Having a vacation be idyllic every day would be expecting too much. Especially if that vacation spans several weeks. My first morning in Ca, I had planned to visit one potential graduate school. In retrospect, I should have scheduled a day to acclimated.
Heading into town, I started to feel a touch anxious, which is not unusual. But it continued getting off the BART. I felt adrift in a foreign ocean (the Mission District of San Francisco). It was full of a variety of individuals – professionals, young, old, a few homeless people, which is always interesting to encounter. But the feeling that I was in the wrong place kept gnawing at me.
I had about a mile walk to the school, which was made longer by my getting turned around. So I started to pass more and more sketchy individuals. Not that there is anything wrong with this area, just that I was feeling vulnerable or just plain out of sorts. I am the type of individual to trust my intuition, so I should have stopped to somehow throw the I Ching to confirm that nervous feeling.
Well, I arrived at the school and things did not improve much. The security guard told me which floor to go to. I checked in with the receptionist, but the people I had been communicating with were not in. So I asked about the class I was supposed to attend. I looked it up on a sheet and went to wait in the classroom. No luck. Waiting for twenty minutes, I got very frustrated and upset by how it was feeling like I had fallen through the cracks. What was my heart saying? It wanted me to inquire more. Was there someone else I could speak with? But I was not able to speak with anyone who had specific knowledge of the program I wanted. Gggrrrr!!! I had had enough. My sense of discomfort had not eased up, so I left to find some lunch.
Luckily, later, a professor called me back and I got to ask more questions. But my initial feeling was that the place was either very loosey goosey, or they were having an off day, or Perhaps they had specific days for people to visit, and I missed them. Not sure.
On reflecting, I may still apply there and go back to visit in the winter before deciding. But I would need to have a radically different experience to change my mind.
I went back to the home I was staying in, and then I actually took the next two days off, to rest, to walk the town and to integrate all my Hawaiian experiences.
Meditation Informs Healing Facilitation 