Chasing after happiness, falling flat on my face

October is / was an interesting and wild month for me. I got back from Canada, raring to work with babies.. I treated three of them, plus another family that lost a newborn (which is so tragic and terrible by the way). I sometimes wonder if that treatment of the grieving family is still affecting me. I may have fallen flat on my face at that point…

Then it was dating. Using a dating app, I somehow found myself with three dates with three different women over three weeks. I went on those dates and (due to my sensitivities and being equal parts yin and yang, I am looking for a special woman I think) was generally less than overly impressed. Don’t get me wrong. Here in Charlottesville, we are very fortunate in that most men and women are very well educated. You could say this is a bit of an enlightened population. Having UVa intertwined in the community certainly helps.

Nonetheless, I went on several dates and I do not believe any of them will pan out to be romantic. Friendship might be possible, but that is probably not what most women are seeking with dating apps (am I right?). So it seems I fell flat on my face again. Although I did remedy my loneliness for a short time – good company in any form is good company!

Here is the key: when we seek for happiness outside of ourselves, we will always be disappointed in the end. It is like drinking salt water – the more we drink, the more we crave, and our thirst is never satiated! It is time for me to realize that true happiness lies within. And hopefully I can find a partner who also realizes this! True contentment can only be found within. And we must discover tools and techniques for tapping into that inner happiness – whether yoga or meditation or qigong or another modality which helps us to feel more alive and joyful (within our selves).

I am getting there. But I have definitely not reached the other shore just yet. Samsara still has me in its grip. At least I am aware of when I am about to fall flat on my face, and I can avert it before it leaves a lasting mark!

Thanks for reading, and good luck discovering your inner joy and easeful contentment!

KM