This is my weekly (or biweekly) update from Crestone Colorado, where I am attending a magical, transformative and intense massage school program.
It is truly incredible how much we are packing into these weeks. With a schedule from 7 am until 7 pm, we rarely have any free time.
I have completed part 1 of the 3 oral exams. We were tested on about 150 acu-points in various sequences. The nice friendly teacher turns into a gruff sensei for oral exams – questioning my confidence enough so I have to really push the right answer. It was good though. Next week is part 2 – the assessment portion. We are already doing complex Oriental assessments and acupressure formulas for various issues and complaints.
We are forced to do Kundalini Yoga once / week. And I typically dread it. If you are a dedicated Kundalini Yogi – turn away, skip the next couple of paragraphs, etc. I come from a place of radical kindness – from Zapchen Somatics where we rest a lot to allow the brain to integrate and soak up the neurological nourishment of playful, dynamic, soothing exercises or whether from a Pre- and Perinatal place that uses science to back up the fact that as babies we needed 20 – 30 minutes of rest time after a very challenging transformation from dim, quiet, private, cozy womb-resident infant to bright, semi-harsh, overwhelming-amount-of-new-senses air-breathing human new-born. Here is the problem though – needs like that rest time and other needs are often not met in most hospital births. And we develop the belief that life is tough and that we must push through, we must work harder to get what we need and want.
But this is not true. It is an impossible job to control everything in our world (but we try!). And I believe that some people transfer this inner unease onto their yoga practice. There is another way! A kinder, gentler, easier way to move toward ease and grace. Down the road I plan to teach this style. (there is an irreverent part of me saying, “I can call it Kundalini Recovery”) (if Kundalini is an authentic beneficial practice for some people, then I apologize)
So I am sitting with this inner conflict and pushing through my objection (not good!). I need to express my objection and let it out. Fortunately there are only 8 more sessions of Kundalini Yoga. Oh – and we are forced to teach an hour of it too. Hopefully I can find the gentlest Kriya there is – one where we are not holding our arms at awkward positions for 7 or 11 minutes straight.
Actually, the stretch pose (where you lift your legs off the ground as you do Breath of Fire) reminds me explicitly and distinctly of my time in the military. That was one of the positions the Drill Sergeants put us in when they wanted to “smoke” us (humiliate, punish, deprecate, etc). Not cool – I left the militaristic paradigm 13 years ago. I’d rather not go back to it.
Thank you for reading my rants and more to follow soon,
P.S. I am gazing out at frosted mountains with a couple inches of snow on the ground with flurries wafting through the air. There is much to be appreciated here!