Wisdom on vacation

Hello Dear Ones,

I am vacationing with my new wife in Hawaii, the land of my birth. As we enjoy the sites and sounds of paradise, I am remembering, renewing, rebirthing some old wisdom.

It doesn’t have to be as hard as I make it. Because I was born & raised on Oahu, and I have spent many days on the Big Island, I took it upon myself to be the tour guide of our trip. I wanted this to be a perfect trip. But is that realistic? Well, I came down with a mild case of Covid about 5 days into the trip. So this really slowed me down. Around the same time, my wife sprained her ankle… so we went from doing 3 or 4 things a day, to doing 1 or 2. And I am coming to terms with that being okay. We can save some sites to visit for next time! We want to come back to the Aloha State within a few years, if not sooner. (I would love to lead a retreat here in the next 2 – 3 years). Thankfully we both feel better now so we can hike or do whatever we enjoy!

At Waimea Valley and Falls, a very sacred place to the Hawaiians, we made prayers and set intentions: May we both trust the process more, lean into support and safety, and go with the flow. It feels like this entire trip has been testing me in this regard. Can I trust the Universe, can I trust strangers, can I expect healthy positive regard from them? Yes! This is the Aloha State and most people here still embody the Aloha Spirit. Can I let go of any nervousness about this trip? It has already been an epic journey. We have seen whales and spinner dolphins up close (relatively speaking), we visited Volcanoes twice, we have seen multiple water falls, rainbows, and we have had such sublime, peaceful days on the beach. And we even went snorkeling a couple times!

I want to practice self-care on a moment-by-moment basis. I want to listen and honor what my body needs, what my nervous system needs. I want to lean into the safety of that. My intuition is enhanced by my bodily knowing, and this can be an all-the-time scenario if I continue to take good care of myself. In this regard, on this trip, I have seen how I have a fear of heights when I am in vehicles. I had a couple of traumatizing events in the past involving vehicles and scary heights. Well, I have some work to do around this unique acrophobia. So we don’t have to visit Waimea Canyon – whether I am the driver or the passenger, I don’t want to be squirming and freaking out inside when I look out the car window and see a 1000 foot drop. I want to enjoy myself! So that is what we are doing, and it is completely okay! I will do some work on this phobia and then we can come back in a few years and see it.

Less is better than more. My wife, a very wise woman, continues to remind me that she is completely okay with sitting on the beach watching for whales and being enthralled when we see one (or six) breech and make a huge splash. I am so thankful that we are both into less structure – less mission and more fishin’. Most days we don’t have a schedule – we have a list of possibilities. Maybe we will visit these falls, and that beach, and that blowhole. But if we don’t get to one, it is completely fine! The slower we go, the faster we will get there!

Rain or shine, we can enjoy ourselves. Merely watching a sunset or sunrise here in the topics, we are so blessed! Being able to see whales most days is crazy. Just glancing out over the horizon and happening to see a whale breeching, I am deeply appreciative and grateful. Being able to spend quality time with my wife, getting to know her better, is so very special. Leaning into intimacy and trust. Opening to each other, showing each other our soft underbellies, is what it is all about.