa said to physician-meditation master Gampopa, his top student, “My highest teaching for you is to sit so much that you get callouses on your ass…” [I’m paraphrasing btw.]

I now know that that is beyond me (not to mention it sounds terribly uncomfortable!). But sitting for a total of 30 – 60 minutes a day? Doable. That is my intention! Go slow. Rest recover retreat.

Thanks for reading!

KM

Bodywork benefiting from blessings

The work I do with clients is, of course, confidential. However, today, a day back from visiting a hidden yogi and receiving a number of blessings – spiritual, energetic and informational – I knew some things about co-workers when I took their acupuncture-type pulses. A couple of things I had never heard myself say before 🙂

And yes, it turns out that my clients are benefiting from the inner changes as well. Not to mention enhanced intuition. Yay!!

May all beings find the mentors, teachers and coaches they need to move forward through confusion and stuck places! ❤

KM

visiting a hidden yogi

As a adjunct to what I wrote yesterday…

My visit with a spiritual friend is kind of turning some of previous thoughts on their heads – specifically that we must do our spiritual growth work. Yes I have done a lot of work on myself. Yes they even said that I had cleared up and opened my chakras up to my throat, but somehow they were able to complete one more step for me – allowing the Kundalini to start heading up my central channel through my throat.

So yes, I’m sure my karma plays a large role in this connection with them. They obviously think I have some potential or that I will be devoted enough to put their advice into practice. So maybe this is them paying back some positive karma? I don’t know. I am very grateful nonetheless.

Plus doing practice last night, it was incredible how fast the work they did proceeded to produce results. When I was just doing 100 dorje sempa mantras (the buddha of purification), I felt quite different than usual. More diffuse, expanded, it is really difficult to explain.

And on waking this morning, I actually slept in. Normally I can’t sleep past sunrise (I used? to be very sensitive to light). They did some work on my nervous system as well… apparently that is very efficacious too.

My mind is blown… I probably won’t say too much more on the topic. But I suspect my bodywork clients will also start to receive these additional blessings 🙂

At least I hope so!

Thank you for reading,

KM