Frustrated in Tampa

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I am about to share some things which are a bit more personal than some of my other posts.  And with this said, you (regular readers that is) are probably thinking to yourselves, “What?  He already shares intimate details of meditation retreats and other areas of his life.  How could this be more personal?”  We will have to see.

First of all, I have moved.  As I mention in previous posts, I have been prepping for a big move for some time now.  When I was in Virginia, waiting for the days to pass when I could head south to start a new life, I felt ready to move.  Now that I am here in Tampa, I’m frustrated.

I want to provide some background info so this new sharing is better understood.  I came to Tampa for two weeks back in early August to make certain this was the place for me.  It felt pretty good.  My spiritual teacher is nearby, it has a great Buddhist sangha, it has pretty many alternative practitioners (at least not too far away in St. Petersburg) and it is a lush beautiful environment in which to live.  Also, when I was here previously, the internet worked easily and I could have many pages open at a time.

Since I was last in Tampa, I did a bit more channelling and I helped to assist a class in Craniosacral Therapy, so I felt very embodied and relatively close with my guides.  Guides here means beings who are not in a body (at least not in our dimension).  Some people call guides wisdom beings, angels, etc.  And some people (not me for the moment although I hope this changes shortly) have a strong connection with their guides so they have enhanced intuition and wise guidance to follow.  I would consider this to be a blessing.  Of course, when working with guides and other-worldly beings, you must first be discerning about those said beings’ intentions and agendas.  Once you determine that they mean no harm and are beings of high frequency of love, compassion and joy, then working with them is very fruitful.

So that is my context.  Now, why am I frustrated?  Because I am apparently waiting for something (my guides are telling me to wait).  I want to find a job now.  “No wait a bit.”  How long do I need to wait?  “Until you feel a felt shift in the situation.”  When will that happen?  “Stupid question.  See previous answer.”  Argh!!  “Back off.  Slow down.  Practice self care.  Soften your eyes, be in your body.”  More argh!!!  “You are stubborn aren’t you?”  Yes.  I am apparently changing / shifting something internally in preparation for the future.  The future is apparently involving a female partner for me, but I need to pause on that too.  “Stop hurrying.  Your need to know is an obstacle in this situation.  There is no rush.”  Okay…  working on it!

So I think I know it is talking about.  She is presently engaged elsewhere.  I might not even have the “right” person in mind.  I need to do what ten years of spiritual practice / bodywork / and somatic processing have prepared me for.  Playfully resting in the moment and waiting without gripping or grasping or clinging to the outcomes I prefer.  Wow – this is going to take all the skills of presence and patience that I possess.  Wish me luck!

Did I mention I have not been here an entire day yet…  Hoping I can relax into “don’t know mind” real quick.

Thanks for reading.