Eccentric relationships – Venus and Uranus Part II (astrology)

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So… for those of you fascinated by the first article, you will discover my theory(s) about dealing with Uranus in hard aspect to Venus below.  For those of you who have not read Part I, I would highly recommend going back and doing so. You can find that link here:

Several thoughts arise when I consider Uranus in aspect to Venus in a Natal Chart.  First, Please keep in mind that spiritual (evolutionary) astrology is quite complex, therefore, to only look at one aspect in a chart and to think that you can isolate it and its reflected traits without considering the rest of the chart is a big error.  As a result, please, please(!) do not read this series of posts and think that you know all about someone who has this aspect in their charts.  Rather, spend time getting to know the whole chart – it can take years, seriously – before jumping to any solid conclusions or assumptions.  Also, when we practice frequency based astrology, you never know where the person is on their psycho-spiritual path, so we cannot label a certain aspect and say, “Oh you have “X” squaring “Y”, therefore you must do / think / process “Z”…”  Nope!  Does not work like that – in fact, that is what gives astrology a bad name (see fortune telling).  Choice-centered, frequency-based astrology takes many, many factors into consideration before concluding anything, and it should be a fluid, flexible conclusion – not the written in stone, “it can’t change” prediction.

Speaking of fortune telling, I wanted to make certain that my audience understands that I do not fully agree with the teacher who told me about this aspect (Uranus and Venus in hard aspect causing men to require new partners every few years).  We do not know what karma is in store for us – and I have certainly seen exceptions to this rule – men who lived happily with their partners for twenty years or more, while having Uranus in a hard aspect to their Venus in their birth charts.

In my personal experience, I believe that A) once we discover who we are and what we need from a partner to lead an inspiring, growth-filled existence, then B) we can seek out that partner.  However there is a reason most people cannot do this, when we are going through life reacting to each situation and keeping so busy trying to just make ends meet, that taking a lot of time out of our lives to unwind the deeper essence of our being might be out of the question.  To get down underneath all of the layers of conditioning and “you-are-supposed-to-do-X-with-your-life” thinking, takes a lot of time and contemplative energy.  So are you willing to work on yourself first?  When I was in the 9th grade in high school I told my mother, who might have asked me about girls at the time, I said, “you know Mom, I want to improve myself until I meet the right one.”  Little did I know it at the time, but that is what I have been doing, and I think it is what is necessary if we want to avoid some of the pitfalls I am pointing out in this article.

What is someone going through who has this aspect?  In answering this, the complexities surrounding a chart must be considered.  Merely having Venus opposite Uranus does not mean we can know everything in the way of challenging traits.  It can bring about magnetism, charisma, charm, guile, jealousy, flashiness, bohemian likes and desires, and / or a unique fashion sense among other traits – which depends on the signs involved and house placement of the aspect.  If someone has many beneficial aspects in their chart (keeping in mind that some squares and oppositions manifest positively) and very few challenging ones, then a Venus / Uranus contact can be positive overall, without much in the way of hectic forms of relating.  However, in my limited experience, trouble can arise (in intimate relationships) when there are a number of Saturn / Pluto / Neptune hard aspects in a chart plus Venus / Uranus.  I will develop this idea further…

It is my humble belief that we are purifying our karma in each incarnation as human beings.  However, while we keep that in mind, it should not be used as a crutch – we can’t say, “Oh, I act like that because it says so in my chart.”  This is an erroneous belief, in addition to being a horrible excuse, and a foolhardy method of going through life. But seriously, I have heard it – all you Scorpio Moons out there, please stop saying, “I can’t help my behavior, I have a Scorpio Moon.” Sure, your lust / jealousy / emotional dial might be turned up a tiny bit more than someone with their Moon in Leo, and turned up higher than a Moon in Aquarius / Virgo often is… but it doesn’t mean you lose all self control! Sorry about that rant. I have heard it a few times – especially when someone is a double or triple Scorpio (not easy to be sure).

Rather than blaming my actions on my chart, I would recommend saying, “my chart would indicate certain proclivities.  I have noticed these tendencies manifesting within intimate relationships.  Now, having this foresight, what can I do to work on deepening my awareness, practice mindfulness and strengthening my inner resources to gently confront and change these patterns?”

We can always be thankful for the opportunity to purify our challenging karma – just don’t lean on it too hard, or give up saying, “what’s the point?  My karma is my karma.”  That is also in error – the Buddha, among other spiritual teachers, said that we have to work on ourselves in order to grow and improve.  No one can save us, no one will do the work for us (at least not the work which results in lasting transformation).  We have to step up to the plate and say, “okay – this is my issue.  I acknowledge it.  And now I will try to practice being gentle and kind with myself and with my process as I work through it.”

Back to the astrological issue at hand – Venus and Uranus, while keeping the above information in mind, we can start to discuss what this aspect is and ways around / through the energy.  As I mentioned, someone who has a lot of personal growth work to do around their inner patterns, who also has a hard aspect between these two, will probably be reactive and involved in some strong, subconscious projection and defense mechanisms, especially in intimate relationships.  So, the first step is to gain some clarity about the self – meditate, do yoga, chill out in a contemplative manner, have your chart done by a professional, spend quality quiet time in nature, go to a therapist (for a number of months at least – get into the uncomfortable material and gently continue working it) and / or receive bodywork from a qualified practitioner or any number of introspective alternatives.  [Revised 4/26/21 – I would highly recommend receiving Somatic Experience sessions if you can. Some psychotherapists use this excellent body-oriented approach. This will help you to exfoliate layers of activation and reactivity, especially if you can do 5 to 10 or more sessions!]

If you have experienced trauma as a youngster or if you suffer from high levels of anxiety or worry (indicators of early trauma or birth trauma perhaps), then you should not do talk therapy alone. Find a somatic-oriented approach, like Somatic Experiencing. Talk therapy which is cerebral in nature only (excluding the body as it were) could just re-trigger you and possibly re-traumatize you without allowing you to release the deep cellular wounding.  Rather supplement talk therapy with some form of bodywork or at least do some acupuncture as well.

If an individual has done a lot of their personal growth work, then they are aware of their old tendencies and patterns and they have either released them, compensated appropriately or learned positive methods / tools for adapting.  If an individual does not have much in the way of strong, subconscious patterns or reactions, then they have many choices – to be in a long-term intimate relationship, where they can speak their needs and requests and have them honored, or they can discuss their patterns and habits with their partners and work something out, maybe living separately but still being together, among other options.

As I mentioned in Part One, space is necessary where Uranus is concerned.  So there are many ways to create a win-win situation within partnerships with one or both partners having this particular hard aspect.  Have a separate bed ready in case you want some space, or do what my aunt and uncle do – have separate houses.  One of the partners might travel quite a bit, creating natural space and allowing creative, positive tension to build by not being around each other every day (absence usually does make the heart grow fonder!).  There are options – talk about it and try to understand each other’s needs and then work to meet them (compromise or negotiate as appropriate).

Remember as well that astrology is a blue print of our ego.  And most of us are very attached and tied to our ego states.  However, with diligent meditative practice, we can start to overcome the ego, or at least gain control over it.  Supposedly, when the Buddha attained enlightenment, he was no longer affected by his astrology – because his only wish is to benefit all sentient beings, there is no ego to wrestle with.  Wow- there is hope after all!

There are many manifestations of relating with awareness and clear communication but the take home message from this aspect is to expect a bit of excitement, freshness and magnetism.  If you are in a relationship with someone who has a hard aspect between these two, you might want to analyze where they are on their path – are they embodied?  Have they done much in the way of personal introspection?  Do they react strongly or in strange ways when you make requests? If this answer is yes, then expect them to grow and to change – so I would recommend not being too attached.  But you should ask yourself why you have attracted that person into your life.

Or on the other hand, are they mindful, kind and patient – both with themselves and others?  Do they take time for themselves – time for self care?  Then you might have a bit more of a clue as to how conscious they are of their inner processes.

The heart speaks a language of its own, and it truly takes time to learn that language (especially for men who grow up in Western cultures).  Then honoring what we hear the heart saying takes even longer.  So have heart, and more importantly, have patience – with your heart, with your partner and with yourself.  When we have this aspect in our charts, we have the capacity to hear that new language of the heart, but do we have the courage to march to the beat of our own drum?  Plus we need resources – time, energy, financial – to take the time we need to move toward present, wholesome embodiment.  It is well worth the journey.

These words were hastily written in November 2009 by Kirby Moore.  Updated 3/1/2010, further supplemented in 2015. And revised a touch yet again in 2021.


Published by Kirby Moore

Kirby Moore is a healing facilitator based in the beautiful rolling hills of Charlottesville, Virginia. He does sessions in-person and long distance via Skype and Zoom, working with Spiritual Astrology, Somatic Experiencing, Biodynamic Craniosacral Therapy and Birth Process Work. His healing work is informed by fifteen years of meditation and Qigong practice. He works with client's intentions and deepest longings to attain clear, tangible results. Contact him for more info at (email): kirby [at] mkirbymoore [dot] com

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