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I am writing this series for several reasons. First, I would like to inform my audience of my experience and opinion regarding astrological Venus in aspect to Uranus and how this affects relationships. Second, my theory will be introduced about how we can avoid the typical flash-in-the-pan relationships which often arise with Uranus and Venus combinations. Finally, I will gingerly discuss the ramifications of what I am proposing – most of which will be in further posts. [Please note – anyone with sensitivities to colorful language or sexual topics should quit reading now.]
Normally, I would not be so frank and open, but it feels like this information needs to be shared. Because these are my intimate thoughts on a delicate subject, I ask you to not reproduce anything written here – if you want to refer people to my blog that is fine. With that, I am writing what is near and dear to my heart. Having in my horoscope, this funky little aspect, of Venus square Uranus (6 degree orb), has been a fascinating experience and journey. Many astrologers – both my teachers and peers – have shared their thoughts with me about this dynamic. And actually it is funny how the mind works (my afflicted mind in particular) – for several years, I would casually glance over and past this aspect in my chart. I’m not sure what my reasoning was – “oh it’s 6 degrees, that’s too wide to matter… I think… moving on now…” Subconsciously I think I knew this aspect indicated work that needed to be done, however I was not ready to face it.
Something like that, except I did not consciously realize it was uncomfortable until one day, my first main astrology (and meditation) teacher, about a year into our teacher / student relationship, told me, “you know Kirby, men with Uranus in hard aspect to their Venus cannot keep an erection after several years of being with the same woman.” I thought about this for a minute. Then I realized… oh damn!
“Hey! Wait a minute.. I have Venus square Uranus in my chart…” I replied. Well, yes you might have guessed it, she was a Sagittarius and Sagittarians are exceptionally talented at sticking their feet in their mouths. She was no exception to this rule and she answered with, “oh… well.. maybe you will find a way around this…” She did not realize, as far as I could tell, that she was pointing out something from my chart when she said it. Nonetheless, her response definitely sounded flaky, leaving me undecided between dumping my respect for her (and possibly regretting it later) or realizing I had some significant work ahead of me. I thought to myself, “well, so much for traditional relationships,” or to be more honest and accurate, “Damn it!!… I’m screwed!” Actually, having six years of cathartic, plumbing-the-psychological-depths-spiritual-practice time, I feel I have discovered some ways around it.
I now realize that this teacher was not justified in proclaiming the encompassing blanket prediction like she did. I say this for several reasons – first, consider the raw numbers of men who possess this aspect in their charts – I am absolutely certain that at least a few of them do just fine being with the same woman. Second, each Venus / Uranus hard aspect is different – house placement, signs involved and how the partner plays a role in this dynamic. If you think about it, consider how many people have Uranus in hard aspect to Venus. The opposition, square and conjunction are three aspects, and say each has a seven degree orb (both sides of the aspect), we are looking at 14 degrees per aspect. Three aspects times 14 is 42 degrees of the birth chart, and 42 into 360 (all the degrees of a chart) is 7 / 60. Therefore, if this statement is entirely true, seven men out of 60 would have this issue and therefore would have a major difficulty maintaining intimate relationships with the same woman for more than a couple years. Consider the United States having 300 million people living in it, say half are men. Then this ratio produces the number of 18 million men in the U.S. To me, this number seems high. Sure, the divorce rate is increasingly higher, but I would argue that there are many (other) factors involved. Not to mention the fact that each of our karmas is different.
Second, consider all the possible mixtures of these two planets. Uranus in aspect to Venus can happen in any sign and in any house of the horoscope. The conjunction would produce the same house, same sign contact. The opposition produces an opposite house / opposite sign dynamic, and the square can be in any number of sign / house alignments. I have to wonder if there are some houses that diminish the affects of this aspect. For instance, the angular houses of the 1st, 4th, 7th and 10th houses seem to give more strength and physical manifestation to the planets occupying them. This is the case in my chart, but it would only be the case in one out of three charts having this hard particular (specific situational) aspect occurring. It seems like having this aspect in the succedent houses – 3rd, 6th, 9th and 12th – would soften the physical manifestation of the dynamic – it might affect the personality or the mind. Then, as I mentioned, another piece of this puzzle to consider is the partner. Actually, I am going to touch on this extensively in Part II of this series.
To me, Uranus in hard aspect to Venus (square, opposition and conjunction) produces eccentric, authentic relationship needs and sometimes this dynamic can be discerned through the softer aspects of the trine, sextile and quincunx. So, what is this series of aspects about? Uranus is a fast energy – buzzing and electrifying, it energizes the nervous system and speeds up synapses in the brain – basically leading to wittier thinking, ingenious ideas and outside-the-box, ahead-of-the-curve types. Uranian types are the visionaries of our time – thinking at least 20 years ahead of conventional methods. Venus of course, is all about love, art and what we desire (to keep it simple). Combine the two, especially in a hard aspect and you suddenly have an individual who, in intimate relationships, easily bores of the same routine, the same types of love making, the same responses and reactions – they have a flare for the unique and for freshness. They need to find ways to liven up their relationships and to do new activities and explore new places – maybe expand the social and psycho-spiritual circles as a couple. And most importantly, there is a need for space – nothing clingy or sticky is allowed for long when Uranus is involved (there might be some RARE exceptions to this rule when Scorpio / Pluto is involved).
There is another piece of Uranus that I would like to touch on. Uranus, to me, has an element of enlightenment within it. Clairvoyance, lightning bolts of clarity and insight, and intuitively knowing what direction to move in – instantly – are some of Uranus’ higher frequency gifts. Now, combine that with Venus, and you get a mind that is capable of making a decision rapidly, regarding an intimate relationship and then it is just as capable of thinking weeks, months and even years into the future regarding where a relationship is heading or where one could go if the relationship were redefined. Uranus demands authenticity, and if we listen carefully, whole heartedly, with patience, deliberation and discernment (not jumping to any rapid conclusions as the mind is very capable of throwing some curve balls), we can know when we find a suitable mate or when we have found another growth experience.
In conclusion, people with Uranus in hard aspect to Venus have an exciting, fresh and unique method of being in intimate relationships. One of my teachers, whom I respect, mentioned a controversial ramification of this aspect, which could easily be true when there is not much consciousness brought to the process. However, when we do start to unpack our painful decision making, to explore our suffering and our habits / patterns. And most importantly, when we start to process our activation and reactivity, then we will have to choice to approach relationships from a more stable, enduring perspective.
In further posts, I intend to elaborate on my theory regarding this dynamic.