I am writing this post about a relationship I have been in for several months.
Back in March, I wrote a little about how she made my birthday one of the best I have ever had. She wrote a love song to me, about me and then proceeded to serenade me with it! What?! On top of that, she bought me delicious dinner and we went out to a great concert! So that was one of my most memorable birthdays, at least in the past 25 years!
So not to be outdone, I wanted her to have one of the best birthdays – because I care about her deeply (and her effort for mine makes it easier for me to reciprocate!). Therefore I booked an Air B & B location west of Staunton Virginia, in the beautiful rolling hills of the Shenandoah Valley. The B&B that I got was expensive (for me anyway – $220 / night for all fees etc) but it turns out it was well worth the cost. The owners did not spare any expense – they had high quality organic snacks available, the fridge was stocked with drinks, the bath and shower products were top notch. And to top it all off, they had a pool, hot tub and a deep soaker tub! Whoa!
We tried to get there early to take advantage of all these amenities. Warming up in the sun by playing outdoor ping pong was fun. Then we hopped from the pool to the hot tub several times. That was quite the healing phenomenon! We ate delicious Mexican style tacos with carne asada. And I had been writing love poems for her on origami paper, which I folded into little cranes. So about once an hour, she took another crane and opened it – there were a total of 14 or so? Which meant she took several home to open on her own. That was pretty special, either my reading them to her, or her to me. I love feeling my love being reflected and reciprocated back to me. It is so easy to be generous in a relationship when it helps me be in my heart so much more fully! Hashtag inspired 🙂
Then the following day we went for a hike at Ramsey’s Draft – which purportedly has old growth forest way back in it. However, we did not have the energy or the hiking-with-packs-practice to hike 12 – 14 miles round trip in an afternoon. Instead we did a ridge hike that had some incredible views looking out toward Highland County – which is also gorgeous by the way! (We took a little detour over there by accident getting out to Ramsey’s Draft. Do not trust Google Maps directions for “Ramsey’s Draft Wilderness” – it will take you to a dead end about 20 minutes past where you want to be.)
Next time we will go back with camping gear and proper supplies to hike in to the back of the wilderness area the first day. And then hike back out the next. I do want to hug a 300 year old old-growth Hemlock or Ash tree! The Sequoias of the East?
This new relationship has me thinking. About life, about my future, our future hopefully. And also about what I want to be when I grow up. It sounds crazy (because it is), I am 40 years old and I am still questioning what I am doing with my life. I am a talented healing facilitator, I can resource a traumatized nervous system with the best of them, and I am a competent astrologer. But I still haven’t found “it” yet. That which grabs me, ignites my passion and makes me say, “This is what I want to do with the rest of my life.” I pray I can be of more consistent benefit to sentient beings than I am currently and be appropriately reciprocated for it.
It seems I am on the verge of something big spiritually / emotionally / psychologically. Up to this point in my life, I have had the mistaken (I know this cognitively but something deep within still has fear) view that in order to have money, I have work my butt off. I have to work very hard for any little thing I get. In other words, I succumb to a popular view that the concept of lack (of abundance) is how the world is and I have to scratch and scrape for every little morsel and scrap I can get. And I have made a few financial mistakes – but nothing major – in my life and I am human and might make a few more mistakes. Sometimes I wonder if I want money at all – is there an aversion? But we need it to survive and especially to thrive. I do want to support a family soon, of my own. I want to take my new family to Hawai’i to show them my birthplace. So I need money. I am really tired of not having anything tucked away for retirement. Yet even if I am relatively poor, I have love in my heart, for me, for her, a beautiful co-created generous warm-heart-embodying relationship. What else do I need? While this deep inner pattern works to re-organize, I will be leaning into this blossoming partnership I have discovered. Love is all there is. Money is energy. Gotta love ourselves first!
May it be so for all sentient beings!
Thank you for reading,
KM
Meditation Informs Healing Facilitation 