This material is copyrighted by M. Kirby Moore. Reproduction without permission is prohibited. If you would like to support Kirby in his blogging efforts you can purchase Astrology interpretations or bodywork through his website: www.mkirbymoore.com A quick way to support Kirby’s blogging efforts is to click on the ads below (if you want to).
Thank you for visiting!
I am writing this post as an update for my “progress” in Florida, and to comment on the phenomena of disenchantment or disillusionment being able to be positive and a potentially maturity-oriented noun. Another reason I might be writing this is to clarify my thoughts on what has been a confusing process.
So I moved down here to Florida, or at least I should say now, I moved about half of my stuff – mainly physical possessions. I have visited Florida several times and I thought it might be a good fit. I have some friends down here and there are many Drikung Kagyu practitioners of Tibetan Buddhism (which is the lineage I feel a close connection with). That and my primary spiritual teacher has his residence down here, for when he is not traveling or teaching elsewhere.
Having been here for two months, I think the word “moved” is erroneous. I should have been clear from the beginning – this was really an experiment. Can I weave into the physical environment here? Can I find some similar kindred spirits who I can share my presence with and who will provide me with good company? Do I feel like my potent gifts of awareness and emotional clarity are a decent fit down here, do people appreciate me for who I am and what I can offer them? Are my skills with bodywork able to be put to use?
Unfortunately, almost every answer to these questions are a definite “NO.” I am someone who enjoys a deep connection with the Earth, I like to hike, to swim, to bike and to be outdoors. Whether it is watching the sunset or just enjoying the leaves change to winter, I am fed by my connection with nature. And so far, I have only been on edge being outdoors here. I don’t know how to deal with alligators and people keep reminding me that there are many (new and foreign-to-me) venomous snakes here. And of course, there are panthers and large bobcats here too. Ooph!
I am finally feeling like my expectations of finding a decent job and enjoying time with my spiritual teacher (soaking up his awesome teachings and presence and fiery potency!) are dissolving in these autumn breezes. I have applied to dozens of jobs and so far, all doors are closed to me. I have been rejected, even by some jobs I thought I was qualified for. So I think it is time to throw in the towel. No need to try to push onward in a situation where I am trying to move a mountain by myself. I have nothing to prove to myself.
Yes, I will tire of explaining why Florida did not work out, but my true friends will understand. My ego might take a little bit of a hit – I wanted this to work out, I wanted to slay my dragons away from the beautiful land where I have spent 27 years of my life. And it is okay. My ego could use a good dose of reality from time to time!
I’m not sure when I will actually say goodbye yet, but I think my time in Florida is now limited.
Thank you for reading.
2 thoughts on “Positive Disenchantment”
Hello Kirby enjoyed your sharing, it recalled a song by J. Lalah Simcoe named “A Cup And a Journey. A Cup And A Journey, LOVE
I like the title of that song! Thanks for sharing! 🙂 Hope you are doing good.