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After having worked like my life desperately depended on it for the past five weeks or so, I finally had an afternoon to rest down among supportive Dharma-practitioner friends (spiritual friends) in one of the most potent and juicy environments – at an annual winter retreat.
I have been feeling burnt out (already) at work and needing a break, so this breather was so very refreshing. I wrote down a little about the shift from “computer-game-mind” to returning to a community with heart.
Settling down.
a few minutes pass…
noticing a baseline of anxiety and a rapid heart beat – is this usual? ugh I hope not!
luckily I arrived for the afternoon Zapchen session (see below about Zapchen), and of course my friends, having had three days under their belts, were diving in deep. Today is advanced techniques, which thankfully I have already done in numerous previous retreats. However, my body was in curiously rough shape…
But it only took an hour.
With yawning, sighing, resting down, I began to notice how tight certain parts of my body were – shoulders, lungs, pericardium and surrounding heart areas and once I became very aware of subtleties, I noticed that even the lining around my brain was contracted and it did not have any ideas about when it would be letting up…
the icy grip of computer-game-mind was showing its effects. With time, and with juicy guidance from a qualified Zapchen teacher, I began to allow the sunny potency of trust and self-love to penetrate the tight regions between and within cranial bones…
at first I thought it might take days or weeks to unlock the many frozen layers of fascia and dura mater within cranium, chest, but with awareness, and being gentle yet firm, I found myself being able to smile with slightly more ease…
Wow! Then the comment, “Make little kissy movements around the top of your crown…” I did not know how to do that. Followed by the awesome comment: “the juiciest moment is when you notice that your brain notices that it’s just been kissed!” Whoa… I could chew on that exercise and resulting subtle awareness for a long time!
So, with humming, with awareness and with breath and sound, I repair and re-member numerous layers of tissue today…
First I recollected all my scattered bits and pieces, then I set a clear potent intention, and then I rested in alignment once I got there…
“Gee! That’s different! And at this point, different is very good!”
So now, when I notice contraction setting in. Which direction will I choose? I need to make a daily, system-wide announcement that all the various (different aged) parts of myself are loved! Good good.
Happy New Year All! May all beings know a happy and healthy New Year, free from suffering and dissatisfaction and its causes.
Zapchen Somatics are a system of simple, potent exercises, techniques and games which lead human beings to rest down into their bodies, to be in alignment with ease and to be more self-loving and playful. All to the good really. Zapchen was created by Julie Henderson, Ph.D.
Meditation Informs Healing Facilitation 
Lovely~thankyou.